this video is really short but i feel like u can get message it was more like understanding emily (kinda) pt. 1 : • emily gilmore moments ... Disclaimer: I do not own any of the video clips used in this video.
lorelai's graduation always makes me tear up because of the looks on richard and emily's faces, it says so much without saying anything at all - something gilmore girls always excels at
It always got to me as well, how at first lorelai was annoyed by how extra her mother was. Then when she saw them almost to tears, she then realized that they were just proud of her.
@@Emma-rr3kp she was upset that Lorelai would rather live like that than live with her. It really drove home how terribly Lorelai felt and how miserable Emily had made her feel.
@@Emma-rr3kp nah, Rory very proudly showed Emily the first place they lived. The fact that they were happier in a shed than if they had stayed with her. That’s why Emily walked away, she was hurt.
All of your responses are correct. It was a bit of everything. Emily was both mad and hurt. Primarily mad at herself for the pain and misery she and Richard caused Lorelai. She’s also hurt that Lorelai chose to live a humble life with Rory than have the exuberant financial support of her family. I think in her mind, she was imagining the hardships her daughter and granddaughter went through growing up. She probably also felt the guilt of having failed them both as a parent and grandparent….at that time I think we can all agree that while Emily, Lorelai, Rory, and Luke still bicker, their relationships with one another have vastly improved over the years.
She's just a lonely person who was taught how a family should be and tried her best to raise her daughter and show love the way she was taught. When it blew up in her face, she didn't understand what went wrong because her point of view was all she knew. It took another generation to help her develop the relationship with her family, but she tried continuously throughout the entire series and made some changes in herself.
@@visualhatefvck I was so pleased with the end the revival gave her, she's made a lot of mistakes but I genuinely believed she thought she was doing the right thing
I think Emily loves through control. It’s part a reaction to anxiety. But the people she loves most, she feels she needs to control for their well-being. It’s a bit narcissistic and def unhealthy but it comes from a not awful place. Except for the maid thing. That’s def from an awful place haha.
Yeah you can really tell that through her intention to make her family more elegant and under the shell of etiquette she’s a person with emotion and care for Lorelei. As much as Lorelei was not wanting to live the rich and elegant life she had care for Lorelei
Yeah… but I had a mother who was totally critical of me and didn’t offer any love. Just criticism and I still was not enough with good grades and proper manners. I moved in with my friend and her family when I was 16. I just told my mother and she said okay. And then when I was about age 24 she told me she cried so hard this one night when she realized I wasn’t ever coming back. Lol sometimes kids do need to leave to save themselves and parents well deserve to lose them. Obviously Emily truly does care about Lorelei and was just using control as she was taught, but I liked this show for portraying how lack luster relationships are with parents and children. Emily’s character grew and became a better person and mother(and my favorite character!) But she needed and deserved to lose Lorelei for those years to understand how hard it was for her daughter
My dad pointed out the scene the other day when she finds out Lorelei is engaged to Max because Sookie calls her about it. And then she goes and tells Richard to call to and apologize to Rory because he was awful to Dean. Then, she closes the door to his office, breaks down and cries. Yeah, that was a moment for me
@riti7074 All you triggered little girls calling Emily the villain are not only wrong but completely misguided. Setting rules & boundaries for your kids is what parents are supposed to do. Lorelai was rebellious and wanted things her way. She refused to follow even the basic rule most teenagers are taught about not having sx at 16. But she did & had Rory. And when Lorelai became a mother, she did what she wanted for Rory so turns out she was not any different from Emily after all. You need to grow up and thank your mother for what she did for you. No one is perfect.
Emily is a really polarizing character for obvious reasons, but she was the most consistently written and fascinating character in the series. Without her amazing arc in the Netflix sequel, it woulda been terrible
Her and Luke are my favorites because they both have that. Granted in completely opposite directions on opposite ends of the same spectrum. However Luke was always so stand pffish but he showed how much he cared when it came down to it and that was his priority. He may be stubborn but he was stubborn consistently. But Emily put her intention and interests above all else. She cared but how the girls affected her came first. She was self absorbed and couldn't see past her nose which meant no empathy/compassion. She never showed it. But they're both real people (or feel like it anyway) and I absolutely adore them for it.
