I love her relationship with Claire soooo much. It's such a complex and weird relationship (like sisterhood usually is) yet it's unmistakable they love each other. They are obviously dysfunctional, but instead of showing it with big loud fights, it's just two sisters trying to navigate the fact that they are two completely different people in a messed up family. Idk how but it feels realistic and relatable even in situations that are entirely unique. Phenomenal writing
I was hoping they’d mention it too- there’s so much bagage between them that they can’t even hug each other, that Claire says Fleabag isn’t her friend and knowing the truth prefers to live a lie. And yet they also sleep in the same bed at the retreat, they are there for one another at emergencies big and small (Claire- IT’S FRENCH) and end up standing up for one another when it really counts (the miscarriage, the airport…). As a man with a not so younger brother I see many similar dynamics and yet a lot that are just completely specific to gender (and maybe Britishness).
I really love that girls are finally able to be depicted as being genuine friends, without being passive aggressive or trying to constantly undermine each other. Max and Eleven's gradual friendship was great to see unfold especially given their vastly different backgrounds and upbringings.
I like your premise here, but some of your examples are taken out of context to support your argument, and if looked at in context are actually the opposite of what you’re using it to support. For example, your brief clips of Encanto and Buffy the Vampire Slayer are placed behind the statement of “relatives in conflict”, but the scene from Encanto actually culminates in the two sisters embracing each other and healing the conflict! The Buffy scene is from the incredible episode “The Body”, and shows Buffy going to get Dawn from school and telling her that someone has died. Dawn is lashing out in grief, not because of a real conflict between herself and Buffy. Finally, using Thelma and Louise as an example of women breaking free from roles dependent on men ignores the fact that they have no real way out except a melodramatic double suicide. How is that liberating?! I’m disappointed. Y’all can do better.
My millennial heart was rooting for them the whole time! I loved how they depicted Max and Eleven. We really got some terrible messaging in the 90s when it came to female friends 😢 but I’m glad it’s changing and there are healthier relationships depicted.
Female friendship will never work without honesty. If you are always treading on eggshells around each other it's not a friendship. If you are always mimicking each other it's not friendship. It's a charade. You should never have to pretend to like the same food, the same music & the same TV programmes to fit in.
I’ve had my own issues with female friendship and after having awful female friends in middle school I strictly only befriended guys in high school. Now I’m 20 and finally able to have healthy lovely female friendships, I realized it wasn’t women as a whole but just those girls in particular
There’s also the addition of when you’re a young girl, you’re often socialized or fed media that encourages the kind of toxicity among girls, and because kids are young and immature, they fall for it. I think at some point, a lot of young girls do get a chance to grow up and experience other things in life that helps them understand and realize how certain behaviors from our younger girls were wrong.
I find that female friendship has regressed in the past twenty years to very childish levels. I found myself expected to be their wing man for when they went man hunting which I wasn't prepared to do. They invited me to go clubbing with them after we first met. That very evening (as opposed to next Friday or Saturday night) when I either had to get up in the morning to go to work/college/job interview. I'm not fifteen anymore. I know that if or when they find a boyfriend I would get dumped by them only for them to reappear when heartbroken expecting sympathy from me. Except they wouldn't get any from me. I liked it in Shirley Valentine when her daughter turns up after falling out with her flatmate, goes to bed & expects Shirley to wait on her. Then Shirley explains how she had been shut out of her life as friends & boyfriends were more important to her daughter than family. Then she announces that she is about to go on holiday to Greece with her feminist friend & needs her daughter to be at home to look after the daughter's father. The daughter then storms out & goes back to her flatmate. Or they would drag me around clothes shops when we had arranged to do something else. I'm not their personal stylist so I walked away.
@@jostockton. Not Lol so grow up. It wasn't thaat one group of girls/women but several and other groups I haven't been a part of but have observed. So a lot more common than you think but then you wouldn't know would you.
one of the most underrated shows ever in general I have been weeping for days after the finale truly a moving, compassionate and authentic portrayal of deep, intimate, close female friendship
That's why Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants remain one of my most favourite childhood movies. It showed me how wonderfully a girls' friendship can be portrayed instead of rivalries and throwing shades.
