this is the “nice 😎” drop off box. drop off your “nice 😎”’s here. also if you are wonder why there are comments from yesterday it is because patreon people get early access to all videos (and are not pedophiles) 👉 www.patreon.com/shoe0nhead
My great grandfather was serving in the army in France in 1915 when he was 14 and won the military medal for bravery during the 100 days offensive when he was 17. He was very nearly killed at the battle of Amiens and most of his unit was wiped out. Lord Nelson had already been in the Navy for 2 years when he was 14. If being bedded by a sexy cougar and getting rid of the V-card is the most traumatic thing that happened to you at 14 I'll swap you. Most kids I went to school with were sexually active at that age except for me and a few other nerds. Getting rid of my V-card cost me £150 in the end.
On top of the female double standard , there’s also attractive privilege: if she wasn’t a smoke show and was an overweight lady with an eye patch they would be calling it rape I bet . You’re absolutely correct when you say they’re projecting
was looking for this comment. you could easily reduce the age-gap by ten to twenty years, it doesn't matter - if she didn't look great, they'd immediately call it rape.
Yeah the messages would probably be more along the lines of "dang son you could've picked better oh well maybe they did it in the dark a score is a score" or some such crap.
I remember South Park made a joke about this when Ike was 'dating' his School Teacher. Ironically, when Kyle, Ike's brother, reported it to the police, they didnt take it seriously and wanted to congratulate Ike for it. That's one of the first times my mind was blown at how real South Park was.
There was a girl in my high school that molested her friend's 12 y/o brother. The kid's sister ended up beating her ass in the lunch room when she found out.
the author deserved to be punched for making the puns in the first place, but the palpable pride he had of making them makes him deserving of insertion into volcano.
Shoe, this kinda crap is why it took me years to tell I was abused. It's like oh yeah a women slept with you? What you hated it? Are you gay? Like people think it's cool if it's a woman but a dude people are ready to burn the world! The psychological effects are devastating.
God, people trying to call sexually abused boys 'gay' is so sexist and homophobic. Its so sad you faced harassment for this shit. These double standards are so fucked.
"Are you gay?" "No I'm attracted to women" "Doesn't mean you aren't gay" That's an actual conversation I had with someone like that. Just another fucking idiot who deserves a bit of a memory jogging via a forced head slam on a sturdy table.
@@briancrosby152 you didn't deserve to. :( the extra piled-on trauma that boys and men have to feel about this stuff is one reason the way things work now cannot be how it works in the future
Had a discussion with a friend about the Kylie Strickland incident and he said “so you would be mad at her if she flashed your son?” and I asked him “would you be mad if a man did that same thing to your daughter?” He tried making excuses, then ended the conversation
As a victim of rape done on me by women, when I was 12, I want to thank you for making this video. I kept silent for 17 years and I have to say even after I have counseling and therapy, sometime it's hard for me to cope. And what hurts probably the most is how society look at this situation. I want to reward any voice speaking about this, so I sent some coffee money. And besides I watch you for like 10 years or how long you are here, many times with adblock on, so I guess we are even. Thank you and have a nice day.
The sad thing is there's not much in the way of support for male victims of sexual abuse. I also was a victim when I was really young, and it messed me up emotionally to where I've never been able to have a normal relationship. Every relationship I've had has ended badly because I am emotionally damaged and not able to connect properly with the person I'm dating. Feelings of love end up expressed by alternating between apathy and obsession, and it doesn't help that it more-or-less turned me into a sociopath until I finally had an emotional breakdown when I was 18 caused by antidepressants, after which I could finally feel emotions. I'm 28 now and I can't barely hold a stable job, every relationship I've had ended in disaster and broke me back down emotionally back to where I was when I was 18/19, and I'm worse off financially now than when I graduated high school. If I didn't have my family to help support me with certain things I probably would be either homeless or dead (self-inflicted). Therapy and counseling can only go so far, and if the person you are in a relationship with doesn't understand and support you through your emotional issues, your relationship collapses and you end up worse off than before you started dating in the first place. And society tells you to 'man up' like you skinned your knee ignoring the fact that you are either emotionally dead or a completely broken mess that has no choice but to kill the part of yourself that makes you who you are. And if you don't 'man up' you end up collapsing into your own spiral of self-loathing and depression where the only thing that you have to look forward to is a new cheap thing that will allow you to temporarily forget your pain for a few hours or days until the novelty of whatever the new cheap thing is wears off.
@@shred1894 thank you for sharing! I know it's hard, and I don't know you, but I'm glad you are still here and still sharing your experiences! You matter and your voice matters! ♥️ ❤️❤️
The problem is that we as a society, has fetishize the horrible act of teachers grooming and raping their underage students. Regardless of attractiveness, these people have a serious mental problem when they are in a position of power when watching over kids.
Nah, it's normalization of sexual assault in general Depending on attractiveness, a woman can get away with things that a man would be arrested for Things like that happen to adult men too, like getting someone so intoxicated they can't do anything about it (which tbf, there's surprisingly huge amount of people who think it's ok, regardless of victims gender )
I don't think it's necessarily the fantasy that's bad. I can fully understand liking a messed up fantasy. The bad part is tying that fantasy to reality and expecting it to work out well because happy brain chemicals. No stop thinking with the head between your legs, and start thinking with your heart! Why can't people just roleplay with consenting adults?
@@darkdaxterversionz Completely agreed. Yes, it's totally okay to have kinky and weird (to others) fantasies. No, it's not okay to force others into those fantasies who can't or won't consent. I'm constantly surprised by how many people seem to oppose the former, and equally surprised by how many people seem to forget the latter. Is it that difficult to distinguish fantasy and reality?
@@tasnica2438 Apparently so. You would think that the studies from Germany supporting Anonymous Therapy initiatives would prove that, but apparently not.
Aught now I gOtta know how many children have libido in this situation and why- I assume it'd be male culture to push sexual expectations onto them but I wanna know the neurology.
