Do Women Force Men to Pick Up the Pieces After Having Children by Those Who Are No Good? 

Are you going to wait years to have sex with someone though? It would take me years to assess whether they'd be a good parent for a child, I don't know anyone who would date someone for years without having sex - except for a few devout religious people. And I'm an atheist who wouldn't want to raise my kid in a religion, so dating religious people is out.

Yes!!! This glamorization of single motherhood makes people feel better and ignore the fact that in most cases it starts the cycle of poverty. Nobody wants to hear that though. I'm sure someone is about to post and exception story and tell me how wrong I am. At the end of the day, we should aim to stop burdening the system with this problem. Along with as stated earlier, always having to walk into a blended family. If you waited all your life to wait for the right person but too many people [your age group/dating preference group] are "done with that" because they already had several.....that's problematic.

@@lorettaknoelk3475 In my country I don't think single motherhood is glamorised, it's more that there's no stigma anymore. I was raised by a single mother in absolute poverty. My 'stepdad' has been around for years but is really just my mom's boyfriend, because he barely interacts with us, just says hi and bye when he comes over. He never wanted kids. As someone who is approaching 30 without finding my life partner, this is a big issue for me. I don't want to date someone with kids, I know I wouldn't be able to be the stepmom the kids deserve. I don't want to deal with exes being around. I don't want to enter into a relationship knowing that I'm (quite rightly) always going to come second to the kids he already has. If we did have kids, then there's constant worry about whether kids are treated equally. Whether kids will feel upset about dad having another family. And the finances... The guy will be paying for not just our kids, but the kids he had before I met him. There's so much difficulty that arises when choosing a partner with kids, I don't want to deal with all of that. But even at my age I'm finding lots of men already have kids. My older brother dated a woman (who was 30 like him) who had 3 kids, some already in their teens. But he was finding it so hard to meet someone that he decided to try and make it work... It didn't for lots of reasons, but one of them was the kids were hostile towards him, kept telling him their mom was cheating on him. He was so kind to them but obviously they don't want him around, what kid wants a stepparent? It feels me with dismay that these kind of situations are more and more common. Absolutely you should leave the mother/father of your kids if they are abusive in any way, but I wish people would try harder to make their relationships work when they have kids. And wait longer to get to know a person before you have kids with them. Leave some people for the rest of us to start families with, without having to deal with all the baggage.

@@kf5338 The Real is based in the US and if you watch it they have said at some point what states they either live or are always in. So if you can't relate, why participate?

@@kf5338 boy this was a lot to read but the more I read is the more it makes sense. you're a hundred percent right

It's the fault of racist sexist conservative Christians. Those are the people that need to be 'canceled'. And by canceled, I mean, 'un-alived'.

Wheeettt! The show is ending!? Why😭😫?

That's a great idea. Similar to Fox Soul

I think having Garcelle on the show helped her make that change..but it was a great one

Yes, I actually like this setting better without the audience.

Exactly. It's always the women and nonbinary people who suffer at the hands of cis het whlte men.

yes, mostly because we don't have access to birth control and/or abortions. even if we get raped, we HAVE to give birth, and adoption is a really hard route for most women.

@@15minutestoread97 wait in which country are you are ever with rape you HAVE to keep the pregnancy??

@@15minutestoread97 this is literally not true.

A woman decides to have a baby. The woman is the only one who can carry a child and women decide to get pregnant or take the chance with unsuitable partners/fathers all the time.

They do when they raise the child by themselves. That’s called taking responsibility

Always has to be men’s flaut, What’s so crazy about some women accepting responsibility that they chose the bum?

Then gold diggers will have nothing left to do or fall back on, they won't be able to "blac chyna" a man anymore 😂🤣😂🤣

One simple RU-vid search contradicts what you just stated, plenty of channels are having this conversation. Some for it some against it, but they do exist.

So true - i was shocked how many homeless people there are - it really saddened me.

Just remember: it's the responsibility of whlte cishet Cnristians to take care of the homeless and impoverished - not us. THEY are the ones who are responsible for them being homeless in the first place. If you wasn't for Christianity, capitalism, and white-supremacy, there would be no such thing as 'homeless'. Ideally, ALL minorities (POCs, LGBTQ) should have housing, be rich, and shouldn't be forced to 'work'. We need reparations and we need it now

With all this stuff that we need to do, what do they need to do? As far as I can remember, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

True!!

