Everybody Gets What They Need | How to respond when kids say "no fair" 

You guys are amazing. I am or was the homesteading parent you describe. After a cancer diagnosis being the perfect always-positive cancer patient and health guru became just one more thing to uphold besides saving the world and trying to be the best in every other arena of life. I was a massive perfectionist and people pleaser with almost no frustration tolerance trying to control every aspect of life around me to protect me from facing anything hard so that I'd never have to own up to not being perfect and actually being pretty controlling, scared, angry, confused and judgemental. I believed to be good you need to be selfless so I had zero boundaries and couldn't ask for what I need. I believed it was selfish to want anything but of course this is just being human. I believed the world should be fair. Why were there so many people with less than me? I'd obsess over the suffering in the world and my inability to change it. But a lot of that were my inner wounds that I didn't even realise were there. In your earlier podcast when Lane said "I was worried I was the bad thing" I cried because it hit home so hard. I realise now I was the golden child in a very narcissistic and broken family and I'm processing this through therapy. But I would vascillate between over inflated self esteem and incredibly low self esteem based on external feedback. I've been a serial Facebook poster and very opinionated when it comes to parenting. But although i thought i was doing things so differently it turns out I was parenting the same way I was parented. With a lot of shame and confusing standards. I thought if I just put the right inputs in and stay super consistent out will pop this perfect little human that always does the right thing and never whines and is always kind. When he was good I loved him and when he made choices I didn't like I hated him. And I'm sure he felt that. That is not real love but idealisation and shame was the only kind of love I knew. Through therapy, your wonderfully honest vlogs, some great TedTalks and some empathy and grace from myself I'm learning to really love myself in all my messy human-ness, to love others in theirs and to love the full of zest little human that is my son. We are learning patience and perseverance and being OK with making mistakes together and it feels so good to have the weight lifted. I feel a connection to him that I didn't have before. I used to blame him because I felt he brought out the worst in me, but now I'm so thankful that he made me face the parts of me I couldn't love and realise it's OK. I'm so much less triggered and even though I'm still going to mess up sometimes without the shame attached it's easier to calm down, own up and repair. Thank you for your honesty. I always pick up really helpful perspectives from you guys ❤

You two never fail to shift my perspective in a healthier direction. You help me let go of unnecessary feelings of guilt and feel empowered to take care of myself. I can't overstate how much you've improved my experience of motherhood. Thank you SO much for everything❤

It’s like you knew thats my 3 year olds new favorite sentence. 😂

Are just realized something… are you guys sponsored? And if not, what?!??? 🤯