I worked at a psychiatric facility for years. The double standard in the psyche field is crazy. If a male staff member was discovered having an inappropriate relationship with a client they were immediately fired, arrested, and imprisoned. If a male staff was even accused of any inappropriate touching or anything sexually inappropriate with a client, they would be immediately suspended until an investigation was complete (female patients weaponized this and would falsely accuse male staff all the time). I personally walked in on a female nurse having "relations" with a male patient multiple times. Not only was she not fired and arrested after myself and another staff reported it, she wasn't even suspended. To my shock she was back at work the next day. My manager told me that the female nurse "had issues right now" and we had to be supporting of her. She was eventually fired after multiple incidents with multiple clients. This was not an isolated incident there. While I worked there, female staff were caught being sexually inappropriate with patients at about three times the rate that male staff were. I will not speculate as to why that was, but female and male staff were treated very, very differently after the fact. Our rule/policies even stated that it was illegal for a male staff to have inappropriate sexual relationships with patients. It actually said, and specifically stated "male" staff. I was told they finally changed the terminology in that policy just recently to just say "staff".
S*xual abuse (especially with minors) is usually a result of power dynamic, not gender. And since nowadays many women are in position of power (especially in medicine and education) its no surprise to see an increase there. Even at "normal" r*pe, its usually the power dynamic of plain physical strength. But its still surprising that many of these (recorded) cases happen in the US. In Europe for example you rarely find these cases. I think the overall toxic dating and hookup culture in the US is also a contributing factor.
“girls and boys are different” is not an argument here. regardless of gender, minor’s brains have not developed yet therefor they cannot consent. why is that hard for these people to understand
in case someone wants to know a person's brain becomes fully developed around 25 with the prefrontal cortex taking from around 16-25 to fully develop now each most countries have it in and around that age bracket as the age of majority so a 14 yr hasn't even reached that stage just adds to how messed up this and of course she is also rich which puts her in a second level of power because of her monetary might.
They think consent is about desire. In reality, that is only really the tip of the iceberg. Without full understanding, control, lack of coercion, comfort, and even just the whims of sometimes not being up for something, there can be no consent. A child cant have full understanding, a child doesn't have that control, a child can easily be coerced by an authoritative figure; so the fact that a child can genuinely experience sexual desire and be comfortable in the moment is not enough. It's also in this situation, the implicit misogyny of not being able to see women as dangerous or predatory.
@Jamal Ramadan i mean it's sexist both ways, it implies also that women are more emotional and therefore more traumatized whereas men are tough and should be able to 'deal with it' which is wrong obviously but it comes from patriarchy and toxic masculinity.
Instead they attack people for their thoughts yet there are real predators in the streets they feel stronger attacking the week and are scared of going at actual bad people. Theyre also scared of their own fucking shit in their closet coming to life. Society is a failure as we know it today
We did have a female predetor as a kid. 1998, Our 8th grade science teacher. She would bring boys into the back room for what she called 'extra credit'. We all knew what was going on. Somone called her out and she got fired for it.
@@dodgermaven I was 14 or 15 at the time. I'm not sure I would have known what that word meant at the time... To busy learning Quadratic Equations. 😂 I just know she was fired for it. I honestly don't know what else became of it.
Lots of possible outcomes to the story, and I'd imagine most of them would have been kept away from the students, but just knowing she was exposed and fired is definitely better than nothing.
As a guys that got graped by woman when I was 14, I wanted to puke when I saw people say "good for him" in the comments below the article, let me tell you, it's not even slightly pleasurable, it hurts, makes you feel powerless, your whole throat goes sore, and leaves you scarred for the rest of your life, it's disgusting how people can joke about it or even say that it's good that it happened, I loathe this kind of behaviour, and I feel great pity for the boy in question
I haven't gone through this and I hope I won't, but sometimes, even when your pp is erect, if you press it against something it hurts, I can't imagine how it is to be r*ped by a 40 y/o woman, most likely doing so in the way that is pleasant for her and not you (if ykyk). I even heard a pp can shrink from v*ginal pressure, making it smaller and yeah I don't think it feels that good, based on what I heard about how a peach feels like, it doesn't seem to feel that good. Must be traumatic and must've made you scream.
@@ktv9247 imagine saying you "don't believe" someone else's trauma. You could have kept that to yourself instead of causing more to be put on your digital footprint.
5:05 Without going into too much detail I can say from personal experience that this is true. When I was a child I had... an experience with a grown woman and it left me with both an obsession with sex and a deep fear of sex. I will be 32 this year and to this day it is the only sexual experience I've ever had because of the fear it left me.
thats what these people refuse to see, actual consecuence of this behavior, they try to insist that we are different when we are humans like everyone else and can be harmed in a lot of the same ways
The “keep his mouth shut” irritated me for a lot of reasons. But the thing that gets me is that a lot of guys ask the question of “why don’t people care about men when they’re abused?” And that segment was the answer right there.
they only love to bring up the "what about men?" argument when it's a woman speaking out on her abuse and inequalities. and once men speak out on their abuse and inequalities, they're hit with the "man up and shut up" from those same "men's rights activist" crowd.
@@gayfield420 it’s so depressing. They think sjws or feminist or the “woke”crowd are so awful when we’re the reaction to the system. Men, white men specifically just didn’t react with us. They understand somethings wrong but they don’t understand they’re defending the problem
Imagine really liking a teacher, and being excited that they give you special attention. Then imagine them forcing themselves on you where your first sexual experience is completely confusing and lacking of any agency. Then your teacher, whom you adored and respected, tells you you have to live with these incredibly complicated and sick feelings of what just happened in total silence or your favorite teacher will lose their job, you'll never see them again, and it will be all your fault. Then months, even years later, some suburban dad who works at OfficeMax says you're ungrateful for daring to open up about how your childhood was destroyed by someone you trusted. No wonder kids like this end up mentally shattered.
"he probably wanted it" yeah sure... in the moment you can feel like what's happening is a good thing, actually the person in the position of power committing the crime or abuse may be what makes the victim think it's okay, "wow my teacher is this into me, she must think I'm really mature for my age" "I must be her favorite student". But after the fact, the horror of what they had actually experienced can settle in. This is why children cannot consent. They lack the power and authority of an adult, they can't govern their own choices the same way. When one party holds an unbalanced amount of power and control over the livelihood, wellbeing, and safety of the other party it's not consensual, its a trap, it's abuse.
