Dos and Don'ts of Chinese Etiquette: Things You Should NEVER Do According to Chinese Tradition! 

When you serve a tea cup to elderly you serve it with two hands. That's what my dad taught me.

Respecting elders is one of traditional values in Chinese history. Ancient people have strong moral character. Thus, your etiquette and attitude will reflect your inner world.

Here's the ones that I find still more prominent today: Minor: Slouching. You still get called out, but usually a minor reminder. Medium: Playing with chopsticks. Medium: Fidgeting. Shaking your feet is really bad. Medium: Greet all your non-nuclear family elders (aunt, uncles etc). Then if new elders visit that house, stop what you are doing in whatever room and go greet them in the main room. This is more severe for Chinese people, but I don't think anyone cares that foreign person doesn't know to do this. Severe: Picking specific things in a dish. I've once seen a foreigner only pick out the chicken from a mixed dish like Kungpao chicken. It was really weird I didn't even realize that was an option until then. Medium: Eating before your elders when it's not just the nuclear family. The more familiar you are with the extended family elder the less it's a problem. Severe: Eating before a grandparent. Even if your a foreigner, its going to be really awkward for everyone. Other things in the video I've occasionally heard about but is not a big deal among any family members I know.

And the prettiest Chinese lady in the world was found to make this presentation.

I’m British, and grew up in the 70s, we had to ask permission before leaving the dinner table, and it was very bad form not to finish your food (especially understandable since both my parents knew rationing. My father also insisted we never turn our noses up at food without trying it once. In Britain we usually make tea in cups or mugs, it is modern etiquette to always check if anyone else wants tea or coffee before going to make some.

respect for elders should be something the whole world does

I just showed this to my son. He’s seven and he thinks your rules are very good. He was under the impression that Chinese people don’t like Americans so I showed him your videos and asked him if he though you were against us. He said “No she seems nice!” I also pointed out how many of your rules are similar to our rules here. Thank you for the random social studies lesson ❤️

This video is most appreciated; such manners should become standard universally.

I saw so many flashbacks to my childhood as my family taught me a lot of these etiquette rules. A lot of them were unspoken, like the ones about your demeanor, but there are ones that were definitely taught over and over again, especially the slouching one! (I am horrible and have slouched a lot since moving away from my family)

Some of these are ones my Chinese teacher taught me. The crossed leg one is especially funny and difficult to comply with for me because in my families (English/Irish) etiquette is that you gently cross your ankles so that they sort of tuck under your chair. Doing that also stops me from fidgeting so much because it reminds me where my feet are😅☺️ great video!

It's always interesting how the VAST majority of these are applicable to Western etiquette. Generally human beings find the same things unpleasant or pleasant. Etiquette is based in consideration towards others, especially table manners. The simple act of pointing the spout away from someone may be based in not spilling tea directly on someone if the pot gets tipped or just making it easier for the other person to use the handle when they want to pour.

This etiquette is so interesting! I have never actually known that Chinese people still practice etiquette (because of the cultural revolution) but I am very happy that it has survived!

I love your videos. As a foreigner still learning about Chinese culture, I realise that there are many differences with my own culture (French). And most of the time, I do it wrong only because I didn't know it could be wrong. I didn't realise that some things are so important. I see a comment about being picky with food, but at my house we always do it. If there is a mixed dish, each person will eat what they prefer in it. It is normal here and better than having food that you won't like. Even if we always learned to try a little of everything. I will be more careful of my doings when I visit Chinese friends.

10 common house rules in America today: Always say please and thank you Always be kind Complete homework before playing Put things back where you found them Clean up plates after eating Have dinner together as a family No phones at the dinner table Help carry in the groceries No shouting No going to bed angry 25 basic house rules: 1. We are a family, first and foremost 2. Mom and Dad are in charge. Period 3. You will respect everyone who lives here. Always 4. Rules are rules, they are not general guidelines 5. Life is not always about you, sometimes it is about others 6. You are not expected to be perfect, therefore, you may not expect perfection from others, even Mom and Dad 7. Sometimes grace is extended, but grace is not to be expected 8. If you don’t have something nice to say, just keep it shut 9. You are expected to respond or acknowledge when you are spoken to, ear buds or not 10. If you want to add something to the family calendar, you need to give plenty of notice 11. If you are caught lying about something, you will receive twice the consequences. Being honest is always your best option 12. Man or woman, girl or boy, you are expected to keep your word 13. If your plans have changed, you need to tell Mom or Dad as soon as they change 14. It does not matter to us what happens in the lives of your friends. This is your life - you live here 15. There are plenty of times to have a discussion, you may always speak your mind - as long as you do it in a respectful way 16. When someone is speaking, they have the floor 17. If you would like privileges, you will need to fulfill your responsibilities 18. If you want to borrow something, you will need to ask & not just take it 19. When you borrow something, you will need to return it as you found it and to where you found it 20. There is no maid who lives here 21. If you make a mess, clean it up 22. When you take something out, put it back 23. If you take the last of something, tell the person who needs to know 24. If you break something, you will be involved in the fixing or replacing process 25. Electronics are a privilege, not a right

Love your videos and your awesome outfits!

