Dos and Don'ts of Interacting with the Deaf Community [CC] 

"Oh, you're deaf? That sucks." I once got a good laugh out of a deaf kid in school by telling him that he's the lucky one for not being able to hear our teacher's incessant nagging, and he busted out laughing in the middle of class He still talks about it years later saying it made him feel good, and it was apparently the first time someone didn't treat him like he's disabled...

I used to do taxes, had a deaf couple as clients. I was working on their 1040, singing Lisa Loeb's "Stay" as I worked. The husbanded passes me a note that says "I never said you don't belong, we're not leaving and you didn't do anything wrong". I was completely perplexed and he was looking at me with concern. Then he started laughing and passed another note saying "We read lips, are you singing to yourself?". 😂 That's when I was introduced to ASL. They taught me a lot of simple introductory signs and encouraged me to learn more. I'm by no means fluent, but I've got my manners down and can ask and understand basic questions. TLDR: A deaf man's wicked sense of humor got me to learn some ASL.

I'm autistic and I'm learning to sign merely because its easier than using my voice.

My wife Dawn was born deaf. I am hearing. I had just got out of the Air Force when I met Dawn. I didn’t know any ASL at that time. When Beverly introduced me to Dawn she immediately caught my eye. She was so beautiful like an angel. I learned ASL. In March we will be married 30 years. I interpret for the deaf at church now. It’s not always an easy journey and many obstacles. We go out to eat with other folks and none of them know sign. So I’m constantly interpreting between her and everyone at the table. It’s hard to finish my meal sometimes. I had to learn to stay focused on her, she loves to communicate and us men naturally are not good communicators. So it makes it even harder when your wife is deaf. I love Dawn and I will be with her my entire life.

it’s so interesting that since I can hear people speak, I can also sort of “hear” the words she’s signing, like my brain has selected a generic voice that this girl has and when I focus I can hear when she mouths the words. like how people who can hear kind of “hear” their thoughts or when you read. anyway, loved this video, so happy I found this channel !

I'm here to learn sign language because i'm in love with deaf girl 😥❤

I learned to sign in college waaaay back in the day. My deaf friends always did simcom with me, so I didn't know that wasn't normal. Since then, I've taught my three kids basic signing as babies (which is different because simcom with hearing babies is standard) , and it made it so that I could communicate with them at 6 months. It's amazing because they hardly cried when they needed something. They'd just sign. My oldest is 11 and still signs till this day :)

Hi Chrissy. My mom was born in 1922. She lost her hearing at age 18 because of a mastoid infection -- there were no antibiotics then, so they simply removed all the infected parts & hoped for the best. She was completely deaf in one ear and profoundly so in the other. She wore a hearing aid. She told me a story about how she was riding the subway on a very hot day & these huge D-cell battery packs for her hearing aid, which were strapped to her thighs, were shorting out because of sweat. She went to NY School for the Deaf, and at that time there was only one option: lip reading ('oralist" tradition). Children who went there wanted to sign naturally but were prevented from doing so by having their hands tied behind their backs. They had to learn to be "invisible" in a hearing world. I told this story to an ASL interpreter once. After listening to the story the interpreter said, Your mom was a hearing person who couldn't hear. That really struck me. I actually tried learning the language & tried to get my mom to, but that was when she was in her 60s & she just didn't want to. She worked, as many deaf people did then, as a seamstress. In fact you probably already know that the sign for the word "how" comes from "the boss" asking "how are you doing?" which meant "show me your seams." But seamstress is a nice word for "worked in a sweatshop." She did manage to finally get her drivers license. For all their marriage my dad wouldn't let her drive; he just couldn't believe she could do it. After he died she got a deaf instructor & got her license, & her face on that picture is the happiest you have ever seen on any person ever; I kept it after she died. Anyway Chrissy when I see you it makes my heart ache, it is kind of bittersweet. How happy I am that the deaf community is what it is today, and how sad it makes me that my mom had to endure so much. Anyway. Thank you for this video.

I have ADHD and could normally not focus on a video with no sound, but your energy just held me here the whole time.