Framing it as if sex itself is some horrific regrettable act regardless of circumstance is just doing the same shit from the opposite direction, and sidesteps all the actual reasons behind the concept of consent Focusing on making people feel bad about the act, and not on the actual realistic consequences of sex and relationships which make these values important fucks kids up- the same as those weird religious drives to push celibacy on teens
As a child molestation victim, I can confirm that this take is accurate. You might enjoy it in the moment or think it's cool or not even care at all, but as you mature, things start to click in your head and you realize what actually happened. If you're lucky, you realize this before you grow up and try to be intimate with someone else, and get the opportunity to press charges and see the other person served justice.
I thought I was awesome when I was 14 and had a thing with a woman in her late 30s. After a string of failed relationships in my adult life, I learned a lot about attachment in therapy. Weird to have “mommy issues” when you have a great relationship with your mom 👀 any adult who seeks a relationship with a child is not doing it for any reason other than the P word
People who write these articles need to take this kinda thing way more seriously. The fact that there's crap like this where they just talk about what she does outside of the horrible crime she committed and downplay it like a mf when, if it were a dude, that'd be priority #1 with the same journalist(s)...yuck. Absolutely disgusting.
I mean, I would snort that in one go but the couldn't shouldn't have it. I should :) Actually 2lbs is WAYYY too much but I would work through it like a champ....
Sex with someone under the age of consent is a crime. No elaboration needed. I would have happily done it when I was a kid. And I would have been traumatized and filled with regret afterwards. Both can be true.
I've been s3xually assaulted several times by women. When I plucked up the courage to tell people in positions of responsibility (university staff/work manager) I was either laughed at or got eye rolls and told to "get a life". With the job incident, when the woman found out (gold knows how) I complained about her, she made false allegations about me, which were ofc taken seriously right away and I was put through hell for months till I just quit. Most of my male friends have also been assaulted by women. But men are the ones constantly told how awful they are and how all women are victims of us terrible men . The hypocrisy regarding this issue is infuriating. Thank you Shoe for highlighting this.
Well, at least now you know how it works. There's a lot of victim blaming so you're actually better off just getting therapy and avoid putting yourself in the same situation again. :(
It's just crazy how widespread and normalized sexual assault done by women is. I have so many stories I can tell about it. Similarly to violence (hitting etc) we don't seem to teach girls about boundaries like how we do with boys. It's quite unfortunate. And there is nothing we can do about it if it does happen, in fact we can easily be lied about and have it be turned around despite us being the victims. I know that most women are good people, but I have noticed some behavior that even the good ones partake in simply because they are just unaware that it isn't OK. Really don't know how this will be solved.
I'm 99% certain that every single journalist in the UK chose their career purely for the puns. You'd think an article about pedophelia would make them put the breaks on, but apparently not...
@@peaceandloveusa6656 I don't know how you can find humor in something this horrible. The level of normality on issues like this are beyond disturbing.
@@kristiannoetorres Tell me you don't understand dark humor is a coping mechanism without telling me you don't understand dark humor is a coping mechanism.
It makes me think of the wrestler Jake Roberts who lived through an incident like this when he was a child, and he was molested several times by his step-mother who was 21 at the time. He's very eloquently spoken when talking about the trauma/mistrust that it brought him, and it's sad that so many people's first question towards him is "was she hot?". It's not about what you're feeling in that moment, it's about how it will effect you in the future, and how it might warp your perception of relationships!
Jake had such a brutal life. His father was an inces*uous molester too, and Jake dint take his daughter on his life for a long time out of fear he might act out like his dad too
I'm a Christian Conservative and I agree. I h4te these double standards. The worse thing is that most of those disgusting men would call themselves Conservative and it really gives us a bad name. Any kind of r4pe is freaking disgusting.
I'm also remembering the fun times (Hermesmann v. Seyer and Olivias v. Arizona) when a female rapist successfully sued her underage victim for child support. Imagine getting betrayed, manipulated, and raped by an adult you thought you could trust, then relentlessly mocked by horny men, and then sternly told by a judge "victims have rights, but in this case victims also have responsibilities" and ordered to hand over a massive portion of your paychecks for the first 20 years of your working life for the person who raped you to use as their personal fun-money fund! 😵
Being a male survivor of child sexual abuse, I am shocked - but yet not surprised - by the number of fellow men coming forth with their own stories of being sexual abused ... Yet, whilst I feel overwhelmed by that, I'm also touched, deeply , by the wellspring of compassion shown ... it reminds me all is far from not lost, yet, and there is loving-kindness towards victims, and survivors ...
I'm here with you brother. Happened to me multiple times growing up by both men and women. It's a hard thing to talk about for us men, but being open about our experiences is a step towards de-normalizing pedophilia. Thanks for being brave enough to share this!
I was sexually harassed by a 40-50 year old woman once and I was 18 at the time. I still feel uneasy thinking back at it, though luckily nowhere near traumatised. I CANNOT imagine how a 14 year old boy would feel about literal rape. That shit is mentally scarring.
Exactly. They make up these dream fantasies in their minds but don’t think that it won’t be their dream partner, it will be someone they don’t want forcing themselves on them.
I know more guys who were sexually assaulted in college than weren't, and not one of us has reported anything to anyone. Just last week one of my friends brought up how he got too drunk and woke up to his ex going down on him. I had experienced almost exactly the same thing, so I wanted to support him, but the other guys just made the typical jokes about how there are worse ways to wake up and how he had to have liked it. I've avoided/lost many relationships due to sexual trauma, and seeing the cycle perpetuated like this is heartbreaking. Guys, we have to support each other and abolish these notions that girls can do what they want and that we should be grateful for whatever we get. This machismo horndog bullshit has got to go.
I've been in a similar position. And I believe guys act like that because that's how society tells them too and they know they won't be taken seriously, so they deal with it by making a joke if it. You're right, It does have to stop
Sorry you and your friends etc went through all that, that's fucked up. I hope dudes everywhere can start taking the shit seriously, and also that women can recognize and support the dudes, too. @__@!
I was a sophomore in high school and this girl sat next to me in lunch and started rubbing my thigh and I told her to stop which she didn’t, so I walked off, I stay away from her now.