What does that have to do with this?

Let them use contraception....don't they already?? If they do not want to be trapped, they already have condoms...d'oh?!?!

Condoms break. The only thing closest to fullproof way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence.

No such thing as a 'great man' if said man is cisgender, Christian, and heterosexual. Facts

@@millykendrill5301 um ok

That’s my thing! My kids dad is a WONDERFUL father, we just didn’t work out as mates. Not all single women with kids are looking for another father for their children , some of us just want a partner for ourselves!

@@apRN1993 so would you date a guy who was broke then . if he made much less than you would you still take him as a partner since your not looking for another father for your kids .

@@jgibson8092 Broke? No, he shouldn’t even be dating if he’s broke. As long as he makes enough money to support his own lifestyle independently then yes. Not sure what that has to do with what I posted earlier.

50/50 chance?? Do you know how odds work?

@@propogandalf I mean with having a baby either you do or you don’t, not about to be technical with it.

@@malishaguerrier You tried to get technical with percentages and ratios and they were inaccurate

For men, maybe? But women and nonbinary people? Please don't tell us when and who can can have sex with. We are inherently sexual beings, and if I want to have sex, I will - unprotected or not. If I winged up getting pregnant, ill have a fcking abortion. I really don't care. Life is too short for us, marginalized people, to be wrapped up in 'morals' that are determined by warped sexist homophobic Christian ideology. The only fault I'm going to blame are cis het whlte men, who historically apparently been proven to be the sole source of all our problems

@@propogandalf Don’t be dense. You understood what she meant. And you know what she’s so right! That’s so true. Women have to be ready to accept that truth. Sex is good but make better choices with it ! Not every guy you encounter or lust over has to end up in your bed. Be selective with it

My dad played a character for years before my mom had kids with him, then his abusive side came out as he felt he had trapped her. I don't know how any woman would ever know for sure what a man would be like as a father unless he already has kids with another woman

@@kf5338 your right. I hate to be brutal but i dont feel bad for single mothers who already had a chance to see how the man was as a father. If a man has kids he dont take care of that already shows how he is as a father. It was there choice to be a single mother. I only feel bad for the single mothers who didn’t know what they were getting there self into by having a kid with the man they had a kid with.

White cis het Christian men are always going to be deadbeats, or worse. Find anyone else, literally, if you want a kid. It saves you the chance of winding up producing yet another misogynistic whlte man in the world too.

Nope, if he’s are a deadbeat once he has had kids, then he was never a good man or even a man in general. I fully agree you should have a baby with a person that wants to be a father/mother, otherwise, why would you do that to the kid? That seems very selfish.

I never accept a man who doesn’t take care of his kids. That only shows how he would be a crappy father to yours if you choose to make some! Wake up people!!!

Huh???? What??? Lmaooo🥴🤔😄😁 how????

Then we need to ban Christianity and end capitalism

I don’t think it’s glamorized. Anyone who wants to be a single parent probably shouldn’t be having kids to begin with. I just think that the reality is that you don’t know how any partner will be as a parent until you have kids. There are many wolves in sheeps clothings. The reality is that life happens and sometimes it doesn’t happen the way you think it would, and you have to readjust. But I won’t bore you because I think you’re referring to the stereotypical single parent.

If a woman is established and just wants a child to raise so be it. If you are struggling already, bringing a baby into your nightmare isn’t a good move.

@@aaliyahbroadus4279 Yes. Nobody wants to hear about the exception story. We need to address the collective. The celebrities making that seem like a breeze. The stripper single mom, the average person dating, the everyday folks that just "worry about it later".

Abortion is a thing. As a trams-femme nonbinary demisexual who was assigned male at birth, I cannot bear children. I cannot become pregnant, but if I could, you bet your ass I would be having as many abortions as possible just to spite the misogynistic society we live in. I envy cisgender women in that way. Any (cis) 'man' who wants to tell you what to do with your bodies is not your friend - he views you as less than human, less than the parasite that grows in your womb. Have an abortion, dump that man, and if possible, take him for everything he's worth. It's HIS fault for putting you in this mess.

yeah she would say that as if women aren't thotting around town either its not just men . There are women running around town sleeping with every man they can find to get pregnant and get a bag why don't they get their tubes tied.

America is the most wasteful, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and Islamophobic place on earth, so I guess it isn't a surprise.