Most of this is just being a nice and respectful human

A transcript without time signatures to put into a text to speech thing if you want :) Hi everyone! Welcome back to The Essential Sign, I'm Chrissy! Today what we are going to do is discuss the Dos and Don'ts of socializing with the Deaf community. *Hearing aid ringing* This video is mostly for new signers and ASL students. I have a lot to say and I have a list, so I will go ahead and start. First, we are a community and culture, we don't want your pity. So don't say, "I'm sorry you are Deaf, that sucks" I hate that. Do Show your motivation to become involved and share your reasons why. Don't isolate yourself because your intimidated or whatever, really the best way to get involved and pick up signs is to fully imerge yourself in the community. But I encourage you to learn basic conversation and some signs before you try that. Do Be honest about your situation, your background, and experience with ASL. Hi! I'm new, I'm learning ASL and taking ASL . I'm learning ASL online. Hi! I'm ------, I'm taking ASL in college, studying to become an ASL interpreter. Do Try and stay voice off and try not to simcom. Simcom is speaking and signing at the same time. It doesn't work. Don't Try and teach ASL if you are only a student. You aren't qualified and you will lose respect from the community, Especially online. Do Respect eachother and listen to the Deaf communities opinions on rights and advocacy, that kind of thing. Just listen. Don't Show up and try and impede on our conversations. It's rude. And don't try to translate or interpret, unless if we ask for help. Only if asked. If you impede on our conversations you are limiting our abilities. It's rude and- It's a thing I hate. If you are an ASL student, know your teachers name! Simple right. There are two reasons why. ) It's ridiculous not to know. ) Some people in the community know the teachers, so they will probably ask you who your teacher is. You probably want to know it. Don't Beg for a sign name. If we think of some thing that fits we will let you know, But we won't if we don't know you, who you are good enough. Do If you want to learn and improve your signing, ask simple little questions. Thats fine. So I was walking around with a friend and looking around we saw a umm- Hey whats the sign for b-i-r-d? So I was walking with my friend and we saw a bird. It was cool. Are you Deaf, Hard of hearing, or hearing? Don't Use socializing with Deaf friends like a second class. It's not our job to teach you and sometimes we will help you, but theres a line. Do Be flexible and patient. There needs to be good lighting and eye contact is important. Don't Pretend to understand if you don't understand. I will notice if you are clueless. I see you. Do Understand the community is diverse. Some people sign ASL, some PSE, some SEE. It varies, every individual is different. Just depends on the person. Don't Assume we can lip read and never force or pressure a Deaf person to voice or speak. Thats terrible. Just don't. Don't do it. Do Understand the Deaf community has face years and years of oppression. Going back the community has so much culture. And you need to recognize you have hearing privilege. Recognize and accept your hearing privilege. Don't Be upset or angry if someone doesn't like you. There is some bias in the community and it happens. Thats reality. It happens. Sometimes people just don't like you. It doesn't matter. Move on! I think thats it for today! Hope you learned something and enjoyed the video! Comment if you want to share anything about the topic. Thanks for watching! Bye!

Something about watching people use ASL is so beautiful. I can't wait to more fluent in ASL so I don't need the captions to understand what's going on!

They really should teach ASL in schools. Make it a requisite to graduate just like you have to take a foreign language class.

DON'T eavesdrop and then say, "Oh, I was just watching, sorry."

My daughter was born deaf but has used a CI most of her life. Her first experience learning ASL was only recently at a community college. I wish she’d had a kind teacher (like I did) because she was SO EXCITED to learn (and seemed naturally good at it)! By the end of the class though, my daughter admitted that she was disappointed with the teacher’s attitude toward her so she gave up interest and just relied on lip reading. I hope one day she’ll meet someone as friendly as you and be interested in learning ASL again.

A friend and I are learning ASL together. He was joking around and said "Hey how did you do on that final exam?" Then held up the OK sign while smiling/wincing. We couldn't stop giggling and the others in the room were very confused.

I’m sending this to my ASL Professor! Since he’s Deaf himself, he always tries to teach us about common courtesy when interacting with the Deaf Community, so this video touches on a lot of the same points he makes.