I both hated and loved Emily's arc. I hated Rory and Lorelai for not stepping up more, they were useless. Sad that Emily only had the maid there for her and that some strangers family is who she was surrounding herself with. Just made me really disgusted with Lorelai. She's always going to be that immature 16 year old brat who only cares about herself.
i dont agree that she doesnt have self awareness. What she was doing was right but not for some for some people. We have a saying in our language, "You are just going that way but we already went past that". Lorelai made mistakes that her mother trying to correct but Lorelai tend to make those mistakes to learn from her own bc she don't want to make the easy route. Both of the characters are superb
If I remember correctly, Christopher's parents suggested terminating the pregnancy and Emily dismissed the idea out of hand. She accepted and loved Rory from the beginning.
@@AmyJLiang yeah that whole speech made me love emily. She knew it would hurt rory to hear what was said and came to her and told her no she isn't a disaptiontment. It is such a good moment
@@silencedogood9747wasn't it more because a termination was a taboo and more or less illegal ist most areas? It would at least bring shame over the woman and her family if the news spread. Richard suggested they would get married and Christopher would work in his company.
I love how Gilmore Girls isn’t afraid to show characters with blatant flaws. Everyone in this show is far from perfect, but that just makes it more real and relatable.
She wouldn't say it. She'd lie/be vague/invent a place for her daughter to be is how I imagine it. Mostly because enjoy didn't have genuine close friendships with bonding and hard truths and comforting each other at all. Emily cared more about her reputation among her friends than she ever trusted her friends to be there for her through anything. Her one and only confidant through tough stuff was Richard... And, ironically, occasionally Lorelai (maybe eventually Rory?)
It's Sookie's fault too.. she should have asked Lorelei too if she shared her big news with her mother when she knows that Lorelei has a rough relationship with them. Before you invite people to someone's bridal or baby shower, always should check with them if the main person whom you are doing this for if they shared their news with them.
Lorelai is always ready to point fingers, she did that to Luke in the revival. Accused him of hiding looking at franchise locations with Emily while she was lying about going to therapy.b
She was the saddest character in the show, she always tried to do her best and do good things for Lorelei and Rory but sometimes she was so afraid to lose them that she ended up making lots of mistakes. She must've been heartbroken when Lorelei left without telling them where she's going, Richard wasn't present and she raised Lorelei on her own. She was always so sad and lonely and I felt very bad for her throughout the series. I feel like Lorelei didn't appreciate her as much as she should've.
It’s more complicated than that, remember when she did not come home? Remember when she was other women? Remember the pool house? There are multiple times Rory makes difference choices, when baby comes there will be lots more.
Every time Emily does something "bad" to Lorelai I get mad at her but when Lorelai bites back (justifiably) and Emily's face falls and sometimes her lips quiver I'm like awh poor sweetheart. Like wtf? She just has that effect on me probably because Kelly Bishop is so brilliant.
I’m the same but I think I feel bad for Emily because she’s not as self aware, she doesn’t understand the error in her ways so I feel she’s not actually malicious just acting in what’s been familiar to her for over 50 years, it’s justifiable that Lorelai snaps but I also can’t help but feel confused as to why Lorelai doesn’t recognize her mother’s antics as being natural and not inherently malicious, I think she’s a bit biased, also do you know the reason she left them the note? I always wondered why she left, her parents seemed upset about the pregnancy but ultimately accepted it so I couldn’t understand why Lorelai left what’s your take on it?
@@lordthetir I agree about Lorelai being biased. I feel like Lorelai, especially in the beginning, was introduced as someone who can get along with pretty much anyone (the whole town loves her) and tends to cut people some slack when necessary, so I find it difficult to understand why she can't extend the same curtesy to her own mother, at least some of the time. I've always had a bit of a hard time imagining what her childhood was really like. We are made to believe that it was awful, her parents were unbearable, she didn't fit in their lifestyle, etc. Which I don't doubt is true to a certain extent but I don't think she is a completely reliable narrator. I think the episode Dear Emily&Richard where we see some flashbacks clearly shows that. She always talked about how she embarrassed them and how she had to leave when in reality her leaving broke their hearts. I honestly don't know why she left the way she did. She stated once that she was very unhappy and needed to be someplace else and I get that but I don't think that is a reason enough to literally run away with their granddaughter and cut all ties with them. That's why I wish we knew more about her childhood so we could understand exactly what led up to that decision.
@@sarasara6253 I completely agree, maybe it’s just one of those cases like real life where things just happen and it’s a blame on each person yet each individual doesn’t want to recognize they all played a part in being faulty. I wish we could’ve seen more of her childhood as well.
