Female AUTISM Checklist (The Ultimate List YOU NEED!) 

Check list starts at 3:00 (for my fellow ADHD'ers scrolling through the comments to keep concentration)

Has anyone wanted to ever feel...invisible? Like don't look at me or talk to me otherwise I will have to respond. And being the centre of attention seems like a nightmare

Selective mutism is my biggest “symptom”. One on one I’m a chatterbox, but the more people are in a room or a call, I feel INCAPABLE of speaking

As an autistic female I can tell you if I had a choice between staying home and reading a book or going to a party I would rather stay home and read the book but I would feel like I should go to the party in order to keep my friendships so I would go and then I would spend the entire time there hanging out with the pet. I have multiple photos of me from high school at friends house holding their cat or dog while everyone else is mingling around in the background

The "I want to socialize but I can't" moment is a huge call out for me. I really want to talk with people, but when I do get to the communication part I have no idea on what I'm supposed to do. Don't have the diagnosis yet, but I plan on going to psychiatrist if my parents let me to

Wow, that feeling of staying quiet because you feel you have nothing to add to the conversation without knowing how it will be received 🙌🏼

when he was talking about being introverted by nature but also being outgoing, THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL !!!! i finally feel so validated. i do like going out and doing things but it's so hard for me to do it because i get so socially anxious. and i love talking to my friends and hanging out with them but i get so reclusive that sometimes it feels like i have no one. THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS

Had to laugh at the ‘introverted outgoing person’ part. I’m a bartender in New Orleans and one part of me was born to be social and adaptable, but the other part of me hides out like a vampire when I’m not at work. When I’m on, I’m on. Then I’m exhausted from the interactions and I need my ‘alone time’ to recover. It’s difficult because friends and family expect you to always be that social person and feel shut out when you need your alone time. I plant the seeds of amazing relationships, but they often wither away because I have an inability to maintain them. Thankfully, I have a few desert flowers in my life.

I can absolutely relate to “masking to meltdown”, especially since I usually get my first main meal when I come home from work. As a school teacher, I heavily mask all day in order best focus on my students and offer them the best learning environment possible. When I come home, and something unexpected happens, it really is like a switch is flipped in the brain. Often, I can’t even explain to family what is upsetting me, just that everything is too much right now. I am also staring at my extensive book collection in silent judgement lol 😬

I call myself an “extrovert with social anxiety” because I’m scared of social interaction a lot but I N E E D I T

I'm 62 and just got diagnosed this year- it's been a game changer. Colleagues at work now can't just keep complaining about the way I communicate, which they had been doing non-stop, and training is being put in place for me. I'm looking back over my entire life and understanding SO MUCH in retrospect

My 13 year old has just been diagnosed. Never spotted a thing as she is a pro masker. In her assessments it was like she couldn’t hide it anymore and it became so obvious. I left the assessment and on my way out the specialist said I needed to be tested myself, so now I’m in that process at 34 ❤

As for eye contact, I overcompensate and keep eye contact for to long, apparently that makes people uncomfortable to...

I don't have a masking to meltdown necessarily all the time, but masking to exhaustion, like I will have NO energy left at all.

Your clip of trying to be in a conversation but never getting to insert yourself nearly brought tears to my eyes because I finally feel seen.

3:00 eye contact 3:40 difficulty socializing 4:40 introverted personality but outgoing in general 5:51 obsessive collecting 7:19 selective mutism 8:55 masking to meltdown 10:18 shy and quiet

As a female aspie I sincerely appreciate how much time you give to talking about girls. Also I agree with the points you made in this vid.

The extreme shyness/selected mutism thing made me remember a lot from my childhood. One teacher told my parents that they would forget that I existed because I was so quiet. I was pretty "gifted" at a young age, learning to read and write at a higher level than my peers. Numbers were a huge problem for me though, like my brain just doesn't do numbers. I didn't have many friends and kept to my books or video games. I was more of a tomboy and was typipcally drawn to hanging out and playing more with boys, since I found they were easier to get along with than girls, who were impossible for me to 'figure out' at times. Obsessing, collecting, masking, comfort in routines...I should probably get tested lol

I’m not diagnosed with autism yet, but the extraverted desire while being introvert in nature is so accurate to describe me. I like the idea of going out and doing things but I’m very uncomfortable and hate it when I am actually out and doing the things. Staying at home and chilling is when I feel most comfortable because it just feels natural to do so. Also, when I get excited about a topic, I overshare to the point where I may either come off as annoying or passionate/interesting. People have approached me afterwards thinking that I’m an extrovert but lol no I have very introverted habits once you get to really know me.

The more I learn about how autism presents in female people, particularly when it comes to hearing the stories directly from female people with autism, the more I think I probably am on the spectrum. Getting a diagnosis at 27 isn't going to change my life, but it would certainly answer the life long questions I've had about what's "wrong" with me.

When you talked about selective mutisim and masking to meltown I actually started to cry, because it's like all my live in short. And all this time I've been feeling like the complete freak and failure. Thank you so much for this video.

