Have you had your trust broken in a relationship or friendship? These are some of the things that I have learned in the process of breaking down my walls and choosing to trust again - and trust my husband enough to MARRY him!
As an intuitive person it’s so hard to trust someone because part of me is always suspicious of people’s true intentions. Learning to trust is sooo hard
I kept thinking during this video about the verse “Love is patient”, like that we need to give ourselves time to grow trust, and also give others plenty of time to trust us too
I think people also underestimate that trust and vulnerability takes bravery. We associate bravery often times valiant, outspoken action, when sometimes, being brave is just about being open, vulnerable, and trusting even when the fear in your head is begging you not to. Jesus asks us to be open and vulnerable, and it is a powerful act of bravery, too!
Okay... I'm sort of freaked out. I literally prayed about this this morning and asked God to send me a resource so I can overcome my fear. God is so awesome!!!
I'd love to hear Daniel's experience of gaining your trust while you were dating. His thoughts, feelings, & actions that he had as you were learning to trust and blossom.
emily u have no idea how much ur timing is perfect, i just got catfished a day ago by someone ive been close with for over 8 months now. the plot is still blowing my mind and i cried out to God for help and then i saw this.. 19minutes ago. your words gave m chills😭😭😭
Wow, I really needed this. I had some major friend hurts a few years back and just closed up like a clam. I want to have strong friendships and eventually a husband, but it has been so hard to let people in. A good guy-friend of mine has been pursuing me, and I've really never had that before. He's coming into town today and I'm struggling so much. I have been questioning whether I actually like him or not, but I think I'm actually struggling with the thought of trusting someone in that way. My defense mechanism has been to convince myself that I don't have feelings for him. So this video came at the perfect time. It's given me lots to think and pray about.
Whoa sister I am literally in the exact same situation rn. I have never been in a serious romantic relationship before and I honestly think I am scared to be in one. I too have had some terrible experiences with friendships and feel like "well if so many of my close friendships have gone bad and led to so much hurt, how will having a boyfriend be any better? I'm in the same situation that a guy friend is pursuing me and honestly I've never experienced that either. I don't know how to feel about it and I too think I am pushing down any feelings I might have. And anytime I do start to think I'm feeling anything serious I get really anxious and feel nauseated. Idk what that is all about. But yes this video has given me things to think about and pray about and has encouraged me to work through these problems! Good luck to you sister!
I'm crying...I deeply needed this message, Emily. I was hurt physically and mentally by my father growing up. My father never kept his word and I could never trust him to be there for me. I could never talk to him without fear of him getting angry and blowing up. I grew up afraid of him. When I was 14, I started dating a boy from school. I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We were high school sweethearts and dated throughout all 4 years of high school. I was there at his high school and Marine boot camp graduation. I wanted to marry him. He was the only person I trusted. When he was away, he cheated on me and texted me saying he was never coming back. I never saw him again. I felt so hurt and betrayed. I had been abandoned by all my friends during senior year as well because I went blind and nobody reacted well to the fact that I was now disabled. It hurt so much. I got bullied for being blind, fat (I was on steroids), and bald (chemotherapy) all by the same people whom I called friends. When I turned 20, I moved out of my parents' house because I just wanted to get away from my father and that small town that constantly reminded me of my ex-friends and boyfriend. I felt unlovable. My dad hurt me, my friends hurt me, and the love of my life hurt me. This was 3 years ago. Now I'm alone and I think I love being alone but I'm not sure if I'm telling myself the truth or am I just afraid to trust again. I haven't dated in 3 years even though there have been MANY men interested in me. I've just felt so afraid, I guess. I get so scared to trust again because I'm afraid I'll get cheated on again. I've always been the outgoing, bubbly type and I'm afraid they'll think I'm annoying and not want anything to do with me. Certain girls in high school used to call me a "stage hogger" because I always talked or laughed. That really messed with me so I try to reserve myself because sometimes I believe no one cares about my thoughts or opinions on things. I know it's not true, but I can't help but hear that in the back of my mind. Like, "shut up, don't talk. You're a stage hogger, don't even think about smiling." I don't dare talk about this with anyone though. I sorta bottle it up which I know isn't healthy either but I'm just so scared. I think to myself, "well, if I'm alone...no one can hurt me." That's the I've-Been-Cheated-On side of me talking. I also think, "I'll do everything myself because I can't trust anyone else to do their job." That's the My-Dad-Always-Let-Me-Down-And-Was-Never-There-For-Me side of me talking. I've let fear take over these past few years...but not anymore. I'm going to start taking it day by day. Thank you so much for being the big sister/parental figure I've always wanted, but never had. May God continue to bless you, your family, and your ministry. Much love unto you 💛
I so deeply needed to hear this today--I just started a new relationship and it gave me so much freedom to hear you say that I'm allowed to take it slow and give myself time as I also allow myself to become more trusting as he shows me that he's trustworthy. Thank you for the vulnerability and truth that you continually share. God has consistently been using your videos to bring me more and more freedom.