This is so sick. I have a male cousins who was molested when they were young and I know how much it's messed up his life. Yes, some boys want it. But like all parents should know, just because a kid wants something in no way means it's good for them to get it. Thank you for fighting the good fight Shoe.
Even then, a boy may want it but may not be ready for everything that comes from it. Pretty sure that is exactly how it would play out when I was that age. Something that could become very self destructive
@@gups6662 Absolutely. There is such a rapid change in boy's (and girl's) hormones at that age. Using it to take advantage of them, however they may feel about it, is disgusting. "Doing it" is a very adult action and is more than just the act. It's repercussions effect people for years, if not their entire adult lives. Trying to joke it away because, "boys want it LOL" is repulsive.
@@tigewilson6209 Shoe had it right, the guys joking about are just placing themselves in that position and not considering the aspect of being 14 but view it as themselves now. But we really need to people to use their primary head a bit more. Guys are coming around to this, but you know how dumb we can be when a women were attracted to is involved. Some of us never get out of H.S. lol. That and guys that maybe have had this type thing will joke about it as a defense mechanism
Exactly. If we decided everything a kid wants is ok, legal and acceptable then they would be eating junk food all day, drinking and driving before they turned 14 for starters. But we don't do that. Adults have a responsibility to NOT just have a kid do whatever they want but what's good for them. Let alone be complicit, endorse, enable or take advantage of the things they want to do.
"Should of kept his mouth shut" Can't imagine why male victims are afraid to speak out. Can't imagine why male suicide rates are on the rise. Can't imagine why the perception of healthy relationships continues to get worse and worse.
Should have. No where in English is it "should of" ... it's should have or maybe should've. Never, at any point is the language "should of" as you quote.
This is the same double standard we have for movies too, Women getting sexually assaulted is like a tragic backstory but men getting sexually assaulted is played for laughs
can't even think of any modern western media where a main male character has that as their backstory. even if in the source material it is part of the backstory, it's conveniently left out.
First thing I thought of was Jennifer Anniston's character in Horrible Bosses. To be honest, I still think it's funny because of how over-the-top and ridiculous it was, but it made me try to think of a single time a woman getting assaulted was supposed to be funny, or a man getting assaulted by a woman was supposed to be serious. I honestly can't think of an example.
Actually, funnily enough it's a game I don't really like but Fear 2 ends with Alma raping the protagonist Beckett and getting pregnant. He's tied down to a chair so he can't push her off while he's trying to fight off a psychological demon cause Alma's a powerful psychic. It doesn't make fun of it or anything and Beckett's completely and absolutely disgusted by it and thinks the pregnancy afterwards is evil. That whole thing was just so uncomfortable to play through but that was the one part I kinda liked about it. They didn't explore that trauma much though
The Hulu series Fosse/Verdon is one of the only depictions I’ve seen in modern media about a man who is coping with the trauma of being sexually preyed on by adult women as a boy. Shows how these experiences are abusive and can result in some people coping through substance abuse and leading to difficulty in having healthy romantic relationships. And his own male friends do the whole “lucky kid” thing when they hear the story of what happened to him. Good series overall, and I think they handled this issue responsibly for once.
I've never heard of this show but I will definitely be giving it a watch. Could be useful to use as a tool to help teach others about how difficult it is to be a victim of this type.
what's really upsetting is that young male victims often don't get to express how they were indeed traumatised, ive read more than one account where the child mentions how they are mocked when they express how the experience was bad, resulting in recurrent nightmares, loss of friendships, family issues, etc.... Its truly heart-breaking, this double standard should not exist, but it does.
I've seen a youtube video about male abuse victims and how they often don't get help or aren't taken seriously, when they call in to a abuse hotline they are often told they don't help male victims and are redirected to the male abuser hotline where abusers can get help to become better... I know it isn't about child rape/abuse but it also shows the double standard men/boys face in our society.
can someone explain the 'smell toast' thing in this video to me? I'm a gen-xer and therefore hopelessly out of the loop. Help me millennials. like...some sort of weird reference to neurosurgeon Wilder Penfield is all I can think of here or maybe 'bread tube' but that doesn't really make sense.
@@Muonium1 im a fellow zoomer, and i gotchu. So when people have strokes, typically they describe a smell of burnt toast. So, her joke was "am i having a stroke" basically.
Hmm, i am alone. 32. I hate all human beings. I wonder why. No one cares because "i was lucky". The sadest part is this is our peak. This is the peak of humanity. This is the peak of our "intelligence". Do you not feel that is time for something new?
Knew a kid in high school who was being molested by a friend's mom. He was absolutely embarrassed and traumatized as his behavior changed after it started. It only got worse when the molestation was discovered. He killed himself a week later. He was 15. The mom was not prosecuted.
I was xually assaulted by a woman as a child. I was maybe 9 and simply didn't have the toolkit to even understand what had happened. I thought my parents would be mad and didn't tell a soul until I was an adult. (My parents are unbelievably decent people, and absolutely would not have been mad at me)
ya female boy rape is bad because some boys will not take it well. People should wait til they are the age of consent before exposing chilfren to this adult content.
I feel you. I was 6 when a friend of the family decided to introduce x-time and physical abuse. She (21 at the time) was the trusted family friend and one point tried to kidnap me. Being Hispanic was told that what being a man was, also men do not kiss and tell (This was the 1970's). That set how I dealt with relationship in the future. For the longest time with abusive females. This changed when my daughters were x abused (At the same age I was) by their mother's boyfriend, after their mother and I broke up (I was oversea with the military), did I get help. Granted it was during my daughters therapy treatment I broke down. For those closet pedo's supporters. At 14 both boy's and girls are having feels, if girls did not we would not have the underage mother issue we have today, does not mean they are ready. They looking for someone to accept them and show them affection. It is victimizes like you encourage others to bring pain into someone else's life.
@@l01230123 right? It's always hilarious the dudes who think that they got molested as a young boy and somehow didn't have it affect their emotional and sexual development. News flash: it did. They're just too lacking in self-awareness to be fully cognizant of how it affected them. That might sound condescending, and I honestly don't care. It's basic psychology.
