Eckhart Tolle's Guide to Overcoming People Pleasing | Eckhart Tolle Explains 

- I just want to let anyone who’s reading this comment to know; Awakening is not changing who you are, but discarding who you are not ✨

When the connection with family is violent, you must step away for your own protection. Whenever I came to visit my sister, she would verbally strike out at me. When I got up to leave she would hit me . Many times she did this till at 65 when it happened again, I stepped away for my own protection. Took me a bit to understand why I seemed to provoke her. She’s very unhappy in her life and her jealousy and resentment of me was too much. I stepped away from my whole family. Now I have peace in my life. The Chaos is still there with them and I am glad I left it behind.

I tried to fit in with friends & family for 30 years until eventually I came to terms with how stressed & dysregulated it made me feel. I couldn't truly be myself with them because they couldn't handle my difference. Through those years I questioned myself so much - am I avoidant/ anti-social/ what's wrong with me/ why can't I fit in/family & friends are important, shouldn't I make more effort ? This video is like balm to my soul. It helps me realise that there's nothing wrong with me just like there's nothing wrong with them, we're just on different paths and walking away is an act of self-love.

So true. You are not responsible for their anger. They are just conditioned to get angry and it doesn't matter what you do.

Wow.. This came at such a right time for me. I have been struggling with my family’s expectations and their constant comparison of me with my siblings, in terms of money, career and investments.. so much so that I started resenting myself and my family. However, I have different priorities - I don’t know if I can call myself “spiritually awakening”, but I choose to earn only as much as I need to live well, and use the rest of my time to do the things that make me happy. We have limited time on earth, what is the point in going on accumulating wealth only to realise later “Oh my life is over, I didn’t get to do anything I wanted.” I think this is the big picture view.

"You don't need to justify yourself."

I am a teacher. Recently, I felt so tired and exhausted and I realized that I was trying so hard to make all the students happy. I felt responsible to make every one of them happy. Then , I realized I was kind of depressed somehow. I realized that I am a people pleaser.

Less about People Pleasing and more about “Navigating how your close relationships evolve as you awaken spiritually”

Perfect timing I found this ! When the student is ready the master appears

This has been the hardest thing ever! After so much trauma and scapegoating, I was the one who left and changed and I am alone! So unfair and rue bitterness and hurt has been so hard! Anger and grieving, and before I die I want to have peace with it!

I feel guilty just because i feel that what i heard in this video is exactly what i was living. God bless you all and may we all find our way

For a few years now I have been going through a very painful and difficult transition, after realising that my relationships were built almost entirely on guilt and obligation towards other people, which I suppose could be called people pleasing. I ended a perfectly 'good' romantic relationship, which was and sometimes still is tough. And I am working up to telling a very manipulative, possibly narcissistic, parent that I simply can no longer be who they want me to be. I'm not expecting it to go down well. But since the epiphany that kick-started this whole process, I cannot bear to compromise who I truly am anymore. To anybody struggling with this kind of transition, please know that it's OK, this is just you blossoming into the person you were meant to be on this journey, this is just you shedding the parts of yourself you no longer need. Yes, you may hurt other people in the process but to live authentically is way better than lying to others and yourself. Stay grounded, know thyself, and do your work, even when it's hard as hell. I believe in you 💪

"Your happiness or fulfillment does not depend on any other human's acceptance of who you are. That would be a deluded thought."

Like many here, I’m living this especially with one sister right now. I’ve been spitting mad and resentful for days since I spoke to her for first time in a long time. “Compassionate acceptance” and recognize she’s still deep in her own conditioning and it has nothing to do with me.

I am a people pleaser too. The reason is I do not want to offend others. As a child in a complicated upbringing where ancestors are domineering, the young has no say. Brought up to seek validation from others. To be respectful even if I am wronged. To be very good in studies. When I was injured, a relative even wanted to give me a beating. Up till today, I still deal with others who are poor listeners who misinterpret words and are over sensitive to conversations. If I want to make them realise why others do not like them no matter where they go, I must talk in a discreet manner. It is hard work. I do enjoy quiet moments on my own. I learn to stop seeking validation. I detach my emotions from many things and learned to let go. I cannot expect people to know what is basic human rights.

