@@TwoHotTakes i found this yb video with him explaining it on the 3th chapter. Good luck :D ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pvkTC2xIbeY.html&ab_channel=tubics
@@TwoHotTakes i think if you include the timestamp in your description, it will block out the time for you on your video. Never tried to know if it'll work, but worth a shot
Love that 👍 Amazing grandparents are great, but no one has a right to be a grandparent. Kids and adults want parents, so you fucked up if the adult decides you’re bad enough that they don’t want a parent and do not want their child to have a grandparent.
@@clairer342 Been in this sitch, & even worse than jacking with a child's spouse is what these parents drag their own kids through in the process. I believe there is ZERO justification for treating kid(s)-in-law poorly. You treat your OWN child poorly in the process. Everyone grown needs to act like it.
If that m.i.l. was tough enough to confront a grieving mom at the baby's funeral she's tough enough to call and apologize on her own behalf. She's not sorry she just wants access to the new baby
Re: the drunk brother story How can anyone say he didn’t realize who she was when he literally said her name RIGHT BEFORE trying to kiss her??? If he said a different name then that would be an understandable excuse to say he mistook her for someone else, but he said HER. NAME. and immediately after tried to kiss her. He knew who she was.
I had a friend who was raped by her older brother and he continued with this behavior several years later. She told her parents because it messed her up mentally and it was no difference. Today they have a better relationship and she has "just put it under the carpet". It is so difficult when it comes to family and you otherwise have a good relationship with them. My advise to OP is to cut him off if that is what she needs to do. And do not get drunk or in an otherwise fragile state around the brother that he can misuse. Cause I'm sure he will.
@@nicholelasater4881 oh a pick me is a type of person(usually a woman) that degrades her/his gender for the validation of the other gender. Usually that person is also super sexists!
That first story that mom doesn’t love her which is sad but to do that to her child after knowing how long she has been with her partner and demand that she not get married is vindictive and mean.
Why aren’t there more comments about the disgusting father sleeping with the daughters friend for years? Like that man literally deserves some jail time. But the mom shouldn’t be blaming the daughter for her husbands actions and him failing the marriage. She’s scapegoating because she knows her husband clearly didn’t want to be with her
I know!! I know this is so old but omg I ran to the comments after I heard that , it made me sick to my stomach. I thought for sure I’d see more ppl shitting on him and having some sympathy for the girl. It made me a bit sad to think OP might blame her friend as much as her dad.
I can’t imagine that there is any amount of alcohol that could make someone forget that they are trying to kiss their f*cking sibling! That man was already creepy towards her and the fact he pushed her to drink as soon as she turned 18 is just so sus. She should go no contact with the brother and if the parents aren’t repulsed by their sons behaviour and keep protecting him cut contact with them too. I hope op can heal from this
These stories make me appreciate mother-in-law, whom I consider my second mom, sooooooo much. Like this lady legit bought me nursing bras when I had my kids. ❤️
Also, with the brother-trying-to-kiss-his-sister story, let’s not forget that right before he leaned in to kiss her, he said “Oh” and then HER NAME. So that’s clearly bullshit that “he didn’t know who she was”... LOL he literally identified her right before.
I am less concerned with the weird dynamic of the first story as everyone is adults, it’s not like anyone grew up together or was raised together. No one is biologically related. It also makes visiting the parents much easier as they’re both in the same place. 😹 My problem is with the secrecy and the implication that their choice should affect her and her fiancé at all and whether or not they get married. Perhaps his dad will see just how crazy her mother is and get an annulment. One can only hope.
@@el_kitteh720 yeah that’s the biggest problem by far. If anything the mom should have been like you probably have a longer life, so your marriage will bring you joy for more years, not the other way around. And it was rude to elope before them. The kids had dibs 😂
@@Lovethyself887 I only see the problem if they have been raised together as siblings since they were really young. Like my cousin is adopted. She was adopted when I was 4 and she was 1.5 years old. Technically, we don't share DNA, but she is still my cousin. If it would have been someone actually living in my household as my sibling, it would be even weirder. (Also, NOT IN AMY WAY SAYING I WOULD DATE MY COUSIN! JUST TOOK IT AS AN EXAMPLE!) But yeah. No shared DNA usually applies, unless you have grown up together and actually see each other as siblings.