@@lordthetir Exactly. Plus it seems to be hard for Emily and Lorelai to recognise what the other is feeling right of the bat. The realisation always comes later on. Part of the reason why I always felt more for Emily in this situations that they found themselves in is Lorelai had a much better support system. The only person Emily could go to was her husband and I'm not sure if that was always enough to bring her comfort. What do you think?
@@sarasara6253 absolutely I agree with that, Lorelai had built up what I see as genuine friendships and loyalties with people like Luke, Sookie, Michelle, her neighbors, fellow civilians and ofc her daughter Rory, where as Emily had “show” relationships and friendships, all of Emily’s were prone to being singular minded even amongst each other due to their social circles inclination to care more about appearance and reputation, and Richard wasn’t always exactly the best listener, it’s easy to see why Emily would get frustrated and go on crazy shopping sprees to express her emotions via commanding workers and being a bit rude and disrespectful, no doubt Lorelai’s support system is far better and more genuine, I really feel for Emily because as an older woman her household applies older rules and beliefs “woman handles home, husband works and provides” so I can see why Richard and her didn’t communicate as much, definitely love each other in their own ways but listening is a bit faulty between them
I somewhat agree with her. You should be mother and role model for your children, but once you start getting into the teen years you should work on a friendship aspect. As they become adults, they shouldn't be treated like children for two reasons: 1. Because they're very capable and naturally becoming more independent (otherwise you risk them becoming adults that are mentally children, or they resent you for never allowing any independence). 2. Because you will struggle to maintain a healthy relationship with them if you treat them as such. I like Lorelai and Rory's relationship but if I were her I would have reversed how to handle the roles. They should be mother and daughter first and best friends section, not the other way around.
Complicated relationship but it requires them both to work on their communication. Creating a supportive and open space about talking about subjects that are really important.
As I've gotten older (I'm almost Lorelai's age now!) I no longer really sympathize with either Rory or Lorelai as I did when I was younger. Instead, I feel myself rooting for Emily which is strange because she couldn't be more unlike me. Even though Lorelai has accomplished a lot since leaving Emily and Richard's home, I get the sense that she is still in some "arrested development" and eternally sixteen. Yes, she is able to raise Rory and their buddy-buddy relationship works for as long as it did because it was an unhealthy codependent one in which Rory acted as the responsible adult when Lorelai couldn't. We know that Emily had very strong guards around her, made even worse by the fact that Richard's mom never liked her (the First Lorelai), and perhaps some of that scrutiny and bitterness fell towards her daughter. But Emily gave Lorelai the space she wanted but also was always there for her daughter despite it all.
You mean like when she single-handedly tried to sabotage Lorelai & Luke's relationship by manipulating Christopher into showing up at the vow renewal in a half-baked plan to sweep Lorelai off her feet? Or how about when she took it upon herself to contact Christopher shortly after he settled down with Sherry after learning of her pregnancy all in the hopes that Loreali could convince him to ABANDON his fiance and UNBORN CHILD?! All so Lorelai could end up with her blue-blooded high school sweetheart/baby daddy from "good breeding" because EMILY thought that was the best match! That way, EMILY could finally have the "perfect family" she always dreamed of! Was that her "being there for her daughter"?! Was that the "space" she was giving her daughter? Bitch, please! 😄😅😂🤣
Let's not forget that she also pulled the same stunt with Rory! She actually put a pause on her "separation" with Richard to put on a happy couple face and throw a grand party in Rory's honor. A party that only featured young blue-blooded guys from equally "good breeding" being literally THROWN in Rory's face! All in the hopes that she might latch onto one of them and dump her dirt-poor "loser" boyfriend, Dean. Was that her "being there" for her granddaughter? Or was that her merely trying to mould the poor and impressionable girl in her image? After all, we all saw what became of Rory chasing after one of those blue bloods from "good breeding," now didn't we?
For the record: I am NOT defending the train wreck that was "Rory & Dean 2.0"! That storyline NEVER should've happened! They should've ended his time on the show with the wrap-up of the cheating fallout! Although, I did appreciate his last episode full of friction with Luke and his very telling insight into the Gilmore Girls. Moreover, I very much appreciated your viewpoint of considering the psychological effect that "First Lorelai's" abuse had on Emily; how she had trouble controlling where she put all that rage and pain. And most importantly, how it affected how she saw herself as a mother... and what she might've wanted to do differently, but couldn't see through.