An idea I have been playing with recently is: never do anything motivated by trying to impress others. I think it holds true. If you work on yourself and be true to who you really are that is itself impressive. Doing things designed to impress is simping, the motivation is external, unstable and false. It can't become a habit, so be conscious about breaking that habit

oh man! This was SO helpful. I left my family of origin b/c they were so controlling/religious, etc. I always felt different. Yet, I carried the huge guilt of having an amazing life while they stayed in their groups and never moved away. I can drop all of that now. Thank you so much for this video!

"Your sister married a millionaire and you're going nowhere with this meditation thing " was great! So common to happen in a concrete conditioned mind family, I can tell! 😣😂😂😂

I've just knew . My wife is living in so unhappy life .　I decided that I will never response unconciously for her blaming. Thank you so much.

When you truly awaken these questions fall away . You see what’s behind every being and it is what it is

I love Eckhart. He is such a gift to the world, and I love his hilarious sense of humor.

Everything seems to be going wrong until I recently met Eckhart's teaching. What a different space I now have in my thoughts. I am a supervisor at work and after my crew had met with my superiors on how they don't like me and shared their discontent, I almost had a nervous breakdown. I was under the impression my work has been great by all. I'm still new with Eckhart, but just today, I've been at peace.

A partners (or other close persons) ego can be dependant on sucking energy from the other. When that drained person starts awakening and the drama stops, the energy drainers ego can't stand it and becomes very uncomfortable and even more crazy without its energy source.

One of the most powerful concepts I discovered and work to embody is "what people think of me is none of my business."

Excellent video, thanks. My family don't talk to me at all anymore! Parents or Sibling. So Narcissistic.. it's heartbreaking as I've tried so many times to move forward despite what they've done to me, but they are not interested! It started with my brother and then drive a wedge between myself and my parents by brainwashing them after distancing from them and then his kids aswell later on for 20+ years in total, but once he divorced decided he still didn't want to have ANYTHING to do with me but used his kids to drive the wedge between myself and my parents! It's pretty sick tbh. I'm now the outcast black sheep of the family through no Real fault of my own, (aside from suffering a bad run of bad luck which led to chronic depression, (which also led to my spiritual awakening 4years ago) but instead of family support to get through the hardship and Suicidal Depression, got blamed and cut off instead! Told to "go kill myself & do everyone a favour" (by my own brother!!) Who then came between myself and my parents.. so been totally alone for 3 years! But what can I do!? - They're not interested! It's so heartbreaking I cannot even put into words. I don't hold grudges (but they do) regardless it's their fault mostly. Anyhow, thanks for making me realise I'm not the only one who had these family issues! Thanks from London 👍🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇬🇧☯️♾️✝️🙏

No justifying and explaining. Just compassion 💖💖💖

Thank you Eckhart ! Such a beautiful and free place to be…to no longer need the acknowledgment of others, to be in Joy ❤😊❤😊

Eckhart Tolle is my saviour I am truly grateful for his healing and teachings he has literally given me not only my life but peace. As I lie in hospital awaiting surgery I feel nothing but the calmness and peace that acceptance and living in the present moment brings. Thank you dearest Eckhart 🙏❤️

I needed to cut away from my mother. It's one thing to be asleep. Quite another to be mean-spirited. Projection Gaslighting Lying Denying facts Disrespect There is a time to stay, and there is a time to go.

Thank you Eckhart for this generous soul giving message! It's time for those of us... who have been the "punching bag" of the family, to divorce ourselves from the grip of those who can't see us for who we Truly are! It's a uniqueness that they don't understand and are not riding our vibration or frequency. Just move on and be the Best that you can be!! From a Vietnam Era Marine Corps veteran...

My God ! I cannot thank you more than anyone else on this page, tremendous blessings to you! Mr Tolle

I'm stopping to trying to make them to understand me. It's so tiring and stressful. This video came at the right time for me because it's exactly what I've been through in the moment. I'm just hand it all over to God, because from my part, there is nothing i can do about my situation and other people anymore. It's exactly what he said. To show people their own ego just work to streghnten it even more. When you stop trying, things can change.

Wise words. I've been completely totally misjudged by my close family, and it's painful, but seems impossible to change, so I just have to accept it's their problem, not mine.

