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After 9 months of mixed signals. I'm now with a man who shows me and tells me everyday how much he wants to be with me. Don't settle for mixed signals. You all deserve better
honey, you're still loosing the game that way. You are worth more, but you have to be willing to face the truth. The truth is that you dont need to wonder if you ever mattered to the men in your past. Just assume you didnt. So now just be the queen you are, who knows your worth. Now play the game like YOUre the price, and see which guy proves he has found the treasure in you, not the other way around - you always seeing them as the price and hoping you'll win them over. When a man does see you are the price, without you truying to show it, be open to him, but make him prove it every single time, that he has not forgotten that you are the price. That's how you win. Not by quitting but changing the rules.
I see your point. I feel the exact same thing, but I'm a man! I'm tired of not being able to say what I want and needing to pretend to be something that I'm not in order to get women's attention, that's what pick-up is, in my opinion. Men are behaving the way they do (these 4 scenarios) because oderwise they won't get any results with women they like and want to be in a relationship with.
@@forblianonym9642 How do you know this person didn't cheat and lie to men for their time and money? How do know you this man or woman's (you can't really guess the gender) worth? Is this your close friend?
@@summerscents8284 Us men also have problems in this area. Women send out mixed signals for different reasons: insecurity, flirting for the sake of flirting, just flirting for the ego-boost... If women send mixed signals, then men may respond by doing the same.
If I start feeling he's pulling away, I let him loose without drama. I have too many things going on in my life to engage in. I don't even need closure, if he's the one, he will realize it soon and if not, we're not meant to be.
@@sfwatxyo2162 yes darling,high self esteem....you see,some guys know they don't wanna be with you for whatsoever reasons best known to them. They'd rather lead you on,making you feel like you always doing something wrong,or even worse making you feel like you're not enough. It would be easier if they just man up and tell you the truth so you can move on with your life,but they'd rather play games. I'm just 22 and I believe there's more to life and living than being with a man,worst, a man that toys with your mental health,I'd rather focus on getting my college degree,a good job or jobs,make money and enjoy the best things of life. It's best for we women to learn to value our selves, know our self worth and don't settle for less. I do believe a man who truly loves you will locate you and wanna be with you and he won't give any room for doubt. He's so sure it's YOU he wants😌😌😌
@@carolynololade4126 I was replying to Emma C, but kudos to you too young lady! I taught my adult daughter the same things and it's worked out very well for her. Good luck in your life pursuits.
My new motto: Mixed signals = Ignore him. You wouldn't even believe the heartless blood sacrifice that I just went through, and the worst part is that he doesn't even give a shit about what he's done. To me, that's really abusive. I learned that abusers are never happy.
I know what you mean. Hang in there there has to be someone out there out of all these millions of men or women out in the world, there is someone out there. Love, Light, Healing, and Higher Conscious to you.
Yeah, same here. A true arsehole, he doesn't care about what he's done and moved on in barely 2 weeks. It's still very painful even if it happened almost a year ago. I am now very reluctant to date again, as I tend to attract liars and narcissistic men.
@@alvillynalthae Same. Its nearly like half a year for me though, and the pain is soo painful and fresh, doubt it will go anywhere far in a year. Somehow I got a breakdown when (the emotional buildup and how) he broke up with me, and still feeling the actual afteraffects. I try to be nice but I never attract any decent people in my life in the longrun so far zero.
Exactly right. As soon as you assert what you want and need they'll swipe right and find the next girl on tinder who they can then tear apart and point out flaws in, like they are something special...disposable culture makes it nearly impossible to find any guy who is actually worth the time of day. They want what they want and that's it. They don't care what you want. Entitled, spoiled brats who think they are all worthy of the 10's when they are 3's.
Infuriating. And, especially during Covid - - I feel like I inadvertently made myself like a little fish in a barrel. I mean, who wouldn’t want to snuggle up to the very someone you’ve looked upon as a dear friend? And he was! And he IS!! But, you know what? I have to teach myself - - I mean really download this new program like a genius AI - - : The answer is NO. Boy, NO. Not even during times of the Black Death will I let myself be used in this sneaky, nonchalant manner. It feels like he’s trying to reach in and kill my very spirit. His presence helps me to redefine my code of independence. And I don’t intend for that code to be: SOS.
