The first rule is Do Not "fix" things for him. Don't give him steps to follow or a plan of how to do ANYTHING. Supportive is just that; support. IF he asks for advice (more than likely he won't) then possibly offer a suggestion but the main message to give him is that you believe in him and you know he'll figure it out.
That "find a man who loves you more than you love him" is the same as settling! Ewwww! No no no! We don't settle. I want to be as in love with him as he is with me!
Just because he loves you MORE doesn’t mean you don’t love him. You can still feel very intensely about your man and rest assured with confidence that he is the one LEADING in love. There is nothing ewwww about being in love with a man who loves you more . It actually balances the relationship. The key is you must also love him.
The last guy I was with loved me more than I loved him (at first), but as soon as I fell for him, and he saw that he had control, he started treating me worse and worse until it was over.
@@satonyagonzales3636 sorry.. I hope you can get past the power struggle phase of the relationship.. it really sucks.. my ex and I still talk.. we just can’t manage to communicate properly and it always leads to arguments and hurt feelings.
@@h8h215 I admitted to changing? No. I admitted that as I began to love him more, he began to love me less. Or at least respecting and valuing me less. I believe it is the “power struggle” phase of a relationship that psychologists talk about. The make or break period.
Now, my husband has all the OTHER biblical knowledge and wisdom and understanding, but he needs prayer when it comes to biblical wisdom, understanding, humility, unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness, and responsibilities as a husband in our marriage 🙏 his name is S. Bowan Grossnickle "Bo"
Thank you for everything that you do, Stephan! We appreciate all the time, energy and effort you put in to create content and share your wisdom with us! 💐
I listen to like 5 other relationships advice guys from youtube, and i agree and like yours the best, you a blessing thank you, your advice really helps
A cottollary to love you more than you love them is better to be the right person than to find the right person. You've got to find a right enough person to BE the right person for. Because it's hell to lose you trying to be the right person for someone who will never see you that way.
I watched a junior welterweight fight, from over 20 years ago and winner was Wade. He kept his arms up for every punch 🥊 and I could tell 10 round he’d keep his up [protected]. He did. He went through a below belt punch in one round and a draw by one judge, led him to win fight 🏆. I believe it and have that visual now. (about point 3 in 16:48)
Pursue defined: follow or chase (someone or something). Chase defined an act of pursuing someone or something. Can you elaborate on what you mean so you create a distinction between the two please.
I heard my ex-husband ask one of his friends... Which girl loves you more? I didn't like it at the time I heard it. That also made me think is what he did with me and his ex-girlfriend. I feel it should be which one do you see yourself being with for the Long haul, it needs to be a mutual thing.
SPLENDID MAGNIFICENT Stephan am running out of adjectives now Are there anyone looking for solid God related relatioshop advice ? Just meet Stephan Speaks i can asure u that your search will be over
Another great video ! Thank you for making great consistent content ❤️!! I’ve have watched so many of your videos but I still have this question. Me and my bf have been together for 1 year. We have a great healthy relationship. He is husband material but he has not brought up marriage. Is this normal for most men ? Every thing he does and how he treats me feels like he is my husband. So I know he probably would want to get married. But can you clear this up for me. Is there a timeline that I should be aware of?. We have met each others families , we live in our own apartments and see each other weekly and consistently, we are best friends, but I’m wondering why he has not talked about marriage with me ?
such a great video and is very needed! I have a quick question, I had a guy where he would turn really clingy, hit me up too much, or touch me too much (it turned me off) whenever his insecurities would spiral (we called it, code orange). I told him, this is something he had to work on as this could potentially be a deal breaker for me. I cant be the one to help you, but I can support you. He was upset saying I wasnt willing to be there at his worst. Was I wrong?