I always felt the main issue between Lorelei and Emily was they were too similar. They both have very big personalities and there were times when the show did point out, no matter how much Lorelei might not like it she was like her mom. For instance, whenever we saw people from Emily and Richard’s circle they would comment how much Lorelei was like Emily, and the times Emily interacted with people in her own world you could see aspects of Lorelei’s personality. I think the reason Emily was critical of Lorelei was because she could see herself in her and she doesn’t understand why she could never just get with the program and do what was expected of her. After all, Emily was able to do it so why can’t Lorelei? As a side note I think the reason Lorelei and Rory were able to get on so well was because they had different personalities. For all the superficial things they had in common Rory was an introvert who didn’t like to be the center of attention. She seemed more then comfortable being in the background and observing things around her. I think if Lorelei had actually had a daughter like her she would have struggled a lot more.
I actually love Emily (apart from how she treats poorer people) and one of my favourite scenes from her is when she goes to tell Lorelai that she needs to compromise to maintain a relationship when Lorelai was married to Chris. She has a lot of morsels of wisdom to give. I also loved when she told Richard to apologise to Rory because Lorelai was getting married and didn't tell them. Emily knew the importance of relationships perhaps because of losing Lorelai. And watching her cry as she came back from her date with what'shisname (when separated from Richard) always makes me cry too - although I don't fully understand why she cried after having a seemingly good time, other than perhaps it made her miss her good times with Richard and realise that she wants to be a wife not date around. She puts on a tough exterior but she is so human. I would want to hug Emily if I wasn't poor lol she would be like why r u breathing my air
Yes, that scene always stuck with me too! It always made me think of how hard it is when you've been in a relationship for so long to start over. Especially when such a big part of her identity was being his wife.
Lorelei took Emily for granted, and froze her out when she could. Emily was the best, if Lorelei took a second to understand her mom she would've had a better relationship with her. But everything had to be on her terms. Even if it cost Rory a better chance at experiencing the privileged life her grandparents could give her, she hated, so obviously Rory would too, she should've taken a step back and given them a chance to bond while she was growing up
@@kreativebunny6822 Emily can be harsh and conservative but Lorelei was super ungrateful most of the time and always wanted things to be her way, she would do things on purpose just because Emily wouldn't like it, ignore Emily's calls and make the friday night dinner look like a harsh "job" for her to keep up with when it was just her mother trying to participate in her life (which she spent the last 16 years out of)
I just realized Emily was relaxed about the Maid in the beginning scene. I wonder if she began having a maid problem after Lorelai left because she needed a sense of control ?
Emily is not perfect, can be thoughtless and hurtful. But she's a mother and a person doing the best she can. I loved the reboot when she changed her life and perspective. People change, their lives change, and you always have the choice to change.
Honestly, the memories episode should be more memories and least present or having more memories episodes, to give us a more completely perspective of how Lorelai felt about being alone with Rory
Emily is a very well-written character (actually all of them are), and Amy Sherman Palladino is a very good writer who can write subtly/subtexts that the actors can convey with brilliant and often understated acting. In Season 7, Amy had left the show and lesser writers had taken over. In Ep 15 "I'm a Kayak hear me roar" Emily is uncharacteristically verbose, and explains that life is like a Canoe, and she was partnered with Richard so that both of them could steer the canoe. But Loralei was in a Kayak - she was able to steer her life independently, without a partner. I like that Emily acknowledges Loralei's independence (and her own dependence) in that scene, but it was uncharacteristic of Emily to be so open...
Honestly, the scene with Lorelai's graduation made me annoyed at Lorelai more than anything else. Lorelai has a compulsive need for people to like her, even if they were near-perfect strangers she was meeting for the first time at her graduation and would likely never see again. Emily and Richard were so freaking proud of her and they wanted to show her that. Lorelai already knew their love language is gifts and big events, so all their efforts should have been taken as a sign of their love. While it may have been a little over-the-top, Lorelai sitting there putting down all their efforts talking about "rich people" just so she could fit in with her peers for five seconds instead of proudly stating, "Yeah, my parents are a little embarrassing but look how much they love me" made her seem incredibly immature for someone supposed to be in their mid-thirties at that point.