I feel this, I go into every new dating situation with fear. Someone I thought was the one for me broke up with me after the fourth date, so every time I go on a fourth date with a guy I feel so nervous and scared it’s gonna end! But now I try to remind myself that every man is an individual and they’re not all the same!
Yep. It's the same as what they say about resentment. Harboring resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. While you are stewing and feeling miserable, the other person is likely merrily going about his/her life. So it's great advice that trust is a choice...also great advice to let trust develop over time.
This is what I needed to hear. I knew that when I first saw the notification pop up a few days ago. Life got in the way, but this is truth. A very hard truth! Pray for me that I can get over my past and present trust issues. This is one reason I have never dated.
I love this video I just got out of a relationship with a guy after 8 months of talking who has mental health issues and blamed me for his issues and I feel like I don't want to have another relationship again.
Wow I really needed this right now. I have honestly been considering just taking Paul's advice in 1 Corinthians and staying single for the rest of my life 😂 I mean if that is what God actually wants for me I will gladly follow through; however, I am now going to try to be more open to whatever relationships God wants in my life without fear. I'm currently dealing with a situation where I am being pursued by a guy friend of mine and I believe I have been pushing him away out of fear. Emily, as always, thank you so much for another of your amazing, thoughtful, and very applicable videos! It has given me lots to think over and pray about!!! Also 8:18 😂♥️
I SO needed to this video in this very moment. I just got back home after a second date with a guy. I’m trying so so hard to open my heart again, and I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much Emily!!! God bless.
This is wildly amazing and I've been battling this for years. I have finally realized I'm the one that's held so much back from my own self. Others who have hurt me have moved on and ultimately carrying on these deep scars only affects me! I wrote down everything you said and this is such a good video!!
Thank you! This could not have come at a more perfect time. I have been struggling a lot with this and I put so much pressure on myself, which is unfair.
I needed to hear this so much. Thank you Emily. I am afraid to trust the wonderful godly man God brought into my life. Because of a deep hurt in my past.
I just love all on Emily’s videos. Every video she posts comes at just the right time for me, and they all piece together and help me with every aspect in my life. Love you Emily!!! 😊❤️
My spouse of over 2 decades divorced me after they had an affair. There were many more ways I was betrayed by them recently as well. They were the most godly person for most of the marriage. Not sure I can ever trust again.
Oh no, that must hurt so bad! I'm sorry that this happened to you.. I pray that God shows you how immensely trustworthy HE is and that he won't ever let you down. May he bless you & let you heart heal through his love!
A lot of forgiveness is needed, but we should always remember that everyone makes mistakes, including us. Let’s start the healing by forgiving them: that means not wanting them to pay for what they did for us, but letting go. May the Lord bless our hearts with this beautiful gift of mercy
watching your videos really feel like I'm listening to a bigger sister with so much wisdom and goodness in her heart that wishes only well for me. I really appreciate your videos, Emily! Sending love from Vienna
wow, this is really something I noticed about myself and it has become so ingrained in me since I was young because of the friendships I had as a girl. I have found it so hard to really open up to girl friends and find that intimacy in friendship because it has become second nature to me to just hide parts of myself, my experiences or my opinions just to protect myself. going to pray that God does a work in me in this area.