"A Silent Voice" has peaked my interest in learning ASL and JSL. I plan to one day become fluent enough to have decent conversation with others.

My grandmother was deaf from birth and my grandfather was deaf/blind due to a genetic condition called Usher's disease. He also had some balance problems which is characteristic of the disease. There are four types of Usher. They raised eight kids together and my grandfather worked digging ditches and he made things to sell. They communicated by tactile sign language. They felt they could do anything they set their mind too expect no one would let grandpa drive lol He got that and was fine with it. Thanks for these great videos Chrissy!

I recently found out I have a speech processing issue which can really impede my social interactions sometimes, so I’ve been interested in learning more about the deaf community and different ways you are able to communicate. Thank you for this video, it was very helpful!

I'm learning asl but the only thing i "teach" is to show my parents what I've learned cuz I'm actually really proud lol

I'm in ASL 2 and really want to be fluent in ASL eventually. I really love how you sign--it was easy to understand and I feel like I was able to pick up a lot of it! I really appreciate it! thanks for this video, you have a new subscriber :)

If someone says they're sorry you're deaf and it sucks, turn it back at them. "Oh? I was going to say I'm sorry you have to hear everything all the time! That sounds absolutely horrible!"

I'm an xray tech student, I just started learning ASL online as I had my first interaction with a deaf patient. I dislike not being able to communicate with my patients throughout exams, especially when they're in pain. Sometimes I need them to move in a way or do something, and not being able to explain how/why and how far to done we are is stressful for both parties. I want to be better and give my patients the quality care they are entitled to.

I feel like simcom is sometimes unavoidable though. Like at work. One of my employees is Deaf and I will often address multiple coworkers at once so I have to speak while I sign. And that was difficult to get used to because I had to practice speaking grammatically correct English while thinking conceptually so I could convey the same idea with sign. That resulted in very stilted language for a long time, lol. As my sign vocabulary increased though, I noticed I started to rely heavily on SEE, so my speech speed regulated. Of course, if it's just the two of us, I don't speak at all. It's so nice just to have a normal conversation without having to translate for others.

It’s both fascinating and unnerving to watch a video with no sound to it, but that was really educational. I’m new to asl and trying to learn because I have a hard time speaking vocally sometimes because of bad anxiety, I don’t know if that’s really a valid reason or not but that’s my reason. This was really cool to watch and I learned a lot, thank you!

I work curbside. I remember meeting a customer who indicated she was deaf and I immediately signed "sorry" without thinking--I'm super glad it got across that I meant I was embarrassed about only knowing a few signs--she seemed really appreciative! I started learning bc I'm hoh and have noticed that progressing, but now I'm really grateful for the few asl interactions I've had. It seems like people light up when I try to sign even a little bit. I would imagine deaf people prefer that staff not ignore them or just shut down the way I've seen happen. Like, customer service with head down, maybe writing something, and not making eye contact cuz they don't know what to do. Idk, it'd feel dehumanizing for me so it frustrates me, especially bc it's so easy to do better than that I think I understand the point about not acting like you're qualified to teach when you're not, but it seems to me that it'd be nice to spread a few basic signs--greetings and such--around the staff so we can make the place a little more welcoming. I'm not even qualified for that yet, tho I'd like to get there. I'd love thoughts if anyone happens to want to share 😄 our deaf customers have so far been able to spot the clueless hoh person that wants them to have a good day but I could be missing something

Thank you Chrissy! I have a new deaf friend at work and I'm very grateful to start learning so I can communicate with her better. These tips are awesome.

I’m HOH(deaf in one ear, HOH in the other) and my parents never had me learn sign. Then when I did go to a college with a strong ASL program, the cultural aspect turned me off because I felt penalized for not signing, like it was my fault. Now I’m in a better place to learn all of it. But I had a bad opinion of deaf signers because I was never accepted.

