On October 23 2020 I was assaulted by my ex. He broke my jaw and stabbed me twice. Left me for dead. By God's grace I survived. Couldn't walk for three years. I'm walking again and back at work. Thank you God 😭🙌
Dr. UMAR is on point. I pray for his safety and freedom as he speaks TRUTH TO POWER, which is a threat to the oppressor of 522+ years. Domestic violence is a learned behavior, and American slaves were all beat, raped and murdered as a norm in the USA. Black people were enslaved as recent as 1963. Read the case of Mae Louise Walls Miller. Hypocrisy is embedded in systemic racism in America. This all occurred in spite of 1863 Emancipation Proclamation. The slave masters violated the law, refusing to free slaves without being brought to justice. I was born in the 50s, so I appreciate this painful but necessary interview. Thank you.
I have this whole thing about not snitching. It's ruined the Black community. Our refusal to snitch has held us back. Whole families can't get peace because we can't help them by identifying who killed their loved ones. Just because we are trying to uphold a BS belief that doesn't exist. It's ruined the Black community. It's all a lie that holds us bacl
I broke my cousin's ex husband jaw after he put hands on her. I left basketball practice and took care of that business. He never touched her again and all of the male significant others are scared to this day to touch any of the women in my family!
What if u broke his jaw and he shot u in the jaw? Then u go to the hospital and u come home and they still together. Moral to this is, mind yo business
Dr Umar stay callin out the double standards and I'm here for it, somebody gotta speak that truth loud and clear. We can’t pick and choose when domestic violence matter - ALL our sistas lives should be protected, period.
People who disagree with Dr Umar don’t like him in the first place, so anything he says regarding any subject they will try their best to hate on it and let others be misguided, cause they can’t handle the truth🤷🏽♀️
My mom tried to say he was disgusting, I said how do you feel about your nephews? He is trash for hitting that woman like that but a lot of the black community acting like they don’t ignore this in their homes everyday
I was in a DV situation before as a black women. No one defended me but when the same guy got with a clear woman and did the same thing to her, everyone came running to her rescue…
Because... ONLY black women like to put their hands on black men... a result of fatherless households... Because black men lack emotional control .... they are not prepared to deal with abuse at the hands of a woman....another result of fatherless households....statistically speaking, black women are more often the aggressor/ provocateur in black domestic situations.... there are definitive reason behind all our problems as a community... we just have to have the willingness to dig deeper and deconstruct to the root causes....there is much more to uncover here, what I mentioned is just the tip of the iceberg.
I'm so sorry that that was your experience. Pale people are NOT more important than you are and I want you to know that. We black women empathize with you and this is why I advocate dating OUT of the community.❤
Why are yall mad? He is condemning diddy,he's only asking why we don't have the same outrage for women who are not celebrities and are being domestically abused..
They so fake. Don't even bother the comment section. They see somebody get beat. A black woman get beat up and down the street. They going to slip and laugh. Ain't going to say a damn thing. Maybe one person you know these people in these comes are faking followers
As a Afro-Latina from Philly that is a DV survivor, I want to sincerely say THANK YOU DR UMAR…I appreciate everything you do for our Black community especially having our black sistas back when no one else is there to stand up for US!! Thank you 🙏🏽🫶🏽☺️
One thing about Dr. Umar, you ask him a question, you can press record & go on vacation; go run errands; go build a shed in your neighbor's backyard; and have a rib grill-off....when you return, he will STILL be answering your question!🤣🤣🤣🤣
First black man to speak out against the black woman abuse and homicide. I commend this brother ,speak out and protect the black women!❤ however long it takes to get his point across..recieve the MESSAGE!
Dr Umar is NOT victim shaming or condoning what Diddy did! He is giving multiple views and perspectives to the situation most people won’t get it however because most people are followers and NOT free thinkers!! 🤦🏾♀️
Wait what?! That’s what you got out of this? He’s absolutely NOT standing on business FOR black women. He is definitely defending the assailants in the community if a woman isn’t going to call out the offense in a timely manner according to HIS timeline.