Respect your civilized traditions.. And our indians traditions are also same to you like 5000 years before...amazing.. 🙏🇮🇳

Regarding respect to elders (and I'm an elder to everyone in my family and in my workplace): An old European custom was such that no one touched his/her food until the lady who prepared the food (it was usually the lady or woman of the house) had taken her first bite. The stereotype is that, after she took her first bite of food, it was a free-for-all to grab and wolf down whatever was on the table. In the USA it is polite custom to offer one's seat (on a bus or other public transportation) to a lady; in Korea one offers one's seat to an elder (pregnant women remain seated, often in a special part of the bus reserved for them).

Wow I like Chinese etiquette. Very attractive and Honourable

I believe everyone should have these rules. Not only because I grew up with them, society as a whole would probably be a little better

I need to teach my kids these..... so many of these even I forget..

This is such a wonderful channel. I think the best thing I can do for Ally, and to promote Han Culture, is to share this. ❤️

Etiquette isn't as emphasized as much anymore so I'm glad there's a video like this 😄😂

I grew up in a southern family in Arizona. We are mixed family but anyway a custom i was raised on was that when you have a guest you are supposed to offer them a drink. If Southeast is usually sweet tea southwest however it's usually water or coffee. This comes from cowboys who traveled great distances so whenever a cowboy approaches the camp of another cowboy then it was polite to offer them something because they traveled a ways and are most likely tired from their travels. There is even a story of the infamous Jesse James who repayed an old ladies kindness by saving her farm from being taken by the bank. The kindness she showed them was offering them food, water and a place to sleep during a terrible storm and although Jesse James was an outlaw he still had a high sense of etiquette when it came to asking for kindness and returning the kindness. Think Robin Hood if that makes it easier to understand.

As an Anglo-Australian I was brought up with many of the same values! For instance, when we sit at the table, we mustn't start eating before everybody has sat down and my mother has indicated that it's ok to start eating. We also mustn't leave the table without saying "excuse me" (if brief to get something) or "may I leave the table please?" if finishing dinner. And as far as eating sounds go, we were always taught never to eat with your mouth open, and never talk with your mouth full. If you absolutely MUST say something, cover your mouth with a serviette and keep it as brief as possible. Also, I was always told off for slouching as a child by my dad. And as far as leaving and returning the house goes, it goes without saying to say goodbye and hello to my parents when leaving and entering. When guests come we must greet them too. And of course, no playing with utensils at the dinner table, whether those utensils are chopsticks or a knife and fork! And serving drinks to others before ourselves is also a must. If we want to refill our glass, we must first offer to fill up everyone else's glasses before ours - even if there isn't enough drink left for our own glass afterwards. If there is some food left on the table and we want it, you first have to ask everybody else if they would like it. If they say yes and take it, too bad! But most of the time they will refuse and let you have it out of politeness, even if they want it - the point is just that you have to ask first to show consideration to everybody else, so even if you offer eveyrone else the last piece of food you'll still likely get it. And if we want food from the other side of hte table, we have to ask someone to please pass it to us. No reaching over either. It seems like a lot of these etiquette values very much reach across cultures! However, my family were always strict with manners and etiquette. A lot of other Australian families are a lot slacker. But no matter where you're from, good manners goes a long way and is appreciated by everybody no matter where they're from or how they were brought up.

we need to help promote her channel. The good things need to be unveiled.

I think taking care of other people's things more than your own is what I learned from my mother 💕💜☺️😀

You look like a fantasy princess,Chinese style is so gorgeous!

I was taught 'no lying' too! truth comes out eventually. I personally value keeping promises. If I ever have a child, I'll teach them these 2 lessons for sure. Not slouching is a good lesson, haha. They tried teaching me this, but they failed. Sleeping without a pillow though helps with improving posture. Regarding the tea ceremony, not filling the cup all the way is practical: fewer chances of spilling the cup when taking it up to drink if it's filled at 70/80% instead of 100%. Not pouring something to the outside also has a practical aspect. Your hanfu is so pretty! this style makes me think of the kimono a lot. I first got familiar with the kimono, and yes, i know that the hanfu inspired/influenced the kimono a lot. I'm so glad i discovered your channel. I hope you'll still upload!