See, it's stuff like "I didn't have the toolkit" that makes me so angry when people oppose sex-ed being taught in schools. If you're a kid and someone rapes you but you don't even know what sex is, let alone that an adult doing it to you is taking advantage of you, how do you even express that? It's why so much of the child testimony around this is told in euphamisms and in ways adults have to interpret. Not to mention that it's again worse for men in this respect because most sex-ed still defines rape as penerative.
The horse puns _alone_ should get the writer fired, blacklisted, forbidden from using any form of communication, and the soles of his feet worked over with a meat tenderizer.
@@owningdishonestshills7435 Yep, same as "predatory", "creepy" etc, these words are used wrongly so often but then when they should be used, they're dismissed. It's like "the boy who cried wolf" but all over the place, wrongful usage of it when it doesn't apply, then when it actually happens nobody believes it. Really is a sick world.
@@pjabber5679 Adult sleep with adult men, they get caught, both get in trouble over it as sleeping with co workers is not allowed in that job, the woman then claims she was groomed. It has happened countless times.
I was 13 when my dad got a prostitute for me, I was in a foreign country with him on a business trip. Him and a business partner of his pressured me into going through with it doing the whole "Oh you're so lucky! I would have loved if my dad did this for me when I was your age" thing. I wanted to "be a man" and was attracted to her (very beautiful Chinese lady of the night) so I went through with it, afterwards I did the whole scrubbing myself in the shower "oh God I'm so unclean, what did I do!?" cliché. It still affects me to this day 22 years later and has contributed a lot to my feelings of hypervigilance/trust issues and self loathing.
Sorry to hear this. May I ask; how is the relationship towards your dad now? And did your mom know about it? For me it would be a reason to ditch such family members.
Oh dude, nice. Big trouble in little china. Awesome. I didn’t get a prostitute, I was just molested 🤷🏼♂️ Anyways yeah all that stuff you mentioned sucks.
Sorry that you went through it, but I'm glad you're able to speak about it cuz people need to hear it. People literally gaslight teenage boys into liking sexual activities they were forced into. Of course that's gonna leave a serious mark, and people need to know.
@@steffimaier7297 I'm an open book so it's no problem. My relationship with my father is the best it ever has been, oddly enough, though I still feel a deep dread and unease around him. My mother was no Saint either, my parents were way overdue for a divorce and it was better for the both of them. My mother did find out, she could tell that I was very quiet and distant after we got home. I ended up telling her which was hard since I was threatened about not to say anything. They hated each other before that but that moment is when it went septic.
@@BlitzkriegBryce " I ended up telling her which was hard since I was threatened about not to say anything" So basically, your dad knew what he did was fucked up so he threatened you? Sorry, but what type of threat? if you don't mind my asking-- just super messed up i couldn't imagine my relationship recovering after all that.
Imagine being the kid. Being confused emotionally about the whole situation and everyone online is saying he's lucky but inside he's in pain. Actually terrible
I remember this one reddit post about a guy who got predated as a child. I cant remember the specifics of most of it, but one thing in particular made the story stick in my mind. He described experiencing a lot of shit, including a full fucking panick attack, from just visiting his hometown where it happened. Not even the specific place (if im remembering correctly), but just the town. Now imagine having trauma like that and trying to form a healthy relationship with a woman.
I don't know what post you saw but as a victim myself I can confirm that whatever he was saying is probably valid. A lot of people don't realize that minors are almost always coaxed into the situation that leads to the abuse. Being sexually victimized just changes how you have to go about your life in order to be comfortable.
Just had basically this argument today. Always amazes me how many people a) will perform acrobatics to justify a double standard when it favors them and b) suddenly have problems with double standards when it doesn't favor them. Really gross. Just don't be attracted to minors. It's easy.
Spot on! I see this kinda thing all the time in political discussions, and whenever you point it out, there’s always an excuse. “No, it’s different because x, what they did was truly bad.”
Except for the last sentence I completely agree. Curing the attraction to minors if you have it doesnt Sound terribly easy. I feel compation to anyone that doesnt act on it but seeks help.
@@spirit959ful Totally agree. I can't conceive of the idea of changing the things I'm attracted to. Luckily not minors, but I've got some weird kinks I'd rather not have. If someone finds some magic "no more pedos" pill/therapy/camp, I've got a few annoying kinks that would be easier not to have. Let me know, i'll test if it works on other annoying attractions!
@@abcdefghilihgfedcbaYou better watch your tongue before you lose it. Where I'm from saying shit like that will get you're ass beat beyond recognition. (I don't care if you're a man, woman, gay, or straight). It's never okay to diddle or beat a child what plannet do you live on?
@@abcdefghilihgfedcba laws worldwide also disagree on if the right to be legally recognized as a couple should be given to gay people, they also disagree on whether kissing someone of the same sex is grounds for stoning you to death. Your point?
As a man, I was disgusted by that article. I can't imagine the years of awkwardness that are gonna haunt that kid. She looks fucking crazy on top of that are you kidding me!? Also anyone who said "where was she when I was blablabla years old" should be checked up on honestly, like dude get a hold of yourself
Underaged girls can "enjoy it" or "be willing" too, and it's clear to see why that doesn't matter. It's not okay to r*** underaged boys or girls, end of story.
as a male sa victim its fucking insane to me how anyone in their right mind would be okay with saying or thinking "I wanted that to happen to me when i was 14" or some other variant of it. Ive been binge watching shoe's vids while working on stuff and im just glad normal people exist who can see and understand that its an issue no matter if its some "hot teacher" or something. Ive told some friends about some of the things that happened in the past but i have very bad memory plus I think a lot of the details are repressed so I never really talk about it or feel like I should. I wish more people would have the opportunity to speak up about this stuff without being judged by crazy people.