Wait what?! That’s what you got out of this? He’s absolutely NOT standing on business FOR black women. He is definitely defending the assailants in the community if a woman isn’t going to call out the offense in a timely manner according to HIS timeline.
@@OceanisInfinite I see where you’re coming from. I too am a survivor of SA as a child and understand that it is not always cut and dry when it comes to telling on your abuser. However, although I don’t agree with everything he said, still the overall message about outrage when it comes to Black women being victimized more than others and the selective outrage is to me apparent. You do not have to agree with everything a person says to understand where they are coming from.
@@adofominka8767y’all should support EACHOTHER enough to not have let it get to this point where a super predator is terrorizing ur black community, i think that it was Dr. Umar is trying to say. ppl are appalled by diddy yet let their friends, uncles and neighbors beat on their partners.
They care about Cassie because the media telling them to. Mind you, it's the same media that made Diddy the celebrity he is. The media has always known how he's been.
@lastsam9846 It's not just the media. It is own people who keep pushing this shit. Every time I log on RU-vid people are talking about Diddy and Cassie.
I agree that Black woman are beaten and killed a lot. The black woman next door was beaten beyond recognition than stabbed and then shot by her husband. It was horrific!
Well maybe if y'all didnt physically provoke & weren't so slick at the mouth. It would be less of y'all getting deleted. Lord forbid you women take accountability. For every action there's a reaction. Spin it however yall want. But when you mess with the bull, you get the horns.
@@C-Lyfe85 I’m talking specifically about black woman. Before I go any further I need to know are you implying that if black woman didn’t talk smart/slick than black men wouldn’t brutally kill us?
@@C-Lyfe85Being rude doesn't justify being murdered. You can almost always leave the relationship. You people are psychopaths who just want to degrade black women. Get a grip
I don't even listen to Umar, but to the people in the comments too simple minded to HEAR him CLEARLY say he's not defending Puffy..... YALL SMOKE TOO MUCH... Ya 🧠 dead. Comprehension skills non-existent. The dude said nothing outta pocket here.
😂😂😂 it really is disgusting in todays society. The amount of ppl who lack comprehension skills is grotesque. NOTHING he said was off-brand, yet ppl run to REMIX the entire dialouge. Ultimately, it's just hate. They put words in the mans mouth, or change the entire narrative. Like you said, he clearly disagrees w/ Puff, and is disgusted with his actions. I agree (like most critical thinkers do), with most these women being on a money grab. Like he said, if it was about justice, or righteousness, her goofy ass wouldn't have stuck around, and participated as long as she did. She wouldn't have waited til the last second to file "civil" and not criminal charges, IMO.
Everything is out of pocket you failed listening and comprehension yourself. What black community is he speaking about? As a whole no one in my community does any of those things mentioned. Grouping black people as a whole is like grouping everyone is a racist.
But at the same time he tries to blame the black community for questioning puffy actions and why they feel like that. He’s trying to tell us not question black men when they do wrong because we don’t question other domestic violence in our community, Why can’t he just say puffy was wrong and leave it at that. He’s just like white people who blame the victim when cops kill a black man and they bring up black on black crime.
@Mr.Oct___ For you to say that shows that you are clearly the damaged one. If you believe black women are damaged, who gave birth to you, then what does that make you?! If BW are damaged, then who damaged them? Our brother today are just lost. 😔
Dr Umar is a G for bringing up DV in black culture. It is prevalent across the board. Diddy’s situation is a representation of what is happening in today’s society.
Everyrhing you saying is right..white power has been going after the black wealthy man since the rest of time..R kelly, dave chapelle, puffy combs, wesley snipes, michael jackson, will smilth, martin lawrence, the temyations, whtney houston, Tupac, Biggie, Travon Martin, jame Fox Kanye west Prince, i dont see nobody going after Brad Pitt.beating on hos wife and kid,, george clooney Tom Cruise dont even see his daughter and probably had something to do with jame fox incident...robert deniro..elvis beat his waofe molester her too while she was still young
My momma told me that if you with a black man he gonna stomp off in your better understanding ie your a$$! Never understood why being taken care of by a black man automatically was a set up for an a$$ whipping
So many black ppl like to clown Dr. Umar all the time…. but a lot of y’all have to realize we as black folks NEEDS HIS VOICE💯 Dr. Umar doing some SERIOUS PREACHING on this one👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾💯💯💯
They do turn the other cheek. It is hypocrisy. I know some people right now who knew their black male relative was abusing his wife and causing problems and stress on his child and they did nothing. There is strength in numbers. Expose them all.
