This was me. She's 11 months old now but I wish pple talked more about what it's really like. It's eye opening, shows u unhealed areas of ur childhood etc. But it also shows you how strong you really are
I am incredibly grateful for this video, although I am not a mother yet. Thank you so much for being so transparent and sharing the unadulterated, truth of motherhood and your experience. The psychosis part is some thing that I empathize with, as I helped foster a newborn baby for a year, and it was such an experience. Motherhood really is 24/7.
‘Love lived here’. I’m sat listening to you whilst holding my 7 week old baby and this phrase brought tears to my eyes! What a beautiful phrase, I’ll be reminding myself of this.
*In India* when a lady is pragnent before one month to baby comes one person from the girl side of the family or maybe from the boy side of the family comes leaving all work just to help the women who is pregnant and usually the person is who has an experience with babies before . All the care of bady is done by the lady , just the brest feeding is mom's job's And in that .... She is told various remedies if there is any problem she is having is brest feeding. Later she is explained how to give a baby bath properly etc *like full baby course is given to the newly mother* And all this is must to be done Or is a tradition to help the mom
That sounds like such a beautiful tradition. I think this or something similar to this is how it really should be. Becoming a mother is something that no one should have to go through alone.
Also in many african countries, like my country Kenya. I noticed that in the west we think we are responsible for everything but human lived in tribes so they can support each other. Eventhough we are the parents, there is also family there which their role is to support in such times and vice versa. We are not meant to deal with everything completely alone as 2 people. Thats why we have a community & family. 😊
Thank you so much for being honest. And the first thing I thought when I saw you was, “she looks like a grown up woman now!” there’s an aura of maturity and wisdom that comes with motherhood. Glory to God! I wish the best for you and your family. 🥰
Welcome back moma❤ Edit: WOOWWW! This was deep and raw. Thanks for being so honest and open, I’ve never ever heard anybody describe motherhood like this. They often make it seem easy. I can tell you, I’m going to need help and I hope my mom will be alive when my time comes.
I am a new mom to a 5 months old and so many things you express Ed are so relatable. As mkthers we sacrifice so much but also the list of expectations we feel from society... Its sometimes just too much but I am going to take it more easy and thanks for all your advices 💕
Sometimes I wonder what mothers even discuss with their daughters. I’m saying this because whenever I watch one of these “I didn’t expect/know” videos regarding birth/postpartum it always consists of what my mom and I casually talk about over dinner😂 Nonetheless motherhood looks beautiful on you love❤️ keep pushing you got this🫶🏾
My mother has told me nothing. Not a thing, beyond "Having kids isn't worth it. Find something else to fill your life with." XD Ergo, a video like this from Jasmyne is utterly invaluable for women like me, who stubbornly intend to have children anyways.
I think after so many years my mom just forgot how hard it is. The only thing she mentioned is her nipples bleeding. I'm 18 months out from having my 1st and the details of how hard it was are getting fuzzy.
My mom always acted like it was no big deal. She never really said it was a difficult and she didn't seem to remember much about the early days...totally not how it really is!!!
You just gave us the scoop! Thank you. I have been grieving my life honestly for awhile and I’m 34 weeks pregnant. I am a painter who is looking to start a business for help my household financially but because of the lack of space, i had to put all of my stuff in storage and don’t have room to work right now… this just really helped me to slow down even more because though I’ve been living a slower life now, I needed to remember I’m being life into the world and not to beat myself up if I’m not able to help as much as I care for our baby in the early stage.
I was really lucky because I decided to have my baby at a birthing center. That allowed me to have a doula and a midwife so after the birth it was constant help. Even if it was just a text message or video call they were there to assist me. And this was during the pandemic. Because that is something they never really speak on. After you bring my baby home is when stuff gets REAL. Congratulations on your baby!!
I'm a young girl, I'm excited to be married some day and have kids, and you make me trust that it's right even more, and also think of things to discuss with my future man before our baby comes. I appreciate you and this baby content sosososososo much, please please know that. I appreciate it to my soul and back at least four to a billion times. You make me want to be a mom even more, which is comforting, because I used to not want that as a little girl, and now it feels a bit strange every time I think that I DO want to have kids and stay at home, not have a career. You make me more sure of that descision than the literal science of the psychology of women wanting kids. I appreciate you and this content so much; thank you, Jasmyne.
