Everything Has Changed - Life Update & Why I Left YouTube 

Hello darlings, thank you for your patience, love and kindness. I missed you and so happy to be back ❤️

Oh Soph, my heart aches, you are such a brave woman. When you were describing your dad, you were basically describing how we see you, gentle, kind, funny and always speaking up for those in need, your father lives in you and would be so proud 💓💓

Everything you’re feeling now is normal, grief is the price we pay for loving and being loved. This journey isn’t easy but you will get there Sophie, from experience ❤️ xx

I came across your channel on my feed. I found this video so hard as I too lost my dad unexpectedly 6 and a half years ago. Its crazy how fast life has gone on without him but I have never got used to the fact he is not there. Its strange you say you knew as I too had a weird feeling the day before he died, I heard him call my name and wake me the morning he died before I even knew. You need to allow yourself to grieve, its such a rubbish time at the moment, but please reach out to loved ones, I suppressed my grief and about 5 months later was struck with terrible depression and anxiety, which I am still going through now. The pain never goes away, even hearing your story has pulled that pain in my heart again, you just get used to dealing with the pain in your own way. Please be kind to yourself and stay safe x

I was trying to hold back tears this video 😭 I lost my dad unexpectedly 2 years ago and even to this day it still hurts. I feel your pain, but it does get easier to accept in time💖

❤Had to touch the screen just to feel like Im comforting you, broke my heart, Im so happy to see you back but so sad to see you sad. What a terrible year, but there you are with your mug of tea, So brave Sophie xxxxx

Ian so beyond sorry for your loss. Unless you've lived through it people don't fully understand. Sensing prayers and good vibes your way 💕

I'm so sorry Sophie🥺😥 What a terrible loss for you and your family and I hope that you can find peace and comfort during this time. Hugs🤗

My heart breaks and aches for you I couldn’t even imagine the pain you’re going threw. As much as I love seeing you back you also need to take time to heal, I’ve been off work for nearly a year waiting for surgery and I look forward to your videos every week you’ve made quite an isolating time not so lonely so thank you for that I wish you nothing but light and love and I hope each day gets a little easier to process xx

I feel so much for you! You described the day I lost my mam she was only 46 I knew one day it was coming but nobody prepares you for that pain! I'm always here if you ever need anyone! It took me a long time to heal and then just before Christmas 2019 I lost my grandad and he was my best friend and the pain was unreal he had a good long life but you just wish you could have them around for that one more day, that one more laugh, smile, hug! It's hard! I'm so pleased you're back take your time and I look forward to seeing new uploads x

I completely understand what you are going through right now, I lost my dad suddenly too when he was just 64 years old. The pain is unbearable at times but it gets easier with time but it never leaves you. Look after yourself sweetheart xx

My dad died 31 years ago very suddenly too so I understand what you are going through. If I could give you a big hug I would but I won't give you all the usual platitudes that people say at this time because I know it doesn't help. When someone dies suddenly there is so much you feel that you never got to say so I used to write him letters, usually in the middle of the night, which I found helped. It takes time but eventually you'll be able to remember the happy times without crying. Just give yourself that time and don't try to bury it like I did or it just takes longer. Be kind to yourself. ❤❤❤

I lost my dad a little over a year ago, it’s a pain like no other. Sending you love and hugs during this time🙏🏼💞

Grief is the price you pay for love. You will never get over this but you will learn to live with it! I speak as one who knows! Big hugs!!

