I think the main problem with Therapy is trying to find a good Therapist, and the money you will spend trying to find one. I've never understood how 'depressed' people, who may not be working, are supposed to afford good therapy when some charge extortionate amounts - maybe they only want to attract a certain class of client? You may say there is 'free' therapy on the NHS, but this is likely to be the CBT 'quick fix' kind, and you will have to take what you are offered. In my very humble opinion, it takes time to trust and feel comfortable with a complete stranger (Therapist) in order to let yourself be completely vulnerable. In fact, traumatised people ARE vulnerable, and in the hands of a bad therapist, can be re-traumatised, ending up worse than they started, both emotionally, financially and with more trust issues. Some can see the Therapist as some kind of God, and for this very reason, the wrong kind of people are attracted to the profession. The so-called Therapeutic relationship can be yet another abusive relationship for vulnerable people. Who is there in the room with you to protect you from this? Yes, we have to learn to protect ourselves from abusive relationships, but if the Therapist is abusive, then what? I'm thinking the subject of abusive, toxic therapists is taboo, but toxic people live and work in all professions, and Therapy is no different. I don't know what the answer is, but there must be a better way to help vulnerable people in a safe way.
My therapy messed me up. She didn't understand that I was disassociated, was numb and that I couldn't access or process my feelings She said it was okay to be angry, and so I released anger all of the time, and not all of my other emotions. Had I known I would have handled a lot more situations powerfully and authentically and not from fear and rage, the very emotion that numbed me as a child that came ftom my family. I left, and now in daily prayer am counselled and guided in a calm, connected, present and abundant state of being. I had to undo 2 years of bad therapy that really messed me up.. badly.
I had therapy for 2.5 years with a fantastic therapist in Bath. I could have gone on forever to be honest, and only very recently stopped. The reason was one you mentioned in your video. The goal was to learn to meet my own needs, and whilst she would have continued to be very helpful, I realised that I was relying on her too much and needed to brave it on my own. So I guess I would say that one of the downsides of therapy could be the reliance on the therapist, which might stop you from helping yourself. For me, I think I could have easily just taken the 'easier' option and carried on.
Every time I tried a new therapist, I really wanted to be heard. I told the horrific things that happened from my childhood and marriage. Some therapists just sat there trying to look like they want to be there. Some tried to only focus on my marriage even though I said I already tried marriage therapy. with my partner. The last one felt like I was entertaining her. She said “Whatcha got?!” They all agreed I have severe traumas but none did anything to help other than the stupid Think Positive, Go out and do things, Use Grounding Techniques. Those things aren’t one size fits all. Anyway; I tried one more time a few months ago. She wanted me to do some eye movement thing. I found it on RU-vid and tried it. Stupidity. At least it is to me. I’m my own therapist and have been doing better by learning about myself to adapt better in society and life in general.
I had a therapist that just fell asleep ( of course he said he had not ) I told him I had trust issues and that I had met someone who was pushing for sex but I had a gut feeling not to trust him ..my Therapist just said "well you have to trust someone someday " I took his words and a few week later I told him I was pregnant ..his jaw dropped ..I said well you told me to trust .looking back I was so messed up .I kept my baby and brought him up alone .words are powerful and especially when a client is confused .
In a good therapeutic relationship, the patient feels safe and grows internally. Depending on the person and the problem, this can take more or less time. Over time, however, the patient feels stronger and can apply and live what he has learnt in relationships outside of therapy. As a result, the need for endless therapy disappears.
Feeling manipulated--my wonderful (really!) therapist uses the trappings of friendship to break in, but in reality is not my friend and will never be. When you have attachment wounds, this is tough.
The only bad therapist I had was the one who was an anti vaxxer during the pandemic. She wasn't allowed to come to work, government mandate, thus letting people down, abandonment. Her real problem was she would never admit to doing anything wrong. Greetings from Australia. My problem was holding back in getting angry with her for fear of losing her.
