ENNEAGRAM & STRESS || TYPE 9

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We’re finishing up our series of posts about how each Enneagram type can be the most, compassionate, skillful, integrated and most helpful expressions of themselves during these hard times.
And what better number to talk about as we conclude this series? Enneagram Nines--The Peacemakers!!
I am so grateful to have two Nines in my life, especially during this Coronavirus debacle! At their best, Peacemakers are open and accepting, service-oriented, affable, calm, low maintenance, and great mediators when sequestered family members or roommates begin rubbing each other the wrong way.
As for every type, Nines can run into trouble when they lack self-awareness. Unskillful Nines can be ambivalent and indecisive, a little too go with the flow, hold back their opinions and viewpoints when we most need to hear them right now, and they can become more self-forgetting and spacey than usual.
So how do we help Nines flourish in these hard times and equip them to be their best for their sake and others? Check out this video for a few helpful tips for Nines.
And, remember, we love you Nines and your voice is really needed right now
.PS: Don’t miss my Instagram Live Q & A on Monday, April 13, 2020 7:00PM(CST) / 8:00PM(EST). You’ll have a chance to ask questions not answered in this series. Make sure to follow me on Instagram at @ianmorgancron.
PSS - Need help figuring out your number? Take my iEQ9 test. Use code COVID19 to get 20% off.
ianmorgancron.com/assessment#...
#enneagramandstress

Опубликовано:

13 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 56

@monicapuckett9727 4 года назад

This explains exactly what I am going through right now!! I have been going along with the flow not upset or worried just going along, but getting mad that I carry so much weight within my household.

@andreabarnett94 4 года назад

Been waiting all week for this!!!

@TaraLamontEastman 4 года назад

So glad she is gearing up - she is caring for others well!

@chaimariel6559 3 года назад

Pro tip: you can watch series at Flixzone. I've been using them for watching loads of movies recently.

@dakariesteban5572 3 года назад

@Chaim Ariel yup, I have been using Flixzone for years myself :)

@carolneuman6935 4 года назад

Thanks for this series gentlemen! So helpful during these stressful times! What a blessing! Again... thank you so much and God Bless you!

@AdamParish 4 года назад

Been waiting all week for this one. Thank you for specifically helping me today.

@claraviveros5032 2 года назад

I bet you if they get drunk, they will express their anger.

@hazelhall5529 4 года назад

Hey Anthony! Hazel Hall here, so great to see and hear you! You and Ian have spurred so much learning in our family and we appreciate it. Hope you and yours are well! Hazel #9

@neonpaintsplash 3 года назад

I feel like everyone is running a marathon the only difference is I’m doing it with sweats and a weight vest on... I hate being a 9.

@user-nr7wu1pr6x 3 года назад

Don't hate being a 9. Maybe the rest of us that are running the marathon and are the ones who need to slow down to your pace. Perhaps you are the reminder for the rest of us to focus on some of the more "true" things in life vs the superficial marathon.

@KJAlways 3 года назад

I enjoy being a spectator and watch this marathon and give them support if they made this need known. 😊 I am Self-Pres, so maybe I will hand out water to the marathon participants! I may cheer them on when I feel more energetic. ☺️ 💕

@KJAlways 3 года назад

I am too lazy to attempt to run in a marathon. Why bother doing it if you don't want to. I like being a Nine after embracing the truth that I no longer have to be a doormat. I don't miss it. Not at all! 🤪

@dianelewis9458 4 года назад

My husband is a 9. Typical 9 in many ways, easy going, very kind, can’t make up his mind easily. But every 2-3 months he loses his temper, just blows, yells, sometimes below the belt comments. He stays angry for a few days. Generally it is over something that seems relatively trivial. I find his style of anger expression very hard. (I’m a 2W3). Is this a typical expression of anger for a 9 or could he be mistyped. Generally he is a super nice guy.

@Talierau3 4 года назад

9s can struggle with passive-aggressiveness and bursts like the one you describe. Focusing on something trivial is an easy way to release all of that pent up emotion that compiles over a series of important things that he didn't speak on for fear of 'rocking the boat'/'disrupting the peace.' It's important to note that 9s struggle with their sense of self during stress and identity, which can also aggravate any pent up issues. The most passive-aggressive 9s tend to favor their 1 wing, 9w8 will be more forthcoming with their irritation.

@dianelewis9458 3 года назад

talie , Thanks so much for your reply. It’s really helpful in me understanding what is going on for him. And changing my response to his outbursts. I can be more compassionate and understanding, and help him notice his anger before it erupts.