I reallyyyyy struggle not to simcom. My fiancé is deaf (right side due to severe ear infection at 24, and left side due to acute degenerative hearing loss at 29), he decided to get CI's. But both of his parents (and a lot of his extended family) are Deaf, so ASL is his first language. We currently live in the remote north, so ASL classes are not accessible. I've been signing for 13 years now, so I am pro at fingerspelling hahaha and my sign vocabulary is substantial, but I still struggle with the ASL grammar and syntax, so I tend to sign PSE which makes it much easier to simcom. His parents have both said that they like it when I sign PSE and simcom especially when there are other hearing people around, but in a Deaf environment it is definitely more awkward. We don't have children yet, but when we do they will definitely, no questions asked, have to learn ASL regardless of their own hearing abilities, and I don't want to mess up their ASL learning by signing PSE all the time.

Tysm for always educating us❤️ love this video❤️

Just wanted to say, thank you so much for using the youtube cc, instead of baking in the subtitles as part of the picture. Because my screen reader can access the youtube cc, but of course not the picture. This is the first fully signed video I have ever been able to access as a vision impaired person. I really really appreciate it.

I always worry that who ever I'm signing with will be frustrated that I dont know more than I do or that I sign too slow or fingerspell too much. I know thats probably not the case but

Schools should definitely teach sign language, you never know when you might need it

You are so bright and joyous! 🌞🌈🌞 I love your videos. Thank you!

This is an OUTSTANDING video!! It is VERY helpful.

I found it really helpful for other (deaf/hoh) people if you ask what type of communication they want (signing/typing/talking/writing) they get happy and excited because you've let them know you want to be accessible for them

Love this video! I'm PJM student (Polish Sign Language) and all these rules apply to Deaf community in Poland :) Although I have to say I feel like here in Poland they are a little bit more open to the topic of choosing sign names. Many times I've seen Deaf person simply asking hearing person which sign would he/she like to have or presenting few different ones and letting them choose :) Also I've seen hearing student telling her Deaf teacher that she doesn't feel her sign name suits her anymore and he would just let her change it to whatever she wants. But I think that the "strict" way is a little bit cooler because you get the most accurate sign :D

Thank you so much!! I love this a lot; as a hearing person who grew up around deaf people, you hit the nail on the head! So true on both ends. Looking forward to watching more of your videos 😁🥳

Great video to listen to while I work.

I’ve always had a love for ASL. I’m not deaf or hard of hearing. Nor do I know anyone who is. Just ever since it was introduced to me in 6th grade I thought “everyone should know a little sign like they know a little Spanish.” I’m learning more everyday!! Love this channel. ❤️

I want to learn and be fluent in ASL just because I find it fascinating

Is this really how deaf people want to be treated or is this just what you want and you're trying to speak for everyone? I get not looking down on people and not saying "Oh that sucks you're deaf." I get the not correcting, and constantly asking questions and signs and turning a casual meeting into a classroom but having people treat me like an egg and "just listen, recognize deaf people are victims and treat them as such" seems pretty condescending, and manipulative, to both sides personally. Hell I've had severe PTSD my entire life and I would rather deal with someone who treats me like an equal, I even prefer a rude honest person, than someone who treats me like a victim out of pity for what I went through... If you don't want to be looked down on, don't expect to be treated like a victim or put on a pedestal, want to be treated like an equal.

This was super helpful! I’m just beginning my ASL and these videos are always great to see and make me aware of everything! 💖

I already pretend I understand other hearing people I feel like that one is just a general rule of conversation no wonder people don’t talk to me lol

Hi my name is Olivia. I am not deaf. I am going into seventh grade. I can fluently speak ASL. I started signing at 5 months old. You are the only person in tik tok that I she seen awnser questions about being deaf. I honestly just think you are amazing and I hope you can see and respond to this message.

A year and 4 months ago i watched this with subtitles. Proud to say i understand it even more clearly without now. Thank you for being a staple in my beginnings.