What if you're married and you struggled with depression aince you were 13 years old and you're 33 now, and you got married nearly 6 years ago, and a herniation in your lumbar area starts to get really bad, and you start to not be able to work out and eventually you cant work and need help getting dressed and you gain weight and struggle with depression and you get the surgery but you start to struggle with depression and substance use and your husband eventually abandons you and he has abandoned me for three years and just has completely neglected me and the marriage. He is a christian and he continues to choose division until i meet his expectations of continued complete abstinence of any and all substances (which i am 100% willing to do and want for myself), but in the bible it says what God has brought together let no man separate and so much more and i dont believe he should be treating me this way as his wife and adding man made recovery rules into the marriage that doesn't align with God's Word.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks thank you. That gives me a lot of confirmation. I have just come to conclusion that I just pray that the Lord reveals to him and convicts him and my husband will realize one day what sort of things he's been wrong about and chooses to follow the Lord when it comes to our marriage and his role as a husband and makes changes to make it right.. I know him well enough to have that deep intuition about his heart and what usually happens with him. And that is usually what happens with him, he usually comes to a revelation and a conviction and turns to God and repents. About me, I have a plan in place. I have had a lot of healing straight from God Himself, but have been trapped in a fentanyl physical chemical dependency that has been seemingly IMPOSSIBLE and HOPELESS to break free from. Keep us both in prayer please. I think that's going to happen with my husband someday, I truly do. 🙏 Thank you, Stephan, your RU-vid videos have been a huge blessing to me. I have the audio book of prayers for my marriage and the physical copy that went to my husband's home.
@@Wonderwoman79G I've been through like 50 different recovery places, I can teach a class and help others, I have just been dealing with depression in the past and then my husband's poor reactions and then kicked out of my home because of my husband's bubble and close mindedness in recovery, and I think he's been given some bad advice and had been lead in the wrong way. Recovery rules are not God's rules when it comes to a marriage. And I've just been getting worse because of the pain and the abandonment and trying to keep myself afloat and survive and been dealing with homelessness and this really bad chemical dependency that is nearly impossible to break free from .I want nothing to do with drugs and alcohol. They have to come up with a solution for people who get trapped in the chains of fentanyl, it's a very complicated chemical dependency, it's different than any other opioid. Every time, no matter how long I wait, I keep taking the buprenorphine too soon and it's a horrible feeling. It's unbearable to go through the withdrawals and the "precipitated withdrawals" that happens when you take the Suboxone/Subutex too soon, it's impossible to get through. I've gone thru it too many times and I'm a really really tough person. And I can't do it I have to try methadone or something cause it's the only thing you can take without throwing you into precipitated withdrawals. But I have to get off of it quick or I will have the same problem with the methadone as I have with the fentanyl. It's a serious issue that the health department or whatever needs to find a way to help fentanyl users with. Cause when you want to break free, you can't. You're in chains.
Next on the list is women dumping a great guy because she thinks her friends will laugh at her and generally succumbing to the hive mind of her friends. I've experienced this many times because of my previous job in the skilled trades or my current status at the school. Another thing that women are notorious for.
Thank ya Jesus!! I used to say Jesus is my husband on repeat to men who wouldn't take no for an answer when hitting on me 😂😂😂😂 it's just to avoid dating or unattractive situations and make yourself feel better lol
The idea that you have to have written a book or whatever on top of accomplish things in your career etc is ludicrous. Bad examples, maybe yes, you need to have overcome some kind of personal challenge and be in a happier self accepting place, i can certainly buy into...i don't buy into the idea that you have to perceive yourself as heading towards the perfect version of you,in order be ready for a relationship, is a damaging self limiting belief.
Next is a women dumping a great guy because she thinks her friends will laugh at her and/or succumbing to the hive mind of her friends. I have experienced this many times based on my job in the Skilled Trades and the current status of "just the Shop Teacher" at my school.
I had it and it didn’t work 😂 he literally loved me too much and it was overwhelming and turned into control. The fixation was way too much. Now I just be in love with myself and allow a man I’m interested in to show if he can provide, protect and profess for my love in return and we must have the skills to maintain, communicate and stay connected in romance, honesty and honor! Always turn to God for any confusion and guidance outside of each other!
Your mother gave you good advice. Listen to your mother. Why do people confuse MORE with not at all? Just because a man loves you more (which he should) does not mean you don’t love him. You can love him immensely and he loves you MORE. Which the man is commanded to do according to God… “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church”…. And “wives respect your husbands “. Nowhere in the Bible are women commanded to love a man more than he loves her. Doesn’t Christ love us more than we love Him?
