Do All Suicide Survivors Think The Same? | Spectrum 

Thank you to our cast for having the courage to share their stories with us. Thank you to all of you for listening and sharing with us as well. If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide, please call one of the following organizations (+feel free to add any we may have missed): National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor Project 1-866-488-7386 Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255 press 1 Crisis Text Line Text TWLOHA to 741741 Options for Deaf & Hard of Hearing 1-800-799-4889

Basically “I don’t want to die but I don’t want to live like this”

“I want to live, but it’s really hard to do that.” Sounds so simple, but that’s exactly what being passively suicidal is like.

I made a suicide note about a year ago, reading it literally gave me chills. Just you, your thoughts, the darkness, and the four corners of your room...

When someone is suicidal calling them selfish can just make them feel even worse about themselves. If someone has a terminal illness it’s not seen as selfish to end their life but when you’re in just as much pain because of a mental illness suddenly it’s selfish. Mental pain is just as bad as physical pain!!

“Do ex bullies think the same?”

“Do all single parents think the same”

Im so glad that they included a conventionally pretty girl who looked like she had a been a cheerleader. it’s so common to think “she’s pretty so she doesn’t have any problems” when that’s absolutely not the case.

All three times I've attempted suicide I never truly wanted to die, I wanted the pain to stop. And the pain depression makes you feel is different, it makes you feel like that pain bothers everyone, you deal with the pain alone, you just want it to end and death becomes a natural thought. Unfortunately, most people end up regretting moments later...

"Do all people who lost someone to suicide think the same?"

The fact that most of the survivors are women is because most men don’t survive their attempts. That breaks my heart

I remember telling my parents about my depressed feelings, their reaction was something like “no wonder you don’t have any friends, everyone hates having a negative person around them” which kind of made it worse at the time. I realise now though that they didn’t mean it in a negative way, they just didn’t know how to react

Here’s my story. I’m 19 now almost 20. My first suicide attempt was age 10. I was self harming every day. I started starving myself when I was 12. Nobody noticed for YEARS. My dad was an alcoholic and he abused me heavily. Every day he would scream at me, throw things at me, say terrible things about me. He would hit my mom and scream at her for hours every day. My mom and I had to clean the whole house every day top to bottom spotless or we would get abused. If we missed one thing we would pay for it. As I got older my dads drinking got worse. My mom got on drugs but she stayed. Cops knew my whole family on a first name basis. When I started high school I spent 6 months in psychiatric care for repeated suicide attempts, self harm, and anorexia. My parents kept pushing me to K!ll myself. Telling me I should know how to and I was selfish, i should just kms so I wouldn’t be their issue anymore. The physical abuse and neglect got worse. My house was filled with roaches and hoarded stuff. No food to eat. I was attempting at least once a month. I got my stomach pumped 3x my freshman year. Eventually my dad got removed from our home thanks to CPS when I was 15. Then he went to jail for Domestic violence. I ended up graduating high school at 16 bc if I didn’t just finish I knew I would drop out. I took a year to work on my mental health and gain employment. The next year I lost a close friend to suicide and got into drugs bad. When I was 18 I became homeless. This year I’m currently in my second year of college and I have my own place and working on myself. It’s been really hard but trying to get better for myself, my cat, and my amazing partner who has been there for me for nearly 3 years now

*people romanticize depression and anxiety* This is so accurate

“do all people with eating disorders think the same”

"It's not a trend, it's an issue" that's really accurate with a lot of things with social media.

Those who call suicide selfish are selfish enough to label a person without fighting their fight.

“Do all ppl who’s had an abortion think the same?”

How about: - "Do All Sexual Assault Survivors Think the Same?" - "Do All Celebrities Think the Same?" - "Do All Feminists Think the Same?"

What bothers me is the people who say “to commit suicide is the most selfish act”. Jesus, how narcissistic can you be to not accept other people’s struggles? Really, it amazes me the lack of empathy.