Stop thinking about what men think or want to do. Act based on what YOU want, from life, not from people. Understand that every single relationship will bring an amount of disappointment because people are FLAWED, so are you. Focus on living a life that fulfills you in which relationships are not essential to feel satisfied. Edit: thank you for the lovely replies and likes!
Here's some advice for men that can save both parties a lot of heartache: JUST BE FREAKIN HONEST!! Instead of living in fear of hurting us just tell us you're not interested so we can keep it moving. Why is this so hard for men to understand? Treat us the way you would want to be treated. That's literally it.
1)Not interested enough to continue but feels guilty to finish with you 2) wants to be friends with benefits. Afraid that he’ll fall for you if he comes too close 3) he wants the girlfriend experience..... not willing to pay the price of a relationship though Mixed signals when talking about commitment 4) never makes a move- just flirty
My ex..combined all of these signals and I lived our "relationship 'questioning and analyzing it by myself because he never had the "time" to answer my questions. He was too busy hunting "the girls he liked". Imagine, he told me that the girls he likes refusing him and that's why he is back to me, he feels that he is stuck with me. 😏 And I spent 1 year glorifying him for his moves in bed and totally ignoring his manipulative rude behavior outside the bedroom. This is when I didn't love myself.
Yep. If he's not into you, social distancing will make it obvious. If he is into you, he will actually message you and be concerned for you. I figured this out this way. A lot of questions are being answered now!
6 weeks of being ghosted, over him now. Got my power back and my sanity. I would rather be alone than go through such emotional trauma again. It taught me a big lesson, love yourself first and then you will attract the right person. Am working on that big time. I wish we could all just get on instead of insecure game playing.
Is horrible when they disappear after intimacy I know exactly . I've been having a very nice time with this guy it's a friend with benefits situation but yes after intimacy there's definitely a period when he goes quiet and pops back up again. It's horrible when they just disappear
Trust your own gut feelings. When blinded by ‘love’ we block our own instincts and choose to ignore bad behavior.. At the first few signs of mistreatment, summon all your strength and self respect and walk away! It will be painful for a short while but you will feel better about yourself in the long run. There are good ones out there, just keep trying again and again and don’t give up.
If that was the case then men & women won't be able to even fall in relationship at first place coz tell me one women who has to some extent not insulted a guy when he first approached a women.
I'd rather be alone and happy, than to be in a relationship and miserable. My dog and cat give me all the love I need, Unconditional, loyal..real love.
It really is the purest hell to be in a relationship or wanna be relationship that makes you overthink and overthink and be miserable and sad .my bird gives me enough love 🤪
I turn 42 next month and with the guy who wants the girlfriend experience. Its been almost 2 years off this wishy washy crap. I'm so pissed I have got to muster the strength to leave
Reality is its super hard for our ego to face the truth. We know the person doesnt really want us but it triggers a deep unresolved wound that needs healing. 1. Accept they are just using you for there own ego boosting agenda, they are wounded too. 2. Feel the pain of the rejection and seek to understand it, this leads to healing. 3. Love yourself!! 4. Accept love when it arrives, cause it will!!
A guy tried something similar with me in March, we were seeing each other and talked a lot and he said he liked me but didn't want any ''labels'' I knew what he meant by that and I know what I want so I just told him well, then this is obviously not going to work. He tried and tried to get with me but I'm not going to lower my standards for anyone so I ended up walking away and I don't care if that makes me look selfish, I just wished him all the best and hoped he would find a girl who wants the same thing he wants, but I know I want a stable relationship!
A guy in college send me mixed signals for months and it was obvious that there was chemistry between us, that we liked each other. People asked me what was going on between us and I firstly denied my feelings for him because it scared me how strongly I was falling for him considering the mixed signals he was sending. But I could never answer those questions because I didn't understand why he wasn't just going for it if it was that obvious that he liked me. He treated me differently than other girls. He was more attentive towards me, affectionate even. Those unspoken feelings inside of me were crushing me, leaving me breathless. So I decided to show some balls, go to him and just tell him how I feel. Turns out he is in a relationship for 4 years. Surprise! The same sentence he told me he's taken, he also said that their relationship isn't going well. Low key giving me hope that maybe there's a chance for us. That was the last piece of the puzzle. Later I found out he even made sure bribing our friends so they won't mention her or tell me she even existed. I was the only one not knowing. That's just sick.
