@@Keara23 hell yes we can just i did 2 days ago after almost 2 years of relationship ,that's not love when hit u for not reason, that was my Christmas present
I'm a guy and I was in an abusive relationship with another guy. It was a mixture of mental and physical abuse. 2 years back I finally took my stand and left. Now I can breathe freely. YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOUR STAND FOR YOURSELF. You're precious soul not a punching bag.
@@amoy5657 watch the video. That's what abusers do. They draw you in, they act like they love you and when the cracks start to show they blame you. And then they punish you before making you feel it is all your fault. When you say enough is enough and try to stand up to them they swear it'll never happen again. Maybe they mean it, maybe they don't - who knows? But if it happened once it'll probably happen again. A lot of abusive partners are very good at hiding their behaviour and are good at manipulating people. Sad fact is you probably can't avoid it - abusers behave like everyone else, until they don't that is. If someone raises their hand to you just leave and don't look back. That's how you avoid this. I've worked in healthcare a long time and fortunately it's not too often I've had a domestic abuse case. But when we do have a case it breaks my heart, the victim always blames themselves for their partner's actions, its just awful. Most are convinced things will change which is sad, but worse is when they're so used to it they believe its normal and acceptable - its never acceptable. Whilst you can't tell who will turn out abusive before they become abusive, the moment they do the victim needs to get out of that situation - if you're injured get to an ED, if you're not get to a friend's, family member's or go to the police. Don't stay, and again, don't go back.
The first time someone hits you, go directly to the police, while you're still bruised and/or bleeding, and tell them exactly what happened. You'll be doing yourself and the person who hit you a favor.
My mother's family tried that, they always just sent them right back. The military police never intervened, my grandmother turned to alcohol to numb it all eventually taking off. She was never the same even after it ended though, and then her kids took the brunt of the abuse once she left. It's harder then it seems when a system doesn't want to acknowledge there own might be sad sacks of crap.
I have been asking for a refund and I will be there in the morning so I can you in my life and I don't know what time I get there are pointers to go to bed now but will do it again and again
@@grahambinho The reality of an abusive relationship is horrible. Most people make excuses for the abuse and even try and blame themselves. But the only way it stops is when the victim leaves the abuser, or the victim ends up in the mortuary.
Jassmina Vellucciano Everyone assumes it’s all sunshine and rainbows all the time. Most of the time it is, but there’s always the abusive relationships.’abuse in relationships does happen, LGBTQ or not.
I definitely agree. I had a cousin who married a man, and his " wife" was bigger and stronger than my small cousin. He would beat on my cousin and cheat on him. Never once tried to act like a "wife". Was just a big bully. And one day my cousin FINALLY left him.
I love my man too much I can’t leave. yes it’s a toxic relationship but I can’t leave him. we have been thru so much bullshit over the past 12 years and he’s sacrificed so much for me.
1GoldRunner I am man n he is man, too. There are possibilities if one has relationship with an abuser; first, he just accepts because he really love him. Second, he will enjoy being abused (become a masochist person) that his sex appeal raises by the abusive behaviour. Third, he will fought back though he really loves him. I chose the third option.
I was in a verbal and emotional abusive relationship, for four years, and I knew that it was only a matter of time, before he hit me. And the first time he hit me, was the last time he hit me. I left him, and that was 6 years ago. I have no regrets.
@eldadevata I would have, except that I was working part time, and didn't earn enough to leave. Luckily, I got a better paying job, which was when I was able to FINALLY leave him.
The sad thing is that the abuser never think they are wrong. I was in an abusive relationship for 2 years. Everytime it gets physical, the only justification he gave is that he didn't mean it that he love me. He apologized all over again. And for the longest time I thought his issues was only alcoholism. After 2 broken ribs i don't think that's the only his issues. I knew I should walk away. But I just couldn't. Our relationship ended because he found someone new. Maybe that's the help sent by the higher power that I just needed.
@@zanthus7 I didn't. We live in a country where homosexuality is a crime. Telling people about it is not an option for me. I wasn't even out to my family.