The father and friend ‘grooming’ story. I feel so bad for OP. It’s like the mother is lashing out at the daughter because she is hurt by the news she had to tell her. She’s angry that she heard something she didn’t want to hear. Maybe she knew deep down but didn’t want to face reality and then when it came to light, she got furious at the fact that her denial was supported by hard evidence and it got too real for her. It’s wrong of her to be angry at OP, but she is deeply hurt to know that her husband is a predator. I think everyone needs therapy and the father need to be put behind bars.
I find it fucked up because depending on what the father did, the friend is also a victim. With cheating, the one in the relationship is supposed to guard it so even if she was an adult, he would be at fault. And he most probably groomed her to have sex with her on the day she became 18, she could also be a proxy for the daughter. Super fucked up.
I once dated a guy that’s parents swapped with his sister’s boyfriend’s parents lol. Weirdest thing ever. His mom started dating the dad, and then the other mom was bitter and furious, so she then started dating his dad and they completely swapped houses and everything. The sister ended up breaking up with the guy later on and the parents are still swapped. It was super awkward for years and still is, and this past year, the sisters ex passed away. Talk about a lifetime movie. My ex was super messed up over it all
I don’t blame the ‘bad mother’ OP for declining to accept her MIL’s ‘apology’ and financial help with Baby #2. Money comes with strings attached and MIL’s clearly shown how toxic she can be when shit goes sideways, so the last thing OP would want if there’s another congenital heart problem is not being able to do what’s best for her child because MIL has more ‘power of the purse.’
@@Orion_TheyThem the pun really only makes sense the way the other person said it but I guess it's one of those things that if enough people say it one way that's what the saying becomes.
You actually CAN win with a narcissist. You win by choosing to NOT engage with them. You win by setting extremely strict boundaries and never relent on that decision or position. Narcissists ABSOLUTELY hate if when they can no longer control, affect you, and/or manipulate them.
I’ve gotta admit, Alejandra and Lauren are my favourite people that you have episodes with. I don’t get really all that excited about popular guest from tiktok or otherwise, I always get more excited for episodes with Alejandra and Lauren. And Justin, he’s always got good responses!
@@wisneta my friend gave that a try and she think it's alright. I think it's over-reaching to find an BFF right away, but it's a good change to find a hang-out buddy to start with. That point on is just if both parties want to care about each other more enough to become better friend eventually. best of luck to you know, moving is always a big change....
I know of sisters that married a pair of twins. It’s a strange dynamic but there’s technically no incest or anything like that. I feel like if the parents wouldn’t have had so much secrecy, and they hadn’t gotten married so quickly, it wouldn’t have been as bad. The mom was super toxic in saying the OP should cancel her wedding, but if they would’ve been open and honest that they liked each other, maybe they would have accepted their relationship eventually.
Really loving the podcast! Been binging them while driving because I personally don’t know how to navigate through Reddit. Just finished the entitlement episode and wanted to say since the ladies said they’re sensitive girls; I hope that (even though it’s easier said than done) you guys don’t take negative comments too much to heart. I know you guys think you sometimes sound stupid but I can just tell that you guys are educated women and are learning how to be better and better after each episode. And real talk.. I’d like to assume that most convos between best friends are usually lighthearted and la di da sometimes and not robotic. It wouldn’t be easy to listen to robots talking about saucy stories. Keep up the great chats ladies ❤️
Therapy needs to be more widely accessable and affordable. Some therapists are a hundred or two hundred for one hour. I definitely can't afford it and I'm not shocked more people don't have therapists, shits expensive! I choose food and a roof over my head. unfortunately that means mental health is not top priority 😵😵
That first story, that mother was insane. Unhinged! Also A lot of lgbtqi+ people have chosen families and we often have issues with our families. So when people say blood is thicker than water or friends are temporary but blood is forever. Doesn't apply for everyone.