@KJAlways 3 года назад

Yes, if he allow it to build up over time. Explode like a volcano. I have a friend that I am trying not to do that to him. I am starting to feel a little resentment because he talks about favorite topic and expresses his emotions and calls to vent. He tries to include me but he has to go when it's my turn to talk about me. He can be too controlling, sometimes. If he tries to give me gift trips for having my own opinions, I will let him see how much of an 8 wing I really have. Now, I am keeping him at a distance after saying he feel judged after I expressed the direct opposite attitude that does not involve the fear he speaks about. I am not going to feel guilty or feel bad for me my own person. If he pushes me, he will have to deal with my 8 wing and get black listed for a while! I would suggest you learn about him as a 9. Wisdom of the Enneagram and find out what bothers Nines and see how does that information fit who he is.

@KJAlways 3 года назад

@@dianelewis9458 Yes!!! 💕 He needs to feel safe with unconditional love whenever he speaks his truth. We always listen to others and need to be heard too. My friends has to talk first before I am motivated to express what is hidden within me.

@ljeannenorton 4 года назад

I thought I was just eating Oreos because they are here. :)

@ljeannenorton 4 года назад

Thank you both for these 9 videos. Very interesting and fun!

@imcron 4 года назад

I eat Oreos because they are here too.

@AdamParish 4 года назад

I self-numb by re-arranging my todo list.

@stephanieraetrahant436 4 года назад

Always.

@Snazjazz17 4 года назад

Stephanie Rae Trahant that is the most 9 thing ever

@KJAlways 3 года назад

How is that self-numbing? I only re-arrange my to do list on my phone to organized it for more efficiency when I need to. That reminds me, I need to get back to my to-do list and get more productive again before I have regrets. I broke out of my routine listening to this and did something productive! Yay! ☺️😁 I like numbing out on videos from documentaries to romantic comedies or musicals or Sci-Fi/ Fantasy. Especially, if it can hold my attention without much effort. I need to get out of videos and listen to more podcasts and audiobooks while being productive in getting things done during the pandemic!

@N.M.1209 3 года назад

I do my to do list for few days then get cut into activities forget about it and eventually come back to it days or weeks after 😂

@AdamParish 3 года назад

@@N.M.1209 I hear you.

@Rachel-su1fb 4 года назад

One of the things I’ve been struggling with is finding ways to still be productive while being stuck at home. What are some ways nines can still be productive during quarantine, to avoid self-narcotizing?

@N.M.1209 3 года назад

I realize than express their anger or opinion at the right time Like an 8, allows 9s to free their energy, which makes them lighter and they can then get into movement, into constant goal-oriented activities like a 3.

@enach20 4 года назад

What happens though, if a 9 legitimately does not know what they want?

@imcron 4 года назад

It depends. Nines are much better at knowing what they DONT want than what they do want. When my 9 wife has trouble figuring out what she wants (eg, which restaurant to go to, vacation destination, etc.) I give her 3 possible options and it makes it much easier for her. It’s different if we’re having a conversation about a larger, more important decision.

@KJAlways 3 года назад

@@imcron Yes, the option of 3 restaurants worked for me too!!! Collaboration works for me to ensure it is a win-win situation for all who are involved. I know buffets has food for everyone. I used to have a boyfriend who would ask me what do I want to eat. I always said "chicken". It was a stressful time in my life and that was my comfort food. And I don't like change under stress. He got mad at me, and I wonder why he bother to ask me. 😆

@N.M.1209 3 года назад

The more a 9 gets sense of his individuality the more he can connect with his real self.

@evbemma33 Месяц назад

But why 9 dont know WHAT they want? Because they.dont have connections with their needs? Or they surpress it because they fullfill needs of other people?

@mindyvalle6595 Год назад

Great videos😍😍

@stephanieraetrahant436 4 года назад

But we often don't know what we want, so how can we tell you???

@imcron 4 года назад

Great question! 9 and 2s should practice asking themselves what do I want several times a day. Stick with it even if the answer always seems to be @I don’t know” Eventually you’ll start to get in touch with your needs and wants.

@stephanieraetrahant436 4 года назад

@@imcron Thanks, that's helpful!

@chadholladay6228 4 года назад

Ian, I'm a 9 and I'm finding myself more in touch with my anger right now. Obviously I can do healthy and unhealthy things with my anger. But being in touch with my anger is a good thing then?