You literally put into words so well everything I was feeling in the post partum phase with my son. I remember as we developed routines and he started sleeping longer and then I started sleeping longer, I remember him being about 4 months old when I truly felt like me, I had energy and love to give and that's when his babyhood really felt so fun and joyful. I always loved him but how you put it, being truly tapped out was so overwhelming at times. Now he is a sweet 3 year old and we have so much fun together and he regularly reminds me to have patience and grace! I think your video was such a gift to new and future mama's out there! You definitely have a gift for being well spoken and clarifying your thoughts!
I felt exactly the same what you were describing in this video 🎉 Thank you for your honesty 🙏🏼 I also had to take ibuprofen for breast feeding 🤱 while I was exhausted not being able to sleep due to my son was crying hourly 24/7…. I do feel you ❤
I'm glad you shared this because since all my experiences of having my children wasn't like this. I had my first few kids in unhealthy, dysfunctional, sinful situations and the only joy I had was holding and nursing and bathing my babies. Breastfeeding came so natural for me. Perhaps my life was so bad God in His mercy gave me just that. But I don't want to be judgmental to moms who had it hard. I did have the body changes but I was the opposite. I thought all the changes would go away with exercise and skin care, including stretch marks . So by the time reality hit it was too late to be sad about it.
Thanks for the realistic perspective on postpartum. As a first time mom with a now one year old, everything you said resonated. It’s so much harder than you can imagine but also so so worth it!! Love the content!
Hi again beautiful, I hear you on how you felt in postpartum but letting your body rest and surrender to postpartum is key one you surrender to it it feels beautiful in a way - 😊
I’m not a parent yet but I’ve been an in-home childcare professional for dozens of families + I have such a love for motherhood + supporting mamas + parents (studying to become a postpartum doula). so, I just want to say “sis, girl, mama, queen, you are doing a good job 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽!!” I hope you remember that 🫶🏽. your transparency is so beautiful + necessary-thank you for sharing with us. your vulnerability is helping other women be honest, feel seen, + advocate for themselves during the 4th trimester + the world is better because of that-because of you. so happy the journey is enjoyable for you now!! keeping you + rest of the mamas out there + your precious babies lifted up in prayer 🙏🏽.
I watched this at 40 weeks and thought I heard you, but tomorrow I am 6 weeks postpartum and I really HEAR you. Rewatching this video now was so cathartic, I was sobbing the whole time. Thank you for sharing your experience with the world ❤
I’ve been waiting for this moment and I’m so very happy That you’ve started posting again and I’m so very happy for you and your baby ❤ God Bless you ❤
So helpful to hear the bit about preparing mentally emotionally for when the baby is HERE, and not just the labor. Needed to hear that. June 23rd is our due date :) thank you for this.
Thank you so much for sharing, Jasmyne! I really appreciate your vulnerability and courage in sharing your experiences. I am not a mother, yet, but I hope to be one day and this video was very eye-opening and a great way to mentally prepare. Your story gives me ideas on how to better empathize with and support friends and loved ones who have or will have babies on day. God bless you and your growing family! Your baby girl is so blessed to have you as her mother.
I never thought for a second motherhood would be easy. I anticipated it would be the hardest thing I do in my life regardless of me being happily married with cool friends & family
Thank you for making this video. It's so comforting to hear that everything I went through was normal. It is not easy, but my baby makes it worth it! ❤ God bless!😊
omg this is soooooo real! Amazing video Jasmyne, thanks so much for being so honest here. I haven't had kids yet but we really want to in the future. NOT THE SAME THING AT ALL but when we got our dog I had similar feelings of mourning my life/freedom. Now I had this huge responsibility and had to work around it. It made me really sad for a while. It made me think about how I would feel being a mom because of course that's a far greater sacrifice and responsibility.