The books are great, and it's a shame Gen Z seem to not even know they exist. And of course, the movie is dismissed and mocked as a TyPiCaL cHiCk fLiCk 🙄
Wendell and Wild is a great example of this too with The Poodles. They're the three richest girls at the school, and they're nothing but nice. Their only problem is that they treat everyone how THEY want to be treated, which can get grating even when you know it comes from a place of kindness. Which is both funny, and sad since it cost them their friendship with Raul.
I just watched Wendell & Wild last night and was disappointed that even after we see Siobhan emerge as a heroine, we still don't see her and the other Poodles reach out to try mending fences with Raul. It's a delightful film, but I felt there were too many strings left dangling.
How did Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants get overlooked for this video (if there was a visual bit, I'm blind, so literally missed it)? The books have more friendship moments than the films, but absolutely a rare 2000's young female friend group example.
I’m so sorry to ask this as I know it might be considered annoying😭but how do you type if you’re blind? yes, I’m uneducated, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, obviously (:
Yeah, it would have been interesting for the video to include a mention of past movies that have been an exception to the common rivalry-based portrayal of friendship, with Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants being a notable example.
Good point "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" was an amazing "Aquamarine" "sleepover" "wild child" was also a great friendship film made in the 2000's
@Leah Gee No worries, I'm used to answering blindness questions; ask away! I'm currently typing on what's essentially a braille tablet, which let's me write in braille's six-key entry so it's a lot faster than using a normal keyboard. But with voiceovers on my phone and laptop I can type that way too, or dictate to my phone.
Another one is Now and Then (what I call the girls version of Stand By Me) in the mid-1990s. That movie depicted four 12-year-old girls who support each other through life struggles and then reunite 26 years later when one of them has her first baby.
In Mainstream Hindi Cinema, there were so many movies that delighted in pitting female leads against each other while fighting for a mediocre boy. They deserved so much better.
True. Its always Indian western girl who is stylish, career driven & promiscuous. Who is pitted against the pure, family oriented & traditional girl. It alway the pure girl that got the guy. They was never worth fighting for.
I was gonna comment the same thing! I love the scene where all the girls from the different cliques band together to help out Aimee. The episode starts with Maeve and Ola fighting but once they and the other girls see Aimee is in distress, they help her out.
I love Never Have I Ever’s example of female friendship. Davi *is* her worst enemy with her desire to be ‘cool’, not just her friends. Very realistic to how female friendships, especially in HS.
This is why I loved Sailor Moon ever since I was a kid. All about the power of love of friendship to the point of sisterhood. Even romance with Neptune and Uranus. That working together made them stronger and they all have different personalities and interests.
I think Meredith and Christina's friendship from greys anatomy is one of the best examples of friendship between two women where they can fight for their individual success and still continue to support each other. Im surprised they weren't in the video
One of my favorite depictions of female friendships is The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants - the way they love each other and stay connected throughout their own adventures is amazing
another good one with a similar concept is “drink now, work later”. it’s about 3 women that met in college and were rivals at first, but then became really good friends. the show mainly explores their friendship now as working women in their mid/late twenties.
my girlfriends have always been the most important, deepest and life changing relationships of my life, and I'm so thankful that now as s young adult I'm seeing more representation about female friendships that feel accurate to my experiences
These sorts of friendships have been depicted in novel serials for girls for a while now. In the late 80s The Babysitters club was wildly popular, and it was about a supportive group of female friends. A lot of similar series came out at the same time, such as the gymnasts, the sleepover club, and a few others I can't remember the names of!
True. Remember Valley Girl? One of the ONLY classic teen movies of the 80s not directed by a man? The girls did have issues but it did NOT stem from rivalry (some of Julie's friends just hated her boyfriend for shallow reasons), and they are portrayed as genuinely having fun together, doing their makeup, shopping, etc. A male director would never have played it straight; he would have just made fun of them and painted their friendship as fake and evil, most likely.