@@ronblackwell4439 correction I was never quite. I was very vocal. And I stood up and protected the victims and helped them both. That’s why I can speak on it. Who hand you helped? False accusations and statements don’t stand. You’re assuming very wrong. What’s evil is you and your comment. Replying cause you are looking for negativity. Don’t come for me.
Exactly and sadly, a lot of us witness and didn’t do shit or didn’t go to the police about it either. Ppl be cap in the comments and wanna come on social with straight hypocrisy
Thank you for standing up and speaking out. I said the same thing. You are the first and Only Blk man that I have heard speak on this matter. I too followed the news for past couple of yrs and our sisters are being murdered every other day! Dr. Omar I support you on this issue 1000%!
he has always been a powerful guy with alot of connections.. he knows nobody would touch his family. So thought's like that dont come across his head..
But that was Doctor Umar's point. Puffy is not the only one who has destroyed lives, Hollywood since it's Inception has destroyed lives. But too many of us don't want to talk about massa's business, Just tear down anything black is our jobs🤷🏿
'BOOOOOMBS'? 😂!! HE LEFT OUT HIS REAL NAME,ASK HIM WHENS THE SCHOOL HES BEEN BUILDING 4 TEN YRS LOL...TELL HIM U HEARD HIS OWN FATHER SAY THAT THIS SCAM ARTIST IS NOT EVEN AFRICAN HIMSELF 🤣!!!
@@Gorealaracer38 your irrelevant just as much as him. I was entitled to my opinion just like the other person who commented was entitled to theirs. If you see something you don’t like, just MIND YOUR BUSINESS! Cause i swear he’s not worried about you nor thinking about you just like how im not either . Be blessed 😘
Have you ever heard of Battered Women's Syndrome? There are so many layers and dynamics at play in domestic situations. They very well could love their abuser, that doesn't make them any less victims.
As a life long survivor of severe SA & DV, & now Certified DV advocate, I want to state that it is imperative to innerstand that when you are in the midst of these circumstance, there are often extraordinary threats made by the offender regarding what would happen if you try to leave or call or help. Survivors often wait until they are in an ABSOLUTELY safe, secured place to speak up, as doing so prior to SUCCESSFULLY escaping, could cost us our lives….& often has.
Yes because the way Diddy blew up Kid Cudi's car so easily I'm pretty sure he was threatening her saying he could harm her family too (her parents). So she was very cautious and treaded lightly.
Exactly! For Umar to be a Psychologist AND someone who says they saw their own mother experience DV...I can't believe that simple fact went over his head. Thats why when he talks I always side eye him. He says all of that stuff about DV and the black femicide rate just to turn around abd question victims about why they wait to say something. I don't trust him AT ALL.
I think one of the reasons DV is so prevalent in the black community is because Black Women are so busy trying to protect Black Men and vice versa. The black community just don’t want to get the police involved in anything until it’s too late. It’s really sad.
Thank you Dr. Umar! This really helped me because no one seemed to care when I went through terrible domestic violence that almost cost me my life and eventually my freedom.
If you listened to the black media you would know weeks ago. The white media kept it as quite as possible and put the focus on Puffy to turn the attention away from Weinsteins case
When I said this, people looked at me like I had 15 eyes..people are hypocrites and do not care about DV or rapists in the community enough. They like to victim blame consistently. Like to pick up for the uncles, bros and whoever they deem a "friend". Would rather protect abusers and blame the women.
What hypocrisy black men have not been talking about the Cassie alleged abuse. That's been the media in women complaining about it, so you guys are the hypocrites.