That was really helpful. Thank you. I'm learning online and realize I need to watch more people like you sign. Thank you for not signing too fast! 🙂

5:15 “eye contact is important” but what if you’re terrible at eye contact

Just came across your channel! you should post more frequently. I love your personality!!

i just started watching asl youtube videos. you showed up with that bright smileand bubbly energy. thank you for giving me some kniwledge

I've always been found signing and the deaf culture and community so rich, interesting, and amazing! ever since I was 7 and I learned a song in sign language I've been dying to learn, finally now trying to ty for your video.

Thanks for this video - it was really helpful. Re: diversity, acceptance, bias & privilege mentioned at 5:40~6:20... Friendly reminder that not everyone who signs is deaf, h/h or hearing; Some people sign because they don't have a voice.

“Don’t try to teach ASL if you’re only a student.” -The Daily Sign has left the chat.

Love your video! Thank you for all the suggestions.

Thank you for taking time out of your day to educate us!

I grew up alongside my deaf cousin and never in my life I thought of being sorry about him being deaf. I always saw it as a way of life, not as a disability. I’ve met the coolest people in the deaf community and my cousin is seriously the kindest and funnier person I know. I always felt honored that his friends welcomed me in their community and I always felt that I was the one in disadvantage for not fully dominating their language LoL

Honestly one of the best features that RU-vid has added in the last year or so is playback speed now I can slow it down and it makes it much easier to understand.

this video was very helpful, Chrissy! thank you for making it :)

I love this video style it really puts you in the shoes of the person making the video because there's no sound and it is about deaf people and I really like that

*gets to don't teach ASL online if you're a student and chuckles* Some people should really watch this... lol

Thank you for having CC’s for the sign language impaired 😬💕

I've been learning ASL for about a year now. Recently I went to an event where there was a group of people who were deaf, and it was cool that I was able to talk to them! This video was very helpful to keep in mind 😁✨ Thanks

Thank you. Wow. That’s helpful and very humbling for me as a hearing person. Please keep the videos coming as your schedule allows.

I want to learn ASL because I'm selectively mute. There are a lot of times where I feel like I can't communicate through talking. I'd rather just not speak at all for the most part. So, I want to learn sign language, so that people can understand me better.

Your face at "I see you" was so great. I am new to ASL and learning and get maybe every second or third sign when talking to a deaf/hoh person who is signing at full speed. I usually understand but sometimes it's too fast for me. I still try to engage all the time because that's how one gets better at it (I hope)

I've been learning ASL slowly and steadily for a year, and now I'm in a formal class! I came back to this video after a while and I am delighted to say I understand so many more signs so much faster than when I saw this video originally. I can't wait to learn more!

I'm a very new student to ASL, and this was a really helpful and important video!! Thank you for taking the time to explain these boundaries :>

I just started learn ASL at college (literally only a month in), so I don’t know too many signs yet, but I love how you signed very clearly, I was able to understand more than I thought I would (my prof signs super fast, so I’m lost most of the time) .This video has been super helpful!

Thank you so much Chrissy! I am a new student in ASL 1 and all you just shared was so important and helpful, truly Thank you!💃🏻☺️💃🏻

I found this video interesting and the "rules" covered extend beyond the reach of the deaf community. I especially appreciate your closing message, Chrissy. Blessings 🙏

Thanks for sharing! I really appreciate the insight.

Thank you this was wonderful. I've just learned I might lose my voice, hopefully just temporarily, but I decided to start learning a few signs just in case. While looking for 'quickies' I found this video of yours quite by accident and I'm so glad I did. I have much more respect and appreciation (and I hope a better understanding) now.

I remember being in some ASL classes that would require us to go to different Deaf events and I’d see students come for like 15 minutes and not interact and just watch and I as a student would get angry! You can’t learn anything in 15 minutes without any interaction. Great video!!! 🤟

thank you so much for this, i’m rewatching this after a year since i did at first when i was first learning, and with this video and other resources, i have been able to have decent conversations in sign! again, thank you bunches, have a great day, remember to drink water, take breaks, n take care!

Thank you for this! I always appreciate knowing what is taboo in a community

I have a friend who does the scomm (speaking & signing) she does it to not only flex but teaches others around her what she is saying. It also helps her subconsciously. Dunno but it works for her.