I've also been delighted to notice the increasing emphasis on female friendship/ bonds between female characters in children's entertainment, particularly in animated shows and films. When I was growing up, in the mid-70s through the early 80s, the only show I watched that paid any substantial attention to female friendship was Jim Henson's Fraggle Rock, with Red and Mokey (and also Red and Cotterpin in a few episodes). The popular cartoon shows that emerged in the 90s were no better; as much as I loved the original DuckTales, Darkwing Duck, and Animaniacs, all of them featured one girl forging bonds with male characters. Now, bonds between girls/women/female nonhumans are everywhere. We have the Crystal Gems in Steven Universe, and Mabel, Candy, and Grenda in Gravity Falls, and the princesses of She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and Carmen and Ivy in the Carmen Sandiego reboot; in the 2017 reboot of DuckTales, Webby, a token girl in the original, becomes the heart of a super-weird girl squad. Films lag a little bit behind, but 2020's splendid Wolfwalkers and 2022's Turning Red do a wonderful job of centering girls' friendships. Movies and shows like this send a positive message to their impressionable target audience. This progress deserves its own The Take video.
Honorable mention: The movie "The Other Woman" - now that's the most surprising and unconventional friendship on screen! Love this movie as it lifts me up all the time.
Probably the best story about female friendships out right now is My Brilliant Friend, which chronicles a very complicated friendship ovet the course of 50-60 years, with the evolution of Italian society as a very vital element.
We really got some terrible messaging in the 90s when it came to female friends. But I’m glad it’s changing and there are healthier relationships depicted now. My favorite movie about female friendship is The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants (I read all the books and watched both of the movies because it was one of the only positive depictions of female friendships in my youth). So I was kind of sad it wasn’t mentioned or shown even once. 👖
Some of my favorite female friendship movies of the 1990s weren't mentioned here, but Now & Then was a great one exploring group dynamics between 4 young girls and flashing forward to see them in their relationships as adults, and A League of Their Own looked at the camaraderie built between young women out of necessity during WWII, and the intricate and complex friendships they had within the team. I would even mention Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion, because of their dedication to each other and how their high school friendship and ostracization led them to being creative and imaginative adults. The dynamics between women can be complex and oftentimes confusing to onlookers, but there is something unique to the relationships with some degree of longevity, as women often feel the most comfortable "letting their hair down" around their peers, sometimes even moreso than with a romantic partner. My friends' weddings and baby showers devolve into us being total goofballs with an ever increasing volume, and no matter how long it's been since we saw each other last, we always pick up right where we left off, acting like we did in university.
Seems like everyone watched Now and Then growing up and nobody talks about it anymore. A shame because it's genuinely a great friendship movie (and unpopular opinion but it's way better than Stand By Me)
Female friendship stories makes me wish I had female friends. I had female friends back when I was a kid and when I was in college but we either drifted apart or I had toxic one sided friendships. It’s hard to find good friends.
@@aurora6920 Or did those movies perpetuate the unhealthy female relationships? My generation grew up with movies portraying a group of boys and the token girl or a group of backstabbing girls. In college, me and all of my girl friends said we got along better with guys than with girls. We felt that relationships with guys were less complicated- more honest and less backstabbing. Current teens grew up with healthier examples of girl friendships in the media, and it started when they were little with movies like Frozen. I'm seeing a difference already. It's still a little strange to watch a movie where 2+ girls are friends and don't turn on each other by the end of it, but my kids view a healthy girl friendship in a movie as normal. I think this makes a difference in their real-life friendships.
@@SfromWisconsin every generation i speak to all say they get a long with guys more, i think this is because girls naturally are more competitive and less honest with other girls.. where as as boys tend to be very upfront about their opinions so you known where you stand with them. I don't think movies have made men/women like this. Sadly it's like this in work places just as much as school. There were friendship movies in the 2000's too (but this video doesn't mention it) e.g. "Sisterhood of Travelling pants 1&2", "Aquamarine", "Wild Child", "Sleepover"... all 2000's movies about friendship, we have these movies in each generation too. Not all girls/boys have toxic sterotype behaviour, but it's a behaviour that's always existed in school/work places.