Hi there, I hate it when people say that suicide is for 'weak' people. Can you imagine how it feels to be in a situation where you can't control yourself? Everything in your head is so so messy that you can't think clear? Yes, I did care about my parents, I did care about my family and my friends. But at that specific moment my head was in so much pain and not only for one day but for weeks and the only thing I had in my mind was rest and peace. I didn't see a different way to stop the pain at that moment. You have to understand that suicide can be an illness. It can be fatal. But if you learn to get to know yourself, control yourself and begin the see that it is an honour to be alive. Then you CAN win this fight. It's not something you can do in 2sec. It needs time and sometimes it needs help from others. And maybe while you are reading this you think 'well I am not able to do that, it is not possible'. Well it is. I am a survivor. You have no idea how lucky I am to be alive. Thanks to the Intensive Care, I am. And, I am happy and grateful to be alive. After my attend happened, total stress took over my body and my will to life and survive was huge. I was lucky. I survived. Till this day I have lived in shame, especially to my parents and family. They don't know it or see it. But it still is there. I am also facing trauma's and many regrets. But I am trying to live and deal with this. If I hadn't survived this, I would not have rest. I would maybe life in the same shame, regrets, and stress but then, I won't be able to fix it. But now I am a living human being, and I can fix it. I will always life with ups and downs in the rest of my life. But I believe that there is only one chance in this life. And if I stop right here. I have wasted it, because you have been given an life. Not to end it, but to life it. (Please remember that this is my opinion based on my experiences and thoughts. Ps: English is not my mother language

my family: "Don't commit suicide you'll embarrass us"

1. This is too short 2. Aster's fashion is on point 3. Mental health is important Edit. This is in no order

Can we just talk about how brave these people are to speak up for the people (survivors) in public so that we can give clarity to people

people who call suicidal people selfish have either never experienced it or forgotten what it feels like.

That Korean guy needs serious help even now. He should not be left alone

“It’s like I wanna live, but it’s really hard to do that.” I broke down y’all sorry

When the girl in the white shirt said how being alone fulfills your happiness it made me feel so validated. I hate being around other people and people think I’m weird for not wanting to have a lot of friends and for wanting to always be alone (although I do like being with my family or boyfriend )but I’m most happy alone

"Being suicidal is selfish because it passes down the pain to others" What I feel that is absolutely awful in that quote, is how it's centering (as always) the people that don't deal with the illness itself, instead of the person that is suffering so bad that death is the only issue they can see. Like YES, suicide has consequences on others. Mental illnesses have consequences on others. But when I was in the hell of depression, I was the one that hurt from it. When a member of my family had an eating disorder, they were the one that hurt from it. People don't realize that suicide is the outcome of sometimes months, years or decades of silent pain and living hell. What is selfish is making the suffering of others about you. What is selfish is guilt-tripping others because "it's gonna bring me pain :(((" without considering that suicidal people have to live for themselves, and not for your happiness. The ONLY time I began feeling better, and not having suicidal ideation, is when I understood I could live for myself, when I could see my value. When I was living for others to not bring them pain I was only surviving. I wasn't living.

“do all people with eating disorders think the same” edit: include men and women and people of ALL sizes and ED’s, not just people with restricting ed’s

A moment of silence to those who didn’t survived

"It's okay to not be okay". These words describe what I try to tell myself for years. Thank you for saying that.

Brandon seems like the guy who gives the biggest and bestest hugs ever he just radiates lovely positive energy and it's just so sad to someone like him being so down and attempting to end such precious life

I love how they added a deaf people mental health helpline

There’s a difference between living and surviving.

I’ve watched all of the other Spectrum videos but had avoided this one out of fear. I lost my brother to suicide 20 years ago. I avoid getting triggered because it hurts so badly. I have never once thought he was selfish. I can’t imagine the pain he was going through that it felt like his only option. To anyone who calls it a selfish act or a sin, you haven’t been to that place. My brother was funny, sweet, had lots of friends, but was in agony. I miss him so. Thank you to these brave panelists. I wish you all the best.

