I have to imagine that for some people the urges really do completely go away. But even when I was in a phase where I hadn't SH'd for years and genuinely felt that I was "done with it" I still had mild, fleeting urges, sometimes even if things were okay in my life. But I think I agree that generally it depends on how things are going in your life, and how prepared you are for it/if you have support. Personally from experience, I just expect it to be something that won't ever completely go away, but that doesn't mean I can't manage it or live with it, or that it won't get easier.
Really respect your views and experience. None of us can really rely on “never” or “forever” when it comes to life. Understandably it’s hard to believe it is possible when things are really shit. From a reversed perspective; when I was seven years clean (and clear of self harm thoughts) I honestly believed I would never ever fall back to my old ways. Which in retrospect was very naive. Keeping an open and curious mind is all can do now. Thank you again for sharing 👏👏👏
I like to think that emotions are like clouds. Sometimes they are massive black ones that cover the entire sky and it seems like it won't ever go away. But then it rains. Sometimes they might come back but only for a little while. I just hope that when they come back, I'm better prepared and remember my umbrella lol
I found your channel a few days ago...many thanks for verbalizing the reality of SH, all the emotions, pain, relief shame compulsion, help, solutions etc... I am not alone in this
In my experience, they can go quiet, even for years, but for me they return. I'm 43, and I have only self harmed once since October. That was in February. This is after undergoing DBT and years of other therapy. I am still in therapy, still on an antidepressant and anti-anxiety med, and I still struggle. Having to get stitches in the ER without anesthesia, because lidocaine doesn't work on me, helped me for months to resist. I'm a borderline. Last night, I almost gave into the urge, after arguing with my mother, but I managed not to. My internal voice is still degrading me today, but I'm putting the skills to work.
I wouldn't say they go away. if they did I would have quit years ago. I've heard it said the urges can come and go like a tidal wave, I think that's pretty true but also makes it sound like the urges are only brief which isn't accurate, at least not for me. I think someone can be clean for years but one thing can make them snap and they go back to it again. so I'd say no, it never go away. maybe with a strong support network it can be easier to avoid it and not have too many thoughts on it but i believe the thoughts will always be there no matter how far down they get buried.
This pretty much describes my 20s. I appreciate your words and insight. What I ponder is “if it goes away and it’s been away a while but then comes back; does that mean it ever went away or are we in a constant state of IS or ISNT?” My original perspective was that this question cannot be answered until I reach the end of my life. The other question I ask myself is “how long without thinking of selfharming till I can confirm that’s it’s ‘gone away’?” At 31 I can only remain curious
So far my urges have never gone away completely. I still hope they will someday. Sometimes I want to relapse just so I can stop thinking about it all the time for a little bit. I'm not going to, I've been doing well with fighting the urges, but fighting it all the time is so exhausting. I still love life and am doing my best to enjoy it when I can, but having all this going on beneath the surface is so frustrating. I don't talk about it with people, so it's just this silent battle inside my head.
Suicide tw here . . . . I more often think about whether or not suicidality will go away. For me personally, even when I’m doing well, I still feel that the way I’ll die is by suicide. But it’s like you said, when I’m doing better I definitely think about it less. Certain things (physical health being the biggest) trigger these thoughts. I feel like I struggle with SH urges a lot less.
Yes some times my self harm urges do go away at times when I decided to channel that urge by writing in my journal or by doing tae bo workouts I know it's strange but it's worked for me in the past few years
Jesus is the only one who can save you! He can save you from emptiness and most of all He can save your soul from eternal damnation!! Seek God while He may be found! Call upon Him while He is near!! We are not promised tomorrow, so hurry before it's too late!!