Even if she "knew" their love language, it doesn't mean she has to put up with it! And for that matter, why don't Richard and Emily bother learning HER love language?! Oh wait, I forgot, by your logic, everything that goes wrong in their relationship is Lorelai's fault! 😂
And why is it so terrible for her to want to fit in with her working class peers? She always identified with that cultural mindset more, that's EXACTLY why she left her parents' home (and world) to begin with! The fact that her parents brazenly hijacked literally HALF of the entire auditorium without a shred of consideration for any of the other students or THEIR families and the fact that THEY might want to be able to cross the stage and have some photo or video ops during the ceremony without an entire camera crew bumping them around, equipped with industrial stage lighting burning into their faces says a lot more about THEIR maturity level than Lorelai's! And frankly, yours as well!
Btw, Lorelai did show some maturity and consideration for her parents earlier in this episode, which you clearly missed. She didn't want them at the graduation NOT because of spite or embarrassment, but because she felt that her throwing their dreams of a privileged future for her in their faces would upset or overwhelm them by inviting them to what might be perceived as a trivial accomplishment and a painful reminder of her wasted opportunities. And as you can see from the clip, she wasn't entirely wrong. They became far more emotional than anticipated, but of course, it was due to pride and the joy of finally having their moment of watching her graduate from SOMEWHERE! So, while ultimately, I don't agree with her decision not to invite them, it still shows a great deal of insight and self-awareness on Lorelai's part. In the end, she was concerned about THEIR feelings every bit as much as her own! You certainly can't say the same about them! You can jump off that tired-ass Loreali hate train and have a seat now! 😁
Her and Luke are my favorites because they both have that. Granted in completely opposite directions on opposite ends of the same spectrum. However Luke was always so stand pffish but he showed how much he cared when it came down to it and that was his priority. He may be stubborn but he was stubborn consistently. But Emily put her intention and interests above all else. She cared but how the girls affected her came first. She was self absorbed and couldn't see past her nose which meant no empathy/compassion. She never showed it. But they're both real people (or feel like it anyway) and I absolutely adore them for it.
I really feel bad for Emily but sometimes I question. If I was really about to lose my daughter I would stop trying to be pretentious and actually listen to what she has to say.
one of the most devastating parts of A Year in the Life for me was that Emily was left out of Lorelai and Luke's wedding. She would have been at the public ceremony sure, but they didn't bring her to the elopement. And it's a real shame, because I think that would have been a great way to show how much Lorelai and Emily had progressed in their relationship, and how they were making a genuine effort to understand one another, after years and years of estrangement. Lorelai agreed to tell Emily a deeply personal story about her relationship with Richard, something that required a really deep level of vulnerability that felt totally unnatural to her. (I am not entirely convinced that that pretzel story actually happened, I just know that Lorelai knew it was what Emily needed to hear). It would have been appropriate if Emily had responded to that act of love by doing something that was kind of out of the ordinary for her - like being present at an elopement that was not scheduled or conventional or "proper" but that absolutely did make her daughter happy. It would have shown how much Emily had grown, and that she was willing to embrace the daughter she had, regardless of whether she stuck to social conventions.
Emily (and Paris) is the best character in the show, certainly the best written. I love her and while her values don‘t exactly with mine I can empathize with her brand of repression and confinement to what was instilled in her (and confinement to herself) way more than I can with entitled Lorelai and Rory
Omg!!! It’s Lorelei. She’s the one who cuts everyone out when they disagree with her. She did it with Emily, Christopher and then Rory. If people disagree with her she ices them out. She almost did it with Sookie. She’s the spoiled one.
Emily ist sehr verletzt das Loreley lebt ein glückliches Leben und versteht nicht warum sie nicht ein Teil davon sein kann . Es von außen zu beobachten ist lustig, so etwas selber zu leben bricht einem das Herz.
I like how the revival bring back these moments where the fact Lorelai left with Rory alone does hurt, in the last seasons they didn't do it, and I didn't like it because is something that always is going to hurt REVIVAL SPOILERS: When Rory visits Cris and asks how does he felt about that, she is heartbreaking because her dad never fight for her
Me & Emily have a special relationship together we have so much in common together. Emily Gilmore is my Girlfriend I love you Emily I well keep you safe with me
Emily wasn't perfect but I feel like Loreali villanised her too much. Emily did her best. Loreali didn't really give her a chance nor did she try to understand her point of view at all. Like we all have flawed parents get over it.
My mom is exactly like Emily, I’m not much like Lorelei I have a much higher tolerance for her BS. The other day I mentioned something about walking in the graduation ceremony when I get my masters and she said “is that important to you?” Ive spent three years of my life killing myself graduating top of my class working full time getting a full ride and she acts like it’s nothing? That hurt
She's probably the biggest deal for this Show, she's that awful to like everybody, I fucking hate her behavior but then again, I feel endlessly sad for her because deep inside, we all can feel she has a heart but just can't change herself. She's a prisoner of her own. Great character!!!