Kintsugi is the most beautiful way to see the part you guys talk about "breaking the glass" in a relationship. It can be beautiful after being fixed. My Husband and I definitely both broke the glass but it was created into something more beautiful with the gold of love. ❤
@@Alejandra-hz6ct AHAHAH funny thing is i made this fake name in MIDDLE school bc i thought someone would steal my identity (like someone would want a 12 y/o’s identity tf) so this isn’t even my real name so i don’t even know how to change it so you’re ALL GOOD lmfaooo
I feel like the woman with the drunk brother story should seriously consider going to therapy to help her work out her feelings and how to move forward. That’s twisted, and would honestly mess up my brain. I feel so terribly for her and this situation that he put her in.
these stories mind blow me tbh. I thought my family was crazy (i mean they are) but wow people can make decisons that are fucked up. also love your podcasts!! yall need more views!!
The father sleeping with daughter's friend is disgusting to say the least,the father and friend should be ashamed of themselves but the mother blaming the daughter is crazzzy ,she just only found out and she didn't cover up for them which speaks volumes about her character,my heart really goes out to the girl🤍
Isn’t that what forgiveness is? To stop harboring hate & ugliness towards others. Forgiveness doesn’t mean welcoming them back into your life or whatever. It means to let go of that ugliness & it’s not for the other person but for yourself since it’s the only way to properly heal.
About the story about the mother who married the fiancé’s father... If that were me, I’d use every opportunity to be like “what are you doing step bro?” 😂
for story one if i was OP and my mom said “cancel your wedding because it’s inappropriate to marry your step brother” i’d simply respond “you’re the weirdo for marrying your son in laws dad” and then disinvite her from the wedding!!
I always thought I would want kids if I ended up getting pregnant but I got an abortion earlier this year. I definitely don’t want kids or to be pregnant 💀
I absolutely do not see the problem that anyone had in the mother marrying the fiance's dad story. There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying your stepbrother, especially under those circumstances, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with the parents getting together either. Neither person should have to break up their relationship or cancel their wedding. There's no blood relation, and there isn't even a growing up together relation. There's nothing there to be grossed out or upset about.
Love you guys I found your page a few days ago and have been watching you guys nonstop since! I’m a new mom of two under two to say less you guys are giving me life!!! Keep up the great work!
Watching this right now with mom drama & see y’all are like we won’t come for them since it’s almost Mother’s Day …. I’m like oh it’s a recent episode … nope 2 yrs ago this algorithm tho 😂😂😂
If you are so drunk you don’t know you are trying to kiss your sister- go to rehab. No alcohol can make you attracted to your sister unless you already were. Hope she stays far away from him since it seems like he will do something to her again. If she was going to confront him it needs to be supervised with the rest of the family so she is safe.
For the second story, is it really an invitation, an apology if people are DEMANDING that you go? If they're blaming you for the situation? Hey, MIL, actions have CONSEQUENCES. You can apologize if you want to; it's HER choice whether or not to accept it. DEAL WITH IT, MOM.
First, I'm obsessed with your pod cast, I just found it and I've been BINGING all of them. Third story, all of them but the daughter needs to be submerged in rice 😂 ❤️❤️❤️
Mom married fiancés dad: she and her should still get married. Step siblings getting married is not a big deal. But her mother does NOT deserve to be a part of her life anymore.
I wish I got therapy when my parents divorced ! I have serve trauma from what my mom put me through. Now I'm a mom of 2 beautiful girls & I try my absolute best not to repeat my mother's steps.
Okay the story about the friend having an affair with the dad, it does sound like grooming and it also sounds like victim blaming. She just turned 18 when they first hooked up (probably before that).
Alejandra's experience at the end is so similar to mine! Similar age range and situation. The psychologist said I was perfectly normal. I was going through hell, but they called it fine?!
if you guys end up doing a mother-in-law episode totally hmu i got stories for days about my paternal grandmother towards my mom, her family, and even my own dad!!!
