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Download 2022 was probably the most Positive Life Flipping event I've Mentally ever had!!!
But In a way it started the weekend beforehand & Metal 2 the Masses with Red Method. A few of their guys really made the effort throughout the bad shit last month and got me to attend that gig. The first social thing in over a month!
It took just over 6 hours to leave the house because of the anxiety about the social stuff/embarrassment of feeling not good enough! & I was shaking the whole way through it. But was kinda myself & not many people could tell I was all over the place but commented on the weight loss. But had an awesome night! Which actually ended on a good note when I was even allowed back in the Dev which was cool!
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Fast forward 3 Days
It's Download Festival time... I'm absolutely Shitting it!!! Throughout all the bad stuff going on, my Friend Sofia messaged me and we realise we'd both been fucked with by the same person & I get a small amount of closure. A few more days & she's been absolutely brilliant.
During these conversations Sofia & Dylan get me & +1 (Bartek) on the Guest List for Download!! I freaked teared up the lot! & I didn't believe it was real until I had the fucking wristband on! & had visions of being turned away at the gate
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Despite the stress what goes into doing it, I decided to Vlog it for the RU-vid channel like the previous year, with the main reason being I wanted to make sure I had a reason to come back... I was terrified the partying would be out of control & believe me I had every intention of making it happen! But here's the thing... As soon as I landed on that turf, I was comfortable. No Bullshit, just kinda calmed down.
😬
So Wednesday is about to get out of Control & I'm somehow filming bits backstage for the Vlog before Red Methods headline set. I go back to the Pit strap the Vlogging camera to my friend Callum and it gets smashed in the Pit...
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While fixing the lense at the side of the set I meet Ruby & well, Within 2 hours I was myself again!
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Instant connection & Happy!, Like flicking a fucking light switch, I went from having zero self belief to being OLD ME! Confidence back, Smiling, being able to hold a coherent conversation...all basic stuff that was incapable of for over a month and I totally freaked out! 😂. Now Imagine freaking out at good stuff!? Haha but Yeah, Super unexpected, all Unplanned but an incredible moment! Let's say that! - all on Camera again - to/during Red Method!
I stopped all Antidepressants/Anxiety pills the next morning, and felt mental panic all day but what a place to attempt it right? - Download! but haven't taken any since.
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Without going through everything that happened at Download & as I Vlogged it rather than take 100s of pictures. It will be a nice suprise of watching it all back for those in it. SO much happened this festival! So many rekindled & repaired old friendships. Time heals...
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But come Saturday through these tickets we get invited to the Iron Maiden guest area, which has a free bar! 😂 Before & After the gig & of all the people to ask...Me & Bartek!! 🤣 It was great although I felt so out of place walking around with Maiden & other press/musicians/family having a BBQ! But man a sample of that was something I'll never be able to repay to Sofia and Dylan! 🖤 & Guys it means the absolute world!
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Come Sunday I've managed to at least briefly meet nearly everyone I'd arranged to, let loose, relax & it's been amazing, the weather was stupidly hot all week which suited the new layout well & I've been smiling the whole time.
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In terms of Perfect timing I met the Perfect people at the exact time I really needed. LUCKY don't even cut it, it's probably been the most emotionally confusing festival I've ever been through in so many areas. But by far the most important for my health (In a good way!)...And think what goes on at festivals!!!
Without name dropping everyone I caught up with at the Festival Thank you! It's been great partying with you all being myself again! If you are not in the first of the pics, there's a high chance you'll be in the Vlog! - so keep an eye on the RU-vid stuff!
Oh and I kinda have a Girlfriend now!😅🖤
Download 2022
🤘🏻😎🍻
My Instagram @BillyMayhem
Music copyright - Gavin Meddins 🤘🏻
"Life is Temporary, Party - Sleep - Repeat".
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29 авг 2024
