Fear and hunger 2: Termina - Olivia tells Daan her condition all olivia dialogue [ARCHIVE] 

It really sucks how you're going through that. Cancer is a bitch, I'm manifesting a successful recovery for you. Stay strong, Ava!

Hello, hope you're doing fine. Just so you know, It'll get better even if you don't think so at the moment. I've also had a medical condition for a very long time, and it was horrible, for years I couldn't live like a ordinary young man. But since 2 years, it finally got better, and my condition improved a lot. I started going to college, I also go to the gym, I even fell in love. Bad things seem distant to me now, and I know It'll also be your case soon enough. You just have to be strong and hang on, I believe in you

@@fbisecretinvestigation6522 You know - it's funny, with your name, profile picture, and the start of the sentence, with how it was perfectly cut off by the email's short version, I thought you'd be some spambot saying there was some report about me or other and I needed to show the funny numbers on the back of my card or subscribe to clear things up. But reading on, seriously, I appreciate that a lot. You're right, I... I pushed very hard for a surgery that I was told would kill me, 1/3rd chance. Huge liver tumour. Prime target for being the thing that offed me if I /didn't/ get it knifed. The surgery went well. Surprisingly so, even to the great complaint of my oncologist who kept telling me to start hospice, palliative care treatment, and to give up on being so strong minded and step back on that offensive footing. Recovery, not so much, but it's been a few months and my most recent scan, one off from the last that told me I was practically dead already, has us all (family, doctors, friends and more) shocked that... 13+ tumours all drilling through my skeleton have stopped working entirely. That the liver is absolutely clear. That weirdly, I have only a few new ones despite it having been eight months and I usually gain a minimum of two a month. I've got a chance to fight my way back to a stable position. My oh so pacifist oncologist even apologised for not supporting surgery in her own way, and is making up for it by pushing /hard/ for my kidney tumour(s) to be taken out via experimental cryotherapy. Big turnaround. I ask her, tentatively, "do you think this has actually given me more time, now? You told me surgery would only speed up the end and weaken my body..." And get back, that I have a year, if not years if we can capitalise and properly move forward against this body invading mess. I said to someone on Reddit, who had said he'd suck-start a pistol if he even got diagnosed with cancer, as he couldn't bear to go through that treatment. Characterising it as soul destroying and taking away your personhood and so on, that honestly, that hurts to hear for one, I'm worth more than an instant suicide, my time with this has inversely been the best of my life. Recognising myself internally, finding my "true" interest and going wild with it (history, antiques and photography of such) as well as finally, a god damn boyfriend who somehow sees past a body more scar tissue and cancer than not, and appreciates it all for me! I told him, to get to the point, that you have to ALWAYS keep fighting. The light may run low, you may see no way out, that I sure fucking don't, but hitting that wall over and over, you may at some point see a crack, and then it may give, right as the big movie monster is about to catch you. And lo and behold, guess what's happened to me, months after that reply, I broke through, escaped the 80s flick villain and have gone from "a few months at best" to "years" which gives me even more time to work for treatment and help and support and all my god. Damn. Friends. This is... Soapbox-y. But thank you, for believing in me. Thank you for sharing that, it's really helped a painful, boring, rainy day where all I've done is lay in bed shooting up morphine (prescription, I'm not too bad!) and trying to lose myself in that fog. So I think I'm gonna get clothes on, and go and do something that makes me happy, and maybe daydream about that day where I'm where you're at, where it may be a part of me, but it doesn't define me. 💜💜💜