I'm 57. I have always given myself way too much to do. Exhausted, I took a long look at what was important and REALLY needed doing. 1. Food Shopping, Making meals and clearing up after. 2. Exercise 3. What NEEDS doing today - what has a deadline, eg paying a bill or buying a birthday card / gift. Everything else can wait until those are done.
One thing someone said that has served me well as a parent of 2 young children: imagine you are your 70 year old self looking back at this moment in time and thinking “how do I wish I would have responded?” It gives perspective in that the daily challenges seem so much smaller, but the impact of how I choose to respond can last a lifetime.
I struggle with this so much. I don’t know how to fix it. I read so many self help books and as soon as I close the book it all goes out the window. I feel like when I get angry my brain shuts down and I forget everything I taught myself. It’s such a struggle.
This was so comforting and informative, thank you ❤ I have had a rough time as a younger mom, but I made up my mind to just show up every day and do my best, very slowly things have been getting better and I am learning resilience! Thank the Lord!
The same feelings and circumstances here!! I have a toddler and I'm due any day with our second, I don't struggle with the toddler so much, but I struggle a lot with having a good attitude towards my husband!
Same. Being pregnant while caring for a toddler has forced me to dig deeper than ever before, but it's also beautiful in that way. God is forging us into more virtuous Christians.
Thank you so much for this time together. I learned so much about myself and you really helped me. My kids are in their 40's and so I still have baggage. This video is such a blessing to me, thank you.
I am so thankful to have found this podcast on mom anger and dealing with it! My kids are 10 years apart and I had few issues with my relationship with my oldest. Now with my youngest we seem to clash all of the time and it has been very sad, stressful and frustrating. This gave me hope we can work thru it with Gods help and the right tools. Thanks so much for this topic and information. God Bless!
Thank you so much for doing this episode!!!❤❤❤ I definitely have been wrestling with this issue more or less for a LONG time. I sometimes sing very loudly in order to deal with my anger impulse.😅
This talk was very emotional for me. Thank you girls so much. But i wanted to comment that kids are generally not ok today. Most parents are not there for their children and that is a big reason why the kids act out.
Always mention anger issues to your dr. Twice my dr was able to find something through bloodwork and fixing it really made everything manageable and I didn’t have to always end up angry.
Wow I’ve never heard a mom be so honest about this and I know God spoke through the both of you. I am exactly in this spot right now. It’s embarrassing and overwhelming and It’s also affecting my marriage. Two nights ago i totally lost it and was just left begging God to walk me out of this season. I had such awful thoughts of myself and truly was blinded by the enemy of all the wonderful qualities God has given me in my motherhood walk. Thank you Natalie and thank you Lisa.
One of your best episodes. Every woman thinking of being a mom to the experienced moms should listen. We all hit our limits, but with God’s grace we can overcome. Great tips!
I needed this more than I knew I did! I'm a screaming stressed out mom of 8. I know I can do this but I need to remind myself every day that I have the Lord by my side and everything will be ok. Thank you Lisa!!
Thank you for sharing this. It definitely resonated with me. I remember when I realized how my work was overextending me and my children were getting my already tired self. Thankfully I was able to adjust those circumstances. I've been reading my Bible and really trying to carry more of that peace in my heart, making sure I get naps, etc and don't overload our days. but when things get intense and really busy I still find that this is something that I am struggling with. Having children has felt like training myself more than them in a lot of ways
I’m glad that you were able to recognize that and adjust your circumstances 👏🎉 I really think that the Lord gives us children and marriage as not only a beautiful picture of his love for us, but also as a continual sanctification process. No one can knock the rough edges off of us (or show us that they’re there) like those whom we love the most-our spouse, our babies, etc. I definitely am needing and appreciating this reminder to take control of my anger and love my kids well today.
Within the past week I've felt like God has been leading me to deal with this issue of anger. I just had my third baby and I've seen myself become someone I don't want to be in those hard moments. I can see He is still showing me His desire to change my heart and give my boys the Mommy they need.
I really appreciate this. I had a hormonal yelling mom. I wish I understood at that time about hormones. I really an greatful that you brought your faith in Jesus into this. He is a true healer. I have 7 daughters 2 sons. All but 4 are married. Everyone should hear this.
Thank you for being a mentor to me in this topic. It’s a huge blessing, more than you will ever know! Lisa, thanks for hosting people of faith who are mentors to those listening, and thanks for being a mentor to all of us yourself!
Thank you for this very helpful episode! After my third baby my mom rage really started taking off. I didnt even feel like myself anymore and hearing you be honest about your experience was really comforting and inspiring! I know i can change for the better and im praying for all the moms going through this as well!
So glad this encouraged you! Us mamas are not alone, but the enemy will sure try to make us feel that way. Yes you can change and grow from these trials in motherhood. So good!