I always find it weird when people pretend that they understand the experience of someone who's gone through something they haven't. It's like assuming a woman should be okay with rape because you fantasize about rough sex. There's an astronomically huge gap between your personal fantasy and someone's lived hellish experience. Even if the boy *did* enjoy it, there's a non-zero chance that it's going to completely skew his views on relationships, dating, and sex, particularly if she was his first. There's a chance he's going to assume that all women want is to have sex four times a day and have no commitment or relationship beyond that. That's going to really mess him up if he ever dates a girl his own age, or any woman who isn't simply just a sexual predator. He's going to wonder why she's withholding sex, and why she wants to go on dates and get to know him and spend time together and develop a relationship.
or it might not? Since you said in the beginning pretending to experience someone else's experience? No teacher should be having sex with students, but the worst possible outcome doesn't always happen. males are less emotionally attach to sex than women so maybe he be fine. Im sorry I just don't like one sided absolute thinking.
Agreed. Also, there's an astronomically huge gap between having a fantasy and actually realizing a similar situation because, lets be honest, real life rarely lives up to fantasy. When I was a kid, I used to fantasize about being alone in a survival situation. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have been the greatest thing ever to have happened to me if I really was, say, in a plane crash and had to survive completely alone. The fantasy was just that. Escapism in my room while I waited for my mom to tell me dinner was ready...
It's also an authority figure. You CAN walk away from a sexual assault, or an imbalanced relationship without baggage if you did enjoy it. It's just not typical, and there's always residue from anything you experience. It will change the way you interact with authority figures, workplace relationships, and pleasure. It can skew the way you feel about pleasure. "It was pleasurable, that means I can't complain. I don't have any scars, so let's just stay in this bad situation."
@@ladyville3 child molestation victim here, bad take. You're gonna have to just trust me when I tell you that there is a 100% chance he will experience negative consequences for this his entire life. It really doesn't matter what gender you are or what gender you like, being raped or molested at any age will fuck with you for life. The only things that differ between individuals is how exactly it fucks with you and the frequency at which it does.
@@kailgale part of that is that people have a weird tendency to fantasy they're more capable or more in control than they really are, while everything is an idealized version of people and/or events. that's assuming they even actually understand what they think they want, which is a whole other mess to deal with
I know several guys that were molested by woemn when they were kids. and all of them are not 'health' sexually. Dudes will put up a front, but it damages them. One guy I know has never had a healthy relationship, and he says point blank cuz of the babysitter that molested him. He was 13, she was in her 30s. That article really does show the double standard. Wanna bet she gets a slap on the wrists?
ya female boy rape is bad because some boys will not take it well. People should wait til they are the age of consent before exposing chilfren to this adult content.
This really affects you in ways that only become apparent over time. And there is no way anyone will see it from the outside. You will try to repress it as much as you can. Even the boy himself will not understand it until later a lot of the time. It hits you like a truck, the fact that you didnt actually like that situation. The person you are at 13 is drastically different from when you are 20 (including sexual maturity, which a lot of men and women seem to not be able to understand). The stats don't lie, the rate of mental issues and suicide skyrocket for victims like these once they grow up.
You know what I love about your channel ShoeOnHead ... its where reasonable people, whether they are conservative or liberal, come to point at the crazies at either end of the spectrum and yell "NO! STOP!" It gives me hope, that things might eventually normalize ... Also your reactions are hysterical!
I was one of these people who were saying “lucky kid.” Not proud of it, I didn’t realize how much it fucked them up later in life. The kid is 14, he doesn’t know wtf he wants and that older teacher was taking advantage of that. It’s fucked
ya female boy rape is bad because some boys will not take it well. People should wait til they are the age of consent before exposing chilfren to this adult content.
Glad you've learned about the damage it causes. Hopefully, we can help spread it to the rest of society and accurately call out how horrifying the actions of these p3d0s truly are. There should be no double standard when it comes to this shit.
First of all, I'm sorry for your experience and huge respect for being a survivor. Secondly, I've never even had any significant experience with sexual assault, and the comments disgust me too. I find it hard to key into that level of un-empathy, even if they're just being "edgy"
Most predators will not search for you by the Creek or in the trees. Most predators are totally socially integrated and are people near to their victims with their parents trust. Stranger danger should be the least of parents worries. It is good to warn children against unwanted behaviour instead. Teach them to say no, teach them to get help. Show them that you take them serious without drama.
I am a male that was routinely sexually molested by women in their 30s & 40s. It started when I was 13. You might say, I was an "apt pupil". Friends told friends and I reaped the rewards. If an exceptionally good-looking woman came to get me to "help" with something, my father would even pull me off the tractor. Chest all puffed out, "that's MY boy".
"where was she when i was 14.." Well.. I met mine when I was 8.. Yes I "Wanted", and it's easier to think that it was partly my choice, but it fucked me up a lot, not just for the act itself being too early .But for the inevitable breakup that needed to occur. My mind was not fully developed to deal with that amount of feelings. Being so close with someone, feeling like that person cared about you and then one day it's gone, because she got bored, to this day I have a hard time with my personal relationships... always afraid of beeing abandoned.
Stop blaming all your problems on something that happened years ago and seek professional help. Nothing is ever traumatizing unless you believe it to be traumatizing.
This is the mindset I used to have as a kid, when you grow up in as society that tells you men are the superior sex, than a women can never have power over male and thus never rape him, it's a fundemental misunderstanding of power dynamics. Same logic is applied to male domestic abuse victims, they're told to man up because they're the stronger sex.
Same shit happens with white people and the term white privilege being thrown at them constantly. As if white working class people (who are the majority of white people) are privileged. Just because they're less disadvantaged than a black working class woman doesn't mean they're privileged at all. They're both just different types of disadvantaged. But now people have it in their head that any and all white men have privileges and no 'real problems'. A rich women will ALWAYS have the power dynamic over any working class man. A rich white women actually has access to white privilege, and can use and abuse that. Power dynamics are not like the stone ages...
@@mousysaint9143 As a socialist I agree, race comes with its own disadvantages but the biggest divider is class, concepts like race based discrimination were specifically built to have the working class fight amongst thenselves, worker soldarity should come before anything else.
Domestic abuse is slowly going in the right direction. Johnny Depp won the trial over Amber Heard. But we've still got a very long way to go to treat women the same way as men and not go easy on them for extremely awful things, as evident with how this woman is being treated for r@ping a child.
