Hi I am Alana Stanton Claire's mom. I was walking and listening to this podcast and I stopped in my tracks as I heard Claire Stanton! I stopped and ran home as fast as I could to let them listen. I had to get Claire up as she had just gone to bed. She is just floored. Thank YOU for featuring her writing. She just won the Young Georgia Author's Contest and is headed to state for second grade. She loves to write. Thank you for your encouragement to her. We love you guys! If you ever need a child to speak for how minimalism can change lives she is your girl! She remembers our life prior when we were maximalists. Have a great weekend! The Stantons
My great aunt who was in a “Home” often gave me something I didn’t want or need. It was her way of showing LOVE as she grew up with next to nothing. I did the kind thing and accepted it graciously and then donated it, if it wasn’t something I particularly cared for. It was the kindest thing to do. Ryan, I actually felt sad for the way you handled your moms gifts to you. Just a thought. I do value most of what you share. So thank you✨
Its good to hold onto a few meaningful items though... it may take several times of going through items to decide what you can let go and what you want to cherish.
I have been minimizing 1 thing a day for about 3 years (I really have to search for things now!) I don’t have much in the grand scheme of things but my mom kept all my report cards, pictures and certificates. I organized that and oddly enough, since I’m moving back to Canada from Germany, I contacted the pension organization and they told me they needed my graduation certificates from high school! I knew where they were since I’d organized but kept them. Sentimental stuff but useful!
I just want to Thank You for all the advice regarding sentimental items. Both my husband and my parents passed on and we have had allot of items to sort thru, give away to family members,donate and tons of photos and paperwork to scan. There is no doubt it is a challenge. The first set of photos scanned and discarded were the hardest but once we were able to digitally sending old photos to family and friends it was such a joy to see everyone’s responses and have them ask to see more. It’s been a long journey but you both have made it much more enjoyable. Thanks again 😄
Hello from Scotland you guys are brilliant and I appreciate your help and great advice through your videos.. You have both made me think differently..sentimental items are the hardest to let go of but thanks to you I've managed to let go of 50% and the world didn't end... Thankyou so much 😊
Sentimental stuff is my biggest hurdle. I currently own items that belonged to my grandparents, children and great grandparents!!! My children don't want any of this stuff. My mom passed away three years ago and I have a lot of her things...really way too much. Your videos are so helpful. i love you guys! Curiously, the easiest things for me to let go of are items I bought for myself???
In the new year, I went through all of my sentimental possessions and took pictures of everything. I felt so much 'lighter' when I went through this process. I also went through my children's items that I have kept over the years and I had to think about these items from their point of view and they didn't want the items either. Electronic keeping of these items is very uplifting. Then when we moved there was so much less to move from one location to another :)
I’ve taken a slightly different tact with my own Mom regarding gifts and thought I’d share it. My Mom absolutely loves gift giving and it brings her so much joy. If I asked her to stop giving me gifts, I feel I’d be then taking away a source of real joy in her life. I’ve chosen to keep my life minimal enough that I can take in these gifts and enjoy them for a time and use them or display them for a time and then move them on as new things come in. I’ve chosen this because I really love my Mom and I know that while she loves giving the gift, she also doesn’t mind when you move the item along either. She’s not attached and just enjoys the find and hopes you’ll like and use the item. Just a way I’ve chosen to handle it with my Mom that’s slightly different.
That's how I handle gifts, especially from those who may not know (or understand ) that I'd really rather not receive a knick-knack or would rather have something like gift cards. I've been working on getting my mother to skip the oddball gifts and focus on the big-ticket things and changing how she spends money, but she enjoys finding and bringing people gifts. My grandmother recently passed and was still getting my kids-style pajamas (I'm in my late 20s) for Christmas, even though I'd been asking for gift cards, food, etc. for years. I'd open the gift, put on a good face because it made her happy and quietly donate the set later. Hurting her feelings to save me some hassle wasn't worth it.
I find if you have a list of things you would like -ie consumables it helps people who love to gift and that's their love language helps bridge the gap. That way you get what you want and use but then they don't linger around because they can be used up . I suggest : your favorite makeup, perfume, non perishable foods, toiletries, cleaners etc. My mom likes spoiling me on occasion and having a list of things I actually like helps bring her joy.
This is true. I tried to help a family member by saying dont buy things just give things you're going to give later and aren't using because they could enjoy now. That's what was happening with other family members but the next birthday I got something I had made and given them and it had no use or sentiment for me so it backfired. Just take gift say thank you and use or get rid of. You get to curate your life not a museum unless that is your paid job.
For the past several years we have been requesting “love letters” as gifts from family and friends. They take much thought, are extremely sentimental and personal.... Yet can be scanned so. Digital copy can be kept rather than a physical one. We also instituted potluck dinners- so everyone gan give a heritage dish (great aunt Betty’s pot roast, etc) without leaving “stuff” behind.
I am Wren!! I have the same issue with my parents. They are way more attached to the items they overabundantly give my children, they are not even hand-me-downs. :/ I sooooo needed this podcast!