@@grujose551 Damn. I am so sorry that you live in a place like that but overjoyed that your abuser is out of your life. Just know your abuser will regret what he did to you and others. I'm sure you're not the only one he's done this to. I believe you can't mistreat people like this and your life is blissful. Karma is real and all the bad karma he's thrown out will come back to him, hard.
Why would you let someone do such horrendous things to you my friend? Love???? A person who loves you would never harm you in any ways. It's sad that you invested those two years in an abusive and parasitic bondage. Please don't call it love.
i was with someone for a year, i'm not with them anymore but i still do not speak about what happened between us and how we broke up to anyone to this day. abuse leaves physical scars and more psychological scars. more power to all the people out there dealing with this. i hope you find the power to stand up and leave. love.
To the people saying leave, I wish it were that easy. If it was, I wouldn't have lived through 9 months of hell. Abusers often progressively brainwash their partners, slowly feeding them information and making them dependent, making them believe the abuser is never to blame. This is demonstrated amazingly through Dom making excuses and staying with Isaac after he got physically abused, because he had already been emotionally abused and felt he couldn't leave. By the time physical abuse happens, the person being abused is often too brainwashed to just leave. The show did brilliantly to display the emotions involved behind the scenes and between the person being abused and their friends and family - denial, blindly defending their abusive partner, cutting off anyone who tries to help because it's impossible to accept the truth when being told something else constantly by your abuser, until an extreme event like Dom's serious injuries causes clarity and the person finally realises how bad what is being done to them is.
This is so deep :( I love Dom and watching this unfold broke my heart I'm so glad that he finally got himself out of the abusive relationship. Well done with the editing its very well done especially with the quotes that are said.
People do not change my step father would abuse me. He would beat me up so bad that I couldn't go to school for weeks at a time. Things where different back then police didn't get involved like they do now. I left home at 16 because I had worked out a plan to kill him. I told my mom if I didn't get away from him I would shoot him . She said you don't mean that and I turn her around looked her straight in the eye and said I do mean it and I have the gun. I guess she believed me then because she helped me find a place of my own.
@@fauzirahimpohan3130 I really don't know why.. She was going through some stuff because my dad had been killed a few months before. She was afraid she couldn't make it on her own I guess. It only happened when she wasn't there. When they first got together it wasn't like that but once they had a baby together things changed.
Parents need to raise their kids to know that someone putting their hands on them is NEVER okay. if anyone did this to me I would leave them in an instant.
Some of the best acting I've ever seen on the show. I love Marc Elliott and David Ames. Excited to see Isaac back soon, because the acting will be incredible.
I can't imagine what I would do if I found out someone I loved was in a situation like this. I do actually, I'd do anything to make sure that person never has a chance to hurt them again.
I love this song. It is so perfect for those that do the beatings. They need to REALLY listen to this song. Hopefully, it would make them understand the pain that they inflect on those that love them.
It is easy to say leave, but when your in this relationship it's hard to see the gravity of it. You make excuses and think that things will get better if you improve.
Cathy Ur right we always say things will get better but they never do and the Excuses people come up with is drugs Alcohol bad day money stress or work
Abuse is not just about being hit (even in some abusive relationships there are no physical hits). Abuse can also be psychological, and it is the most serious, because it undermines your self-esteem, your sanity, your person. The fact that he isolates you from your people, that he doesn't let you work or that he lives at your expense without contributing anything, that he imposes on you what you should do, behave, how to dress, that after a fight or not doing what that person wants you apply the silent treatment (it consists of stopping talking and ignoring the person for a prolonged period of time), that one day they treat you wonderfully and the next they ignore you and even treat you badly, that they compare you with other people, be unfaithful and on top of that blame you... And that often precedes physical abuse.