For me: Lack of eye contact ✅ Difficulty socializing ✅ Introverted, but attempt to be outgoing ✅ Obsessive collector ✅ (Mine changes, but generally plants) Selective mutism ✅ Masking to meltdown ✅ (When I used to go to work and school) Shy and quiet ✅ My diagnosis from childhood: OCD/ADD/anxiety/depression 😒

Introverted outgoing person... my boss telling me he just cant grasp me, i struggle with making phone calls at work but can lead a 500+ people event on a stage about something Im passionate about with seemingly little problems

I’m 30 and just had autistic traits pointed out in my by my therapist. Currently undiagnosed, but I scored very high on the Aspie and RAADS-R and CAT-Q was outrageously high. My daughter has had attention and behavioral issues since starting school and the more I learn, the more of it I see in both of us. The masking to meltdown part actually makes me feel better. She routinely falls apart within 10 minutes of picking her up from school every day before we even make it home and I’ve been losing my mind trying to figure out what I’m doing so wrong.

Dan: "Now girls who are on the Autism spectrum get obsessed with collecting certain things..." Me: looks at my Barbie doll collection that literally came out of no where.

I’m trans FtM (assigned female at birth) and was raised as a girl, and we didn’t realise I was autistic (and have ADHD) until I went on testosterone and started to have a more typical “male” presentation! I find it really interesting how presentations change. Thanks for making more inclusive content than a lot of what is out there :)

My face is getting more and more serious and my frown is getting deeper with every point you list of.... no freaking way. Am I really? Wtf... this is... what.. You might have just legitimately changed my life.

I’m a female, and I think I might be on the spectrum but I’m not sure, but I feel like I have a lot of the symptoms

I'm female, diagnosed with autism at 41. Eye contact isn't a problem for me although I can be very socially uncomfortable and awkward. I used to be a mega collector, but am not anymore. I HATE forced socialization like having to turn and introduce myself to and shake the hand of the person next to me or do those infuriating introductions on the first day of a new course in college (so anxiety inducing!). My daughter is 6 and is definitely on the spectrum as well, but she hasn't been formally assessed or diagnosed due to the pandemic.

I'm about to be 29 years old and am undiagnosed because my parents never believed in anything like that so when I asked for help as a teen because I felt different, I got called dramatic, but I literally do everything on this video, and now everything is making so much more sense and I can't believe it took me this long to connect the dots.

I'm a female looking to get diagnosed....it's so hard masking everyday. I think a diagnosis will help others understand why I struggle with things they think I shouldn't.

I think a hugely hard part about being a woman with it is the "girl code." Women will exclude you for reasons they may never speak on. and when it comes to dating/men and how women treat other women who may be into the same guy... sometimes I just like to talk to people and it has nothing to do with attraction. It's so frustrating to be misunderstood

I’ve had many people tell me (usually at work) that they hated me when they first met me, they thought I was stuck up and too good to talk to or look at them. Then they got to know me eventually and we became great friends. I find it incredibly difficult to interact with new people, so I do my best to blend into the background until I’ve had ample time to assess and observe them and the situation, which looks like what they described from their POV. I’m also usually concentrating so hard on just existing in those moments that my mask slips and my “friendly” face goes away, making me look stern, bored, or angry. (I studied psychology in school and they called this a “slow to warm up” personality, but now I’m wondering if that’s maybe not just a sign of autism.)

I'm generally an introvert, but I can be quite outgoing at times and I can get along with people quite well (because of masking), but I've always found it difficult to make real friends and so I ended up in toxic friendships, most of the times. But ever since I received my diagnosis a couple of months ago, I was able to open up and I get along with my friends much better. They are really accepting and supportive, even though they might not always understand what's going on. I think I was scared, that if I showed my true self, they wouldn't love me anymore, and so I was afraid of telling them about my autism. But the truth is that our relationship has improved by a lot and I was even able to make some new friends. I'm at the point where I can say, I'm really proud of being autistic.

I go mute when I’m frustrated. I use hand gestures when I’m looking for something. Like I touched my ears when I’m looking for my headphones.

Wanting to socialize but can't! Yes! This has been one of the hardest for me as an autistic female. I used to collect things as a child (beanie babies!!!!) but we moved around a lot and I was in and out of foster care. Now I find I collect digital things, not physical. I have SO many digital copies of knitting patterns that I will probably never actually knit but I just love having them and reading them. I love looking at the patterns and dissecting how the patterns were constructed. My personal email is basically just a place for me to collect information about my special interests. I just email myself everything and that's how I collect it. I've also realized my meltdowns now are implosions instead of explosions because I was punished so much for them as a kid. I feel like I need to get out of my skin and like I literally might explode. I want to scream and yell and throw things, but on the outside I'm just starring at the wall. Sometimes I shake and I usually get a migraine from just holding it all in.

I think a good thing to add would be compensation for eye contact. Yes, a lot of people have a hard time maintaining eye contact. Another part of it is the over-compensation resulting in the "delve into your soul" stare where you can forget to look away. This usually happens with people I'm very close to. In my experience, I usually switch between the two depending on the level of eye contact the other person maintains. Low eye contact from the other people, deathly demonic stare. High eye contact from the other person, trouble maintaining eye contact.