So Sorry for you loss, sending you lots of Love. Make sure you make your well being a priority, you tube and the world can wait x x there is no rules for grief, it does come in waves and from no wear x

The fact that you shared about what happened to you dad i have to say you are so strong! Just remember he went smiling and at least you spoke to him before he went. Hope he’s in a better place and wish you all the best💕. Do stay safe and take it easy. X

Hi there. I was just looking through RU-vid (as you do) and stumbled across your vlog. I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you've lost your dad recently. I understand exactly what you mean about being on a rollercoaster of emotions and riding the waves as it were. I lost my best friend almost 6 months ago. We talked every day and now suddenly, he's gone. It leaves a massive hole in your life. Anyway I just wanted to say that I understand a little bit of what you're going through. Be kind to yourself as you ride the waves xxx

Oh soph it was horrible to see you crying, grief is a torment, you couldnt have described it better as waves of sooo many emotions, take care hun and let those emotions flow xx😍

Aww welcome back Sophie ❤️❤️❤️ we missed you so much but understand why you had to leave RU-vid 😔 so so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose your dad. I know how it feels. You're still grieving. Denial is the first stage of grief so just allow it to happen and run it's course. It's awful and horrible but totally natural and normal. So lovely to hear your memories of your dad. Hold on to those memories and virtues he taught you. They are amazing traits to have ❤️ his soul will live on in you 🌟🌟🌟 take care beautiful soul. Sending you so much love and peace 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

Just watching you on my tv . I’m so sorry about your father , I lost my mum 25 yrs ago this august I was 26 so was a major life change for me back then . Mum was my Rock then ten yes later my dad died . Life will get better , take tine to grieve , and thinking of you at this sad time xx take care xx

had a cry with you, my heart is broken for you. just know that we’re all here for you, you’re stronger than you realise and to just take one day at a time. it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to not be okay. we’ve got your back ❤️

Aww Sophie, I’m watching this in tears because I can see and hear and feel the same pain I felt 14 years ago when my dad died unexpectedly during the night. You are so right when you say that nothing can prepare you for the pain and it probably feels at points like you might not survive but you absolutely will learn to carry it with you. Urgh it’s just such so hard, please take solace in the fact that you’re not alone and be kind and patient with yourself, you’re doing amazingly. Sending lots of cosmic love and healing vibes 🌺💫

Sending u big hugs. I’m crying my eyes out watching you talk about your da, my heart breaks for u. I lost my dad 3 years, I was in Australia when I got the phone call. It so so hard. This day 3 years ago was the last time I saw him, when I was getting back on that plane back to Australia. Really hope your doing ok. Xxxx

Lovely to see you back. What a lovely tribute to your dad. Lots of love and hugs x

im a new subby and just want to say im so sorry for ur loss, i lost my sister 12 years ago suddenly and it never leaves you, the grief, but somehow it allows you to get back on track, i still have my days or few days(this week) has been hard, but i dont know why, but i let it happen and then get back on it, big hugs xxxx

So sorry for your loss. Very brave of you to be so open and honest about what's happened. Sending best wishes to you at this difficult time x

You are so strong and amazing! I'm so sorry for your loss! I have been thinking of you. I am so glad you are back but, always know if you need to take time away again please do we will always be there for you xxx 💙

You poor,poor love. How incredibly brave of you. All you can do is grieve for him in the way that works for you, and remember him. Biggest of hugs. XXX

Hi Sophie I am so so sorry for your devastating loss. 😥 I know how hard it is (I lost my own dad a while ago now, but I still miss him). I can only give platitudes, so I won't bother with them. But, know, that you can still 'talk' to your dad (I still talk to mine). My heart goes out to you, stay strong, stay healthy and lean on Lawrence (who I am sure is being supportive for you). We will all be here when you feel ready. 🙏🙏🙏 Stay safe! As always, TFS

You are so inspiring! I lost my Nan on Wednesday after noon, and going through the same feelings as you are! The fact that you’ve made this video shows the under lying strength you have! You’ve really inspired me so I’ve made my first RU-vid video, it’s up now, it’s a bit pointless and probably awful lol, but if you get time please let me know your thoughts!x

Lost my dad 3years ago this May & my mum six years ago, the pain is unbearable but believing that they'll always be there( heaven), waiting for me has helped me cope. I could feel your pain watching this video, please take care x

Glad to see you back,so sorry for your loss,I lost my dad 20 years ago after fighting cancer for 4 years he lost the fight and it still hurts and I still miss him,you will get through this you have family and friends,be brave and stay safe.x

We love you too Soph!! Thanks for sharing this video xxx. Continue keeping the faith and sending you healing. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cried all the way through this. Grief is definitely waves. You take the time you need and do what works for you. Sending lots of love 💜

Hi Sophie. I'm sorry for your loss and had to hold back tears during the video. You are lucky to have had such an amazing dad ❤ Take care 😘 Love from France

So sorry to hear about your loss. I wish I could put my arms around you. Take care.