2:39 when the woman gave the other a hug that was so heartwarming. I would like to give them all a hug because they have stood through so much. I wish all the best to you. A wonderful day to all who read this❤

The fact that the women attempted suicide because of assualt speaks for itself

“I don’t want to measure myself on one emotion” wisdom

I will never agree that suicide is selfish because if someone had terminal cancer and was dying you’d never call them selfish. It’s the same thing! Mental health is the same as physical health both can be killers and just because mental health deaths are self conflicted doesn’t mean the person is to blame

That group hug at the end.. Throughout the whole video I just wanted to give each and every one of the participants a hug. I would actually like to give everyone struggling in the world a hug. If they’re okay with physical contact, then a hug could really help change how someone feels and allow them to talk about how they feel. I was so happy seeing all the hugs at the end, it made my heart so happy.

we need to normalize discussions about men's mental health.

My families mentality: I can't be depressed because i'm only a teenager, I don't have kids yet. I have a good education, why would I be depressed....right?

the girl jn the black shirt, her eyes are so sad. i remember that look on her eyes... that's exactly what i see in my reflection 5 years ago. wow.. five years have already passed. let's keep going :') ;

Immediate tears with that first hug omg

i wanna see a "do all bullies think the same?"

So touched by the black woman who immediately went to hug her

Life doesn't really get better... you just get better at dealing with it

This helped me so much. I searched this topic to give myself another reason, but knowing that others experience what I go through helped me take a step back

It’s so hard to have that mindset that “it gets better” when your depression and anxiety keep telling you “it’s only going to get worse”

“Mental illnesses that are seen as attractive like anxiety” Cough cough TIK TOK cough cough

I attempted suicide about 10 years ago, and I take anti depressants and I see counselors and push myself to get better. It is hard as Hell to do. So many times I wish I had succeeded the first time, and the thoughts of another attempt is always there.

As someone who has dealt with suicidal depression for 15 years and is 20 years in age, believing that suicidal attempts are selfish really hurts me because all you want is for it to be over and for everything to finally be okay. It’s like you never have a moment to breathe, a time where you can feel truly happy. Each day and night you’re asphyxiated by your own thoughts and dark feelings or devoid emotion, so you’ll often believe leaving will benefit those around you because you feel like a waste of space or a heavy burden. Or simply that it’s so painful to live, why keep on going? My incentives were staying around for loved ones and career. But sometimes that isn’t even enough. Many days I still wish I were dead and have almost achieved it. Yet I keep on going. Sometimes without knowing why. It’s absolutely sickening to me that this mental illness is romanticized since it is such agony to wrestle with. It feels like a constant suffering I can only find temporary suppressants for. So stop and take a minute to understand this brings torment to those who endure it, so fetishizing it does a great disservice to those who have it. Kinda like how announcing you’re gay/trans to get attention is extremely disrespectful to those who are actually having trouble coming out. (And for those wondering, I’m doing alright but it’s a constant struggle.) Update (9 months later): I'm in a much better place now. And for the first time in fifteen years, I've gone nearly a month without wanting to end my life or attempting to. Here's hoping the streak continues.

The worst thing about suicidal people is they are so nice to everyone

“do all indecisive people think the same” i wanna people just walking around line to line cause they can’t decide

this episode speaks to me on such a personal level. whenever i feel like i’m at my low point, i’m coming back watching this to know that i’m not alone & there are people who are going through this as well. thank you to the participants for the courage to speak openly about this topic, it means a lot to some people out there! 🖤

This may sound cliche but most of the suicidal people dont want to die ,they just want to end their pain

“I dont wanna live but im too scared to die”

The trans guy made me cry. Like I feel bad when he say he feels he needs to be happy because other people want you to be. I want to hug every single one of them

from a person who has tried to commit, i think this is SOOO brave going on here and i am proud of every single one of these people ❤️

I am not selfish. I just want the pain to end. My pain is sometimes stronger than the love i feel for my family. Telling me that i am selfish makes me even more suicidal

“People start to care once they die.”

I want to hug Alia, she has such a sadness in her eyes.

Suicide isn't selfish. There will always be family or friends who want to live a long life with you. But it's never selfish to want to end your life. It's your life.

We need more of this!! People talking about their life experiences, deep depression. And acknowledging that it can and does get better, but you really hafta work at wanting to get through it.

S/ O TO THE WOMAN THAT HUGGED THE GIRL THAT STARTED TO CRY. That’s all people need sometimes, a hug.

“It gets better” doesn’t mean the waves stop, it means they aren’t as big and overwhelming. The sadness still comes, but it doesn’t drown like it used to.