My mother is getting older. My father passed away 5 years ago, and that began the cycle of “ Giving all of our old things to the kids.” There are very few things I want.I have received my grandmas wedding ring. Priceless, full of memories, and fits like a glove.. I cherish it. I will keep it, and proudly wear it. But what do I do with the clock, the home decor, the dishes, and all of the old stuff that my mom wants to give to me because I’m the only girl and they are “ incredibly special, passed down for generations, and HER favorite things?” I don’t want them. I adored my grandmother. I have so many amazing memories... but I don’t think I should feel obligated to take things that truly have no meaning to me... just because my mom wants me to have it. Is this awful?? I hate clutter. 🤷🏼♀️
I want all my parents things when they pass .My brothers and I will split things. They were my grandparents furniture. Beautful antiques .I think everyone has their own idea. I think everyone should do as they feel, nothing wrong with that !,
if they arent your style find a person who will appreciate it and keep it. there are antique dealers out on facebook who love them. I have told my mom when she passes I dont want the silver or fancy dishes because I just don't like them she was miffed but she's starting to come around.
I know this is 2 months later but what if you encouraged her to look into her life for other people that would find meaning in those thing? Friends, cousins, siblings, etc.
I do put a lot of meaning behing my thing's...tricky switching the mindset but doing my best as don't want the burden to continue as the years go on. Today I've had your podcasts on and off for several hours and I know I've already listened to this particular one..already twice I think haha. It's a good one.
I actually sold a collection of crystal today. I found I wasn't using any of it, and I was solely keeping it out of nostalgia. Most of it has been packed in a box in the basement for the past two years. It was time to let it go.
The ending to your podcast always makes me so happy 🥰 Also I feel the hardest part is getting started, minimalism is a journey and a longer one for some than others but once that ball is rolling it becomes much easier. I moved in with a friend and had our storage cupboard full of ‘Incase I live alone again items’ but after a year of practising letting go I dug into that cupboard and didn’t understand why I kept any of it. I sold it all and now I’ve got some extra cash for things I need!
My mother is very uncomfortable not giving and more importantly receiving things at Christmas time. She's also like a child and becomes petulant and offended if you don't express absolute love and gush positively over her gifts. It's annoying. Now we've set up a system where we only give one gift to one other adult so it keeps her happy and I don't have to field a whole lot of unwanted stuff. I reckon that generation (post war) are seriously attached to stuff because they didn't have lots of stuff growing up so for them it's a way to express love.
It is hard, to tell friends to stop giving gifts to my kids , usually it ends up broken, in goodwill or giving them away. It create more chaos. More things to deal with. I don’t want to be rude. I know it is a conversation, that needs to be done , I don’t know how to starts it
I ask if they can bring consumables for gifts instead . I find it a good way for my mom to fill he need to gift but I get something I like. especially if its on a Amazon list just send them to her
I started minimizing my things because I have back problems and I can’t take care of my things. So I’m giving away or donating my stuff. I see so much I have that I don’t need. My daughter has her own home now so she took all her craft stuff and she bakes so I gave her everything she could use to bake because I don’t. I have a lot of entertaining glass pieces so I’m giving her some of it because I can’t host large gatherings anymore due to my back problems. It’s sad for me because I love entertaining tea parties but I just can’t physically do it anymore. But I’m keeping my tearoom/library because it’s my peaceful sitting room. Just not keeping it all.
It's just dawned on me how many times I've listened to this. Paper weight deja vu 😂. The sentimental stuff is a real struggle for me. I worry that when I part with those things I will be parting with the memories.
I think you guys said it beautifully. Not everything can be sentimental or nothing can be. Something like that. Lol I have noticed a light, brief mouning period after a purge of so called sentimental items ( only sentimental cause we tell ourselves they are) maybe you could speak to this after affect feeling?
Ryan, for the love all that is holy, get a hair brush ;p Love you guys... your first book is my bible and it is highlighted in lots of colors and lots of sticky notes! My daily go to guide!
I'm a big fan of yours!! I'm a professional organizer and interior designer. I'm a follower of your minimalism lifestyle. That said I love beautiful things, vases, art, decor items. I'm moving to Mexico this year. Going through my general belongings is very, very easy for me, I don't have a lot of stuff, but I do love my art and travel pieces. Any suggestions? Your thoughts? I'm really struggling with this, what comes up is "shoulding", I should release most of this stuff.
I'm a minimalist and a interior designer as well. I love beautiful things such as décor and art too. I would start by scoping out what will actually fit in your new home and its décor. For example - will that vase fit the style I am going for in my new home ? Will the art fit on the new walls? Will it be too big or small ? Just like sofas, rugs and console tables that aren't to scale and proportion to the new house art and other things are the same way to pair down. I also find once you get into your new home and it bring you no joy that's when to part with them. You need enough things to make a house feel homely and fill the negative spaces . try keeping things in a box for a while if you don't find joy or a place for it leave it there for a month or so it helps you realize you didn't need it.
I love u guys im some minimalist...why dont you also talk about the people that throw away everything...i believe every extreme is bad..im still struggling with pictures..need to resolve that.
i'm 45 and still cannot let go of my he-man and star wars toys, even my stuffed animals. i think i'll be buried with them lol me and skeletor til death..