Girl I get it. I’ve had strong feelings for a guy for a long time, but he saw me again after he’s been in a relationship for 9 months. I think he’s conflicted on what to do. But I don’t want to be second fiddle to anyone
Same thing happened to me for two years. I was led on, given mixed signals, and my feelings encouraged by *olker. Other people in the department hinted to me that I was "special " to him. One day, I found out that he'd gotten married to another woman, and other people knew it. But, no one told me. I had my heart broken and my hopes dashed. I was made a fool of. It was a sick game.
About three years ago I worked with a guy - we worked on the same floor but different departments - and he started staring at me like almost all the time and intense staring. When we’d see each other in the coffee room he’d talk to me. This went on for four months when I found out from someone in my department that he not only was dating someone but his gf worked on the same floor as well - right down the aisle from me. I had no idea! I ignored him after that and he’d keep staring at me. He didn’t know what I had found out. Then it got wires after I sent him an email asking him why he kept staring at me and that he needed to stop. He obviously blabbed to many people about it and it became a nightmare. His friends were now staring at me in a making gun of me type of way. I had to go to HR and was basically told to handle it myself. It was terrible. Luckily Covid hit a couple of months later and we’ve been working from home. Ladies: You only know if a man is interested in you if he’s asking you out and spending quality time with you. Otherwise forget him and live on! There’s no hit and cold when a man wants to date you.
Mixed signals can also be a result of low self esteem and/or traumatic experiences with women. I don't automatically assume a guy is using me, although it is very possible. He could simply be afraid because of past experiences.
Automatically assume he's using you. Because that WILL help the rest of us. And if he's afraid because of past experiences. Why did he feel so comfortable to get to ( know) you in the 1st place
Recently, the guy I’ve been talking to for 3 months just been very distant. Thank you for this video. I believe in everything you said. No such thing as mixed signals. Either they want me or they don’t. No amount of effort from my part will make a man who just isn’t interested in me to want me. I have come to terms that this wasn’t for me. So I moving on, I don’t want to waste time on people who can’t see my potential ever again. I’m worthy of a good relationship no time to settle for less. Thanks to this pandemic, I now know I don’t want to waste my time on people who don’t genuinely care for me.
I have spent 6 years with the 3rd type of men described...When you leave them they beg you to come back and send you tons of sweet words and promises, that they have overcame their blockages, have changed and are ready to commit...but they're not and you're stuck in the same "going nowhere relationship" again. I have wasted so much time with him that I'm now at an age I don't even know if I can ever build my own family...Be careful girls, you can truly waste your life by being too tolerant with those kind of men...Always LOVE YOURSELF FIRST.
I LOVED the 'girlfriend experience' category, the most dangerous one.~ Lived this. I kept saying, "your actions DO NOT back up your words." I called it early on.
I needed to hear this. Thank you! "Romantic relationship is only worth your time if your boyfriend would consider it a major loss if you would leave him, because there is nowhere else he would rather be than with you."
Sounds kind of codependent and not necessarily healthy, like you are his only source of pleasure. Mind you, I haven't watched this video again so maybe I missed something
@@thecurrentmoment The nuance is not that a woman is his "only" source of pleasure, but that his preference for being with her(in a monogamous relationship) creates the priority. It's a subtle but important distinction.
Maybe what you think is codependent is true love and until two people experience it at the same time. Only the two will know the feeling. A husband can be a source of happiness to his wife. Don’t over analyze love.