@@MJWife07 you actually have a valid point… but I guess when you marry a guy who you think loves you and it turns out he just wanted you because you complete an image he was trying to perpetrate. I guess you kind of don’t know what to think.
@@candicelondon-hessert8723trust me I can totally relate. Unfortunately all too well. I am currently married to a man who does not love me as a wife and cares for me for all the wrong reasons. He personally told me that if I wasn’t a good wife he would’ve been left me. The question is why would you want to leave a good wife? So that alone proves that he doesn’t love me for real….or either just don’t want be married…which is why we are separating and sadly headed for divorce. Now I usually don’t spread my business especially online but I felt lead to be transparent.
This is spot on, not easy to understand when you are mentally not ready or capable of listening 👂. Plus you can’t admit your flaws and much less talk about trauma. It’s a process, mindfulness of yourself and nobody but yourself.
Stephan I love your videos! They are really helpful and they provide lots of good advice. But I must say, you are too funny and I love the way you laugh 😊 😍😁😁 Today I am having one of dem days 😉 and listening to your video made me feel better. I am Italian and I live in Italy so not always can I relate to your description of men, men are men of course and there are some cultural differences still you have helped me a lot and I have learnt a lot from you ❤ I want to thank you and please keep up with the good work! Hugs!
The reason why I got into a bad relationship is because I didn't know how to love myself more. But now with God's healing, I know I deserve way better.
We deal with many people online we wouldn’t deal with live. High value men don’t waste their time with online dating just like jaguar doesn’t advertise in TV because men who buy jaguars don’t spend time watching TV. 🙄😊, high value women don’t waste their time with online dating. I’m no longer online - it’s just not how I want to spend my time or my frequency-vibration. Time you spend on the wrong guy is time taken away from right guy.
How about talking about "hot chemistry", "spark", "tingles" "attraction" over long term compatibility and true love? In my experience women are notorious spark chasers. Hence all of the PUA advice to create "chemistry now" in order just to get a date.
We all come with flaws…if you are with someone you are excepting the flaws. There is no such thing as a build a partner workshop where you pick and choose what parts of a person you want. No matter how much you work on yourself there will still be flaws and scars and baggage
Stephan, thank you for the clarity. I was one of those women who thought longevity meant success because the two are together. I don't think that way anymore.
If someone can tolerate you at your worst that's one of the best thing that can happen to anybody more blessings please Lord. When you are busy at God work as well he blesses you plus this relationship comes when you are occupy doing tangible stuff like working as well.
Bringing out the best in each other should be something that both parties strive for and shouldn't be hard to work on when you truly care about yourself and the person of your interest.👍🏼 🤔My thoughts on that last piece of advice.😊
I agree with you Stephan. That is why I don't take advice from everyone when it comes to dating. Some people will lead you down the wrong path. You will be living by yourself with a house full of cats lol. I go to God. I have 3 people who I can talk to about relationships and grow folks business. Thanks for this video. I appreciate every advice you have shared. I have learned a lot from your videos and books. I respect people who keep it real. I don't have time for all that fake stuff. Relationships and marriages are not easy. It takes work from both sides.
That advice is iffy.....you can't find a job without applying 🤷🏾♀️ but I agree on organic connections or allowing it to flow naturally, not forcing the energies
Hey hun, just thought I would jump in. There are no rules for finding your person, there is only support and advise to help you get there and to help avoid too many bumps on your journey. All that is needed is to be your authentic self, listen to your intuition, listen to your body, heal to become the best version of yourself, continue to do things that you love, to attract the love that makes life, and love yourself. Love God and you will be peaceful and above all, naturally peacefully with someone
Dating and relationships are nonsense. The conversation needs to be about getting and staying married. Ladies, meditate on that instead. If 'dating' coaches are not specifically and only talking about that, RUN !!
I just want to be a lady❤ and let the man be masculine💪. Because I’m a fitness trainer, it’s hard to let him take the lead and love on me when I’m used to being in control.