As an ASD female (self DIAGNOSED) I’ve found I was able to connect with males easier than females. This caused me confusion as I got older because at that point guys only wanted to hang out with me because they were attracted to me... so I then started questioning the relationships that come into my life as well as myself. Knowing I have ASD has helped me understand this part of myself.

I am self diagnosed. I am 100% convinced and my mental health changed for the better when I realized!!!!

My husband was laughing cause I do all 7 of these. I haven't went in to get diagnosed yet but your videos helped me realize that I'm different but that is ok and your videos have helped me learn to deal with things so thank you a million times over.

You’ve described me 100%. I’m 43 undiagnosed mom of an aspie son. I don’t know who to go to to get diagnosed. I think my family doctor already thinks I’m crazy 😜 I always thought I was a severe introvert who taught herself to socialize decently. Then I come home, shut the blinds, lock the doors and crawl under the covers till morning.

60 year old recently diagnosed. Life finally makes total sense.

I'm literally in tears. I feel seen and understood for the first time ever. This video is so insightful! Thank you so much for sharing

i´m 17 years old, my sister got her diagnosis at a very young age and ´my brother at the age of 14. My parents have always told me that "You can´t have autism because you have friends and good grades etc". Literally every single thing on this list fits me. Finally my mum have opened her eyes and seen all of the traits, therefore I´m finally looking to get a diagnosis. I remember when I was about 11 years old, every day I would try to be this perfect student, play with my classmate. And then I got home and got this huge meltdown, only thing that could stop it was if I were to sleep for an hour or two or if I ate something. I literally had no energy left after school, I was so exhausted. Now I live beside my current school so I literally go home and sleep every day when I have lunch. This is the first time I reccon I don´t have any friends too, it´s a weird feeling. I try to talk to people but they just stare at me. What do I do wrong? Everyone are like "It´s your own fault, you´re not trying hard enough", but I really am tho. It´s like whatever I say or do people think it´s weird or whatever, literally I don´t know what to do haha

This was genuinely so useful. I’ve been struggling with this for so long. I wasn’t concerned with getting diagnosed or mentioning it before because I was kind of afraid lol but it’s to the point where now that I’m older it’s impacting my life way too much and getting a diagnosis would make things so much easier for me. Things are more clear to me now, so thank you!!!🌟

I was nodding along to every point you mentioned, thinking they applied to me. By the time you got to "introverted but outgoing" I started crying because that's basically how my friends describe me. I was hesitant about seeing an autism specialist, but after this video, I'm printing off your list and making an appointment. Thank you so much!

I had suspected I was ADHD for a couple of years and finally went to a doctor and was diagnosed. It’s been great since getting a diagnosis, but the more I listen to autism videos like this, the more likely it is I am going to talk to my doctor about the possibility of being autistic. These things like selective mutism are issues I have struggled with my entire life that I thought I had to unlearn out of myself. It has been a cause for depression in my life as I thought such a basic part of me was broken. Thank you for these videos, including the ones where you have interviewed your female friends. It’s helped a lot.

Masking to Meltdown: In my early teen years, when I would come home from school, my Dad would saddle our horse, and I would go for a solo ride. Some days he would take a look at my face, and without us exchanging a single word, he'd saddle April up, and I didn't speak to anyone for an hour or two. I always felt so much more centered, at peace, upbeat, and just generally more myself by the time I chose to come home. I don't know if I could ever explain what his unconditional love and support gave me. When he came into our lives he brought a level of long term stability that I had never known.

My college counselor suggested I get tested for ASD so here I am. I went in for ADHD but came out with a little extra spice to look for. All of these applied to me.

I went under the radar for most of my life, I was diagnosed at 33! I think that probably as many females with autism exist but are just undiagnosed. I feel better listening to your videos, I feel less alone and hate myself less. The symptoms are so alienating!

Because introverts used to be stereotypically thought of as shy, awkward shut-ins, I felt that I couldn't identify as one, because although social situations drain me and I need alone recharge time, I have always been outgoing, friendly and eager to participate in stuff. Same with autism and ADHD - when I was a kid, the general (lack of) understanding regarding both were so different from now that it hadn't ever crossed my (or anyone's) mind that I might be neurodivergent (I didn't even know that term back then). I was "just" a smart, odd girl that had trouble fitting in. I'm a 38 year old woman, still "nowhere" in life compared to my peers (no career, no partner, no real estate, no realised dreams - am only now finally getting a cat, though). And I can't help but feel that my life could have been different had I only known how I function and how to manage myself. I feel like a fridge that has tried to be a toaster all its life, and I'm only now discovering that ooops, I'm actually a fridge and not a failed toaster, and there are fridge manuals out there as well as people who understand how fridges work. It's great, but on some level, it also sucks. So thank you for spreading awareness regarding autism, and specifically autism in females. If nothing else, you're helping lost people like me finally understand who they are.