I don't think anyone is going to read this but I was also assaulted by an adult woman at age 11. She forced my to have my first orgasm. How come People call me lucky when i myself don't consider myself lucky. It literally ruined my life. I've literally had people be mad at me for not liking what happened to me. No one was there to help me. And even to this day i have to listen to people twice my age telling people like me that we are lucky, and that we should've stayed quiet.
I read it, hope you're doing at least slightly better with time lad. Nothing like that happened to me but I get at least in theory how bad that'll mess up someone. The sexually frustrated freaks and creeps thinking you're "lucky" really strike me as morons who've never given those situations a proper thought.
People who say stuff like "Where was she when I was 14?" are dangerous because they don't understand the difference between a fantasy that may take place in the mind of a young boy, which is normal, and the dynamics of a real encounter of that type. Stuff like involves manipulation and malignancy even if the boy thinks he's consenting.
Honestly they are not... People saying dumb things like this does mean nothing more than "I'm such a big guy behind a screen," but of course they would never say it in public, what they say is really cringe but nothing dangerous, since their fantasy is being a kid, something is not happening, you need to chill, uncomfortable comments from dumb people is basically the rule in social media, maybe people need stop giving them attention...
Yes they are: those comments are not satire, they are just rants from ignorant people, which are the majority. Now, I am not American so I can't really say for the US or Canada, but here in Italy people who think like that do exist, and they are a problem. It's a form of misogyny, imho
The fact that they’re making puns in the damn article shows a blatant disregard for just how serious this is. It’s just funny to them, haha, something to laugh at, hilarious! God I hate humanity.
If you're too young to REFUSE, you're too young to consent. Maybe if it was called the "age of refusal", people would start taking it a little more seriously... ...probably not, but maybe.
It's not that boys and girls are traumatized by different things... It's that they are traumatized in different ways by the SAME things. There was an interview with a boy who had been abused by a female teacher. He said every thought revolved around "when will I get time with her? Will I get to see her today? Does she want to have sex again?" He said all he could think about was the next time it was going to happen. He was devastated when she didn't speak to him, or paid attention to other students. But she kept stringing him along. He said it ruined him mentally. He doesn't think about things like normal people do anymore. It's a fascinating interview.
if he was raped, he wouldn't be "so happy to see her again." a lot of men spoke about their traumatizing experience that destroyed them, afraid, feeling shame, they did feel this too
When I was 7 my first baby sitter tought me "how to please a woman" multiple times, even to the point of forcefully making out with me, at the time I thought nothing of it. I'm in my late 30s and still have issues because of it.
Oh my god... I am so so sorry that happened to you. All I want to say is that I wish it were possible to hug your inner child. I can't imagine how confusing and scary that must have been. Anything about harming children just tears my heart apart and...you were so young 💔 I hope you're doing alright and that you're taking care of yourself. Best regards.
All those people saying 'why didnt he keep his mouth shut' omg this is why a lot of boys have issues coming out about being SA'd :( They watch their SAer be praised while they're shamed and told they should have enjoyed it. It's horrible
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ Anyone who thinks that any child is lucky to be molested by any adult, is either broken or dumb. The example of a boy being attacked by a woman, and people basically saying he's fortunate, is the kind of mental abuse that churns out toxic masculinity. Imagine the genders reversed and telling a little girl she's lucky and has bragging rights after being subjected to the perversions and hedonism of an adult. It's so far beyond blaming the victim when it's a little boy because they're not even acknowledging that there's a victim, they're literally trying to say that the trauma is something to associate with success and incorporate into the sense of manhood. I agree with you and I love that you're calling bullshit.
There is a strong double standard regarding rape. I was molested at 14 and when I spoke up and they asked me if I was gay because I didn't enjoy it. It was an awful experience.
The same men who approve of the boy getting molested by a female teacher will scoff at the same boy as an adult, when he talks about the trauma he experienced as a result.
This is the same thing men hear as an adult if they are raped. I was left with serious psychological damage. I was 21, and in the 17 years since only one person has empathized, the rest of the reactions and comments comments are the same, "but was she hot?" "You probably liked it" etc... say those things to a woman after that experience.
@@flyoverkid55 i was young and dumb, drinking at a party. A girl approached me repeatedly trying to pick up on me, I constantly declined her actions and verbal requests, telling her I had a girlfriend. She didn't drink at all, she had a sober lifestyle. I ended up going to bed drunk alone and woke up with her in my bed. I was told by others in the house that she was quite loud... she had either woke me up or just used me while i was sleeping, I was blacked out at this point and dont remember any of it.
@@flyoverkid55the woman can manipulate, use weapons or get the man drunk. She could be super obese and on top of him. Or she's really muscular. It's really not hard to imagine many many ways.
My ex gf raped me. Very weird situation to be in. Needless to say, she ended up slandering my name, told everyone she knew i was a predator lol. Guess who was believed...
okay So, this is hard. But I was sexually absurd for years by most of my teachers. It was the only way to keep my grades up was to "give up the d for an A" News flash. I got expelled because they made up shit to cover it up. It took YEARS to get my life back on track and prove I was the victim. When i was 18 they lost interest and saw me as a risk not a toy. It ruined a lot of of my life and esp mu relationships for a long long time
When I was 15 I got used up by a 24 year old college student. She would come to my high school with no identification etc. walk right in and pick me up. My friends were giving me high fives and the staff at the high school 100% knew what was going on but did nothing but smile at us. It took awhile for me to understand what actually happened. Once I learned the hard way it is not cool at all.
If you're told enough times that you're a victim, eventually you start to believe it. That's the true sad moral of your story. And as a therapist I can confirm this. You CAN be traumatized not by an event but by people convincing you that you should be traumatized by it. Same reason you don't get sad and worried when kids fall.
@@Ace-pc2cm whether you do or don't believe or feel that you are a victim has no effect on if you actually are or not. If I start trying to beat someone up, it doesn't matter if it hurts them or not, they are still a victim of assault.
@@dimwitgang5544 It absolutely fucking does. I'm a therapist. I've had so many clients that were perfectly fine after a "traumatic event" and only got affected by it years later once someone convinced them they were a victim.