To be blessed this lifetime to have the technology to sit indoors and listen to this incredible man, or read his books, is surely the BIGGEST blessing of this age of destruction, turmoil and fear. Eckhart Tolle has been a life changing, and hope bringing gift to us all. How VERY VERY blessed we who know about him are, Love and Light and Laughter to you all.

Watching this before I start my boring job waiting for a late train and crazy boss

This is one of my favourite videos , it's so true. I don't see my family anymore as I can't be myself , I have to pretend to be something in not , which takes too much energy .!! I'm considered the Eccentric one , crazy . Actually I think I'm fairly sane in a mad world as I want to know who I am & why I'm here & what is this place? 🙏🌌🙏💙🙏💞

This is so true and the weird thing is, once that happens and they feel loved and accepted anyway, you end up mysteriously becoming closer and being trusted in a way that you never were before.

I quit my job at social security services in Austria six years ago. A job where its almost impossible to get fired. No one understood my decision and still when i look back it was the best decision ever. Since then my live got so much better and right now i work for six months and travel for six months every year. I can only advise you: be brave and move on 🎉🎉 its worth it

Had so many seperations. But everytime there are other human beings who fits you😍. Sometimes it feels lonely to. But you are never alone. 💃🏻😍

The version of you that exists in the future deserves your belief.the version of you that exists right now deserves to be celebrated for all that you do.

These talks are very interesting and very educational.thank you Eckhart, I keep reminding myself that no one owes me anything, everyone is living their own lives the way they know how

Judgment is an issue I watch very carefully. Is so freeing to step away from negative people. It took me by surprise when I did it. It was so much easier then I thought. Thank you Eckart Tolle for your ongoing teachings. You are a true Blessing in my daily life.

I follow a few sides on RU-vid and i notice that the things that are spoken about are excactly what is happening in my life right now…. Syncronicity i think, but it happens every day ❤️

"Your happiness or fulfillment does not depend on any other human's acceptance of who you are."

Divine timing. I’ve been struggling to get along with one of my sisters… such a relieve to hear this… thank you so much for sharing your wisdom ❤

This is absolutely brilliant advice , guidance and teaching.... what a fantastic approach to the dysfunctional family dilemma in this world...thank you for your ever giving loving heart messages.. sincere, frank with such a gentle delivery💌

Thought is limited. Awareness is unlimited.

Such a wonderful message of love and acceptance from Eckhart. A thousand times thank you!

Ok , where do we draw the line between kind and hospitable and being a doormat ?

Real spiritual wisdom in one video 😍

Wow! This is the best explained way to forgive and heal!💝

I'm very guilty of seeking validation, acceptance and approval from specific people. It's hard not to. It feels very lonely only being ok with myself.

Thank you, this was so helpful ❤️ Something I need to try and remember instead of continually rewinding the hurts experienced from childhood and continue to this day. My Mother just turned 90 and although we speak several times a week and I feel quote connected with her, if we come together with my Sisters I can feel the distaste and unpleasantness in the air 😢 I suppose everyone wants and needs to feel valued by their family but my Dad was the only one who truly "got" me and now he has passed I feel this more deeply ♥️

Whenever I’m myself people look jarred at first but then I know it’s right and fun

A social crisis like a pandemic, war or a natural disaster makes everything more clear. It speeds people up towards more suffering, which is the main propellant of getting enlightenment. All this anger that is so manifest today is actually a good sign that human life will be much better for those that are suffering. I's the collapse of egoisticly conditioned thinking in yet another huge wave of human evolution. Towards long lasting peace on every level. Meditate togheter as much as you can is my advice. Thank you Team Tolle!

I can so relate to this, especially from my sisters.

My siblings parents and most of humanity would calls me lazy because I don’t work as much as they do to buy things I don’t need ! I don’t care most of the time but they do go out of there way to bring me down and feel guilty so thank you mr ekhaart I know what needs to be done

This could have been personally made for me ❤️‍🔥 My headband with speakers ran out of charge so I couldn’t listen to Eckart’s podcasts which I love. I was hungry for food and came across this particular episode quite by chance, or maybe not 🕉 My life seems to be changing going becoming more spiritually aware. It is like I’m going through a process of rebirth ❤️‍🔥 Eckart is most definitely a channeller of light.