Women are abusers themselves & perpetrators of both crimes. Point us to your comment where you advocated for lil black boys who are abused by bw sessually & physically.. I'll sit here & wait.
He’s 💯 correct as black ppl we individualize and isolate too many incidents while suffering collectively. P Diddy 💯 should be held accountable. But as a collective body if we’re so upset then what’s going on in the black community should be frowned upon.
@@nocaptrucking8016 I never heard anyone I know brag about DV or promote it atually couples hide it from the public as much as needed in the cases I know about to say Black Americans are okay with DV is a lie and down right racist
Umar defense is really about the downfall of a black mogul. All this other crap he talking about is pointless. Domestic violence is just apart of the problem, we have a whole lot of issues, and most of it is economics. Then you have a man like Diddy who actually has the wealth but chooses to be a socially perverse deviant instead of trying to help spread the wealth. If only he hadn’t screwed other people out of money. Perhaps they could’ve built something for their communities to circulate money and help others with employment. But no!!! Men like Sean Combs abused their power and abuse other people! How you gonna work with all this talent and you’re the only one still standing, the only one getting achievement awards? And the only time he elevated was at the expense of other’s demise.
I am a black woman and I dont get it either. I don't support Chris at all. Lately I've been cautious who to support even black women bc their actions dont be lining up. Ive been burned in the past supporting other sista and having their back, then for them to turn around to snap on me to get back in foolish situations. Im very selective now who to support. Those women who support, I would turn a blindeye if they cried out about Chris B. bc they already knew like Teyanna Taylor for example.
@@soroyale7805 I agree. I’m much more selective and intentional about who I support, especially when it comes to these celebrities and their problematic behavior that informs a culture of a lack of accountability.
@@rawconscious3461 Well I'm Pan European and I care where I'm from. Nevertheless I respect Dr. Umar because he is Pan African. That's the way it should be.
The only issue I have with this interview is the part about Cassie. If u listen to other people who use to roll in Puffy’s circle, then you know many who tried to escape, or shed light on who Puffy was, got killed or disappeared. Cassie would have been afraid to go to the police. She would have been afraid to call a lawyer. We seem to forget that we are in 2024 now. In the 90’s, early 2000’s even as recent as 2012 and 2014, you simply couldn’t touch certain men. You just couldn’t. Time was on Cassie’s side. Meaning, we are living in a time now where what Cassie did is received by the public. Had any woman try to do this in the 90’s or early 2000’s to Puffy, black Americans would have blamed her and say she is trying to destroy a successful black man’s life.
People take money after being abused all the time. It’s not just about getting paid. It’s hitting them where it hurts, going after their pockets. Diddy also scared a lot of people with the power he had, that’s probably why she didn’t say anything back then. A lot of people weren’t trying to go after him at his height. Folks might end up on the news. Crazy!
She could’ve pressed charges when it happened, why didn’t she? You know how easy it would be to win a civil case if that person was convicted of criminal charges? None of these people are righteous
@@DM-sj4vu I thought that originally But then i saw of video of what happens when she tried calmly walking away. I don’t think going to the police was ever an option.
I don't care how long it takes this man to build his school or make a point this man drops logical GEMS each and every time that's why ten years after HIDDEN COLORS I still enjoy his on point insights. Thank you Dr. Umar!
@@alicecoker5229Some feel Justice is him getting his a** beat. Not everyone believes putting someone in a cage is going to help. But the authorities are working on that with her help anyway. She is cooperating fully.
✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 May God Bless our Brother, Dr. Umar!!!✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿 He’s bringing truth to the light!!! He’s always bringing knowledge!!!
Cassie did NOT call to report the ABUSE because she was busy getting HIGH on drugs. Just watch their videos throughout the years! She was happy with Diddy until he dumped her and the money ran out! Black men wake up….You’re being PIMPED!
@@mrsanderson3547I'm sorry. I was trying to figure out why she didn't go take the stairs. Why did she move so slow? It was just I don't know. Just run bitch 😂fuck that suitcase 😂
He ain't right and that black brother talk is outdated. I grew up around abuse and it takes a long time to come forward due to psychological manipulation and fear the predator place inside their victims.