Women being portrayed as inherently competitive and scheming against each other for no reason while men are always naturally supportive of each other is something I'm glad that is dying
I wish they had mentioned Elle and Vivian in Legally Blonde. Rivals to friends. Also maybe Rhaenyra and Alicent in House of the Dragon, which was the complete opposite. Close friends to rivals.
Rhaenyra and Alicent are underrated. Not only is their dynamic unusually nuanced, but the story goes out of its way to emphasize that the cutthroat political environment of Westeros is a lot harsher on women than men. Game of Thrones obviously did the same thing, but seeing it through two very different sets of female eyes in the same setting makes it seem even more tragic.
The girl being friends while having deep resentment towards each other trope reminds me of a few cutscenes in South Park: The Stick of Truth. They talk bad about each other while they're a few feet away. And they cut to acting friendly to each other in seconds.
I am loving Sex Lives of College Girls so much!! I hope Mindy Kahling keeps doing more shows, they keep getting better and better! (although "Never have I ever" is a tie to me with SLCG)
I am so sick of the sexist narrative that women can never be true friends and will always backstab or betray each other . I’ve been best friends with the same woman since we were ten. She is my soulmate and sister. When her ex made a pass at me I told her, she trusted me and ditched him. We have had disagreements and arguments but we always choose each other and always will, even now as women in our mid 20s we still make time for reach other. Female friendships are real and deep and loyal so long as you truly love and support each other.
Honestly it is also because they still exist today as assholes in general (men/women alike). Mean girls still exist unfortunately especially in the context of being mean to other women in your life as their lives are still enmeshed within the context of a patriarchal/competitive behaviour against other women
I highly recommend Pen15 as a really funny take on this. But don't forget about sports-centered stories like A League of Their Own or Netflix's GLOW, where the friendships come from team camaraderie. Rivalries were always a funny thing to realize for me as a kid, because I grew up assuming girls always got along! Playgrounds, class projects, field trips...As long as there were at least 2 girls in a group, they would instantly connect with each other and become besties. After all, they're the ones who have slumber parties and stuff, while boys where always getting in trouble! It's all right there in The Babysitter's Club, which is basically the bible of female friendships
I love these type of stories and I find myself rewatching these as often as possible. I need more of these across all ages. Mid, late 20s30s40s I want them allllll
I’m in highschool right now, and while i’ve met my fair share of mean, fake, or toxic girls i don’t associate with them. I love my friends so much, i have a close knit group of different girls who have always supported me and helped me be the best versions of myself. While i do love media about catty women fighting, and seeing media interpretations of how women can have messy complicated relationships seeing friendships on screen similar to my own is refreshing- feelings of happiness and love like we want to surround ourselves with. Still love stories about how girls can be mean, but it’s nice to have both the light and dark sides of female friendship in the media
I think I’ve said this before on a another platform but I love the female friend group in Euphoria. It’s a diverse friend group. The friendship I love the most is Kat and Maddie it’s not competitive or it’s not Maddie trying to make Kat into something that she isn’t. I would’ve killed for a friend group like that is HS. It’s part of the reason why I love Euphoria so much.
Thinking about all the emergencies I've had where I've called friends instead if partners and the friends who have held my hands, dried my tears, and got me through the worst of my worst. Chosen sisters are such a blessing that I'm glad to see media catching to.
I have only had female friends...never really male friends, maybe I have one or three. I love all my friends and they are incredible...never understood the bad rep female friends get. People can be good or bad, it is not related to their gender
@@Missmagazinebura that's interesting, 'cause I have to say the exactly opposite about myself. My female friends say they find me reliable, caring and protective, but the males just say they find me too intimidating.
Like, sure there's exceptions, but female friendships are the most common examples of selfless and unconditional love, support and acceptance you see IRL. It's really nice to finally see that being portrayed ❤
Finally! I grew up in the 80's and had so many friends, most of whom were girls. And we're STILL friends. It's so sad that women are constantly pitted against each other onscreen.