Perorally I think Emily was a good Mum. And was the best Mum we got to see being a fully being a parent and not in the background of the show. I would be fine if she was my Mum.
Yeah, she has her shortcomings particularly in her communication but I think a lot of them are the result of being afraid of rejection. Perhaps controversial but IMO she was a far better mom than Lorelai and the only reason Lorelai and Rory were close is b/c for the most part Rory behaved how Lorelai wanted and followed Lorelai's life plan for her. By contrast, Lorelai was the total opposite of how Emily (and likely Richard) expected, constantly bucked their social norms, and actively did things to embarrass them out of spite. And how do both Emily and Lorelai handle the disparate relationships with their daughters? Emily does her best to maintain a relationship, is there for her daughter and granddaughter when in need (even if God forbid she asks for some of their time when doing so), reacted to a teenage pregnancy by keeping Lorelai there and taking care of their grandbaby in their home (until Lorelai ran away without a word), etc. Lorelai reacted by pushing back against any suggestion of deviating from her plan for Rory, placed blame everywhere else but at her and Rory's feet whenever Rory was less than perfect, and the moment Rory did something she didn't like and she couldn't deny it was Rory making those decisions she cut Rory out of her life and refused to speak to her until Rory went back to Lorelai's plan for her. Ultimately if Emily and Richard were on par with Lorelai on parenting they probably would've dropped her off at an orphanage at 7 and never saw or spoke to her again.
I think she was the nicest gillmour, and that Lorelai is the one who always hurt and spoke badly even behind her parents' backs who always tried to get closer and help in any situation. and worst of all she did it next to her daughter who learned from her how to be rude. Lorelai is a classic example of arrogance and disrespect for parents. PS I don't understand how Kelly Bishop didn"t win emmy award for her performance in the series.
Is it just me or like everyone thinks she wants to replace Lorelei with Rory but I think she just wants Lorelei to know how hard it was for her to go though
sometimes i really feel lorelai was a tad too dramatic about emily like... she wasn't abusive or intentionally bad her heart was mostly always in the right place it's just lorelai always ALWAYS painting her as a devillish cruel woman LIKE imagine having to strike money deals w ur daughter just so she has lunch with u contrary to what the whole fandom believes, lorelai never treated emily right IMO
And in my opinion Emily didn't treat Lorelai right. What kind of mom breaks up her only daughter relationship oh that's right Emily did it. What kind of mom puts her kid down in front of her kid oh again Emily.
She love her ,, She was tough. But there are more terrible things in life to runaway when ur a teenager,,,, than emily and her father ,,, she didnt care ,,, selfish selfish
she was the protagonist of the show to me she helps lorelai shine. lorelai was as control freak and manipulative as her mom with the difference that lorelai was a rebellious child and rory was a puppet emily was a good mother and grandmother.she protects her own. all she has wanted from them was to be in their life.her méthode maybe wasn't the right ones but lorelai didnt gave her other options. They always pushed her away.they were very rude to her sometimes, judgemental, ungrateful to say less. True is lorelai always want to play the independent woman who needs no help from her parents but all the big things she ever accomplished in her life was with their help. ex; chilton, the loan for the house, yale , even the hotel was bought with the money richard gave her. Just to say that both rory and lorelai was 2 ungrateful little brat.do i hate them ? no, do i understand their point of view ? Of course yes but i dont celebrate everything they have done. and also i try to not see the show through their perspective of things
Interesting how Lorelei had drive, ultimately fueled by her mom & Rory had zero idea of reality. She had ambition to live a dream without the drive to tough anything out. Guess that's something that can happen when you're praised constantly & never told you should try something else. Emily wasn't delicate, but she communicated.
I always thought the fact that Lorelai was Rory's best friend was pathetic. You can love your mother unconditionally but she's not your friend. Friends and family are different. Yes, you can choose your friends as a real family if what you had isn't healthy, but the person who would represent your parents (either it's the "original" one or a chosen one) would do things that sometimes you won't agree with. And it always be for on your best interest. Friends play a different role. Rory was unable to connect to people in a healthy way, She was friends with Lane. However I always felt Rory wasn't a good friend to Lane. She was always waiting for Lane to shutup so she could start talking about herself. Her relationship with Paris was extremely disfunctional. The only time she managed to make good friends was with those 2 girls that fight with her over a guy.
