Hi ladies! I received so many comments for more on the shadow side! Several ladies also let me they couldn’t find much on the web on this topic. So, I went back in and tripled the length of this video to get as much information in here as possible. I don't want any of my ladies being played or taken advantage of. Hope this is helpful ❤️
I’m 15 years old and I just wanted to say thank you for this guide because I truly do need the help on my feminine growth journey. Thank you for your guidance
You are so welcome! It's great that you're starting early, Makenzie. The world can be such a beautiful place if we navigate it correctly. Cheers to your journey 🥂
Do not anyone stand in your way to feminine growth. Also never let a man waste your time and resources. Youth is a woman’s power and so are her looks. I wish you the best 🌷
Sooo happy you're learning young! I started learning in my late 20s, better late than never lol but I would definitely be further ahead if I learned as a kid ❤
no matter what our shadow self is, maintaining healthy boundaries and keeping people at a healthy distance is very important to keep our sanity. and yes, feel free to use your shadow self if people around are seriously testing your patience and won't back down. staying classy is not always the option.
Yes, boundaries are so important! I also wanted to point out, that keeping quiet isn't the only way to classily handle a situation. Some situations absolutely require a different strategy. Thanks, Faiza 😊
Tap into it, girl! Starting small is ok! You don't have to shed your shyness overnight but as you grow into your most feminine self you will notice yourself getting more and more confident. Cheers to your journey🥂💕
Silence and withdrawal has saved me and has revealed so much to me in my lifetime 🙏🏾. It can hurt the other person but time heals wounds and brings back people who are supposed to be in your life. I love it because relationships can be tricky and when tension builds it can be a multitude of reasons.
Yes! I definitely agree that this is a great tactic to have in our toolbox. It gives us a moment of silence and clarity to figure things out in our minds. If used correctly and respectfully it doesn't cause any long-term damage.
The Dark Feminine should be utilized in ALL areas of her life (personal, social, romantic, and professional) when necessary. It's pushed on BW to stay in "love and light" especially in romantic relationships and that's how they will get got!!!!
I'm a mixture. I do/did pretty much everything on the list. I tend to be avoidant, then cold, then I talk, and if it doesn't change, I act. The entire time I'm telling someone so I can have witnesses. Especially since I'm at a PWI. I love text messages because I never delete them, but it's not my go to. It's only when people start acting dumb.
Great tips! I often use my words and psychology to manipulate. I love my shadow aide, She is tamed, controlled and timely. Whenever I do switch over I feel so much power there, it’s scary sometimes but balance is key. 😊 Taking action is my second shadow trait.
Silent withdrawal is my natural shadow tactic after I've clearly set a boundary and someone keeps ignoring it. 2nd time I back up and repeat my discomfort..3rd time I walk away for good.
Excellent video! I think I have employed most of these tactics, based on the situation. I am definitely more the avoidant, silence type of gal. I let my absence speak for itself. I silently make moves when I am forced into my darker side, especially when dealing with the opposite sex. These are valuable tools to have in our Feminine Handbags, it isn't all soft life and luxury. A lady has to know when to take the gloves off and steer the car. :)
Yes ma'am! Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and unfortunately because we don't like to think about that, we are often left unprepared when less pleasant situations arise!
I think I may be captain of the avoidance team! I’m really glad that you reviewed these tactics. It’s always healthy to do some self reflection and make sure that old habits are serving purposes or are adjusted to better serve purpose.
I am more on the silence and withdrawal tactic. I dont like confrontation, I stutter when I have to defend myself by words, therefore I prefer to keep quite, listen and just walk away. At the end of the day, I'm glad they won't have anything to hold me against.
This is so useful for us women at all ages. As the adult daughter of a mentally ill patient i had to learn alot on my own and it was very difficult. Now is my 40s i appreciate these videos as many lessons i learned the hardway or just to be grateful for the lessons learned and continue to polish my lessons learned. Also, i do learned interesting things too for myself so i appreciate you very much and this community. Sending hugs to all the ladies of all ages here.
Top class! 👌 I unconsciously apply both silence/withdrawal and direct approaches. Now I know the pros and cons of all, I'll be more tactful. Many thanks xx
When it's someone close to me and that matters to me, I try to speak directly with that person. If it is someone from work or an irrational person, I opt for indifference. And if he or she is a total stranger because of the sarcastic smile. Thank you very much for these videos dear, I love them.