My little girl is autistic and my son is not but has some ocd and sensory issues. I am a single full time momma that also works full time job, does all the extra circular things, housework and everything else. It is so easy to become overwhelmed and angry. I always talk about how i feel to my kids so they know its the situattion that may have upset me not exactly them.
Thank you for sharing Natalie with us! I had no idea she was out there! I could about cry, because the feeling of not being a good mom to my kids is something I deal with a lot. Teens take life to a whole other level!
I also am a certified life coach, and I can relate to this conversation in several ways! Life coaching training really opened my eyes and helped me so much. I got angry a lot with my firstborn (17 years old now). He also is a very argumentative person, where there is an excuse and answer for everything. He and I are really close and it is really lovely how he remembers how I used to be and knows I have grown and changed. The whole "Not listening thing" was the hardest thing to get through. I had to realize that my dad, who used his anger against me and my brothers had upset me so much and that I had to work against being like my dad to be the best version of myself to my children. It kept me aware to think purposefully through my words and actions. I like what you said about what gets you angry. . hungry and bad news overwhelms you. I think most people do that. We need to communicate to our children, "I am not doing well today because I haven't eaten. Can we pause for a moment. . ." I feel like communicating out loud and to our children to understand why you are feeling like acting out in anger, helps them vocalize when they get moody too. They will be more self-aware.
Thank you for this podcast, I'm a fairly young mom, wife and homemaker, and this is something I struggle with, but God is good and He has helped open my eyes to ways I can change that area of my life.
Brave conversation! Thank you for your vulnerability, transparency, and relatability. God is good and the Truth does set us free. Beautiful women, beautiful conversation. God bless you both.
Sis with 4 under 4 and fifth on the way, i need this mentorship more than ever. Never had a mother daughter relationship with my mom she was really unapproachable as a child and i dont want tocrepeat that mistake.
I grew up here too and now my daughter is in TN! Cool connection! :) I understand feeling hopeless; there is so much hope! Don't stay stuck. Reach out, there is so much that you can do and surrender and grow in this. 💗
God’s miracle working power is always the answer in the end. I also think practical things like what she’s mentioned is important to be aware of. If I have too much caffeine I get angry. To go along with the hunger.
My children now have children of their own, but believe me, I remember when I was a young mom. Naively, I went into motherhood thinking, "this is going to be easy!" 😂 Nothing easy about it. First mistake I made was raising my children as I was raised. It's what I knew. It took a few years to realize the mistake. To realize I had a meddling mother. To realize these children were mine, not hers. To realize she didn't necessarily do that great of a job to begin with. To realize the changes needed to be made. To realize it would not be an easy task. Long story made short, it was difficult, and at times incredibly hurtful (mostly where my mother was concerned), but the result was more godly and constructive. Was it all perfect? No, but a better direction persued. Standing on your own is tough, but knowing God has your back makes it easier.
Wow, I did enjoy listening to this topic. I can say I suffer with anger. But like you say depends on the season. Prayer and chatting this out helps out. Mother is hard and no one tells you the true.
I also think you may need a few years without babies to get some time to yourself!! The best thing I did was to a huge gap in my last two babies and having that time to recoup and spend time with the 4 little boys I had and allowing them to be kids. When my oldest was married, my youngest boy was 12, I had my 2 girls and found myself in peace and enjoyment! I’m thankful I didn’t just pack them in one after the next because I was over whelmed and they were over whelmed!!! Take a break momma!!!
And I truly adore you and say all of that with my heart, I’ve watched for years. I just can’t imagine how exhausted you truly are. Sending love and hugs to you.
I love this ❤ we have a 2.5-3 year gap between kids and it’s so enjoyable! Anything less would feel overwhelming to me! I love being able to enjoy each kid during that baby toddler stage before welcoming another one ❤
I've been following Natalie along the internet searching her name for any podcast she has been a guest on, this is something as a mom of 3 under 5 that I need, that sit and pray and reconnect is really transformative in my motherhood
Wow, one of my favorite from you yet. I'd love to hear more content relating to heart issues like this along side all of your wonderful more practical content! I don't think I realized how common it is to struggle with anger. Thank you, Lisa!!!
Being thanful to the Lord is key, its huge. I thank the Lord. Telling the Lord, you need help with your anger, you need his help Literally find an alone place and cry to Him and thank Him for his goodness in this situation. I tell myself thatI can be angery but no good will come from this anger. He I tell the LordI can't handle this & He absolutely helps me everytime. It starts with talking to the Lord and thanking Him & asking forgiveness. It's no once for all. Everyday, the struggle with anger over a frustrating issue comes up. Sometimes I start complaining & ragung when everyone is out of the house, & God just waits for me to stop & talk to Him. The Lord Jesus is faithful, He delivers me and comforts me everytime🙏💓😍
Thanks for sharing this. I am an angrier mom and have been trying to change. God has definetly helped me a lot but there is still room for improvement I appreciate how honest she was as I used to be very similar as well in the way I behave thank goodness it's not like that anymore
I wish I had this kind of help when my firstborn and I had so many problems. No one. Not my mother in law, my sisters ever sat me down and told me that so much of his behavior was just a boy thing. That he wasn’t doing things just to make my life miserable. It may have had a profound change in our relationship. I hated waking each day dreading what would happen. We didn’t have a good relationship for many years. When his father and I divorced he went to live with him. That was almost 60 years ago. We still have our issues.