@@jasminesorchids9598 it's really co-creative embrace, divine union, and sacred communion, isn't it though? Co-dependency is a trauma response based on not having a stable source connection within(usually from early childhood neglect) and then needing to source your energy and validation from an external source. However, even as stable and balanced humans, we are by design dependant on each other... Our community, natural resources, friendship, relationship, etc... It is the sacred balance of life... We are to be whole within ourselves and part of something larger than ourselves and celebrate that all in love and unison. Atleast that's how I see it ;-)
I don't 'do' relationships anymore. I don't even think men and women are meant to be in relationships beyond having sex for recreation and babies. We are tribal and we still operate in that way at a deep level. Having men as friends is another one I question. Eventually, they all want to get in your pants and if you don't do it...well we all know that the majority of rape victims were raped by a family member or male friend. Unless they are much much older and wiser, men as friends is just an invitation to get hassled for sex again...unless they are gay. I love my gay male friends.
I have a “platonic” friend of many years that suddenly can’t keep his hands off me. All warm and snuggly, a darling in his every gesture. As if he wanted it recorded for posterity. Then DISAPPEARS. Like a covert submarine mission. I’ve just reached the point where I realize I must be some kind of Covid insulation contact. This broke me like a tense Japanese vase. It broke my heart. There better be gold between the pieces.
Seriously , I'm 55 and we had no swipe generation. It truly felt this simple way in the 80s of we like each other , simple then we go out and it's all good from there. Today everything feels so complicated. Thankyou for all your helpful videos , they make alot of sense x
@Pauline Thorn : I'm the same as you, before the 'swipe' generation of internet shopping dating. This generation have become self-entitled and want everything now, without putting in effort to get to know people properly, nor wait for it without getting bored, so quickly moving on to 'next.' They have so many flat superficial options to choose from as they are just, frankly, shallow and all about how things 'look,' and not how they 'feel.' Due, of course, to the majority of men being addicted to porn, so the 'ram syndrome' of clicking through 'doing' all the herd and exhausting themselves with no connection. There's no depth in the internet so men have become even more about just looks. If you attempt to show them you have a personality and feelings, they are not interested. They only want a 'Stepford Wife' that does what they want and looks good, without them putting in any effort or sharing themselves and who they are inside with you at all. A sad situation. Much Love, Anita xx
It is much more complicated these days. The reason being is the dating arena has changed so much because it’s filled with a lot of people - - not all thankfully - - they just want to see what they can get both men and women. Unfortunately our society has become very shallow and doesn’t value long-term relationships anymore doesn’t value commitment anymore… it’s sad
Best "strategy" without being a strategy: No resentments, just leave the mixed signallers behind, live your life, love it and enjoy. Who is supposed to be by your side will show it one day when he's / she's ready.
Oh, if only I had seen this sooner! I'm honestly feeling so free now. I cannot even tell you how much time, energy, and emotions I have wasted on analyzing guys' mixed signals. Now, I will absolutely just assume that a guy who sends mixed signals is just not that into me and move on with my life. Thanks for helping me to have this realization.
Am amazed to see comments my dear, bcz same thing happened to every girl, some men didnt even realize that what they did to human beings,they are so insensitive after traumatize to womens they even not feel guilty and said there is nothing to about them, really if they doesnt like women then why they follow and show love , care juat sick of these types of guys
Thanks for this. This describes what I been going through. I'm talking to a nice man now, he is 46 and a career police officer of 22 years. He is sweet and handsome but i think it's time to stop calling. I think he just wants to be friends with benefits and I don't want that. I posted a scenario between us in a relationship group and everyone said I should leave him alone. I'm starting to face the facts and do it even though I really like him.
The only way i found out the salary of my " boyfriend" was realizing no stimulus check. THis is after 4 plus years. hmmmmmmm and complained he couldnt afford a ticket to go with me to see my family in Hawaii
After years of a single life, a guy who I felt was interested in me for quite some time finally made a move. Though he had recently gotten out of an abusive and toxic relationship (guys are abused too), he seemed desperately passionate. No matter the overall sweetness and surface fun, every intimate moment was a disaster. He was getting triggered and afraid of physical intimacy. If I hadn't recognized PTSD symptoms in his behaviour I wouldn't have stayed another second. But after a few months, he stopped trying entirely and isolated himself, and I was left heartbroken and in the cold. Instead of a girlfriend, I became a nurse. He was avoidant and addicted to my care and tenderness at the same time. I guess he had a good reason for sending mixed feelings, but I honestly think the best thing to do was get him to a psychiatrist and stay friends.