A description of my eye contact: They aren’t looking at me, stare at them. Uh-oh, their head is tilted slightly in my direction! Look anywhere but their face!! Nooo... they began looking at me while I was looking at them, don’t break eye contact: initiate stare, don’t close eyes EVER. My socializing skills: from age 7 to 10 I jump-roped by myself everyday at recess. People have literally left the table (with full lunch trays) as soon as I sat down. I have quite a bit of “friends” but don’t really connect with anyone and have been teased quite a bit. Collector: I don’t think I’ve got a problem with this one... (Just kidding!) I’ve got 400 rubber ducks, 100s of silk flowers, and 178 books! I used to collect candy wrappers, but moved and lost my collection. Selective mutism: I’m unsure on if I actually have this, but I’ve been told I’m the quietest, shyest person they’ve met. There have been 2 places where I’ve felt very comfortable: Colour guard (flag spinning) and music class. Those teachers have said I’m a completely different person than I was at the beginning of the year: Witty, sassy, outgoing, and creative! When I’m overwhelmed, I will NOT talk (or move) for hours. I constantly have comments in my head I’d like to say, but it feels like I physically can’t. Masking to meltdown: I’ve had many days where I literally cry myself to sleep as soon as I get home. Almost daily, I would have 30-minutes (usually more) stimming sessions by myself, because I won’t do most stims in public. Haha, thanks if you read all that. It’s just my reaction to what Dan said

I’ll preface this by stating that I am not formally diagnosed, but I am becoming more and more convinced that I am on the spectrum. When it comes to eye contact, I don’t have any issue making eye contact with people when I’m listening to them. But when I’m talking to them, I’m hyper aware of how long I’m maintaining eye contact and I’m constantly wondering if I’m making too much or too little eye contact. Thoughts?

I was diagnosed because of you. I started looking on youtube for videos because I suspected my dad was autistic. He was actually on the verge of officially being diagnosed at the age of 66 when he suddenly passed away, but watching your videos not only diagnosed him, they made me think I might be, too. I was officially diagnosed at 38 years old. Everything finally makes sense, I no longer hate myself or misunderstand what is wrong with me, I finally have access to treatment and advocacy that is actually helping me do better in life. Thank you.

Okay.. so… I know it’s super unprofessional- but working at a tattoo shop, a lot of strange comments come up… One artist came up to me and told me that she thought i have some “pretty obvious” signs that i might fall under the spectrum of autism…… She said a few things that I understood completely while other people around us just looked at us like we were weird so I decided to just go on a binge research montage what autism really is and the symptoms… And i came across this video……… i LITERALLY… have all of the things you brought up…. My whole life i felt out of place and like no one understands me or why i am the way that i am… and now that im seeing so many people on RU-vid speaking of autism, im slowly starting to feel like i might actually belong somewhere. Is that weird to say? It just felt weird for someone to understand how i think about things rather than always having to worry about being the different/strange one in the group.

Masking to meltdown, YES. I work in a very social setting and serve a ton of people in an weekend, Sunday evening comes and I'm totally spent. It's like there is nothing left inside of me and it can take days to recover if I've been super busy all weekend. When you described the chocolate sauce episode I totally related! This list helped me to feel better about myself, my husband often doesn't get me and just wants to go go go. Thanks for your channel!

This is spot on!! I’m one of those ladies I’m extremely introverted but enjoy socialising. I was diagnosed yesterday, but we kinda knew for a while. Last year my mum booked a hall in advance for my 40, bless her she had to cancel it when I found out….there’s no way I could have a gathering just for me!! Aggghh so Saturday night I had my party at her house with a few guests and although I felt bad for my mum not getting to celebrate with EVERYONE it was really more enjoy for me to just have a few guests. Im so grateful she understands and still gave me a party!!

I'm 35; a mum to a 15.5 yr old boy... quite recently I've realized I could be on the spectrum. When I brought this up to my therapist, and revealed all of the struggles I've dealt with my entire life, she even said, "You fooled me!" but agreed to refer me to a specialist. My appointment is next year, in May.... Every single thing you mentioned on this 'checklist' hit HOME on a level I didn't even realize!!!! I will be taking notes and writing all of these down with examples to bring to my diagnostic appointment (hooray USA Healthcare........ ugh.)! Thank you for making this video! I also brought up the ASD possibility to my mother and the more she looks into it, the more she agrees that this is very much the reason I've had such a difficult time in my life!

Is so me. I have been shamed my entire life for being an introvert and stay at home person. Thank you for showing me that I can give myself permission to be myself.

Age 51 I realized I am autistic. Just survived my first diagnostic today, and feeling drained. I appreciate you and your channel Dan!