@imcron 4 года назад

For a 9 it’s an AWESOME THING! Keep it healthy!

@jessi88rae 4 года назад

Hi Ian, I recently discovered that I'm a 9 and this video was so helpful! I realized that I don't know how to press into anger, disappointment, uncomfortable emotions regularly and deeply. You recommended setting boundaries which will definitely give me the time to process these things. Are there other resources that might be helpful while learning how to implement this sort of daily "soul work"?

@annieh2794 3 года назад

I really appreciate these videos, but couldn't find the type 4 video.

@natachaunelus 3 года назад

Where's the 4 on the playlist

@DamyanTenev 6 месяцев назад

My bes friend,a 3 glorify me by saying that i make no mistake and that makes me angry

@user-nr7wu1pr6x 3 года назад

Thanks for the great info, i do have one question perhaps to all the 9s viewing this. In this video you mention, going along with the opinions of others, and then feeling controlled and then resentful of those others. Why does this happen? Its like hopping in an Uber and telling the driver you don't care where it takes you then getting mad at the destination.... but you were the one who allowed that to happen so why in the world would resentment be aimed toward the driver(other)? I've been on the receiving end of this and it was devastating to my mental health and a very important relationship... there just seemed to be an unwillingness to accept fault for the "destination" and the level or resentment must have been extreme. Do 9's not realize how unjust this behavior is? Like in my experience no one is asking you to make yourself small, that is self imposed so again i just don't understand the extreme anger that is aimed towards others.

@KJAlways 3 года назад

It takes Nines a long time to build anger and resentment. So they have been dealing with their friends' behaviors for quite a while and kept the peace. Which I have done also. I kept the peace at all cost at my expense! Not happy about that of my past!!! I felt angry when I realized how I allowed people to treat me!!! Truth is empowering! Of course, true friends does not have that impact on me, most of the time. They treat me as if what I want matters to them. I admit, my friend utterly surprised me when she asked me what I wanted and am I sure that is what I want as if there were no wrong answers. I loved her for that!!! Nines need to find friends who will not dominate every decision or thing they do together if they allow them to. I call those people control freaks and avoid closeness with those type of people now. I am no longer afraid of my 8 wing and declare anger as my best friend, so those people don't look my way anymore or not for long. Thank goodness! Nines need to cuss out those damn control freaks and don't allow it to last long enough for resentment to build. Embrace the separation and loss, which opens the space for better friends!! ☺️💕

@user-nr7wu1pr6x 3 года назад

@@KJAlways I’m sorry but this sounds like insanity to me... you said you kept the peace at your expense but you kept the peace to benefit YOU and to maintain your comfort, so it’s aimed to keep you peaceful..non 9s don’t need harmony at all times so you made a choice that benefited you then you resent others for it happening and then allowing it to exist? That is unjust behavior and to even think it can be rationalized away as anything else blows my mind

@KJAlways 3 года назад

@@user-nr7wu1pr6x If a person is a true friend, why would they take advantage of Nines trying to keep the peace and avoid the drama of dealing control freaks' temper tamdrums when we don't do what they want? I think it is insanity to be a control freak at others expense! Not real friends. Nines should avoid them like a disease! Oprah and Cheryl Richardson made me aware that these are the people to AVOID and I do!!!! I like making them run away because these pathetic control freaks make me sick! I know they are not real friends nor worth my time and energy. I am happy to expose them to other Nines! They are weak and pathetic like parasites on Nines energy! It is wrong to take advantage of other people. It is sad Nines have to be pushed into anger when they get tired of it!!!! It is not okay to do that to Nines!

@KJAlways 3 года назад

@Isaiah Scott Yes, peace is important and better for health and well being. I came to realized that some people are not worth the effort.

@N.M.1209 3 года назад

There is nothing unjust. The only thing unjust is that 9 should have declared war way long before it got bad but because of fear of separation that takes form of extreme patience they tend not to act. They need to defend themselves way often and learn to say a big NO at the right time.

@christinacrusius1278 4 года назад

As someone living in a hotspot, it honestly made me angry that y'all were laughing at the fact that she was taking precautions while shopping. This is absolutely appropriate if you take the health of grocery store workers and other shoppers seriously.

@imcron 4 года назад

Hi Christina, you’re right. Unfortunately we recorded that episode days before the instructions for wearing protective gear were instituted. Still, we will try to be more sensitive in the future. Peace!