Hi hun, I've just come across your chanel and I'm in tears watching this!! You'll probably never get to see this, but I wanted to let you know that everything you're feeling, I went through myself. 8 years ago my mum passed away so suddenly. She was my absolute best friend and my rock. I still to this day find it difficult to believe she's gone. People say you get over it, you don't and never will. You just learn to live a different way of life. Anyway, look after yourself. I will certainly be subscribing to your chanel x

I'm so sorry for your loss Sophie. I had missed your new uploads, and now I know why you've been absent. I hope you'll be back posting again soon, if only to help distract you. Sending you lots of love. Look after yourself. xx

Lovely to have you back :) I’m so sorry for your loss, your dad sounds like an amazing man. Sending lots of virtual hugs and love your way xxx

Thankyou for coming back on the tube, I’ve missed you! So sorry to hear your very sad news about your selfless wonderful Dad, he sounds amazing! I’m hear to say that you are also of the same elk, you always come across as very caring, kind and compassionate! Truely great qualities, be kind to yourself , take time for yourself , love MARTHA x

Awww you are just so lovely! Even watching you you can tell how much it has hit you! You are amazing and we will be here if you ever need anything! 💗💗 xx

So sorry for your loss. Sending you a hug and peace. Take care of yourself and stay safe.

yaaaaaaaay your back, Im glad you are coming back to us we can all use your bright cheery face in times like this. So sorry for your lose, your dad sounds like he was an amazing guy. when I clicked to watch you my cat jumped up to watch I think she was looking for your kitties because when she sees them she tries to touch them or reach around the computer to tag them. lol

Iam so sorry Sophie . I lost my dad when I was 17 and I promise you It does get less painful .,and you will be able to think about him without it upsetting you .take care my lovely and stay safe xxxxxx

Tears are streaming down my face. What a brave young lady you are, so genuine and clearly your dad loved you so much and you him. All my love to you, your sister and family 💕

Welcome back Sophie. Firstly I just want to say I'm so very sorry for your loss. Just know that you are not on your own. I lost my dad over 12 years ago now. I still think about him everyday. Trust me, when I say that you will be ok. It will just take time. Try and remember all those wonderful memories you had the chance to share with him and hopefully you will find comfort in those memories. Love and hugs to you. Stay healthy and safe. 💕❤

Oh Soph I’m so sorry for your loss, having lost my Dad a few years ago too I completely understand how difficult this must be for you. The unexpected bit is so tricky and absolutely heartbreaking. Years later I still cry thinking about it. Treasure how proud he would have been of you and all you are doing, and cry and shake when you need to- it’ll come in waves and that’s ok. Here if you wanna chat xxx

Sending a huge hug and so much love. One day at a time lovely it’s all you can do. I lost my mum in 2007, she was poorly but didn’t tell me how poorly she was. I still go to phone her even now. You don’t ever get over it but you get used to it. Much love ❤️❤️❤️

I've just come accross your channel and I am really enjoying your content and general vibes. I am so sorry to hear of your sad news, sending love xxx

I am so sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need. As a daddy's girl myself I cannot imagine the pain you're in. Also thank you for saying we could all use a break from Covid19. I've been staying off my FB and IG more than usual because I'm so tired of reading about it.