I think that Emily was a very good mom. I have always felt that Loralai was very immature and childish even as an adult. She never appreciated nor respected her parents, she could have tried to approach them, talk to them yet she was the "rebel" and chose to contradict them at every step. You can see how reasonable parents they were via their relationship with Rory. All parents might have some demands of their kids, but it was obvious that those two were trying to do what they thought best for Loralai. I have always found Loralai too ungrateful and entitled. An uprivileged child would have appreciated what it was offered to him/ her.
I feel like the fact that Lorelei and Rory are best friends 1st, mother daughter 2nd is part of why Rory didn’t turn out as independent and driven as Lorelei. She talks a lot of smack about her mother’s critical nature but I can’t help but think it helped contribute to Lorelei’s need for independence which ended up driving her to become a successful business owner. While I’m sure there are many negative issues that resulted from Emily’s parenting methods you can clearly tell that it helped Lorelei develop thick skin and a drive to prove herself. Rory however driven academically was derailed whenever things became too difficult and completely lost it when she was criticized by Mitchum, going so far as to spiral out, committing a crime and dropping out of college. She wasn’t used to being told no or criticized often because her mother was always trying to be a supportive best friend.
Pretty much yes. Lorelei had to work to get what she wanted even with her background and parents connections. No one really helped her because she wanted to do it on her own. She did developed thick skin that helped her stand more on her own when facing challenges and it never stopped her. Now Rory, alot of things she wanted were handed to her. She never faced challenges because someone was there to shield her from it. So yes when she was criticized by Mitchum, she couldn't handled it like most snowflakes who never heard the word no and gotten everything they wanted. You're not suppose to be best friends with your parent and Rory got less out of life with Lorelei being her best friend than her mother.
That's not really applicable to everone. Yes Lorelai had independence and drive and she had a strict mother. Christopher did not achieve independence or drive despite having strict parents. Correlation doesn't imply causation. People are just different.
"Why cant we have what you and rory have?" Always breaks me bc emily sounds so innocent, bc of her lack of self awareness, she genuinely doesn't understand why she and lorelai have such a disconnection
That scene always gets underscored to me that Lorelei had never grown up. That was a teenager’s reaction. Same with the one right after. Lorelei is in her mid 30s and has never matured or taken accountability for how her actions impacted her family. I know a lot of girls I. Real life whose mothers tried the Lorelei best friends first thing. They thought it was great, but the pressure I saw it put on them was immense and unfair. They felt responsible for their mother’s well being because that is how best friends go. Don’t get me wrong, Lorelei is a good person, she just had too much hubris and plenty of flaws. As many people do. And she could have shown her mother more compassion.
@@lauriecarson6483 Why hello Rory! Would you tell your s from your perspective what the reason was for your massive regression after high school followed by near total absence of responsibility after college? Also, would you say your mother’s unwillingness to commit to her most supportive relationship was a significant factor in your draw to men already in committed relationships?
Honestly, I feel as if Emily Gilmore gets more vindicated the older I get. She had a sense of duty and responsibility for her family, which within the larger context of what was going on with Lorelei when she was growing up, created a lot of clashes. However, it was clearly done with the intention of preparing Lorelei for the tough world ahead. And even when Lorelei stumbled, despite Lorelei saying really awful things to Emily, Emily never lost sight of her responsibilities as a mother. Pretty much everything she did, she did for her family, whether trying to maintain their social standing or helping them out when needed. She was genuinely selfless when it came to her family. I just think Emily didn’t know how to communicate this to Lorelei as a teen, and couldn’t really deal with a daughter that was strong headed and confrontational, in large part because Lorelei is so very much like her mother. Each generation of the Gilmore women want nothing more than to be sure their daughter is happy, and each go about it in the way they see best forcibly. You could bet, if we do get another special, Lorelei will probably start to become so much less Emily.
I’ve always felt Emily and Lorelai were much more alike than either wanted to admit. Richard’s passing was the emancipation of Emily. She discovered she was kayak, just like Lorelai.
3:15 "We are best friends first" is an incredibly toxic relationship between a parent and a child. I'm not saying you can't be friends with your child or the two of you can't enjoy your company, but your first job should be to PARENT your child. To constantly look out for their best interests and discipline them, things that friends don't need to do.
I believe that 100%! I think parents need to parent until maybe around age 18, then the parenting can step back and be a bit more friend-like. My mom and I are like that and it works for us!