OMG that's exactly what I've been saying. The maths are pretty simple but people like complicating their lives. If you are wondering if he's into you or not, then he's not.
The 3rd type of guy you talked about, i have been with one just like what you said for 6 years. I realised it after 6 years that he will never marry me. All my friends, his friends, my family knew that we are dating for years and we were really happy together, but yes, every time I talked about our future together he was exactly like 'why we have to decide what's going to happen, aren’t you happy right now?' and i was. I loved him like crazy, i still love him. And I wish i never loved him or met him. Because when I see my friends getting married with their loved ones after being a relationship for 2-3years and I was loyal for 6 years and it didn't lead anywhere, it breaks my heart everytime 😞😞
@@louisaklimentos7583 thank you. after this relationship, now i feel scared of getting close to someone, anyone who tries, i push them away. we broke up recently, he didnt even want to break up, but he clearly told he won't marry me, so i broke up with him. but i feel i wilk never get over it.
I met a guy just like Brian described. After seeing one another for 8 months, he invited me to dinner at his place and put a Coldplay concert (maybe to me be "relaxed") and certainly started to talk about: look, you are amazing, you are every man's dream but, you deserve so much better. I'll be out of town soon and I won't be able to stay here and having a long distance relationship. You will find a terrific man and you'll be happy... a year later, he was texting me again saying that he still was in town and then said: can we just be friends with benefits? What is wrong with men? I mean, I know most of women are complicated but Gosh, I am not that prototype of the regular woman, and yet, I wasn't good enough to have a relationship. This is why I've been single for almost a decade.
I'm trying to completely break away from a no.3 guy. I know the truth. Tho' he denies but his attitude says it all. He keeps wriggling away from commitment yet makes it seem so normal. Avoids discussions and actions for the future. Our 2 mutual friends that we started our relationship before,are all married. They keep looking at me and I know even his family will be wondering. I'm so sad because I assumed he was gonna be different , as I met him thru mutual friends. Instead, he has turned out to be my worst nightmare. Wish I could get an honest closure. This pains like hell .
This video LITERALLY saved me. There was this surgeon I met ( am a Dr ) that had ALL THE LISTS OF HIGH VALUE INTERESTED MAN. He pursued me, respected me, said and did all the right things... And I mean ALL the right things you find in the text books and RU-vid videos. EXCEPT ONE RED FLAG : mixed signals by being HYPER interested when we meet .. but rarely responsive on social media ( yh I said that he's too busy he's a surgeon too BUT NA) I listed to this video and got completely unattached. Fast forward a few weeks I discovered: HE IS *MARRIED* WITH 3 YO KID !!! And he took all of 'me' story as a ''challenge'', bcz he tends to set high challenges for himself, win them and leave ( it's a habit of his ) Thank you Brian for saving me from psychos disguised as PERFECT on paper.
‘Relationships aren’t an easy ride b/c if they were, most pop singers would have nothing to sing about...” -most of them DON’T have anything to sing about!!!
Brian is right. The last type of guy 4:31 who just wants the girlfriend experience is the most dangerous one. I had a boyfriend, Tim, who is exactly like that with no long term committed plans, not willing to pay the price of a relationship in his actions and investment in the relationship. He wasted my child bearing years; that's the danger of being in love with a guy who secretly just wastes your time.
If it doesn't feel like he's going for you because his actions are proving that then its time to move on. Needed to hear that. I will use it as my mantra to get through what I have to go through now.
#3 guy ... His favourite line is "one day at a time", and he probably won't make much financial investment in you either. It's also probably the toughest one to dump as well.
I can't seem to get rid of my number three. It's been years and he both won't commit or leave. My Sage advice is to "not give him a lift", or just ignore him.
Same here #3: "Let's just allow the relationship to unfold naturally"... And after 1,5 years, he won't be in this relationship any further because of his disagreeing parents. My gut was right from the beginning, but my heart wanted it to be the other way.