Wow, It's like looking into a mirror. As weird as it may sound but I want to give everyone in this video a huge hug. Like I feel like this is the friend group that I was desperately looking for because they understand and went through what I went through.

Seeing everyone going to the right after being asked if it gets better really touched my heart. I'm happy to see survivors have hope for the future despite life being so difficult at times. It is a reminder to us that we must believe in ourselves and our capacity to achieve our ideals and be at peace.

i feel so bad for that Brandon, he seems so alone in this topic:(

the fact that that guys sisters never even knew he attempted broke my heart

Thank you, guys! Made me feel that I'm not alone, and that there are still people out there who can really understand how hard to deal with it every single day! Love you all out there humans!

Hearing stories such as these and getting to know their thoughts bring my emotions up high because all I can think about is how devastating it is that there was once a time that they viewed taking their lives was the only way to feel better. No one should ever be pushed to that point, to the point of actual exhaustion over living your life.

“It’s not a trend, it’s an actual issue that people live with every single day” THANK YOU

“It gets better, but it takes time” too real

I think that ending when everyone just hugs everyone. Physical touch is a very healing moment for us depressed people because it reminds us that we are loved. Being able to go through and survive a very very dark place through sheer will power is like a rock that went through immense stress and becomes a diamond. Going through those experiences makes one of the most genuine and compassionate people in the world because they understand what it feels like to have depression and don’t wish for others to go through the same tragedy they did.

A friend ended things just a little over a year ago and now another friend has confided in me that they are seriously considering it. Thank you for sharing your stories.

“do all therapists think the same?” AND IFF SO, I volunteer as tribute

The Korean guy is still in a very dark place. My heart goes out to him.

I’m proud of myself because its been a year officially since I’ve last harmed myself. I’m proud of the people in this video who are still here and I’m proud of the people watching this video who are free from harming themselves in any way and even the people who are because they’re still here. I’m also proud of the people who haven’t harmed themselves or haven’t felt the need to, which is absolutely amazing!

Thank you so much for the people in the video for sharing your stories. I lost my mum to suicide and I was tearing up through this whole video. Thank you, thank you, thank you! this is so important!

I hate when people say “ ur too young to be depressed” people would be mad when I was sad and wonder why I’m depressed

Knowing that they all couldve been dead right now is breaking my heart

I really wish I could have a sincere talk like that with other survivors, cause I feel no one around me really understand what I’ve been and am going through. They’re so strong for sharing this.

I never understood how people could not be suicidal. Like how is that even possible? I know people over 50 that have never even thought about it. It’s just so strange to me.

Suicidal people don’t want to die, they just don’t want to live the life they’re living.

"There are still people whom I don't even know who love me" Thank you

the best one I have ever watched, coming from someone who dealt with attempting, its heartwarming to here everything that they said, makes me feel way more comfortable with who I truly am

All the support for each other is bringing tears to my eyes. I hope y’all know y’all are all worthy and loved

the fact that one girl ran over to the other girl when she was telling her story- its not okay to be this nice

"mental illness is not a trend, but it's an real issue that people deal with" Theses words can be written in gold

The worst thing is when you confide in someone about your thoughts and feelings and then they say ‘everyone’s a little depressed’

This series has literally helped me so much Thank you from the bottom of my heart to it's creators This is the most wholesome channel on RU-vid I feel like a more evolved person Just understanding these spectrum of unsaid things being articulated so beautifully.

For me, "it gets better" doesn't mean it goes away. It just means I find ways to deal with it and not let it have control over my life.

"Do all introverts think the same?" ASAP PLEASE!

It’s so hard reaching out for help within my family because they think it is just an act. I am glad I found this video and I hope anyone that is struggling is able to find help

I just want to say crying seeing this, who has been scuicidal and suffer with mental illness. You all are strong! Thank you for sharing! I hope everyone is doing better now! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Have anyone ever felt 'i wanna go home' when youre already home? Thats my kind of suicidal thought put simply.

I don’t think anyone commits suicide wanting to die, they just want the pain to stop

Idk if any of yall will see this, but i think you are all so amazing and brave for sharing your stories. All of you are beautiful and your passion and perspective brings so much to this world! You are inspirations.