I agree, I love my stretch marks and my C-section scar. It reminds me of pregnancy fondly. My husband loves them too. He said he thinks it makes me look even more womanly. Lol
What precious information and what a thoughtful and caring way of passing it on! Thank u so much for sharing your experiences in such a true and at the same time sweet and caring way. All the best to you, many hugs from Brazil!
Something I did with my second that helped A LOT. I slept. All the time. As soon as baby felt asleep I would take a nap. I didn’t care if the house was a mess and how much stuff I needed to do I slept.
This vídeo was really important for me, ironically when I gave birth, the first weeks of post partum were the best because we stayed at my mother's house and she took care of me. So all I did was sleep and feed my baby, I didn't get depressed or angry because I was adequately sleeping and eating. Now my baby is 4 months old and I am feeling ALL that you felt in your first weeks. It is so hard to always feel like a failure, I also had an emergency C section which led me to be physically unable for days and it is still afecting my hability to function. I can't do house chores because it hurts, I can't sleep properly because it hurts and I can't carry my baby because he is becoming too heavy so it hurts. I will try to ask for more help as you suggested. It is too tough and I hate admitting that... I hate feeling like a failure, but I guess It really does take a village and not Just mom. Thank you again for this video. I hope it will get better for me too.
Thanks for sharing your video. I remember back in the day. Mom, Grandma or Auntie would come stay with daughter for the first month or two while daughter and father were adjusting to motherhood and fatherhood. My daughter and her husband’s first baby I basically kidnapped. Lol. and she said she could of done it without me by by baby #2 they had it down pat…. 😅😅
My kids are 12 and 13 and going into these teenage years I just recently expressed that I wish someone would have told me. It really is a life long duty
It will be ok. ....coming from a mother of twin plus one more....all girls....😍....I wish I knew then what I know now. Good of you to share straight forward. Get all the help you can get....just get it! They will grow...now 13,13,6 years old. Then you can😄
It took my baby and me 2 months to figure out breastfeeding so i had to pump most of the time until i got told about nipple shields. Whoever needs to hear this, even if your doctor doesnt recommend it because of potential "nipple confusion" - please try for yourself. Alsothe common nipple shields didnt worked for me. I used the one from haakaa with the bottle head. I hope this might help someone 🙏🏼
Libido does come back typically after your body is mostly recovered. Increasing protein especially meat protein and saturated fats are what help hormones to regulate properly.... no such thing as an essential carbohydrate and eating plant based typically helps with detox not rebuilding as much. Most moms start having libido between 6-12 months but if no sleeping through the night and harder pregnancy/postpartum 18 months. Kissing without expectation and cuddling/ spending time together helps to ignite affection for most. Many moms aren't interested but once they start with sexual activities their body will take over if recovered well from any injuries 4mo pp. If it feels repulsive or you had a vaginal delivery I highly reccommend going to a pelvic floor physical therapist as repulsion can be due to pelvic floor issues and if you are using latex condoms be aware that some women start reacting to them after going though pregnancy. .. made me want to crawl out of my skin/ throw up. Praying for you
Never related to a video more. Thanks for sharing your experience. My little one, who is my first, is now 3.5 months and things are much better 💕 I love being his mom.
I can see why there is no need for women to be priests as most of us can be mother's, there doesn't seem to be any human experience like this wild experience of selflessness and sacrifice!
“But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light:” 1 Peter 2:9 KJV According to the NT we already are “priests”, and Jesus Christ is the high priest (our connection to God the Father). Male or female. I think the role of a mother is very valuable, and having the worldly title of what a priest or not doesn’t take away from that. But yes, I agree ❤
Eat when the baby eats and sleep when the baby sleeps. Stay hydrated and have your husband or whoever is helping you bring you food constantly. People roll their eyes at the “sleep when the baby sleeps” advice but you are putting your baby at risk if you are sleep deprived. There’s no house work worth the life of your child.
Great! Just allow your wife some time and understanding. Many couples break up because of these changes that are too much for the men sometimes. It will all be good. Or maybe you'll just be lucky and everything will go smoothly. Congratulations and best wishes!