And Lorelai did just that MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the show! Where do you guys keep getting the impression that she was a bad mother?! Treating your kid with respect, allowing them their privacy, and sharing their interests is NOT "toxic"! 😂
The older I get, the more I lean towards Emily's side. As someone who grew up with a mother who has a "buddies first, mother second" mentality, I can honestly tell you that it doesn't work. Having to be the adult one in the relationship sucks. Lorelai was more open minded and I think that's why she is the more appealing character for most people, but at the end of the day she was just like Emily. She had her strong personality and sense of humour, but she also forced Rory into the life SHE thought Rory should want. Whenever Rory tried something different, or wanted to be closer to her grandparents and the life she didn't want, Lorelai snapped in some way. Oh and Emily's final arc in the neftlix show is what made the final series worth it. Rory sucks, and Lorelai didn't really grew up that much during the years we missed.
I grew up with an Emily. It was awful. It still is awful. Your kids aren’t an extension of you and they will run when you treat them as such. A mom is supposed to raise a child to be self sufficient and that includes being a shoulder during the tough times. People can’t learn self sufficiency when they are smothered.
I grew up with a Lorelai and while it looks cool on the outside, I had to do all my raising myself because my mom was busy being my friend when she should be an authoritative figure to give me discipline and guidance. I didn't know how to be accountable because I got away with everything.
@@tatinesaenzk I think when we are younger we all want freedom, so it's cool to have "a cool mom". But when you are older you realize structure and discipline ARE important and it leads to a serious of issues as an adult that aren't cool and fun anymore. Balance is important. I think that is part of the reason Rory failed as an adult, she didn't have any self awareness and couldn't properly interact with the real world. I think Emily was too harsh, but Lorelai was too lenient.
@@tatinesaenzk just because your life was like that.doesn't mena everyone is like that. People handle it differently. I know alot of single parents who had their kids at 16 or 17 who was best friends with their kids and did so much for them. Nothing lwrong with it.
@@lauriecarson6483 I'm not generalizing, just agreeing with the original comment since we both obviously had the same type of young parent. Good on other young parents who did right by their kids. I'm just saying that while there are people who did it right, there were people who didn't, too. Us and the poster weren't as lucky.
Actions have consequences. Yes, she didn't know better and made mistakes in the past. That's fine. But then she knew better and still made mistakes. Her ego was more important than her relationship. This is on her.
@@anechkagee5372 yes i know. But she tried to be better but didn’t know how sometimes. As she said, she was told to be a role model for her daughter and not a friend. And I think she couldn’t just let go of all she learned about parenting that easily. It’s hard to question everything you’ve done without drowning in guilt.
Emily wasn’t perfect- but I 9/10 agreed with her when she fought with Lorelei. Lorelei was selfish and only cared about what she wanted. She did that with her parents, romantic interests, and her friends. And while being friends with your daughter is a good thing, you SHOULD be their parent first. She wanted a buddy- and Rory never learned to handle life on her own. Keeping Rory and Emily distant for years was wrong.
I agree with you about Lorelai wholeheartedly. But what interests me about this is that she gets it from Emily. Emily can't push past her own emotions to have empathy for anybody else. Which is why I always found it ironic when Lorelai hated being compared to Emily or insisting they were nothing alike when they're only real huge differences were tastes and parenting. They were both judgemental and selfish. Lorelai just learned how to treat employees.
That scene always made me cry because I had the exact same conversation with my mother. I remember being 6-7 and she had told she wouldn’t be my friend because she was mother, and mothers weren’t friends. I do think there should have been maybe a bit more discipline in lorelai and Rory’s relationship, and it certainly wasn’t perfect, but I think most of the flaws Rory developed were not developed from lorelai (except how horrible she was at romantic relationships) but rather a lot of her experiences in college. As far as Emily and lorelai, I think Emily holds just as much if not more blame than lorelai. Yes, a big element is that Emily is a product of how she was raised, but when their relationship never worked she should have started exploring other ways, admitting her own blame, and collaborating with lorelai on how to be a better mother to her. Instead she just insults and dismisses lorelai’s feelings.
@@lauriecarson6483no one said it’s something we can decide or not ! Don’t twist them words ! And actually it is NOT a good thing ! A mother should be a mother in first place … And yes it is deep cause it can affect the child a lot, even tho luckily it didn’t a lot with Rory… Also no one said that she is a bad mother … If that’s the next thing ure trying to shove down our throats …