I’ve struggled socially my entire life. I have a really hard time understanding others and understanding basic boundaries. I talk a lot with my hands too which I often get embarrassed about when I realize I’m doing it… I have a hard time looking at people I’m talking too and the more serious the subject the harder it is. I often panic and can hardly remember the conversation and I have no idea what expressions they might have had during the conversation… makes it harder to figure out where I went wrong and how they might have been feeling. I’m fairly open and friendly with people when I’m out or at work but I get exhausted and stressed easily. I became a book worm at a very young age and I still often hide in books. I have spent a lot of time by myself because I just don’t… understand people. I have a huge almost unstoppable urge to get pets but I manage to keep myself from it by reminding myself about my current circumstances and how it wouldn’t work out. I used to have two bearded dragons, a leopard gecko, and a mouse. I would feel so happy and just obsess over these pets. I only have a fish and a cat now but I have to constantly keep after myself about not getting pets. I obviously can’t collect pets… that would probably be bad. I often come home and just shut down. I go and hide away in books, movies, my writing, and anything else I can think of to avoid my feelings and stress from the day spent trying my hardest to interact with others. When I have days where I tried my hardest and it wasn’t enough I break down and cry and fall apart because I’m exhausted and I gave it my all and it still went so badly… it’s just not fair.

Me diagnosed at 14 and vibing. Also me: let's watch the video, just in case 👀

I'm 44 and just got my official diagnosis this past Monday.

I'm a parent of a 7 year old little girl who has just been given the diagnosis of having autism and they explained to me how close she was to being missed because of her masking, especially in school. It was through watching your videos, starting a couple of years ago that helped me help her and when you responded to a previous question i asked, it was that that made me push the school into helping me with her. So thank you and thank you for your videos, they have helped and i am sure will be a big help in the future as she grows up.

I have landed back into my home planet, Planet Autism Edit: I wanna include the entire spectrum

i've been doing so much research about autism and trying to asses myself in the past 1-2 years ever since i started suspecting i might have it, and my god this is the first time i've come across something that describes me so perfectly 😭😭 i couldnt even have gotten help from family because they dont take my mental health seriously, so thank you SO much for this video, i feel so seen and understood

Wait... people are actually supposed to maintain eye contact? Shit, I’ve been forcing myself to have at least 2... 1 second of eye contact before turning away again, I didn’t realize it should be longer. I’m not as good at faking as I thought.

I understand so much of this and feel validated on some signs I didn’t know were autism related. My parents curbed the lack of eye contact early on, but the rest is spot on. At parent teacher conferences, everyone would be like “I wish I had a classroom full of you”, but my mom and I would joke to each other “yeah but not a living room”. The masking to meltdowns were a lot to handle. I didn’t realize the contradictions in my personality were autistic- I’ve always thought I was fighting myself, not just being myself. This will help me give myself grace.

I was definitely selectively mute in high school and throughout college, in social situations. It felt like a combination of shyness and not knowing what to say/not being able to come up with something to say. It’s almost like my thought bank is empty and when I try to retrieve something from it, something as small as banter, I can’t. I also could be feeling just okay, even having a great time and hours go by and I haven’t said anything, like a family reunion or a party. Anyone else get this way?

As an autistic female, I experienced every one of these attributes (especially in grade school). Teachers would contact my family with concerns, but I was then chalked off as being painfully shy. After a series of MIS-diagnoses, I was finally diagnosed with ASD at age 46. My son is also on the spectrum, and I suspect that my 72 year-old mum is also autistic.

I'm 27, female, and still on the waiting list to get my diagnosis. I recognized myself in a lot of the behaviors metioned in this video. I always thought that I didn't have a problem with eye contact but I learned that I'm very good at masking this. I will make eye contact, look away, look back and so on. I frequently turn the situation to my hand so I don't need to or I'm not able to keep eye contact the whole time. Like doing a task in the meantime or taking a walk with the person who I'm talking with. The masking to meltdown is very recongnizable. But since my parents didn't allow 'temper tantrums' (which were actually meltdowns to me) I needed to mask at home too so when I was alone in my room I sometimes felt like I was exploding. I still am not able to show my parents how I'm really doing. It's like there's an automatic switch that turns on when I'm around people and it turns of when i'm alone.

This has been a long time since you made this, but I'm a 37 year old female looking to get diagnosed. Currently on that road. New therapist that's helping me is basically like "look, I don't have the power to diagnose, but we need to get you assessed soon for both ADHD and Autism, and I'm personally 99% sure you have ASD." I'm 100%. It's changed my life in weeks to stop masking intentionally, and I cannot believe how freeing it's been and how much more I'm able to do if I let myself unmask. It was destroying my energy and ability to function to corset myself so tightly for fear of judgement.

I'm a woman trying to figure out where I stand with this, cause I actually relate to A LOT of the most common experiences and some sympthoms, but I'm still not sure if my experiences are strong or intense enough to qualify as autism (got over some of these, but this is 100% how you'd describe me in middle school and high school)

My mother is 94 and is still undiagnosed. However, she told me that while she was recovering from hip surgery in a rehab center, they ran some "psychological tests" on her because they thought something was "wrong with my mind." I don't know what those tests results were but I can tell she's an Aspie. It was so hard growing up with her for a mother. No one suspected anything because she's social and had a good job; she taught first grade. She likes to go out with her friends and talk to them on the phone. Speaking of talking on the phone, she was obsessed with talking on the phone, but only with her chosen friends and relatives. She did not like meeting new people, and she outright refused to speak to my friends' parents. That is only one example of how she made my life hell when I was a teenager. My mom hit all the bullet marks on this video. I would add one more thing to your list; she had a hard time expressing empathy for others, which is a terrible thing for a child to realize about your parent. She was a great mother when I was a young child, and terrible for me when I was a teen. Tests show that I am neurotypical.