That is beautiful to hear. We’ve all seen women not have the care and support they need even though they could not control what happens to them in this process. Please be there for her 💯🙏🏽
So glad you spoke on the psychosis... A friend of mine began to hear voices and experienced moments of random rage due to her sleep deprivation and its very sad to witness. I didn’t realize how common postpartum psychosis was. Moms need help!
Well done dear. It truly is not easy. In Nigeria (south eastern), the mom of the new mother and mother-in-law take turns to cater to the new mother at least for the first 6 months. At times you get other relatives rally round to help with cooking, cleaning and other chores. So the new mom just eats, sleeps and feeds her baby. Even baby care (bathing) is also done by the mom. They also guide you on latching and other things. For you to do all that alone, it can take a toll on you. I am glad you are better now.🌺🌸🌺🌸
Exactly, that's the problem in the West. I heard of similar practices in Asia. I told my mother she should move in with me when I give birth. It was hypothetical. I'm not pregnant 😅 But I wanted to know if she would be up for it. She said, "no way, I did on my own, so you have to do it on your own." Isn't that crazy?!
That was what used to be common even in the West a century ago and still does in places where extended families stay near each other. The nuclear family model is a disaster and creates isolation from knowing and learning from those who lived before you. I grew up close to extended family and knew five generations that I gained so much wisdom from and felt very loved and helped. Bring back that extension and it'll give people more peace of mind. One's child isn't just you or your spouse's child, it's also God's child and the child of the rest of the family.
Thank the Lord, my husband stayed home for a month with me and then my mom came to stay with us for the second month. Then we moved up and stayed with my mom for 2 months. Having 4 months of constant help made all the difference!
I’m 38 1/2 weeks pregnant and this was SO hard to hear… I wanted to click out because some of it is terrifying. However, I’d rather be more aware of these things so I can self monitor and ask for more help before things get too overwhelming. Thank you for discussing these topics ❤
Right here with you. I am 28 weeks and after reading and researching, my fears have moved from L&D to the postpartum period/ fourth trimester. Best of luck to you!
I have 6 children and can attest to how hard it is but how it’s totally worth it. And the more babies you have the more your love multiples. It’s amazing!❤
I admire mothers with multiple children who manage it well and stay sane. I’m a first time new mom and even though after 12 weeks I know my baby quite well now, it’s so so hard physically and mentally. I can’t imagine putting myself through it again. Although I used to see myself having several children.
My husband and I are planning to try for a baby this year. I am 1000% sending him this video, because you did an amazing job explaining everything that I simultaneously didn't know about and need him to understand. Congratulations Jasmyne, you're doing fantastic!
One of the best things I did after birth of my children was having a post-partum dula (my mom) to run the night shift for the first two weeks. My mom stayed up and held my babies while I slept. Then she would bring them to me every two hours to nurse. This allowed me to actually *sleep* at night so I had energy to care for my baby during the day. And also meal-trains 😅
Thank you for sharing this video and being so raw and honest about your postpartum experience. I felt so much of what you were feeling but during my pregnancy. It was a terrible time between the changes in my body, the lack of support and emotional abuse from my sons father, and being far from my family. It was hell. I struggled so bad with depression and had those same thoughts of harming myself to stop the emotional pain. Thank God for bringing me through that. I think after all I went through it was by Gods grace alone that He allowed me to have a smooth transition into motherhood once my son was born. This video really helped me understand what most mothers go through and how hard the adjustment period and breastfeeding can be.
I needed to hear this. I’m so excited for motherhood but I’m naturally very naive to the experience. Definitely mentally preparing myself. But I know it’s gonna be worth it.
Even as a woman who’s not yet a mother, I really appreciated your candor and transparency in this video. I do think about being a mother one day, but you definitely brought to my attention some of the realities to expect, at least within the first six months of giving birth. I think a lot of women, and possibly men, idealize and fantasize about becoming parents and forget that there is a season of being in the trenches with your newborn until you find your rhythm and they eventually grow into a routine that matches yours as an adult. Anyway thank you again this was so enlightening and illuminating ❤
I've literally just overcome every element that you described my baby just started sleeping through the night at 12 months and just like that my hair is back, skin is back, libido is back, sense of humour, no more aches and pains. 😢😢😢 I'm not an emotional person but I literally burst in to tears watching this 😂😂😂
Loved this video and all the honesty. We always hear about the magical parts of motherhood, but not the tough parts. Good job for you for going through all this (especially postpartum rage and psychosis,) and still being able to acknowledge the value of suffering. God bless you and thanks for your videos!
