You nailed the problem from the very start. All the references I've ever gotten have been total garbage, by complete amateurs with a cell phone who have focused on selfie images. I've turned down numerous people who felt like forcing these horrible pictures into a working painting is losing the whole point, capturing the spirit of the person, not just the likeness, often devoid of any characteristic that makes the painting really shine. The Glamour Shot Syndrome that prevails so heavily in our Society. It makes me totally avoid any efforts to do any work with portraits or deal with client wishes. I've just stopped doing commissions entirely because of these entitled, self-absorbed, creatures, that I won't grace with the label of being part of humanity. They want top quality work at bargain basement prices in an unreasonable amount of time, and all with the most horrid photo's imaginable. It's no wonder I never talk about my work, or my education, or experience with most people, as they haven't the least notion of what's entailed. I just quit doing any work for profit, as they think it's like pouring a solution on a support, and bang, there's their Mona Lisa!