My #3 it's the first relationship in my life. I'm 28. At first he was nice and sweet and romantic and started talking right away about us in plural as if we were togheter even tho we weren't even dating back then. The minute he realised I like him he turnes into this guy who never compliments me, our late night cute talks are a thing of the past. He isn't hyped to see me. I literally have to beg him to go out with me. And i don't feel comfortable enough to progress in this relationship because he doesn't make me feel like i'm someone who he sees himself with longer-term. I'm also not the friend with benefits type. It's hard to call it off because i actually love the idea of a boyfriend and having someone who will love you back :(
Hey, tbh, I don’t know how I got here (as a dude). Reading all these comments is shocking. Hopefully, you’ll soon find a relationship, that makes you happy :)
These experiences are so painful... not so much because you lost a loved one, more because you were treated so poorly and were disrespected with no consideration of your feelings.
I had so many weird stressful relationships and thought this it how it is. Then I met the one with 30 years and there where no games and no negativity. I realized this is my only real relation I ever had and how each person should be able to enjoy it!
It’s so nice to finally hear someone confirm what I’ve always believed. When I was younger I was so quick to stop talking to a guy when I knew he wasn’t really into me. People will always try to take what they can but they can but they can only take what we allow. It’s a toxic mindset that wants to manipulate another and the Karma isn’t worth it!!! You know when a man wants you! There’s no thinking involved!!! I loved when you said if you have to wonder, the answer is no!!!!!! He’s just not that into you!!!! I received, confirmed and resonated with this message. Thank you! 🙏🏾
My take on this is to focus on how YOU feel instead of how he feels about you. Keep in mind that no one really owes you anything, don't be entitled and expect a guy to move mountains for you if you guys barely know each other... just be authentic and confident in yourself and honest about how you feel, be the person who sends the right signals, if he reciprocates then great, if not then bye, NEXT!
@@Annamelese maybe try building on what actually happens, instead of what you hope will happen, if that makes sense. Just like when you want to buy something - you can buy it on credit in the hope that you will pay back that money in the future OR you can delay gratification until you have the money saved up and THEN buy it. So if you are getting excited about what COULD happen and making plans based on that, you could try making plans based on what has ACTUALLY happened. For example, if it's been a few dates and you really like him but you haven't spent a weekend at his or your place or yet and you are thinking how great it would be to move in together STOP, and wait until you have actually 'lived' together a bit and are at the appropriate stage of the relationship to think about moving in together. Basically, don't get ahead of yourself. Hope that helps
Agree... If the reason is only "to be in a relationship", probably, frustration will come along sooner or later... Seems like that's about people with emotional emptiness... I would feel sad to be with someone just to be in a relationship; It would´t be enough for me...
I’ve been battling mixed signals like this in a male dominated industry. They say they want a partnership, but when business gets tough, they race for the door or throw you under the bus. No character, no grit and certainly no loyalty.
I’ve known my boyfriend for 21 years, this Sept is our 3 year anniversary as a couple. He’s satisfied acting as a couples role but not moving forward... I don’t live with him, we don’t talk of marriage, he likes things just as they are. He has a heart condition that will take his life, the Dr’s give him 7 more years. His sleep is important and so he’s afraid of having my kids and I move in. I love him and I’m torn at what to do. I don’t want to live without him but I want to move in and have whatever time he has left.
I’m experiencing scenario 2 and my friend scenario 3! Urgh and they say men are straightforward 🤦🏽♀️ It’s so painful to accept and this is all true. Time to face the truth ladies and cut these emotionally unavailable men out!
A great video and pretty much a clear cut guide on all points! I was with a boyfriend for 5 years who had no interest in marrying me. Now I know. Once a guy send me mixed signals, he’s out of my sight fast. I mean fast! He has no recourse with me. He can make up all kinds of excuses but nada nada, got no time for games. You’re either in or gone. If you’re gone, stay the fuck gone! I know this might seem harsh but I’ve been burned one too many times. Just can’t take any more of these games.
He is single handedly addressing all of my issues one video at a time. So much straight forward insight. Best channel I've seen for advice like this based on real truths.