But sometimes this glorification of female friendship makes women feel less than if they don’t have super close friendships with lots of other women. That just isn’t always realistic, especially as you get older. Also, toxic female friendships are real and I think there’s so much pressure to have lots of girlfriends as a woman that some women find it difficult to cut toxic friends from their lives.
I think the whole "woman at each other's throats" thing was about getting women to spend money on things to one-up each other, like fast fashion. Which is common in capitalism, where people are pitted against each other in toxic competitions. I also think many movies don't know how to portray women on screen because they don't take the time to understand them.
Also because men find entertainment in seeing women fight, especially over men. Notice ALL these movies (but Mean Girls) depicted girls are horrible are written/created by men 😂
This is OF COURSE why Samantha's reason for not being in AJLT felt not only mean and kinda a dig at Kim Cattrell, it also felt so inauthentic for the character. I mean, really??? She 'treated Carrie like a bank account'??? REALLY?!!?! Samantha is known for being THE friend in the original SatC who never shames her friends (ie, Carrie cheating on Aidan), is supportive without arguement both when Miranda decides to have an abortion then ultimately changes her mind, and though she disagrees with marriage, is a proud bridesmaid twice for Charlotte. I understand that Kim Cattrell didnt want to come back to the franchise, but to write such an awful, inauthentic exit for her character really seemed like a slap in the face to the trailblazer for female friendship that Samantha was....
so just something to think about for a future video essay, narratives that are all about life without the internet, whether it's about living in a world without electricity because of some disaster, or because the plot is set in a pre-internet era, it's like we can't get enough, even without considering that there are parts of the modern world that still have limited to no internet access,
Women rivalry is a big issue. Ladies simply refuse to be vulnerable to each other and even if they do express, the very moment they turn cold again. It's like we women have a certain phobia about each other.
*We know very well that in reality it is not like that, we are not all friends. There will always be a rivalry between women (NOT WANT TO GENERALIZE, ok). But, we know very well that there is a certain female rivalry. For example, if the husband/boyfriend has a mistress, a relationship outside of marriage, women always blame "THE OTHER", but they don't blame the husband, if the boyfriend looks at the best friend, sometimes, the women themselves blame the friend but not the boyfriend (because after all, The woman has to value herself and give respect. And men are just being men... It's NOT me who thinks like this, but it's the teachings of many mothers, who received from their mothers, and that's how it went from generation to generation. It is only in the present day that these chains are being broken). These are some examples I've seen. I also take the film as an example until today, 'MEAN GIRLS', where there is indeed a truth about the relationship from woman to woman. Leaving aside the issue of relationships, there is still female rivalry. Not all women respect each other, whether by political opinions, family, motherhood, children (to have or not to have, what women end up asking themselves), ideologies, issues related to appearance, body, feminism, etc. Not all women agree with this, which ends up excluding women themselves for having a different opinion. I think that even though times have evolved, there is still a long way to go.*
Personally no, as a young woman, if my boyfriend cheated on me he'd be the first one I'd blame, I wouldn't take it out on the girl unless she knew he had a girlfriend, when you say "women" make sure you use the term "some", please
I remember feeling weirded out how all the relationships felt very cruel in Devil Wears Prada including the ones she was supposedly "abandoning". The rivalry trope is what made me so happy when younger media like Frozen or My Little Pony stressed different but still loving with each other
Wow. All this progressive empowerment and friendship between females is only JUST showing up. Reminds me of Family Guy. "Men...we know how to be friends."
I always thought the reason why girls always hate each other (including their best friends lol) in movies is because these movies are entire written by men-and men generally treat their best friends horribly. that or they can’t fathom that women’s relationships be more a little bit complex than that.
I disagree that Cliff and Torrance are the emotional heart of Bring It On. I barely even remember his name. Those scenes were always a detour from the main story. Torrance and Missy’s burgeoning friendship is pretty stable and compelling IMO. Also, I never liked Bridesmaids. I completely missed the hype about it and thought the bloopers for the movie were way funnier. If the groundbreaking aspect was that the conflict isn’t centered around a guy, I’ll give ‘‘em that, but I was bummed given the cast and the hype.