I haven't the time to look at this video atm but please take into consideration peri menopause. Even in your 30's! Just because you have cycle doesn't mean your hormones aren't declining. Low Progesterone in particular. *Hugs*
YES!! Hormones are HUGE! When I started some hormone therapy, it helped the rage around PMS. For sure, it is something to be aware of and discuss with your doctor.
Great discussion. Yet it is rarely right for us to be angry. Natural absolutely, righteous rarely. But for the Christian there is much hope - confession, repentance and the clothing in Jesus’ righteousness - for there we are never put to shame for our sin. We all have indwelling sin as a result of the fall and our anger can point to that fact. Adam and Eve tried covering their shame on their own but God gave them a better way. Look to Jesus in your anger and find all of it wiped away because He loves and forgives you. I’d be careful with being so accepting of my emotions because they are often rooted in my flesh. Look to the One who saves and justifies you before God. That is the one thing I’d take issue with. The rest of the tips I found extremely practical and wise. And I’m grateful for the honesty in it. I just couldn’t get the part in Jonah out of my mind when God asks him “is it right for you to be angry?” (Jonah 4:4) something worth wrestling with…
Oh, for sure, we need to be careful in our anger, yet the feeling of anger in and of itself is not a sin. It is how we deal with the anger that can turn to sin. It's not possible to control a feeling rising up in you, but we can slow it down and not allow it to take over. We should be "slow to anger" (Proverbs 14:29, James 1:19). We want to stop, submit our feelings to the Lord, recognize we are feeling anger, and pray for the Lord to help us work through that emotion in a healthy way. As Psalms 4:4 says, "Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still" (NKJV). We also read "Be angry and do not sin" in Ephesians 4:26. We see many times through the Bible where the Lord himself experiences anger, righteously, of course, but the feeling is there. It's a feeling; our thoughts and actions will determine our outcome. We will feel angry, but we must work through it in a productive way. If you back up a few verses in Jonah, you see it was his actions and words of complaint that were causing his heart to separate from the will of God. Jonah even mentions how God is slow to get angry (4:2). When I read the full context, I read it as God questioning Johan's attitude and rejection of God's will, not the emotion Jonah was feeling. Thoughts?
@@angrymamacoach thanks for the clarification. What helped me feel better about this is James chapter 1: ”Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.“ James 1:13-15 . So I think we’ve been talking about the difference between temptation (which isn’t a sin) and sin. I think using that word “temptation”is helpful. In our temptations we need to come to God. And it just shows our need for Him every moment because fleshly anger isn’t the only way we’re tempted. Thank you! This has been a good thought process.
It’s so funny that today at church the sermon was on this exact topic (whether in our temptations we sin). It was said that there are external temptations and internal. If in the external temptation we go to a place of sin internally, then it needs confession and repentance. If it’s simply external and brings up no sinful desire in us, then we haven’t sinned. Jesus’ tempting in the wilderness and the beatitudes were cited. Christ’s redemption goes all the way to our core - not just our outward actions. ❤️
Often people say if you pray for patience, you will be given many opportunities to be patient. (Meaning things going wrong, ect.) I’ve heard people joke not to pray for patience, you’ll have MANY flat tires in the next few days. 😆
Because when you pray for patience, you’re given multiple opportunities to practice patience. It’s like asking for additional tests for yourself, in the eyes of many.
This is such a timely podcast for me. As we enter Lent, I’m spending the next 40 days working on responding differently to my kids when I’m angry. Great tips!
I had NO idea there were other moms that had anger issues. I had a very, mentally, special needs daughter first and I was a drill sargent witch! Complete control issues. But it worked out quite a bit , as she needed a strict schedule/ life just to keep the peace. I had no one to talk to about it all.
It's amazing how alone we feel in it, isn't it? I remember those days; I am glad this episode gave you encouragement. No mama is alone in this and my prayer is no mama stays stuck. Glad you are finding ways to work through this!
😭 Lately I have been inching toward abusive destructive anger with my toddler. This video was so helpful! 🥹 Thank you. I realized I believed anger itself was bad and that becoming a person who never gets angry was possible. Being thankful for that trial, and modeling to your kids that anger is okay but destruction is not: 🤯 God’s refining process is truely worth it.