Hi Soph, I found your videos during lockdown and I’ve been binge watching them for weeks. I finally plucked up the courage to watch this one as I knew you’d be talking about your dad and I lost my own dad 9 years ago. Really weirdly our dads passed on the exact same date, 5th of March and they sound like very similar characters. I am incredibly sorry for your loss and for the pain you are going through. I know how awful it hurts and I’m sorry you are hurting too. Nine years on and the feelings don’t ever go away but they do become much more manageable. One day you’ll be able to think of you dad and feel mostly the warmth and memories rather than the raw pain. I also just wanted to share a quote that someone shared with me when my dad passed as it really helped and has stayed with me - ‘To live in the hearts you leave behind is not to die’. I hope you’re doing okay, Kerry xx

Awww I again feel so sorry to hear about your loss of your dad , I am feeling your pain watching you , you are in total shock still and sadly life will not be the same again ,you change as a person and see life so differently, it's been 5 and half yrs since I lost my dad and I still see something on the tv or hear something and go to ring my dad and then have to remind myself I can't :( huge hugs to you lovely and all I can say is take it day by day xx

I am so sorry for your loss Sophie. I lost my Dad 18 years ago when I was 23. I still look for him when I'm out anywhere. Sending you all the love and hugs, take care and take your time xx

Oh Sophie, I’m so sorry! I lost my dad last March 5th. There is nothing I can say, but take your time and you will get through! There is no other way than to feel the grief. The memories have gotten me through. You bring such joy and have such a heart.♥️ I will keep you in my prayers. I pray you feel comforted by the love of your friends and family (and this lovely community you’ve brought together here). (I’m an old lady, but I enjoy your sweet way and your humor - love a good food taste test too!) Love and hugs from Pennsylvania! ♥️

Thought are with you 💗 My Dad passes away in 1992 when I was 14 & still miss him everyday 😢 Take one day at a time. Don’t rush anything xx

So very sorry for your loss, my heart aches for you. My mum passed away in February, I know what your going through, the pains unbearable. Sending lots of love xx

So sorry for your loss. I know how you feel and wouldn’t wish it on anybody. Be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes, wish you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️

Once again Sophe please accept my deepest sympathies on the passing of your Father. Sounds like he was a beautiful human being, you were blessed to have such a great man as a Father. When I lost my Brother and Sister unexpectedly as well and I have never been the same again. It was devasting and I have such a deep sadness that I don't think It will ever go away. I love you Sophe and I am here for you if ever you need to talk. Welcome back, take care and please say hi to Lawrence and the kitties for me 🤗🌈💞.

So sorry for your sudden loss Soph💔 grief is a very personal and unpredictable rollercoaster, just ride with it and don't deny yourself of anything. Love and best wishes to you and your family x

Sophie it is a difficult time (I truely know) and I really feel for you. It hurts but over time it will ease but you will never stop missing him, I know, and your dad would want you to be happy and enjoying life. Just a suggestion but buy a rose or plant a tree in his memory ❤️ take care and look after yourself. I’m currently in a 12 week total lockdown because of the virus and my health and desperately missing all my grandchildren, especially baby Nellie who is 10 weeks old

So sorry for your loss! I believe this life is not the end of the road, and someday we'll see our loved ones again. It helps to know the separation is temporary.

I am so sorry for your loss. When you spoke about the weird feeling you had it really hit home with me. I lost my step dad very suddenly in 2014, he was out at a family members house like he always used to. I found it really hard to fall asleep that night and then my family got the call to say he was being taken to hospital and later declared brain dead. It's still hard and its cliche to say time heals but it does and like you say distractions do help. I've not followed you for long but if you ever need to talk I'm here X

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Thinking of you and your family at this very, very difficult time xx

Was lovely to see you again, I think about you and hope you are doing ok. Just do what you can, we won’t be going anywhere. Sending love and hugs xxx

And then my comment got added before I was ready! Stupid technology!! Any way...just wanted to say I totally get where you are coming from. My heart ached so much watching this video. I lost my mum suddenly too and it is one of the hardest things you will ever go through apart from loosing a child and i’ve been through that too. Do what feels right for you. There is no right or wrong. Look after you. We’ll still be here. Your dad sounds like a great man! Much love xx