" I was created in love. For that reason nothing can express my beauty nor liberate me except love alone." Mechtild of Magdeburg

Really you are GOD send exactly what I am needing now what emotional morning I had!😢🥰🙏 thank you 💜

What I find really difficult is why awakening is so painful 😢 I would love for Eckhart to address this more. It seems like the more I awaken the more pain body there is. I think Kim is good at this. I’d also really love to listen to her or him talk about betrayal

Feels like you are sharing my story. It’s still nice to feel validated by a spiritual great such as yourself❣️ YOU are so very loved!!! ❤️♥️❤️ Thank you, Elkhart!!!

❤ it’s very tough - boundaries are needed as well if there is toxicity….

This is very timely. And very welcome. Thanks and appreciation from London.

I agree totally with what you are saying . I find this to be totally true. Self love is accepting that you can not please everyone.but accepting them as they are. i love your words.

Eckhart, thank you for this specific talk, it’s exactly what I needed to hear and I feel like a weight was lifted! You are amazing 😊

When your doing what you love , it’s easy to not be a people pleaser

The true words of wisdom. Thankyou Echart.

Maestro Eckhart: Muchísimas gracias! 😊🙏💚

This video came exactly at the right moment. Thank you Eckhart.

Yet again, this is exactly what I needed to hear at this point in my life. You keep uploading content that aligns with my life

So grateful to have read this now. Synchronicity at it's most beautiful❤

Eckhart, I love you and I will be grateful forever for your teaching

Благодарю Экхарта Толле! Смотрю с переводом (субтитры). В любом видео нахожу полезное для себя!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Man this man’s words are wise, loving hearing him speak

Thank you Eckart. Always healing no matter what you discuss.

❤❤❤ The next message you need is always right where you are. Thank you, Eckhardt…you dropped in at the perfect time this morning with my current family issues. 😅

Thank you so much for your kind words☺

This is wonderful. Thank you. ❤

I totally relate to you. I am happy that I am at the stage you relate too, and feel empathy for the person that I am relating too. It’s a gift to get to this stage in which I totally appreciate.

I can't like this enough, thank you Eckhart Tolle!

Be loving, compassionate and kind; accept and understanding to others🙏🏻

Thank you Eckhart Tolle just what I needed to here and I am so grateful

6:10 There's an essence in them that's lovable 😊

Thank you so much Eckhart sir 🙏🏼

Thank you for explaining this! Freeing ❤

Some people please because they were made like they're walking on eggshells and they want to keep the peace, not because they want to be liked. What about this type of people pleasing?

Thank you, Eclhart.

yes I could totally relate to this. I have two sisters remaining. Our baby sister just passed January 6, 2020 at any rate out of the two left one sent me the book power of now and the other one we were raised Catholic. She just puts me down, but we talk on messenger not on the phone therefore we could get along. If we talk on the phone there is no talking on the phone. She triggers me we both start screaming in there for no one hears now on, but we get along great on messenger and you’re right I sent her love. Thank you so much.❤😂😂

I don’t know where I would be without the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle - or the wisdom that flows through Eckhart Tolle - I just realized both statements are probably true- regardless, I’m forever thankful 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

You put a new spring in my step 😭🥲😊🫠☺️

Thank you Eckhart, This was powerful! ✨

I feel like you were speaking directly to me.

Well said. So relatable, and such valuable lessons. Thank you.

Thank you. Right time for me. I feel this first. I don’t try to explain with family. I’ m in silence. And love them by the way I can. I know I think different, I see different. That is it. ❤ Sometimes I angry. But I always can take back to love

Well said just like Jesus, I walked today in nature today, what a rest, first walked. Then sat on a bench for 1 hour looking at nature and people, etc.

SO wise... Indeed it is exactly like that...If we are on the spiritual path the acceptance of the fact that one can be not accepted should be accepted.... True inner freedom is acceptance, surrendering to what happens....✨💓🙏✨

When we align ourselves with truth, we are automatically in service to others. And of course, the truth may be what they do not want to be part of. And in that case we must let them be as offended as they like until they awaken from ignorance.

My goodness for landing in such an eye opening video. Thank you so much, you are always amazing by helping people in the wisdom path❤

Thank you Ekhart 🙏❤️