I found veganism in 2013, i was obsessed ♥️. Still vegan, but now i have new obsessions. Collecting stuffed animals and rescuing cats has become a way of life and i never suspected those activities could be my way of coping with life. Thank for this video!

I'm a female, and to be honest, I always felt "different" than other people. They also treated me like I was different. But of course, my family never saw that. When I was in my teen years, I got driven into an alternative lifestyle so I thought to myself, "oh, THIS is why I was different, I just needed like-minded individuals. Boy, was I wrong. Fast forward to now, I'm 25 and I started researching a bunch of things just so I can understand the way I function - and I think I might have autism or Aspergers (+ other things). It was all there all along, but not anyone could see it in me. I could still be wrong, of course, that's why I want to get an official diagnosis. The sad part is, I can't find anything in my country. I live in Europe, but for some reason, autism can only be diagnosed in children here. I can't find anything, anywhere on the internet, any doctors for us adults in our healthcare system. And I'm losing hope. (I sought a diagnosis for other mental health issues in the past but it was never taken seriously by doctors, and I got the wrong diagnosis.)

Hi Dan, l am 62 mum grandma great grandma l recently watched Christine McGuinness AUTISM. I had an awakening l did some on line tests. Then seen a psychologist for an assessment and scored extremely high on Autism as well as scoring for ADHD. I am being referred to autism triage for diagnosis and then ADHD It explains so much about my life and l can’t believe l finally have answers at 62. Thank you for sharing Deb

I diagnosed myself after reading a book where the main character was on the spectrum and I realized that I had highlighted every quote where she talked about her traits as an autistic woman. Afterward, I started to research autism in girls and decided to make a list of traits that I related to after finishing every article or video. I wrote pages of traits and how I felt particularly in each one of them: - auditory sensory overload (several people talking at the same time; I am very sensitive to repetitive noises, televisions that I am not watching, small noises that sometimes only I can hear, and people talking loudly) - I don't like to be put in new situations (especially if I don't have a warning) - routine (getting out of the routine even if it's for something I like to do makes me very anxious) - difficulty understanding others' emotions and my own (generally considered cold/calculating/rational and very emotional people make me uncomfortable to the point that I want to run away) - clothes with too many pieces/too complicated to wear make me uncomfortable - after a social event and/or going through auditory sensory overload I just want to be locked in my room alone reading and without any noise as if I have a burnout (sometimes I feel distant from reality when I have to do something if I'm in this burnout state) - I have had a problem with expanding my food range since childhood - difficulty with banal conversations (small talk makes me feel like I'm dying inside) - I don't know how to act in certain social situations (I feel like I don't know the rules) and I usually try to act like the people around me and create scenarios in my head to develop a script on how to respond, in addition to using more common facial expressions, always smiling so people don't misinterpret what I'm doing or use a neutral expression - "copy" the way people act in certain situations (good morning/afternoon/evening if people do that in the environment, etc) (going to a restaurant that I have never been alone, arriving alone in a place to meet people, doing anything new without having someone with me to "guide how I should act") - I usually say that I have two personalities because the person I am in each situation is not the same person I am when I'm at home and/or alone - I take things literally (someone says "We could go out for lunch tomorrow" - I won't forget you said that and I'll be anxious thinking if you really want to go to lunch or if it was just a form of expression and I'm embarrassed to ask and force a situation; "let's go out today; we could go out on the weekend; we could see this movie" make me feel the same way) - it makes me very uncomfortable to look people in the eye, but sometimes I force myself to look while the person talks and the feeling I have is like I'm holding my breath and I end up spacing out of the conversation, sometimes I'm moving my body/play with my hair and pretend to use my cell phone or that I'm observing the environment to justify why I'm not making eye contact - touches initiated by other people make me uncomfortable (but sometimes I feel like touching the person out of nowhere - hugging, touching the arm, the hair - of someone I like, but it passes soon after I do and I feel like a crazy person because that urge appears out of nowhere) - I'm very detail oriented (about everything, I can see details that a lot of people don't notice around me) - very observant about everything around me: I can notice even when someone changes something minor in their appearance - I have a controlling and perfectionist personality (my daily routine works like clockwork and any change makes me very anxious - I avoid doing certain things until the last minute because I need to prepare for that moment, for example: talking about a case with my boss, I spend more than a day pondering how to approach the subject with her) - I have a hard time reading people's needs (my mom keeps saying I don't care about anything but myself because I don't ask how she is, I don't do the things that need to be done - like see if there's water for the dog, sit down to talk, etc, but if you ask me to do these things I will every single time, I just don't remember that I have to do it daily especially if you don't tell me that is expected of me to do it every day) - I always try to say things directly and bluntly, being frank about the subject, but people keep saying I'm rude, and I never meant to be rude, for me, I just told the truth. People also think I'm being rude funny or joking when I made an obvious remark (to myself a least) - I don't forget anything (especially very important things, social interactions, moments, stories, details, dates, conversations, dialogs, quotes, songs, etc) - I always follow rules/laws, and that's why I love my law degree - many say that I can't be a very black-and-white person, that there's something in between, but I can't "not follow" rules, instructions, and laws, it makes me very anxious when someone I'm with doesn't follow and wants me not to follow either (cutting the line, not following traffic rules, etc.) - I can get lost very easily inside my head and thoughts - zone out a lot - constantly creating and looking for patterns (how things are organized, how people in my everyday life activities, how traffic signs work in my daily way to work, I always create a specific way of working when I start a new job following the same order and logic, I always study in the same way using the same techniques, I wear certain pieces of clothing in specific situations) - I tend to ask a lot of questions to understand the whole scenario but people think I love to fight and argue - overthinking - I think too much about certain things and I can't stop until something changes my focus - before bed I create scenarios in my head or think about the next day or certain situations that happened/may happen until I black out - I hate talking on the phone (I plan what to say before the call and sometimes I don't order food/medicine etc so I don't have to make the call) - when I do something I like, I can do it for hours without any problems and I feel as if everything around me disappears to the point that I don't even hear people calling me (I can spend the whole day immersed in a book, watching a series, listening to music) - I hate changes (in everything - they make me extremely anxious and not know how to deal with the situation) - I have space problems, I keep hitting things and taking falls (I have had at least one fall everywhere I go) - poor motor coordination