Welcome back! take all the time you need, we all understand and will be back enjoying your vids when your good and ready x

I'm so sorry for your loss! My heart goes out to you and your family xxx

We lost Mum 6th November last year. Also unexpected and sudden. She was 46. Know how you're feeling right now. The hurt and confusion. Sending you love and hugs

Welcome back Sophie. Bless you. You are so brave. My heart aches for you. I lost my Dad 7 yrs ago & my Mum 4 yrs ago. Your Dad sounded a lovely kind man. You'll be okay. Stay strong lovely. Its very early days so just take one day at a time. We are all here for you 💖 xx

I am so sorry, I can see how heartbroken you are right now and I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling right now. Sending you SOOOO much love and positivity! You are so brave and welcome back :) lots of love, hope you are staying safe xxxx

Sophie, I’m a sorry for your loss, it’s heartbreaking. I lost my Dad very suddenly in December, so I know exactly what you are going through. Sending you my thoughts and strength to get through this awful time x

Hi Soph, I started watching your channel a couple of months after my daughter passed away. I was trying to find something to distract me from the grief that was eating me up. You helped me so much, for even a few minutes to get away from it all and be able to feel slightly normal again. My heart breaks for you, watching this a year after my daughters passing. I just wanted you to know that you are amazing and have been so great to watch. Sending you all my love ❤️🌹❤️ xxxx

So sorry to hear about your dad ,he sounded so precious to you take each day at a time you can get through it sending my love to you and take care of yourself xx

My heart aches for you. Sending a massive big hug your way. Xxx

Oh your making me shiver.... your an angel and a glowing star on RU-vid I love your message and vibes and you are strong and amazing xxx sending all the hugs xxx

Aww Soph! I lost my dad exactly a year a go! It takes time to heal but you’ll get there. Sending Love and hugs during this hard time. 💕

Sophie your such a amazing strong women. Your love for your dad showed though out on this video he sounded like such a amazing man. Sending loads of hugs 🤗 xxx

Am so sorry about your dad passing, he must have been so proud of you!

Hi Soph, I’m so sorry for your loss, my heart wrench’s for you. Sending you prayers and love xxx

Oh sophie, I feel for you I really do. This is a time to take care of yourself and if you need a good cry, sometimes there is nothing better. I lost my dad unexpectedly when I was 13, I’m 24 now, I think about him all the time but all I can say to you is eventually it does get easier, but take your time in this journey of grief and take care ♥️

My heart goes out to you I lost my mum suddenly and I was in shock so badly for such a long time. Just get thro each day at a time..Don’t be sorry for how u feel. XX You will be in my thoughts xx

Hi, I am so sorry for your loss, I know it seems trite but it is true that time does help to heal, remember all your good times and all the love your father gave you. I wish you all the best for the future

Ah Soph I am so very sorry to hear about your Dad. Yes keeping busy will help. The way you talk about him really shows what a. lovely person he was. I found that having the radio on whenever I was on my own helped make me feel less alone- Radio 4 or Radio 4 extra - the talking is relaxing and keeps you company. Just be kind to yourself and don't expect to feel a certain way, just go with however you are feeling. We are all thinking of you, much love, Ruth xxx

I’m so sorry Sophie, 7 minutes in and I am bawling. My heart hurts for you. I cannot begin to comprehend how you’re feeling as I’ve never lost a human family member. But in February we lost one of my Nan’s dogs and then, just under 3 weeks later we lost my sister’s cat (my cat’s sister). 3 and a half weeks after that, on the 17th of March, my cat passed away to join his sister and I’m still really struggling with the loss of them all (probably why I’m still crying typing this😂). I hope that you’re as okay as you can be and it’s lovely to see you smiling, I always love your videos. Take care 💕

I'm so so very sorry honey. All my love and prayers.