Torrance and Missy's friendship has always been my favorite part of Bring It On as well. I've always thought that Eliza Dushku plays Missy as having romantic feelings for Torrance, and I wish the movie would have gone that direction.
I love SLOCG and I wish y’all would have mentioned how Whitney’s female soccer team was supportive of her and never shamed her for her relationship with her coach after he was fired. They completely held him responsible and it was nice to see.
I think soap operas get short shrift in any analysis of pop culture. I am a fan of one soap in particular, General Hospital, and while it is rife with soapy melodrama and competition, one of my favorite aspects of the show is just how important friendships are to the characters. The characters are constantly shown to be checking in with their friends about their daily dramas. Often, characters who used to be rivals or failed partners in a romance or even bitter enemies will eventually forge an even more meaningful and long-lasting friendship. The idea of friendship is really essential to the show - and that goes for characters of all genders and ages. Many of the friendships depicted on the show are between women, but many are also between men or between men and women. In a show that is basically about a bunch of felons who happen to work in and around a hospital, the importance of friendship feels surprisingly wholesome. I'd love to see soap operas get some attention on The Take. They may be a dying breed now, but they were a touchstone for generations of women, often passed down and shared between the generations, and they were also ignored by pop culture specifically because they catered toward women.
That insight about Play is powerful. That's what made the girls in Turning Red feel so genuine: the way they played together. They didn't care how they looked. They could be as goofy as possible, but they genuinely played together.
This is something I need to develop more. I started developing more male friends in high school due to my interests. In undergrad, the women I met via my major and on the equestrian team were often quite mean and exclusionary. Part of it was race, but it taught me that I should stay away from women when it comes to friendships. only had a handful of friendships back then. In grad school, I was able to meet more women and develop some good friendships. Again, there was hostility amongst my peers within my major, but outside of that, I met some cool, nerdy women. Today, I do try to meet more women and make more female friends. My friends are still heavily male, due to my hobbies (which are all male-dominated), but I've tried connecting with the nerdy women I meet within those groups.
I'm a male so I obviously prefer male oriented friendship stories but I enjoy any of them, its hard to go wrong with that particular plot point unless of course the "friend" is an awful abusive person and your confused as to why the script wants them to pal up with the protagonist who doesn't deserve to deal with all that crap. I will say my favorite friendship story is enemies to rivals, I think it's done best when they become friends but are still competitive in a friendly way.
I watched the gossip girl reboot but I prefer mean girls cuz I love dramas . I don’t watch girl friendships unless you count pretty little liars but there’s always alison .
As someone who has nothing but female friends I never understood why there was so much rivalry and hate. I guess my friends were the quiet ones and we had fun together. It just never made sense to me
At the time, yes. There really weren't any shows starring single women in their 30s at the time. It was practically taboo. People forget how recent it is that being unmarried in your 30s has been culturally acceptable -- it's literally just in the past 10 years that it's become normal. (And even still, misogynists love to say that any unmarried woman in her 30s is a bitter failure.)
@sharksandsheep true. Things have changed. It's just wild to me putting 30-somethings in the same "older" category as septuagenarians like in Grace and Frankie.
My Favourites: Golden Girls SatC Derry Girls* Sex lives of college girls Dead To Me Bridesmaids Pitch Perfect Stranger Things Euphoria Fate Winx Book Smart Bad Sisters Charlies Angels First Wives Club
Growing up reading comics, the new mutants was such a great series for its focus on female characters and friendships and such a let down that the movie chooses a romantic arc and rivalry as the central theme of Dani’s journey. I guess maybe had the film been successful, sequels could’ve developed the relationships further but I’ll always miss what could’ve been.
Baby Assassins, Assassination Nation, and Tragedy Girls are films that managed to establish female friendships in genre spaces typically dominated by men. Shoulda been mentioned