🤨🤔! The truth hurts and a hit dog holla's! The analogy is 💯💯💯 FACTS! DV affects men and women of all cultures, classes, socioeconomic backgrounds! In Grandma's words: "It takes 2 or more to tangle and all involved play a part." " Accountability applies to everyone."
He’s articulate, but, he’s being hypocritical! He knows about domestic violence, but, keeps questioning why Cassie didn’t come forward when it was happening. He should know why. Why didn’t his family member come forward when it was happening? He’s blaming the victim just like so many others did, but, in a smarter way.
Puffy has done more than abuse women, so he definitely needs to go down. Let’s not forget the countless black men he screwed over and robbed throughout his career.
I understand what Dr. Umar is saying, but I want to add that, although he is correct that Cassie could have gone to the police at any moment, we need to remember Nicole Brown. Nicole Brown, O.J. Simpson’s ex-wife who was killed, went to law enforcement many times, but they failed her repeatedly. O.J. Simpson had connections with the department, and when Nicole complained about his abuse, they would often give him a slap on the wrist. He would be released, and the cycle of abuse would continue. The reason I bring up Nicole Brown is to highlight the correlation between positions of power and the challenges faced by women dating men of status, wealth, and celebrity. Nicole Brown was a white woman, and even she did not receive adequate protection from the system. If the system can fail a white woman, imagine how much more prominent this failure would be for a woman of color. We should acknowledge that even if women file formal complaints with the police about domestic abuse, the criminal justice system often fails them. We need to hold the system accountable for releasing these abusers. This failure can make the abuser even angrier, causing the victim to feel helpless. Therefore, we should be careful about suggesting that a victim could have done something differently when we don’t know all the answers. Numerous studies show that the criminal justice system frequently fails women in these situations, and the impact is likely even more severe for women of color.
I’ve heard of this man before. And it hasn’t been until THIS clip that now I’m a fan of Dr. Umar! I remember my aunt would sit in her living room while her son beat on his girlfriend in his room. I ran to get his girlfriend some help from her and she did absolutely NOTHING! I had to be no more than like 8 or 9 years old. Years later I had to witness that same aunt get jumped beat and choked but this time my aunt wanted me to run and get her help! Make that make sense! N E ways - I say all that to say that shiii has followed me my entire life and I absolutely hate it. I can’t watch certain things on tv or hear certain noises of bumps and gargling because I get major flashbacks and shi! So yeah, for me, this clip hits hard! I pray for ANYONE MALE OR FEMALE dealing with domestic violence! That’s some scary scary scary scary shii! God Bless!
That is a lot to digest. Do you think perhaps your Aunt was just glad, her son wasn't hitting her? Due to having to live with someone unpredictable and violent, your Aunt might not have felt safe in revealing this information to anyone, due to repercussions or felt like she had the power to change the situation? Again repercussions... Scary situation 😢 My heart goes out to you 💖
Cassie was signed to a ten year contract (which ended in 2017 -18) She honoured the contract (which many don't do) hence the huge rise in divorces. We all know what pain feels like (especially if you've grown up with parents who believe in beating their children to install discipline) yet we wait until we are old enough & strong enough to escape (there are millions of black people who have grown up in this scenario). Cassie escaped & she survived... It is far too easy to say "why didn't she leave", if you're not the one being beaten black and blue every-time you breathe incorrectly. Bless up
This is what I don’t get when women say stuff like this. Yall want to say men and women are equal yet yall want to ve treated with kid gloves. Women are old enough to make their own decisions. Nobody forces them to do anything. Men would never be able to get that off. Now men are mind controllers apparently smh
Wrong is wrong no matter who the man is doing the abusing I will admit as a black man I am hoping for the down fall of Diddy because he has ruined many lives & careers it’s pure evil it’s time for his karma.
Yes, Diddy is very wrong and no excuse to that. But the point is are we holding our own circles fully down when it comes protecting other Black women that are victims of DV?