Greetings to all, This video was extremely informative and helpful. I enjoyed watching and learning proper etiquette from another culture. Thank you so much. I must say that the idea of filling a cup only 70% is something I have always believed and highly preferred all my life! It is frustrating to see a cup filled to the brim. I am relieved to know that I'm not alone in this position!

I'm african american and a lot of these rules are basics shared within my family, especially ones related to respecting elders.

Just common sense good manners.Thank you Ally.

This was so interesting :) I wish more people would bring up their children like this. I have no doubt that unless people from America; (which is where I'm from), and possibly some other countries, were to be taught before they went; we would make many mistakes while visiting China. I would love to hear more of your etiquette rules and thanks again for the interesting video :)

This is so strange compared to how I grew up! I feel like all children should be taught this because it is the simple things that can make people behave rudely. Most of the points in the video I never really thought of and just kind of do on instinct

Thank you . The way you explain things with your calm and soothing voice is awesome. Love it.

I was wrong. No wonder a friend would sometimes glare at me whenever we're eating out. LMAO.

It always drove me crazy how my American friends wouldn't inform my family whenever they'd try to leave. I'd try to subtly remind them to say goodbye and avoid having my parents feel offended by pausing and informing my family that a friend is leaving so they'd look over and my friends can say goodbye themselves. Also, I always inform my friend's parents that I'm leaving before I do, I think some of them questioned me why I did that one time haha

It's funny because I was like 90% of those rules in my French -very frenchy- family. Thank you for sharing this!

Growing up as a kid in Jamaica, we had to observe ALL of these rules, and more. For example, no elbows on the dinner table, always opening doors for women and elders, always giving up your seat for women and elders, always wash before dinner (especially hands and face), always address elders as Miss/Mrs/Mr or at the very least as Sir/Ma'am (it's very poor manners to call an older person by his/her first name!). I remember once in Sweden hearing my best friends (Swedish) calling their parents, aunts and uncles by their first name. This was perfectly acceptable behavior and no one felt the least bit offended. I couldn't even begin to imagine the ramifications of calling my aunt or my grandmother by their first names. This would have triggered an international crisis of epic proportions, not to mention thousands of dollars in phone bills!

Your videos are so calming and relaxing. I love watching you. Thank you for this.

I love your videos! They’re so informative and I find so many resemblances with etiquette growing up in my family

I love the tradition and dressing and everything!!! I love your channel

Very informative thanks for this ❤️

This was so cute and informative! For a second I thought you were gonna do SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS with what not to do with the tea 😂

Hmm not sure how to deal with "being loud in public places". Maybe some Chinese tourists should watch this video.

Absolutely love this, thank you.

What a graceful video!

I have been looking for this! Thank you so much for posting! 🌟✨️

Shown to our kids, wonderful production and explanation!

Same in India

What you just show is exactly how my whole family is brought up being educate on etiquette behavior, we meet elders who were both pleased and surprise by the way we behave!! Thank you ally wang!!! Keep up the good work!!!! P.S: I enjoy the bad behavior skit from you too!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Thank you! You taught me many things that I didn’t know! You taught me a lot more manners!

This is what my mom taught me since childhood, so many rules for sitting and eating politely, but now I feel it's all for my benefit 😁😁

actually the specific etiquette you've listed is mostly similar in my specific house etiquette in Poland that's a cool thing to see ^^

We are studying the beautiful Chinese culture this month as part of our homeschool. Thank you for sharing these etiquette pointers and for giving such a great insight into your rich culture.

Thank you so much for the great video. I just subscribed. This makes me want more videos of your great tips. We especially need more videos about respecting older siblings and respecting parents to share them with the young people in our family and let them learn some traditions. Thank you!

I have always thought the small Chinese gesture of taking the best morsel of food and placing it on the rice of your grandmother, father, son, guest etc is such a beautiful way to show honor, affection and respect. The way my Chinese friends' mothers always want me to eat to the point of blowing up is a reminder of my own Romanian grandmother and mother's way of showing how much they love and appriciate family, friends and guests by sharing favored meals. These things remind me that no matter where your family comes from, or what they look like, we are all very much the same.

I love these rules

excellent tips. I'm embarrassed to have made some of those errors in the past, so it was fun to see you address them.

Love your channel so much!! Keep up the good work! I’d like to know more about Chinese tradition, it’s charming. 💓💓

I’m Indigenous from Canada and the respect your elders is huge I honestly feel bad I haven’t been up to par with my morals! I’m hoping to learn from this

So interesting and useful video!!