So many parallels to being with an addict With a physical abuser you can see the scars and the wounds, with someone who is an addict it isn’t always that easy but it hurts just the same
I had a relationship like this many years ago, and I was his punch bag for quite some time, until I woke up one morning and said enough is enough, and I never went back, I think I was the lucky one to escape, I said then, I'd never let another man hit or knock me about, so I do feel sorry for other guys in same sex relationships that are too nice to leave, you think every time they cry and say sorry that he'll change, but I promise u this, they never will and you gotta protect yourself, be safe peeps, whoever u are, and be strong, you deserve better!!
The best apology a person can make is a corrected behavior..... Abusers never.. ever figure that out. They never change, they don't even see a reason to. 💔
Thirty years later I still bear the handprints on my upper arms. Sometimes I still flinch. It's not easy getting out. It's not easy to stay. I've worked on most of the inner scars left from that time in my life. The memories don't haunt me like they used to. I've had healthy relationships since. I'm grateful. I can't judge anyone in an abusive situation. I can't tell anyone what to do. I can offer to tell of my experiences, how I left, and where I am now.
@@VideosOfRandomContext as someone who grew up in an abusive household, you'll be doing the kids a favour by separating. No one deserves to live like that
That's what you think, it's not always that easy. My mother had been abused through childhood, so when it happened with her first husband who had taken her away from that abusive home she took it. Almost as if it was an obligation because he "saved" her. She eventually left, but because of certain circumstances he got the kids. The abuse at least emotional did not stop even after divorce, he took off with the kids and it took decades to find them again. For some it is just a continuation of a cycle they started at birth, so why fight it.
@@JellyBabie1984 he said 'the very first time'. Its much easier to leave when you notice abuse so early. Its more difficult to walk out when you let him/her abuse you over and over. I think one should make a boundary like in a relationship if the partner hit him/her then its finished. Many people tolerate this for love but its just getting worse and the longer it goes the more unlikely to break up.
this video really hits home for me sadly, outsiders always say just run, if only it was that easy, fear will keep you from running. it's a horrible part of life unfortunately some unworthy people must go thru because there to nice or just to passive to say no, that's why the stronger of us must stand up and defend the weaker ones. no one deserves to be abused for any reason, they don't ask for it to happen to them. usually it's a moment of desperation to feel human contact from anyone.It is human nature to feel the need to have some kind of human interaction to give us a purpose to continue our journey thru life.
Wow! Thanks for putting this together. The Holby City writers did a great job with this abuse storyline and the actors were superb. I hope the message got across to persons in abusive situations.
This is the first I've seen of this storyline of Dominic being a victim of an abuser. It looks good but I'm glad I did not watch this from the beginning of their relationship to Dominic reporting him after being beaten. Too emotional for me and I would have been screaming at the monitor while watching this. Obviously, this is a subject the show felt needed to be addressed. My advice, the first time you get a half of an idea/suspicion your partner may become violent with you, end that relationship faster than you can say your own name. Then talk to the police about him/her but keep in mind the police can't do anything because no physical harm has happened and they have to react to an action, not be proactive. After you’ve talked to the police and gotten their advice, tell this partner so they know the police has their name, number, and know where they live and work if anything happens to you. This should be guarantee you need to make certain they will not bother you anymore when you end the relationship. One of the absolute worse things a victim of an abuser can do is stay silent about what's happening. Keeping you silent is part of their control. Say hell no to that shit. If someone is threatening you or causing you physical or emotional harm, let the world know about it. Silence is your enemy.
I know you are referring to all kind of relationship. But for gays, atleast in my country where homosexuality is a crime, going to the police isn't even an option.
This is extremely well done. It has also brought out feelings I don’t want to deal with right now. I have never been physically abused but have been significantly emotionally abused.
I have been in a abusive relationship myself when I was younger. And I was scared and Ashamed that I allowed it to happen to me. But through the strength of friends n myself I was able to leave with nothing then bad memories. And the strength to not allow it to happen to me again.