Thank you, Chrissy for discussing this topic in such a fun non-shaming way! It is really helpful to students like me who genuinely want to better understand the Deaf Community.

So many things I wish I had known 40 years ago when I started learning. So many gracious and kind deaf people have helped and corrected me. Bless you for the video. 💕👍🏼

Thank you, especially for the last message.

Im trying to learn asl online right now an honestly watching you sign while reading it at the same time helps me put together certain signs and pick up on a lot. Thank you so much

This is awesome! I am an aspiring interpreter, and I am always so anxious about interacting with new people, especially in sign language because I am hearing and a novice. I am excited to see the rest of your channel. :)

This is a great video. You're energy is wonderful and you might be one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen. I took sign in highschool but unfortunately didn't have anyone to utilize it with but I'm trying to learn again. Some stuff you don't forget. but thanks for sharing your content is very helpful

Thanks for including captioning as my signing is not that good and I appreciated being able to learn & enjoy your video. :)

I really appreciate this video! I'm starting my interpreter degree next month. I made an instagram story today of myself signing and talking at the same time (2 no nos at once!!!!!) so i'm so glad i watched this and will hopefully save myself lots of embarrassment and annoyance from the deaf community. Thanks again!

Thank you so much! I am a ASL student and I just want to keep learning and learning more about the history and Culture! 💗

I am just learning ASL and I am throughly enjoying it, your video was very helpful :) I picked up a couple of signs you made, but it helped with the captions!! I wish I had you to help me along, you seem very kind. Thank you again, I’ll keep pressing on!

Thank you for taking the time to educate me.

You’re so awesome!! I took a 3/4 of a year of ASL and used to go to a deaf church. Im hearing but just loved the community and wanted to know more! There were definitely people there not happy to see me because i was hearing, but everyone has their own opinions. Im just trying to learn and make peace ☺️

Just found this in 2020, it’s great for those of us just starting to learn about hearing loss and deafness. Thank you for sharing!

I've never seen any of your videos before and it's so interesting to watch a video with no sound at all (not even music!) I don't see people using sign language often and I think it's so cool to see how it flows just like any spoken language and how much emotional expression and empathy it requires. I can really feel the feelings in your signs and facial expressions (even though I don't know ASL) You make me want to learn it 🥰

I'm a nurse and it's SO HARD to get ahold of ASL interpreters, especially during night shift. I've been trying to learn more signs related to being in the hospital to help my deaf patients feel like they have a voice for themselves and don't have to rely on finding an interpreter. For small things we usually write back and forth but getting someone admitted is difficult. I took an ASL class years ago but didn't keep up with it so I can manage only the basics. A few coworkers and I are trying to learn together!

I love your hair and this hoodie! Thank you for the tips

I love your video, thank you sm❤ I'm learning LIBRAS(Brazilian sign language) and I'm loving so much to learn a new language(I love English too)it's literally a new world, a different perspective Everyone should learn, it's so important! ❤❤

Oh wow, this video is so great, very different to the thousands of YT videos i've watched before. I've never met or interacted with a deaf or HOH person, but when looking at ideas for the most useful second language to learn in the UK, BSL came up a lot. I will start learning at least the basics and hopefully when the chance comes to interact with the community Ill be able to at least be polite. Big up yourself, and thank you for the advice x

Can I say you are absolutely stunning and love your charisma.. your personality shines through and I love that. It’s phenomenal to see how times have changed things within the deaf community or possibly it’s simply the area I reside in which is north Texas. Mostly here especially with the ages of 40s and above they have spent their lives with parents that never cared enough to learn signs and have children that hardly know any at all. They’ve been limited in so many ways, it’s heartbreaking really. Anyways, long story short, I’m glad I found your videos.. have a stellar day!

This is my first time watching her, and I can already tell she is such a sweet and kind person!!

Thanks for this video! The intimidation part is real. I need to get over it tho! Will share! ❤️

I really appreciate this video! It is great information to know! I'm a nurse and I'm just beginning to try to learn ASL so I can communicate with patients who sign. I think it is important that everyone feels like they can be understood, especially when they are sick or scared.