This was so comforting to hear, reminders are so important sometimes 😅 I just had my first baby five weeks ago, and the sleep deprivation was real. The sleep-deprivation-induced tear-filled breakdowns were real too 😅😂 One of the most helpful things for me as far as getting adequate sleep has been is taking turns with my husband. No, we don’t really get to go to bed together, but getting a guaranteed 5+ hours of sleep a night while in survival mode is totally worth it. And even at the 5 week mark, I can confirm, it gets WAY easier. There’s hope, mamas! ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so proud of you for making it through those hardest weeks! I 100% would have benefited from this video before having my baby, so to anyone who's having a baby soon -- take notes! My main takeaway here is that it all gets better. My son is 6 months old now, and I forgot how wild the first couple of weeks were until I watched this video!
It was amazing but incredibly HARD being a mother the first time, it was EASY being a motherthe second time. Yes! It will get better. First time is so difficult. I had the same things you are describing. Lack of sleep makes anybody a sort of monster. It's scary. No, I don't miss the newborn stage. Haha. I loved everything about seeing my precious baby but would not want those first days back. Yes I carry my strech marks. They do get much better with time. My stomach was literally destroyed the first time, now it's almost decent. Yes, laughter is the best medicine. You are such a nice person. 😊 I can't even imagine you angry. Enjoy motherhood! ❤️
I had my second child just 2 weeks after you had your baby and the hardest for me is the exhaustion of managing a two year old and a little baby. They never sleep at the same time so I get zero minute of proper rest per day, my brain is always on and I experience this rage you mentioned, I don't recognize myself anymore. I also eat way too much because of stress and of the need for comfort, which means I'm gaining weight postpartum... and the worst of all is that I resent my oldest for just being here. It's like I don't know how to love her anymore because I'm too exhausted and she's too demanding. Really, it's hard.
I bought Ashwaganda & lemon balm tea to calm my nerves so I can sleep better. Would recommend. And remember that 8 hours of broken sleep is comparable to 8 hours of continuous sleep & walking can help to diminish effects of sleep deprivation 💞💞
Thank you for your honesty. Personally I appreciate that, i don't know why the previous generations didn't talk more about this. I feel more comfortable knowing the possibilities of motherhood.
In general previous generations had a support system mother so less of all these for new mommy. Its still th case in some part of the world, the women take care of the new mother sometimes 4 weeks.
Nothing can prepare you for how much work a baby can be, I had an easy pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding experience but at around two weeks my daughter started crying all day unless we bounced her up and down or took her for walks in the sling - every time I sat down to rest she would start to scream! My son was the opposite and was a chill baby! They are now both teens and are a delight to be with and I don't regret a second of motherhood but it was so much harder than I ever imagined beforehand. The best thing I ever did but also the hardest
This video is gonna blow up. I love this! Your honesty only makes me more grateful for my mother and all the mothers around me. Women need to hear this! Especially in the feminine / traditional community. We can be honest about these things and still be pro mamma pro family etc.
Congratulations mommy, my son will be 9 in April and this video reminded me of everything i went through so vividly, i remember the aches in my body, i relate so much, and u right it gets better, i remember the 1st few years all i was looking forward to was uninterrupted sleep and for him start speaking so he can say what he wants or feel, and dont have play the guessing game while hes crying. To this day i still dont fully belong to myself, but experience them getting into the own is so so rewarding. Congratulations again and great video as always.