A violant person will use every method to keep its prey captive both physically and mentally. The victim, if not strong enough will power, will be submissive and ultimately co-dependant to this unhealthy relationship. No one deserves that kind of love.
love is such a bad excuse, people say " I love you" they put themselves in the first place, it's not "you are loved by me", the only place he should be is JAIL
A friend of mine went through this with his now ex-boyfriend three years ago. The ex beat him so bad my friend had 5 broken ribs, a cracked jaw, 3 teeth knocked out, two black eyes, a hairline fracture on the left side of his skull, a broken arm and a broken wrist along with a broken ankle. The ex-boyfriend got 20 years in prison for the assault and another 25 years for attempted murder.
@@lukedonghyuk.3959 please seek for help. Nothing angers me more than seeing innocent souls suffer at the hands of abusers... I hope and pray that you find your soulmate. And believe me, the universe would never punish you with an abusive partner. You're NOT an abusive person. So I don't see why you should have to put yourself through all this pain. And yes, I know it's more complicated that it seems. I know that you're scared. I know that you secretly hope and pray that he will change. But my dear, if you don't choose YOU, if you don't prioritise YOURSELF and your own well-being, this vicious cycle will keep going on and on non-stop. Give yourself the love that you're trying so hard to give to him. YOUR LIFE MATTERS. YOUR mental health and safety matter. YOU deserve to be treated with respect, dignity, compassion, love and affection. Please take action RIGHT NOW. You WILL get over him no matter how many days, weeks, or months it will take. I promise you that there's someone out there looking forward to treat you like the king that you are. So please make the right choice.🙏🏽
MkL Official you honestly have no idea how hard is it your acting as if I can just suddenly pack my bags and walk out of his life and move on. sorry to break it to you but it’s harder then you think you make it sound so easy. You just can’t leave someone you love every time I try it hurts me- Ik I sound so stupid bc he’s abusive but I just can’t leave. he loves me too much and seeing him sad makes me so sad I don’t want that for him no one can help at this point I just feel so empty and sad.
If your partner beats you, it's not love !! Please leave before it ll be too late, I know It can be hard sometimes but please please please never let someone hurt, insult, beat u
There are several options: You can have your partner legally evicted by having him or her served with an eviction order. The only thing is that it will cost you money to have him or her served. And it would be best that you stay with family or friends until he or she leaves. Other option is to have a family member scare them into moving out. My nephew did that and the next day, my boyfriend moved out. And that was a year ago.
I've been tied up, beaten up, bruised from my head to my feet & urinated on to the point I believed I was nothing more than garbage . I would completely shut down, not able to think or move . I use to think I deserved it but not any more . At some point you have to stand up or lay down & die . I chose to stand up & believe in God's unconditional love for me . God gave me the courage & strength to get out & move on one day at a time . 💔🧡💛💚💙💜
Someone I love is in an abusive relationship. I have done everything but he won't leave, am scared he's gonna get really hurt, I will loose him. Am freaking out just thinking about it
It’s called Stockholm’s syndrome that’s why we stay we feel like we can’t leave because we love them and our heart tear open at the thought of being without them, we feel trapped like a prisoner we don’t want them to be in-trouble because we think it’s our fault, that’s why we don’t leave we truly feel we can’t no matter how many times us it’s bad for us at the end of the day we know we just don’t wanna believe it. - by me someone who was in an physical mental abusive relationship 🥺
The thing is abusers purposely seek people who can't defend themselves physically and mentally. It easy to say to get out of it when you're not in it. The best thing we can do is to look out for each other, either a family member, friend, or even a stranger. Who knows you might save a life.
There is physical abuse and psychological abuse. It is complex in a relationship. It can gradually escalate and you can sort of be lost in the process and not realize that you are getting into trouble. Often you feel some responsibility for what is happening and can't break away. It helps if those close to you that can see what is happening step in, maybe like an intervention to help the abused finally feel safe enough to act.
Es una lástima la violencia que existe en la comunidad. Yo hace un tiempo conocí un militar que empezó todo chévere me prometió amor, cariño y respeto y luego se volvió un infierno porque empezó agredirme de todas las formas, hoy puedo decir que soy un sobreviviente pero las cicatrices siguen ahí en el cuerpo y en el alma.