Wow.. this really hits home. ASD and I also have ADHD. I can be out going and confident at work. I am the woman in charge. But I'm really quite shy in anything else in life. Sadly I mask so well a lot of people do not believe my diagnosis. I wasn't allowed to show it growing up. But the dread, the effort, the utter exhaustion. I feel that...

You are basically describing my childhood!!! I had a late diagnosis and growing up without knowing the condition was a challenge for me and my family. Now I´m a Gestalt Psychoterapist who helps people find tools to get to know their own Autism and find ways to live a happy life in their own way ☺💜

i feel like i might be autistic but i’ve been so invalidated my entire life that i second guess myself and don’t know how to tell what’s real anymore, even some of the things on this list. is it possible to mask so much that you suppress your entire identity? has anyone else felt this, diagnosed or not?

My daughter is 4yrs old and u described her perfectly like she wants to go out and play with other kids but then she gets out there and just watches them play and the masking to meltdown as soon as she gets in the car from school she goes crazy never understood that until now thank you

I'm planning to get tested but this is ticking off SO many issues I've dealt with all my life. Especially the masking to meltdown. All my life I've read fiction obsessively (honestly fiction and fictional characters can be argued as my obsession and collection) and got in the habit of picking a character I liked or wanted to be like and just secretly pretending to be that character to help me get through school and social situations. Then when my older siblings were babysitting me after school I'd completely meltdown in a full on tantrum. In my teen years I began the habit of crafting playlists of songs that helped me get into character. I also bought SO many etiquette books as a kid/teen to try and figure out how I was supposed to act so people would like me. Going to a party sounds like hell just give me my quiet night alone with a good story.

This is so on target. Thank you for sharing this. I just talked with my Dr and she actually said this makes so much more sense instead of all the other diagnosis they've tried to give me. We're pursuing this as an answer to why things are or aren't working on helping me with the struggles of my life and behaviors due to being so overwhelmed or exhausted from camouflaging or like you said masking myself. I am extremely introverted yet I also go out and try many times to visit people's yet I end up getting very isolated due to the communication struggles or overwhelmed by the overstimulating environments. I truly identify with all you said in this. Wow. I feel quite a bit more at ease understanding myself better and why others don't seem to understand me. Again thank you.

Thanks for this list! It helped me confirm I was not autistic and only have ADHD :) I got diagnosis with adhd first, but the second opinion and screening gave me the autism result. However, at the time I had a lot of other mental disorders so I believe my ADHD was masked by my obsessive compulsive tendencies. Instead, the counselor must have picked up on my obsessive tendencies and taken them as a sign of my need for adherence to routines and evidence of other autistic traits, however now that I'm done with therapy I realize that I'm much more flexible, spontaneous and hyperactive instead of exhibiting autistic traits, which I had also considered I had before. It was really confusing having had two different opinions and not knowing which of these I really had, but now after therapy and more research, now that I know that I have ADHD I can deal with my daily life in ways that are best suited for this particular neurodiverse makeup. I was perfectly fine diagnosed as being autistic, however I felt that something didn't click and videos like yours helped me confirm the information that I already possessed

My five year old daughter was diagnosed about a year ago,but we’ve been aware that could be the issue since she was two. We would have tested sooner, but the pandemic prevented it. She is hitting everything you’re listing. She has a best friend she talks about often who has an older sister who also has autism and ADD. This little girl is so accepting of my daughter, and it makes my heart so happy. Her generation is growing up far more empathetic to people being different, but my daughter still struggles to develop friendships. The fact that she has even one friend has me over the moon, and I hope it’s not the last one she has.