Ok so now we know where you get your qualities from. As you’ve described him and yourself 💓. 8 years ago I lost my dad to cancer. It’s unbearable and you have a journey ahead of you. We are all here for you 💓. On 2nd March I lost my beautiful 4 year old niece to a brain tumour. Grieving is so hard. Love you Soph xxxxx

Sophie I’m so sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself. May your dad rest in perfect peace ❤️

Sopherina I am so sorry to hear your very sad news. I am sending you love and hugs. I lost my dad 6 years ago and still feel pain. Your vlogs are brilliant so keep them going take care XX

Hi sophie, i am in tears watching your video my biggest fear is loosing my dad. Im so sorry to hear your news! I don’t think there are any words to make you feel any better so i will just say im thinking of you and sending you the biggest hugs and love stay strong sweetheart love from someone who cares about you from afar xxx

Lovely to see you back! That must of been so hard to make. You're dad sounds like an amazing father to have had and man to have known. I'm so sorry he has left you. But it doesnt mean you didnt get to say goodbye, there are many ways you can do it. Maybe you should still call him, maybe leave a voicemail. Take care of yourself and get loads of kitty cuddles they're the best fur hugs! Looking forward to more videos x

From what you've told us about your dad, he was an absolute beautiful person inside out, I'm so sorry for your loss. His strenght, personality and joy still lives forward in you and your sister. Dear Sophie, from what your telling us, you have no idea how similar you are. You too put a smile on all of our faces when we need it, and I want to thank you so much for it. I wish you didn't have to go trough this right now, but you are an unbelievable strong person. I wish you all the love you need right now

We love you soph! Glad to see you back, but take all the time you need, and dont worry about the normal schedule xxx

So sorry for your loss its so hard to lose someone you are so close to. And that you are so strong, funny and kind plus it is good to see you back

Sophie....... a massive hug from me and I'm sure all of us!! You are just a kind, beautiful soul and I cannot imagine what you are going through.. but you can always talk to us subs! your second family xxx

Had to stop, "like" the video & comment after first few minutes just so I could send you a big massive virtual hug. Sophie we have missed you too, but your personal time of healing must come way before our needs of seeing content on your channel. Please take as much time away as you need...stay strong my lovely and look after yourself. Now I've commented & Sat wishing to give you a hug for real I'm going back to watch the rest of your vlog. Much love xxx

So sorry for your loss. Sending my deepest condolences at this sad time. Big hugs ❤️x

Awww huni I'm so glad that you keep pushing yourself to keep going,I'm so so very sorry about your dad. 21yrs ago on Sunday 7th March 1999 at 2.30pm I got a phone call off my baby sister telling me that our mum and her sister auntie Rita had been killed in a car crash. Now all these yrs on I still go to call her on the phone or get in my car to go to the office to her,crazy I know but that's what we did everyday so although it does get easier I still go to do the things we used to do because we were so close and it's natural thing to do. Stay strong sweetheart and most importantly talk to Lawrence and any other family member or friend but don't please don't try to get through it without talking and letting them help and support you. I was on my own at the time(still am 😂) with 5 young children and the person who helped me and my children was my very best friend she was there for me and the kiddos and still is to this day. She helped me to help my kiddos and I grieved when they were in bed or at school. Please please hun let yourself be supported and loved and helped. I really am so sorry hun . Stay strong stay safe.xxxx💜

I'm so sorry to hear this , it's so nice to hear how much your Dad meant to , with so much love and joy in your heart , your memories of your Dad will be with you forever , Its still raw at the moment, you have your sister and I'm sure you will be there for each as all of us are sending you big hugs ❤❤xx

I am so sorry for your loss I can truly say I know how this feels I lost my dad at 19 and it is the hardest thing you never forget them Ever but it does get easier I promise lots Of love x❤️

So so sorry sweetheart. Lovely to see you. So looking forward to seeing your seeds growing and what you will do to keep busy. We love u too sweetheart xxx