Oh my goodness. Beautiful testimony. Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable about your journey. I'm not even a mother and have no plans to, but I've always felt that women's mental health would be so much better if they could just share honestly about what to expect about motherhood and the journey to get there. "Get ready to push"-Its funny you mentioned that! I had a childhood friend who said the same thing, that she didn't actually expect to be a mother until it was time to push 😅 It was like, all of a sudden, this weird 9 month journey she was on suddenly became very real to her. And I agree, I think pregnant women may spend too much time preparing for the birth, and NOT THE POSTPARTUM PERIOD. This is dangerous as it can lead to depression, anxiety, and even suicide if new moms are not sure what to expect after childbirth. Feeling of guilt/anxiety-Oh, my heart broke for you hearing that! Women already place way too much pressure on themselves to be perfect for everyone, all the time. New motherhood is like that times 1000 from what I've seen. My same friend from earlier, the first time I took her to lunch 3 months after her baby was born, she had a complete meltdown in my car because she felt like a 'bad mom" for being away from the baby for 30 minutes. I had to explain to her that, taking care of yourself is JUST AS IMPORTANT AS CARING FOR YOUR BABY. She had literally just been in her house with the baby for 3 solid months, she didn't even go to the mailbox. So yes, time away from your baby is needed! Breastfeeding-That all sounds so horrible! Especially if you want to do things as natural as possible and you find yourself struggling with it. I knew from my friend about mastitis, but I didn't realize how painful breastfeeding can sometimes be. Some women make it seem so easy! Thanks again for your honest portrayal of new motherhood. Content like this is why I love your channel! Blessings to you and your daughter 💕🙏🏽
I am not married and I haven't ever been pregnant, but I would like to be both someday. I have seen some articles/videos about "what no one tells you about having a baby" and several of them seem really negative. It's actually kind of scary to start thinking, maybe I shouldn't be wanting a baby because it will be so horrible and miserable and I'll regret it. It was very encouraging to see someone like you, who loves God and loves your baby and seems (from other videos) to have regained some rhythm in your life talk honestly about the challenges. I think the idea that It's only a phase and other women have struggles yet survive will help me when I do eventually have a baby. Because I also see plenty of women who seem to love having kids/babies. I feel like your video did a good job putting both things together in a non-despondent yet honest way.💗
In my culture the mother cannot take care of the baby alone, this job is for the aunts and grandma to help with as well. It’s sad to see ONE woman do the job of multiple people
You are so beautiful and strong. Thank you for being 100% transparent with us. Regardless of what you have experienced. I can tell that your an amazing mom 🌸💕
Thank you, Jasmine, for sharing this! Mine is 6 years old now, and I'm still trying to integrate the trauma of my labor and post partum stages. I tell people all the time that "I never knew how someone could shake their baby to death, until I had her." I know that sounds terrible, but knowing what I went through, how long it too us took us to come out of it and the fact that I did it completely alone (before even knowing Jesus), I feel like it's a totally valid statement. Hearing this brings me to tears. It's a deep sadness/empathy knowing how dark and lonely that stage is and an overwhelming comfort knowing that my experience was not a totally isolated fluke and I'm just a wimp for not being able to handle it. Thank you for bringing the real trauma of labor and postpartum into the light! 🙏🙏🙏🙏 When we are prepared we heal much faster!
Your sex life will improve! Also, mothers to be, please keep a lactation consultant’s number (local one) while pregnant just in case you need one later, so you don’t have to go searching during postpartum. If you have issues, you will likely need an IBCLC ASAP and see them at LEAST once per week, but 2 times ideally, or even three if possible and necessary. They can come to your home, too. Breastfeeding really is a whole thing, but right education, and most of all lots of prayer and persistence will yield success. In America, breastfeeding is a lost art, so we need professional help often times. Don’t hesitate, get it ASAP.
Its very hard when you don't have support. Not even society supports you. I feel guilty for not working. For not making money. I can't relax and focus on my baby. I miss my old life. I miss being able to work and then have my free time and not worry as much. It's so lonely. It's not just weeks it's months. I'll never be myself again. If i work I'll worry about my baby being taken care of properly I'll worry she'll miss me. I feel more like it's the worse thing and decision I've made. Sleep is a privilege. Men don't understand. Also you get to relive all your trauma you've experienced growing up when you have a kid. Help
Hi Sarah, im so sorry you feels this way. I completely empathize. It can be so hard - please don’t forget that so many mothers are going through the same thing right now so you’re not alone. How old is your baby?
