Dr. John Gottman: The Man's Guide to Women | True North Story® 

I needed to hear this a looooonnngggg time ago I messed up

Time-mark 13:37 to time-mark 16:16 . Such gold. Gold is not the word .... platinum.

Wow! That thing about not needing to be emotionally mature to work things out.. really spoke to me..

"You can be neurotic as hell"-- you know what, I totally am and I have one of the best, most supportive partners in the world, and I love and support him back. He's right: it's about investment and connection and understanding. Fantastic-- I love it!

I'm really glad Dr Gottman is sharing about the bit of how and why some guys have a lot more sex. There are many guys out there who could really take that to heart.

So many people in the comments section taking this personally and being offended.....if you folks listened to the duo's content, the majority focuses on gender-neutral principles that everyone can learn and take away from, and I imagine that Bringing Baby Home is similar to The Boy Crisis in highlighting the importance of fathers. It is a reality worth acknowledging that many women (especially in previous generations) were financially dependent on guys and have been raised to have to put the needs of their husbands or kids above their own, so sure, it's nice to have material directed towards guys, but even the Gottman's (and other material out there, if you care about material talking about men's needs and importance) address that. Even in this video, though, there's material that's equally applicable Plus, the book was John's idea, and he's a guy, and the biggest takeaway from the Gottmans' work (and couple's therapy) in general is to focus on what you can change and improve, and that's what he's doing.

Love the Gottmans!

This guy truly loves his wife. Lucky man!

@ 30:23 The reason is: many people are unable to tolerate peace for very long. They prefer drama. I agree with Eckhart Tolle when he says that a part of us (which he calls the pain body) doesn't want things to work out. It's sad, but so very true. This is true for any kind of relationship. It doesn't make any sense to me why anyone would prefer conflict over peace, other than they're (A LOT people) are really F'd up.

It's so important to know how you can relationship effectively!

Thank you for this information. Very informative and helpful

I have seen this problem with some men : They have huge egos and are closed as persons, and nobody wants to live with a closed person Also if a man has the playboy sindrome or is not loyal he has to stay single if he can't evolve. On the other I have seen this problem with some women : They have a kind of arrogance that since women know feelings better, they have nothing to learn from a man, and the man just has to do what these women say. If a woman has this type of arrogance she should stay single if she can't evolve. Nobody wants to live with an arrogant person. In a good relationship both women and men learn from each other and the direction for both is to strike and keep working at balance and doing what is right for both and finding compromises and if they can't agree on some reasonable compromise for both, they can separate Women are important and have feelings to be considerate to, but Men are important and have feelings to be considerate to In this we are the same, maybe these problems stem from this prejudice label that implies men think women are important just so they can make sex And this prejudice label that women think men are guilty because they only want sex and have no real feelings and thus the only solution is to obey women in everything This is not true so we need to evolve Opening the channels of comunication with courage is the solution We both can have deep feelings and can learn from each other how to evolve We are a beautiful work in progress: Enjoy the learning and the love ❤

awesome! love the Gottman's

25:49 - 25:58 Actually, there *is* a correct answer, in the scenario Dave Barry poses. If a woman says to you, "Do I look fat?", you answer exactly as follows: "Do I look stupid?"

I really enjoy Dr. Gottman, however, the male host of this show made a ridiculous generalization about black fathers and black families that made me shut this whole thing off. I'll listen to Dr. Gottman somewhere else.

The real gold here is at 14:00.

The problem with this advice is that individuals reject functional relationships, not simply that they don’t possess methods. People have to contend with malevolence and anger

So good!

Can I get a women's guide to women?

I think Dr. John Gottman touched into self-worth and self-love. People don't do a lot of things they know are good for them because they are in the destructive loop to make them feel they are bad. Look into Paul Conti work.

Good interview

Gottman's done some great work, but he's got a frame that puts women on a pedestal and everything has to revolve around her needs. The truth is that women know that they are (generally) more emotional, and men end up being buffers for their expressions. But, if as others have said, you maintain you're boundaries and acknowledge her emotions and separate them from the story, you can train them to be more responsible. Not only that, women will respect you more in these circumstances. I think this scenario doesn't enter into the research because it takes a lot of self awareness, maturity, strength and confidence. There are few men that can live up to this standard (and even fewer women). In the absence of these hyper-realized individuals, we're left with developing pandering skills, which is what Gottman advocates for. Using these combinations of words and techniques will keep you reasonably happy and together, but the next level is more self development so that you know exactly where you stand and aren't really thrown off balance when her emotions get the better of her.

You said that you don’t understand why people don’t take their medicine and I don’t hear you understanding why some just refuse to keep taking meds. Why take something that doesn’t really address the real root problem so it doesn’t heal the body. Foods are a lot of the problem for the inflammation that many conditions have as a basic problem. Most Doctors have so little training in nutrition that they just demand that patients just take meds when they don’t know a better way. There are many other things that come into play on both sides but refuse to be a sheep who just follows without it being proved to me that it is the best way to go and that it will really help. There is so much more I could say but I want she’d a bit of light on why so many turn their back on many of the meds given in Western Medicine. I have been studying relationships since the early 1970’s and I have quite a story and my husband also but I am finding a few new ideas or new ways to approach issues. I am not done listening to what you and your wife are sharing so I am still sorting and seeing if any of the shoes are a new fit or a better fit . Thanks for sharing.

And validated

23:00

People are not taking medication because of all the negative side effects. If you feel worse after taking medication or were given ineffective medication, I wonder if everyone would continue taking them.

The book has been very useful for me and I am grateful I read it But on the negative side two tips and advises are pushy and in one advice a tip not sensible to men which if said to a woman would be absurd. ( Tips and advises should be suggested to the reader, not pushed ) Making compromises is more right and if two people can't compromise they can separate I wrote it on the review and they censored it Red flag

What do you do if your spouse insists that you've done something hurtful when in reality you have not? Is only saying "I'm sorry" really helpful then to a relationship? How can it be if you are living a lie?

Anyone thinking you're about to gain some wisdom by clicking on this.. YOU'RE NOT. they barely discuss ANYTHING. A WASTE OF A HALF OF HOUR.

@11:32 So you like the way she looked... Not the fact that she seemed intelligent... Ssssssshocking! Look up Coach Corey wayne for great relationships. You're welcome!

Women become insecure about their own body after pregnancy or when they were 40 years younger, when the wrinkles appear and the hair is not as thick as it was.

I think the answer to Gottman’s mysterious question goes back to a lack of self love and discipline.

60 dates in 6 weeks? Shut up and take my money!

👏🏻

Why is it that everything that makes a couple strong is about the man changing and the woman’s needs. He never talks about the mans needs and the woman changing. At least from what I’ve heard in most interviews.

sounds so simpy.. although there are quite a few good takeaways from the book.

That ...obv people in a community/ who are significant figures of somones live are important that much is easy but why can't they just be like feminists have wanted that forever

Yeah sure this guy would know. He looks like a real ladies man. Stop this bullcrap. He knows no more about women then the next guy

Ma Jew bro 😎 ✡️

how did this get racist in the first 10 minutes?

So a man must be a player.. OK.. nothing new I learnt.

And those wimmin having deep thoughts would jump Tyrones bones in a New York minute because housechore hubby is a simp