As a GUY who over the years has been in quite a few relationships (months to years) with some women and now with only men, I wish I had this wisdom back then. Based on my experience, what Brian says here is true about many guys of all shades on the scale of straight to gay. And these mixed signals apply to some women, too. I've received my fair share of mixed signals, but I've also been "guilty" of sending mixed signals before -- mainly not wanting to hurt feelings, and also planning out-of-state moves. Now I know that it's always better to speak your truth and be true to who you are and what you want, rather than send mixed signals that usually end in hurt feelings and guilt. Shoutout to Brian here for his great advice again. Compared to a few other dating vloggers I've followed, overall I find Brian to be the most straightforward, and I like the nice, mellow presentation style.
Sometimes it's difficult dealing with mixed signals. The person I really like, even love at the moment, is giving mixed signals. One day I'm so happy getting a text and then weeks after there's no contact. At the end of the day I begin doubting myself if I'm ever good enough even though I'm giving my all.
@@lorensokasmani7612 run! I am in relationship with a guy in another city. We talk every day for up to two hours on top of multiple texts. If your guy missed a day, not weeks, not months ... just one day - run! Everyone has access to technology now
@@lorensokasmani7612 I agree with MP here. Say "this no longer works for me; I have higher standards and expectations." Then move on to someone who will treat you better! Anyone who really loves you (or even just likes you a lot) will not wait weeks to send you a text or any other kind of message. I have been patient in a long-distance relationship for up to five days of no responses, and even that is pushing it. Anyone who waits a week or more between texts or calls is obviously not ready for a relationship. You can still love someone as great friends. And after you move on, then they should realize not to take you for granted.
@@DashingPartyCrasher that actually makes sense.. I should have walked away when I saw the "red flags"... however I said to myself, just give it a chance, nobody's perfect... the intimacy was there, the long talks, the hugs... I gave it everything and in the end, without notice, he left, just went ghost... The most difficult part is I began doubting myself (til now), having to deal with not being good enough, when I tried giving and showing the best version of me... I pray this phase shall pass
2 years with my ex and his actions showed he wasn't invested, either that or he had dismissive avoidant attachment style. Last week I had enough (other reasons) but this very much played out throughout. I expected him to show more urgency and importance to our issues but he acted indifferent. Yet he'd alwyas come after me when I broke up with him. So a constant make up break up but never fix up thing. It would be a lie if I said I don't feel ambivalent. After all, I had invested alot and 2 years isn't short. Yet I know long term its for the best. The investment felt very one sided towards the end. Hope I'll be over it asap. Pray for me you guys.
When I was sick and wrapped up in narcissists, I bought a poerol, I bought a camper, took him to Hawaii and paid for everything ,took him to Manhattan .. paid for everything. I was a total imbasol....get healthy and love yourself wholeheartedly 💕
I fell for number 3! It lasted 2 years and I was foolish enough buying in to these mixed signal for the whole second year when I tried to talk to him about moving in together, marriage and kids for the future. And at the 2 year mark I finally pushed my questions really hard and it turned out that he was looking for a new bigger apartment for himself only, he never intended to move in with me or ever get married to me or ever have kids. But he still thought I was a good girlfriend and we had a good relationship. I was obviously not ok with it not going anywhere ever and finally set myself free to meet someone that can't wait to move in and start a family one day hopefully. But the red flags were there after 1 year. Don't make the same mistake I did and think that he's just slow - he's just not that into you...
Thank you, Helen. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Sigh, so frustrating. But I am so happy you found someone who can reciprocate all you have to offer!!
Never tell a boy that u like or love him else he will play with ur feelings.spent time but as a friend n never show any interest be urself,more u ignore him,more he wl do efforts to get u
I’m glad I’ve watched this. I’m just 23 but I’m already scared that I’m not find the one for me. So tired of talking to someone investing genuine feelings then suddenly lost interest in a blink of an eye. They just want something else tho. But after watching this it uplifts me. So thanks.
I definitely just had a situation with the #1 guy. Our first two dates were 7 hours each, he gave me his full undivided attention whenever I was with him, we talked every day and he remembered little things about me, he would walk me home and kiss me, and then the day before I was supposed to go to his place he told me he enjoyed talking to me and hanging out with me but he wasn’t interested in me romantically. Totally felt like it came out of nowhere and I was shocked @ how I was so wrong I was in assessing the situation.