I thought my daughter's neurodiversity was only adhd, seen as early as preschool, but the aspie wasn't really discussed or detected until age 17. I thought her weird social interactions were for shock factor or to gain attention, but I was wrong. She just didn't know how to contribute to the conversations in a typical and conventional way. I was always afraid of what she might say to offend someone. She does also avoid some eye contact and does not enjoy physical affection such as hugging or patting. It is so clear, and yet no therapist caught it, maybe because she was masking. Parents, you know your kids best. Go with your instinct and keep asking questions of your medical providers!

Except for selective mutism, every one of these describes me. I am from a place where being neurodivergent is heavily stigmatized and there’s a lot of ignorance surrounding the autism spectrum, so until these videos started popping up on my recommended, I had absolutely no idea why I was such a social screwup for my whole life. The fact that I could very well be on the spectrum and get diagnosed as such makes me want to cry tears of happiness because it lets me know that there’s a whole community of other people who probably felt exactly like I did growing up.

I'm an extrovert trapped in an introverted body. I have selective mutism and I studder badly when frusterated trying to get a point across, or even talk in a non familiar environment

I never knew why my mutism only came sometimes and it gave me the WORST feeling of being an imposter. I feel alot better knowing there's a term and that it's super common. Thank you for this video!!!!!

Thanks for making these videos. They really mean a lot. Many times in my life I questioned myself because it was so difficult for me to do simple things. I thought that when I grew up I would stop being like that, but now that I go to university it has been very difficult to make friends or even start conversations with my classmates. These videos make me feel like I'm not alone. Thank you so much.

Since middle school, I've always had this feeling that something was off about me. I had a highschool teacher that didn't like me very much and called me autistic in front of the whole class which kinda sucked, but that's when things started to make sense. Many of the behaviors you've described on this list describes me perfectly, especially the façade part. I always hoped that all of these things were just a phase( or at least that's what my mom wanted and she still doesn't want me to see a therapist) but now I'm a junior in college and nothing has changed.

Female and finally going to my doctor in three days to get a referral for an assessment. I've NEVER felt like I fit in anywhere or with anyone. I have suffered from depression all my life and I'm so exhausted trying to do "what's right" or "fit in". I found your videos and have been devouring them! This video really spoke to me. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication. I thought I was alone and no one would ever understand me. I thought I was too old for a diagnosis. I took a chance at a therapist's office this week and brought up that I thought I was on the autism spectrum. I have a hard time talking with people, socializing, and understanding emotions or how to name them. I also do all of what you brought up in this video. She snapped at me and said, "Nobody has it figured out". I was crushed! I shut down emotionally, verbally, and physically! To me, this said that there was NO hope for me if "no one" has it figured out. I spiraled into a deep depression. Your videos help me make the choice to ask for the assessment now with my General Practitioner, or at the very least a transfer to a therapist that specializes in Autism. I've been making a list because I get into a doctor's office and can't talk or explain how I'm feeling or what's going on. You've given me hope! Thank you so much!

My daughter was not diagnosed until she was 35. We had different diagnosis throughout her life that did not seem to fit. It is refreshing to see that there is finally some help out there as there was not much when she was growing up.

Been on a adult autism diagnostic assessment waiting list for 19 months know 🤞🏻✌🏻

I also am an outgoing introvert. I just don't struggle majorly with social interactiob; but I do feel noticeably drained after things like that. I mainly want to go to my room and practice one of my obsessive interests as you say. But it's not bad.

so, here's mine eye contact- troubled throughout teenage and childhood, slowly trying to calm it :) difficulty socializing- still there but more accepted :) introverted outgoing- yep that's me obsessive collecting- like kind of..... but under control selective mutism- was always there... I don't really know tho... this battle is endless masking to meltdown- it's like trying every single minute to be different and in the end... totally drained out of hope and forever exhaustion shy and quiet- in general, constantly clashing with my hidden outgoing nature I wanna add stimming- had this habit of moving my toes whenever excited (mom told me to stop doing it), there are some others too.. probably changing all the time.. but the urge is there social anxiety keeps on hanging curtains on my talent though I've tried making peace with most of the habits, it's still an everyday struggle.. Thank you for this video, it resonated well.

“Obsessive collector” And you show TAMAGOTCHIS I feel PERSONALLY ATTACKED by this as I have a large tamagotchi collection and have been toying with the ideas of possibly having ADHD, Autism, or Aspergers. I don’t have an official diagnosis, but I have a *suspicious* number of symptoms...

I love your videos buddy! Thank you for being so informative. I'm on the spectrum and so is my son. I find all of your videos inspiring and fun. Thank you again. ☺️☺️☺️ You mentioned collections.... I collect rocks and pipes. I love each and every one of them.

I have every single symptom and as I became an adult I have learned to hide all the symptoms til I get home. I’ve never been diagnosed but I’m just started the process at the doctors for counseling/therapy and to be evaluated. I’m in my 30s and waking up realizing the problem I have been dealing with my entire life. Thanks for the video!