Re: the dad sleeping with the friend story I know I’m super late here (now that I’m caught up on the audio episodes I’ve started watching the youtube versions), but I did find it upsetting and a bit concerning to hear both of you not only placing blame on the friend but continuing to emphasize it. You had the right idea that the father absolutely groomed her and is a predator, except you then missed the point that because of that fact, the friend is completely absolved of any fault. That is victim blaming. I know it’s hard to fully see it that way given that all of it is coming out years later when she’s fully an adult and the relationship has continued, but she still is and was absolutely a victim. I’m sure you guys have addressed this and grown from it in the year since this episode came out, but I only wanted to leave the comment since I couldn’t seem to find any others mentioning my concerns. Loved the rest of the episode otherwise ❤
This first story reminds me of what my mum did to my brother! She dated and got engaged to his girlfriends dad, but she said it didn't matter that they were dating and didnt understand why my brother and his beautiful partner wouldn't speak to her for close to 2 years. Now 4 out of 6 of her kids dont speak to her me included 😂
Second story- I’ll be honest. I’m hard headed ash. I will win, narcissist or not😅 to me, I would say if you are truly sorry, come to my house ALONE and talk to me about it. No family involved. No antics or pandering from/to everyone. Show me genuine care and consideration and remorse the way anyone else would. And do not insult me further by offering money for medical expenses when you have already said I’m not capable of managing medical complications myself. You will have no involvement in any future medical experiences because of these completely damaging words. I also expect that you apologize for putting the blame entirely on me and further dragging the family into attacking a grieving mother. Never single me out like this again.
first story: if i were OP, i’d be petty and publicly state that i have been with fiancé for 5 years, and mother and fiancé’s father (NOT stepfather - fuck that) had the audacity to date and elope behind our backs and demand we end our engagement, which has been longer than their relationship. and then declare that i am still marrying fiancé because my mother is no longer my parent, and no longer in my life. also, there is no person who would hear that story when explained and not think that the mother and stepfather are disgusting human beings
That was so well put! By not forgiving, your treated like you’re the reason for disruption. It’s so absurd! Let me be on my own terms. I’m not responsible for cleaning the shit that hit the fan
I feel like there are different types of forgiveness. Complete Forgiveness- Used for small grievances, like being late or forgetting an anniversary. Forgiveness of Convenience- You've done something wrong we need to return to and discuss, but neither party has the mental or emotional energy to do so. False Forgiveness- Used to save face, in mostly marriage or familial relationships. True Forgiveness- Both Parties understand the problem and can discuss it healthily and move forward. Changed, but not to damaged.
First story? I would’ve went and got married in secret immediately. Like if the courthouse was still open I’m going that day and getting the license. Hell I’d even pay extra to do the classes so I could get married sooner, and get it done at the courthouse with my dad and a family member of his choosing. Then I would “surprise” my mom with the good news, and the pregnancy.
I love ur podcast!! U and ur friends are so raw and genuine AND intellectual like wow love to see it keep at it girl!! youll be huge one day mark my words bby!!
About the brother kissing story I could really relate, I was a lot younger and he’s Only 5 years older but the amount of loss u feel for both of yours relationship is huge, I’ve chose to forgive cause he’s the one to come to me and apologize when I didn’t know if it was real or not but the relationship never recovers fully and my moms reaction was nothing like I wanted and it really hurts, especially when it was nothing in your control and you were blamed for it.
I was raised to respect my elders but I’d my MIL told me I’m a bad mother at my son’s funeral, I’d fucking lose it! I’d throw hands at that point! How dare you kick someone while they’re down? Those parents are going through probably the worst thing that can happen in any ones life. How cruel!
story 2- sorry alejandra, but there’s no defending the mother in law. her behavior wasn’t changed by grief, it sounds like from the beginning that mil was pissy that op was taking her son to doctors instead of healing him with crystals. and she used the pettiness to try to shame her on the day of her son’s funeral. there’s no grief changing, that was consistent from the day of diagnosis. i was thrown off by alejandra right off the bat not seeing the red flags, but it was the devils advocate coming in clutch lmao
Yo, 28 year old millennial here. I change my mind about having babies every day. I think the issue is that some days my anxiety is more severe, and those are the days that I can’t stop thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong with having a baby. On the other days, all I can think about is how adorable a little mini me/my husband would be. It’s a serious struggle.
The only person you should have it out for when cheating happens is the cheater. Not the person they cheated with, not the person who discovered it, just the person who cheated. They made the decision. They broke their word. They are ones who had the ability to choose fidelity or infidelity. I'm not saying be best friends with the person they cheated with. But the person who cheated is at blame and responsible for all of the pain and betrayal.