Good for those women 🤣

Every time you have sex you take that risk. Rich or not. No one is kidnapping these men and forcing them to do anything.

The guy can just - not have sex with - women he doesn’t want to have kids with…. I think I just solved this “trapping” problem for men. 😆

I understand some women do have the intention on getting pregnant by a rich man or a man that they want to keep but also men can USE CONDOMS or use other methods. I know condoms aren’t 100 protective but men should also be careful. Unless the woman drug them or something 🤷🏾‍♀️then we can only blame the woman

I don't see it :(

She wasn’t normalising she was humbling people and herself

You mean Jeanie!?

@@pinkstar9430 no Adrienne

Do you mean Garcelle?

@@MsDorcelus lol yes

how did he cheat on the kids? he cheated on you. and cheating doesn't mean he doesn't want to be a father.

@@wandavaughn3049 when you cheat, you cheat on the family. Cheating requires possible time spent with the children to be a dad was spent in hotel rooms and going on dates. It makes me sick men will spend hours and days away cheating when it could be used to be a better father. Resources that should be spent on the kids went to the next.

Your just generalizing all men think that way, calling it demonizing when it happens to women but it accountability for men…. How is that fair or equal? Both are equally capable of this behavior.

So very true.

Am sorry for such an experience. But if I may ask who raised you? They mighty have not planned it but they didn't try to avoid it either. If they never wanted you they would have aborted you and being successful as you say may have never existed. Atleast give them tge grace especially your mother those 9 months of being uncomfortable deserves recognition. But at the end of the day uts your choice. Am sure you don't have kids.

@Daphine... God raised me... I remember my mother never picking me up on time after school... 2-3 hours late was normal for me and no biggie... but one time she didn’t pick me up until 12 o clock at night... I was 5... yea she’s got abortions alright... probably like 3 of them... that goes to show you how less she values life... especially her kids... my dad was in on all of that too... so yes you’re right, I don’t have kids by choice... and because I had such horrible examples I will wait until I’m super successful financially and emotionally ready for that lifelong commitment if I ever decide to have kids in the future... but as far as the family I came from... that ship has sailed and sunken and I can only look onward and forward... im getting to the place where my mind is deleting all traces and rememberances of anyone that was ever in my past... and it’s sooo peaceful to press the delete button

@@thegoldenbowl5217 so sorry to hear that. Glad you are giving yourself time to heal completely. All the best Much love

@daphine...thanks sweetie ♥️ I feel like I've healed a huge chunk...I forgave my parents... But the damage was done and just like a tree branch that's been chainsawed off it's gonna take years for that thing to finally grow back... So thats where I'm at I'm growing back slowly...in peace ...and I'm actually really glad and happy 😊😁🙂....I'm alive and God is great ... Thanks for your warm wishes...I hope you have a great rest of your week 🙂♥️

Same! My son just turned 18 and has never seen me romantically involved with a man other than his dad. I had my own childhood trauma with stepdads so I didn’t want to take a chance.

exactly 💯 they ought to throw this one in the trash

@@nb4888 sorry to hear that. This is why sex Ed, consent and safety needs to be taught in class like they do in many EU countries. Unfortunately, it’s an uphill battle here with politics and religion even though many schools are supposed to be secular. But wow, you raised your son to adulthood, and made sure his safety was your #1 priority. I hope you’ve been healing too 💕

Also it would take me years of getting to know someone before I would be willing to have kids with them. I'd have to see them in all kinds of scenarios, see how they react when they're told no, get a good view of their character before I made that commitment. Like hell would I have a kid with someone without having a good idea of how they'll be with the child. So I'm supposed to not sleep with anyone without dating them for years first? Jeannie's advice (to make sure you'd be comfortable having kids with someone before you sleep with them) is just not practical.

I wish I lived were you did, because it sounds awfully progressive. FYI, I am a trans-femme nonbinary demisexual who was assigned male at birth (so I cannot bear children). That being said, being a minority, I understand full-well the plight of my fellow minorities. I unfortunately live in the USA, which is known for being hands-down THE WORST place to live on the planet for anyone who isn't a cisgnered heterosexual whlte male Christian. I WISH for the day our conservative Republican party can be dissolved for their crimes against humanity and the banning of Christianity which could potentially lead to literal world peace.

You’re right about that. As a man, I was extra careful with every sexual encounter, not hard since I was a child of the 80s.