As a grooming survivor you are so SO spot on. when I was a teenager being groomed, I thought I could handle it. "Sure he's like 40 but I'm really mature for my age. I know what I'm getting myself into" it was only when I was an adult that I realised how badly that shit fucked me up. These people are fucking disgusting and anyone weakening the word pedo and groomer are too
This is more of a second hand story, but I remember this instance where a substitute at my high school noncon-ed one of the students over the weekend and a bunch of guys went up to him and did the whole "nice bro" and "you're so lucky" shtick. It was so disgusting seeing that shit, especially when he didn't even look like he enjoyed it, yet they kept going. She was immediately fired and no one remembered her outside of the coomer dude bros who were cheering him on.
I am male and have a twin sister. I asked my abuser one time why he chose to do this with me and not with my twin sister. He answered that he obviously couldn’t, because she was a little girl and that would be wrong. Then I asked him why it would be any different with me because technically I am the younger one. He never seemed to have realised that before.
This video is so deeply upsetting. When I was 14 I was groomed by a 20 year old man. He isolated me from all my friends, made me doubt that I could trust anyone who wasn't him, shit talked me constantly, cheated on me every chance he got, pressured me to take photos of myself I wasn't comfortable with and threatened to kill himself if I ever left. It was a nightmare of abuse, but I thought it was just normal because that's what he made me believe. He took advantage of me breaking up with my previous partner and being in an incredibly vulnerable position to use me for his own games. He loved forcing me to pretend I was a 4 year old child and him my Mother. I was pressured, but I consented to everything not able to understand the full ramifications. It caused lasting psychological damage and trust issues that even years after I still haven't been able to overcome. Now what if I told you it was actually a woman who groomed me? Does that change what she did to me? Did I suddenly ask for it? Did I suddenly become super lucky and someone to envy? Is my trauma not real because a woman did it all? How fucking lucky for me others get to dictate what is harmful to children and what isn't. Pedophilia is NEVER okay, no matter what the predator or victims gender is. It's incredibly harmful. Look up male victims, some of them have made videos talking about how much it's destroyed their lives and ability to form healthy relationships. Thank you Sh0e for taking a stand against this sick, twisted culture. No victims of grooming or pedophilia should have people telling them they should be happy or stay fucking quiet to protect their abuser.
Idk if this is common but I feel like when I grew up I had sexuality pushed on me. Everyone assumed I was gay because at 12 I didn't seem Interested in tiddies. I'm sure that's caused issues for me, but you can imagine the people that raised me like this caused several issues in several ways so it's hard to point out. Now I have a 12 year old son who has been allowed to be a child and doesn't have this weird shit pushed on him. And guess what. He just acts like a kid. As a teenage boy you are told your value is based on how much pssy you get. Your supposed to be about it. This shit runs deep and all these damaged psychos in the comment section would rather stay in denial than confront their own issues and point out a p*do when they see it.
I think it depends on how you grow up, even in the same country environment can be very different. I lived somewhere everyone assumed you were straight, which is not so bad, better than the climate of making everyone doubt today. I discovered I was gay when I was 18, today people would say it's late, but I don't think so. I am really glad I didn't ask myself these questions when I was a kid. It's okay to educate kids, but pushing anything sexual on them should be a crime. Like you said, your kid has no particular agenda pushed on him, and he's just a kid, sex is something that you grow up into and it takes years. I'm glad your son has a good environment to grow up in.
" As a teenage boy you are told your value is based on how much pussy you get". I grew up under that same bullshit, and came to know that the guys pushing it weren't getting laid either. Any man ( or teenage boy) who has to tell his friends how much sex he is having, is usually a liar. I didn't have many friends when I was a teenager , because I wouldn't go along with their hive mind bullshit.
I had something similar but with me it was more when the whole having it pushed on you socially that really started to cause issues (so I guess in a sense you're talking about the same thing pretty much).
This video touches a LOT of painful strings in my soul I was molested by an adult woman when I was 15 She spiked my drink and had her way with me But of course police refused to take this case because, in their words "you wouldn't be able to prove it"
Also, this still haunts my interpersonal relationships, no matter how I try, I cannot fully trust any woman in my life decade after what happened, and it even affected my sexual life, as I am still potent, but cannot ejaculate with a woman, only when masturbating Sorry for details, if anyone reads this. It's just that it hurts me to watch stupid people on internet say stupid shit
This is the worst form of victim shaming, or blaming, or whatever. I can't put a term on it, but imagine an actually traumatized kid, trying to talk it out fighting his own self, and getting labelled as lucky to raped, and not be a dick about it.
At this point I'm fully convinced that these "oh he should have kept him mouth shut" people feel jealous that they didn't get to be taken advantage of by their teacher (in there current perverted state of mind) and now pay a fem-dom to step on them and call them the pig that they are irl. Love you Shoe!
@@pjabber5679 I'm not, I'm only saying the that people with a distorted mindset to think that it's okay for a minor male to be taken advantage of by their adult teacher are gross. And I guess if I have to add, abusers are bad... mmmkay?
Nothing more infuriating that someone judging the ethics of a situation PURELY by how they'd react. Like THEY would have enjoyed it as a boy, therefore all boys would have enjoyed it. Pure narcissism.
I was groomed and taken advantage of to lose my virginity to an older woman. I’ve had a terrible time in relationships and a want to distance from sex for six years. Only finally have I found a decent enough partner that understands how hard it is for me. Not only did I not consent at the time, but I couldn’t consent even if I supposedly ‘wanted it’. These people are sociopaths. Thank you for talking about this.
THANK YOU!! There are survivors and male victims who don't get to express themselves about their experiences. I hate how our society has such a gross double standard. Thank you so much for addressing this! ❤️🙌
@@pinkkfloydd No, its actually not. It's a double standard enforced by women as well, but its really primarily enforced by feminists. Hate to break it to you, but feminist have created rape laws where "forced to penetrate" doesn't count as rape. Feminists have done this and other things to destroy the idea that men don't get raped. In ancient times there were actually stories of men getting raped, like lot and his daughters. So no, its not men who enforce this, although on internet comments sections ut might seem that way.
@@pjabber5679 time and a place dude. time and a place. If you feel that way then make groups and lobby the government for equal custody laws and equal money for prostate cancer.homeless shelters etc etc , I would support it but you need to create the infrastructure first