He wants to date me but then tells me his life is complicated but yet wants to sleep with me ..I say no to friends with benifits and that I'm not getting involved be firm and be willing to walk away if a man wants u he wants u and there will b no mixed signals I am not giving my time or energy if he doesn't really want a relationship even tho he makes me feel like hes interested its not enuf and my gut tells me he isnt
Exactly..don't waste your time or energy..Either you know or you don't..Have strong boundaries about sleeping together after x dates...Make them wait...and you will see whom is truly invested..of they start showing signs..and talking full disclosure does not work..Walk your sweet self out the door..It's a show of his true character not YOURS!!
A courter told me : our expectations are not aligned it doesn't make sense to pursue this further , I appreciate you as a friend we can keep it as that . Ladies listen to Tony Gaskins : keep your legs closed to see how interested a man really is , I'm glad I did .....
Some people are friendly, charming, present and social and people will assume they are flirting. Human behavior is fluid in context. Thank you for mentioning this.
I was with the first guy. It was awful. By not breaking up with me and stringing me along while cheating on me (for the last seven months of our 2.5 year relationship), he disrespected me. The respectful thing to do would have been to break it off and let me go
My ex "boyfriend" was that kind of guy who wanted the girlfriend experience. Unfortunately i realise that after the break up (he texted me "its not you, its me") After 6 months he reappeared to send more mixed msgs...and i smile because now i know what he is trying to do, so i do the same! I send him mixed signals as well😂
You just saved me from giving way more access to an ex over the Christmas break than I needed. Which is NONE at all! I absolutely needed this video right now! Thank you! Loved the simplicity that smacked me right in my face-There is no such thing as mixed signals-it’s either yes or no. Literally putting that as a phrase on my background pic on my phone!
In my experience people can change over time. Although being godly can be interpreted various ways based on one's culture and upbringing, it still boils down to their actions that speak louder than words. I've been married a long time to a godly person, one who read his bible everyday, non pretentious man. Several years later, he went on a different journey based on a different teaching that involves "free love" and that is where we decided to part ways amicably. Bottomline, people change in the course of their life, their belief system can change while thinking they're in the right path. Therefore, there are no guarantees to anything. It is best to master oneself, love and believe in ourself that we can hurdle challenges as they come so we will walk out of relationships as victors, not victims, with our head held up high.
He was there to comfort me after my divorce. I never saw it coming.always being there for me and calling my child his own child, how he wanted to be there for me and my son. Well I started believing after a few months, and falling for him. the day we slept together, he immediately said, I would have given you everything if it wasn't for how he was not ready for a relationship. he proceeded to tell me he would always be there for my son and wants to be a role model for him see him grow etc... but I should not get attached to him. He wanted to keep coming to see me etc...I couldn't believe how someone who has seen me at my lowest is trying to confuse me emotionally...I was so surprised. He was a real friend to me but I had to wake up and stop him. He had to go. He tried to emotionally blackmailing me using my son. How cutting all contact with him will make him miss my son. I only slept once with him and he did that. he thought I was so hooked or in love with him that I would not have the strength to kick his ass. well I cut him off. It was harder to swallow than me divorcing my husband.
He treats me like an option , while looking for someone else better , or just in case things may not work out from his first option . That is why he sends mixed signals
People are complicated. Dating around may seem easy until you like someone. When you like someone it's natural for some stressors/triggers to come out. While its healthy to prepare in advance for what you're getting into, such as watching Brian Nox, you never know where you are mentally until you like someone and you are tested. The biggest takeaway I can think of when you are dating and haven't found love (and I'm talking love past the infatuation phase) is ALWAYS have a reliable support system of family and friends. The kind that will tell you who you really are in a loving way so you can improve. You can bounce back and not be so easily swayed by someone you like after lots and lots of practice.
OMG..I was with a #3 for 11-1/2 years..I broke it off because it was going nowhere. I wish I knew this 11 years ago. Been alone and not even dating for 2 years now...just enjoying my life and having fun until the right one does come along!