Informative, educational and motivating...

Well said Miss Ally ⭐️👏🏼 A person with really good manners is a joy and a treasure. Everybody appreciates manners and responds to them, even if politeness seems to be a dying art in today’s unmannerly world. Being polite is actually quite easy, it’s not rocket science, and will bring you esteem, affection and trust in your circle of friends and colleagues.

The way you do the things you're not supposed to is somehow quite attractive to me. Especially when you know the right way. Great video 😁

Really helpful for all cultures. These are very important to follow in our daily life.

I found a lot of the things in this video very similar to was I was taught as a child in America... many years ago, now. I think innate dignity and self respect are commonalities that change little from culture to culture, and can be built on. I was very fortunate to grow up a wanted and loved child, and filial piety has played a very large role in my life. After I was widowed, I moved back in with my parents to care for them as they aged. I moved 800 miles because my mother wanted to after my father died, leaving everything and everyone I ever knew behind. I'm quite proud that even after my mother had to be moved to assisted living when I could no longer care for her on my own, I moved into an apartment building directly next door so that I could continue to see her until the day she died. Both my parents were wonderful people who deserved to be treated as well as I was able. Not everyone is as fortunate as I was.

The information is authentic and presented properly.

I have only just found this, wonderful. I was brought up in england and my mother was obviously trying to bring up a polite chinese girl not a noisy, busy, clumsy english daughter. She is 97 now!

I am an American. My wife is Chinese. When we visit her family, I follow these practices. They are greatly pleased. I am the oldest and respected.

indian culture is also something like that 😊 nice information

This is fascinating. I just found out I have Chinese ancestry so this video is quite informative. I want to learn as much about my Chinese heritage as my other ethnic heritages.

I was taught all these things on my fathers side of the family and its not as different in a Filipino household, respect your elders, speaking softly etc. And i was taught if your not sure of what customs the household has NEVER hesitate to politely ask. Asking is better than guessing. 🥰💕

Great video!

Thanks. Good presentation!

Hello, i personally love your Chinese Etiquette teaching skills and fully appreciate how you promote this. I am a Royal Etiquette trainer myself in China and admire your passion!, Keep up the great work!

I recognise a lot of these traditions from my asian side, from my grandmother. I enjoyed watching the video, thank you.

Absolutely love this video! What I learned is "Do not do unto others what you would not want them to do unto you."

谢谢你的教学。

Your so pretty and I love watching your videos, they are very helpful and informational!!! Thank you!!!

I really loved the video 😄 I hope you do more Chinese etiquette videos in the future.

I'm here because my English teacher told us that we make an activity like this video... I'm Happy, I like the Chinese culture

Beautifully presented! Your parents must be very proud of you.

Thank u so much for sharing :3 it was really interesting Hope there are more videos like this in the future!

respecting elderly is really heart touching

It is cool to see what Chinese customs overlap with western customs and how different they can be at times

Being respectful, knowing the values of thing and being generous.

Thank you, I had the habbit sometimes to stick thr Chopsticks into the rice. Know I know it, and shall remember it.

Good stuff.

wow! had I not known these, I would have done all the don'ts for sure😮

great video for everyone to watch and learn, am ur fan

I really love Chinese culture and I'm learning a lot about it. # Love from Manipur

I always sit with cross legs I never thought that it is a sort of bad manners. thanks for making such a wonderful video it was the first time that I was watching your video. I enjoyed it a lot, Love from chitral

Just found this vid and I loved it. Astonishingly, most (almost all) of the good manners you mentioned are values I was taught in an Anglo-Saxon Canadian family! I've been called out for most of these when I was growing up (including respect for elders) and one that you didn't mention, if you're in a room with elders, you should not speak until or unless spoken to. You do not leave the room without asking permission. I guess good manners are kind of universal, nice to know. Thanks for sharing!

I am a savage, I don't have etiquette like this. Miss you are a good woman, I will learn much from you. Thanks 😺😺😽😺😺

Very interesting, thank you 😊 I was surprised about the rolling up the sleves!!!! I’m from Spain in latinamerican culture rolling up your clothes is not consider bad manners. Another interesting one was the tip of the teapot not to face anyone at the table 😜 I’ll try to remember them if I ever go to a chinese household. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Very informative video💯

I like table manners of chinese, thanks i learn something new

Dear Miss Ally, thank you so much!

I feel like most of these etiquette (or "savoir-vivre") rules apply to my Québécois family. The most striking example what not pointing the teapot at someone - it's like wishing them ill or causing bad luck for them. Thanks for sharing!

💐. Xie, xie, Thank you so much for each of your wonderful videos! ♥️ 🙏 🙋