@@MeetStephanSpeaks I have been single for over a year. During this time, I have been working on myself physically, mentally, and financially. So I believe I am Ready. ❤️
That’s what I thought I better go for someone that is more into me then me into them as I want a provider type of man and that’s harder to find but sounds like you are saying no it’s not good to do
If men and women are equal in population and not all men are good men then logically not all women are either good or has a good man being sent to them by god, its logically impossible. Learn how to love yourself without requireing a partner to do that for you because you never know you might be right and not be the lucky one.
Hey can u make one one guy with best friend thing and when a guy introduce some women as just friend who then is denounced as best friend on the date when I meet him.... I fear I am being betrayed in worst possible way it can't be other way around right.
I loooove u and ur content but I have to disagree with online dating! I tried dating online for years and it's just people leftovers! Guys that can't find any play in real life
My video on how to find a good partner online will give you the clarity you need. Check it out here 👉 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3BlghTYQOAk.html
Guys? And girls, you ass found your way to online dating too right? Cmon queen lets be honest now, i know accountability is like cryptonite but you can do it.
i felt like i was giving him what he wanted/needed and felt like we both loved each other so deeply and equally but still got cheated on bc he couldnt communicate that he felt like he wasnt getting the things he wanted/needed. i feel like if he would have just communicated with me, we could have created a better relationship but at the same time obviously he wasnt the one for me and i wish he would have just broke up with me instead of sneaking around and lying and manipulating me to thinking he was really into me😔
Why is finding a mature man who uses their intellect, and emotional intelligence to lead the relationship so hard nowadays. Most men think a relationship is black and white.
I believe it's a selfish act saying your spouse should love you for who you are, you should be willing to work on yourself and get better, remember it's for your own good too
A lot of people that says take me flaws and all is a red flag because they come across as someone that's going to do something Faul and want you to respect it .
Yeeeees! So much of the bad advice just reaks of settling. There is no reason to settle and there is no reason to be toxic either. I love that as much as you hip women to dating do's and dont's you also call us out. We need to denormalize the take me exactly as I am, toxic traits and all, and normalize the inward work and healing.
Thank you, I know i had a man who wanted me to take care of him buy his clothes,food, and still sex him so after 7 years i did broken up with him and i am waiting on God to now
So blessed to b able give advise to us women in respectful honest true words wish there were more men like u to have relationship with. Noone perfect but u know so much bout different subjects❤
Would you do a video about online dating and some tips for setting up a good profile? Not asking you to give up the farm, but give us something to get us started.
Thanks for the suggestion. I’ll add it to my list of requested videos! In the meantime, you might like this video on how to find a good partner using online dating 👉 ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3BlghTYQOAk.html
26:00 made me laugh too cause I often say that to myself when I feel lonely but I never got peace with it. Thanks for stating and clarifying all points ❤
Also been doing your healing process after reading your book finding love after heartbreak. Its been taking me 2 months to write all those letters but my life is taking a turn of 180. I recommend. Thank you. For sharing it with us. A great therapy.
Glad I could help. Healing is definitely key and thank you for sharing your experience! Hopefully, it will help others learn from it. I appreciate that ❤ 🙏
I thought that was good advice 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ the first one but then I said before you said it" makes sense because it is imbalance. I thought that they would appreciate me more! lol I have definitely experienced this.and It was a great feeling! I heae ya! I am listening...
Thank you so much for this! I really felt that you made so many wonderful and instructive points here, you actually challenged my reality as well which I appreciated so much.I resonated with the point of Divine timing, I'm single now and I do feel that there is someone that God/Divine has for me but also that there is something like my work that needs to expand before that person can walk into my life. I'm not religious but spiritual but your words actually resonate with me so much and I'm so grateful for your honesty and guidance.Blessings and love and light to you ❤🙏
😊 I like your tips on how women can improve chances for a better relationship. One you discussed was thinking a man should chase you- very good insight provided- however, what about good men who think that’s what they are suppose to do? I don’t think we should chase each other. I hate this term, chase…. sounds like competition and game playing. Language is everything and often misleading. Generation after generation passes these terms down as advice.