Man I needed this .. after many of your videos & love and support from my amazing friends I dumped my BF a year ago !! I have expenced this so much!! I've been hurt and betyred and broken!! But how bitter is life without friends?!! I've been very anxious about getting into another relationship in the future and if I'll be able to trust. I love the flower picture..of how trust doesn't fall in your lap it comes day by day. And I dont need to force myself to trust someone all at once. Emily you inspire me & I always share these with my friends thank you girl so much ❤❤❤❤
Wow I am blown away by the timing of this video! I have only just started a new relationship after a long and damaging one and this is something I was really struggling with last couple of days. Thank you so much 💕
Thank you for making this video. I have been steering clear of men for ~8 years. Over this past year, I have been trying to not shut down and throw up those walls and trying to heal but its definitely a long process and this video is a reminder to take those little steps towards trusting.
The last few days I’ve been thinking and working through this, so getting this notification today was incredibly amazing. Thank you so much for following what God asks you to speak about. I needed it. 💕
Wow I felt today so desperate and I have problem with trusting other people. How I will ever manage to opening to a man. And now I saw this video. Thank you.
I lived good with not trusting people too much. Then I trusted someone and got hurt in a way I that I'm still processing. I'm over the fact I got hurt but I'm still struggling with the fact I let this person hurt me. I need time to trust someone in this way again but I'm working on it and one day it'll be fine. God bless everyone of you! Cheers!
I don't trust, and I know that. But I have been betrayed by people that we fought shoulder to shoulder together, we went through hell together, and they still betrayed me. So, I have one person I kind of trust, and that is it. Hell isn't a place for a person, but God has decided that I can walk through it, and get others out, and watch them walk away without a thought about me, and why I was there to begin with.
Good video! By the way... 😂 I've been sitting there listening to your video and scrolling on my phone, complaining in my head that the wifi is too slow when you just talked about it ;D
Being hurt and thus having a difficulty trusting or having a fear of being betrayed or abandoned has made it so I have a really hard time even taking an initial chance on a guy, even starting a relationship. It’s hard y’all.
Trustworthiness must be demonstrated and it is not all or nothing but varies by degree. And tested. Tested not by temptation to sin but by other means. Any lady who marries an untested, uninvestigated man is as foolish as a man who does the same with a lady. Of course they must be basically trustworthy to marry in the first place. But will they endure persecution to the end? No one can know. Trustworthiness is a matter of measure and a kind of calculation; don't trust emotionally as that's the way of hurt. No one can be fully trusted except God, not even you can trust yourself as we all learn. You must keep some of your secrets and past indiscretions to yourself. Freewill makes us unreliable and marital love is about loving them in their weaknesses and failures also. The vow isn't "I vow that you will be trustworthy". You vow to love them without qualification, and even if you were to lose trust in them. Then rather than all or nothing, you trust as much or as little as makes sense AND according to the value at stake (it's like a multiplication), and help your relationships by using secular tools such as contracts, like when lending money, which also buttresses against our own human weakness. For example, even the best of people could fall, and temptations are all the greater for the greater strength of the person, so it does happen. So you never never never have a joint bank account. It's also unloving to insist on it; you protect them against you. You also do a prenup if possible to protect the OTHER person and the kids. And work out home-ownership similarly if not renting (by far the majority should rent, however, but that's another subject). Meanwhile, for sure trust is part of intimacy but it's not like forgiveness, rational trust must come from demonstrations of trustworthiness, so God will arrange circumstances where the untrusted person is rehabilitated in your eyes by you witnessing their reformed behaviour under difficult circumstances. But even so, do not give away your deep secrets even to your spouse. It's not just that it's dangerous if they flip (they have free will), but because it's not necessary. You have your number 1 as God, he is the one for your deepest secrets and stuff that must never be public.