Ooh that last lady who got her phone taken was in warrior mode. I bet he regretted that move! This is such an interesting topic. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I don’t operate in my shadow side much although I did leave a couple of not so positive reviews last week. In a weird way it felt like a powerful move for me because normally I only leave glowing ones and just not say anything negative at all but I rely on truthful reviews so much online it felt like I should also be truthful, not purely positive this time. Now the reviews weren’t completely negative in that I tried to be more objectively factual overall and I also tried to include some positives, but the fact that they weren’t totally positive as per usual made me feel like - don’t mess with me sunshine. I’ve definitely got an inner ice queen buried deep inside for ‘special’ occasions. Bless her, she only makes an appearance once every decade I’d say (I’m raging inside if I resort to this) but she’s there waiting to take the reins when needed. I’m someone who likes to talk things out for sure but I also dislike confrontation so may go missing or silent for a while initially in an attempt to figure things out for myself and see where I go from there. I think for me in the last case especially I need time to mull over what my own involvement was and I think being somewhat self aware is a good thing because I may have inadvertently encouraged this behaviour or perhaps my own expectations were too high. Being respectful, open hearted and minded is important always when we do meet someone face to face and discuss our differences. We never really know what’s going on in someone’s mind or life and a chat may help elucidate both parties. ♥️
Thanks for the video! I am a straight shooter and I am a move maker. The combo of both used to get me into a lot of trouble! After years I have gotten better at using it to my advantage I never knew that was a shadow tactic. I am just naturally blunt and straightforward, I also follow through with my word because I view it as my currency to those around me.
A main reason I'm taking a break from corporate America is because it forces me to have to lean into this strategy more than I would like. I get results, but it can be draining especially when dealing primarily with the opposite sex. Great video as always!
Great point! It's so true that being in any environment that forces you to function from your shadow more than 20% of the time will absolutely be draining. Wishing you all the success as you navigate your next steps, Odemi! 🥂💕
@@TheFeminineUniverse Thank you! ❤️ I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on careers for women who are marriage minded and better suited for leaning into our divine feminine most of the time. I feel a lot of high-paid jobs just want women to be men 😭 and I'm so done with that
This was such a great video as usual. I noticed a bit of my tactics in a few you discussed. I realized it depends on who I’m dealing with that determines which tactic I use, but mostly it’s the nice/nasty, silent treatment, and action taker. Thank you for putting this together. Have a wonderful week!
This was such a great video! Hearing the different types. It's interesting because I use many of these depending on the situation and with who I'm dealing with. For example, ignoring. If I'm dealing with a stranger or someone I don't particularly care about I'll just ignore them. I save my energy for those who matter.
Really excited for this video! And I'm so glad you did this, I think it's really important. I recently realised that when I get angry, I lash out in quite insidious ways which can be so much more dangerous than hurtful words. Working on my shadow side will help me recognise the patterns that precede my anger so that I can be more at peace and less destructive. Thank you Feminine Universe!
Another excellent video and much-needed for our reset. Within my wherewithal, I am definitely action. I have taken over mismanaged projects at work, removed major privileges from my kids when they've misbehaved, and been divorced twice because I have a very low tolerance for disrespect or repetitive wrongdoing. When something is not within my immediate reach, however, I default to silence and withdrawal. I can't make people change but I will not stand around and be complicit in ill-treatment.
I loved this video a lot! and it's sad to see it age restricted but enjoyed it everything you talked about was amazing just gold information. I would say, silence and withdrawal and showing with action comes to me really naturally. I just don't want to make people to feel that I am dependent on them to feel good. I would just stay silent or do it myself.
This is such a helpful video! I was raised in a very strict family where we we not encouraged to voice our opinions or feelings. I evolved into an insecure young woman who didn’t speak up for herself. Fast forward several years…..I’ve learned how to speak up, say when I feel disrespected and deal with it by taking the high road. I resonate with avoidance (walking away, thinking things through and responding later) and being direct. If someone’s upset me or hurt me, I am direct and have no qualms letting them know what they did and what I expected. At work, I use the same tactic. I would rather calm down before I say something I’ll regret. Thanks for all the work and planning that goes into your videos. 🌺 Mary
This one was really fun. I have been working on my growth journey and honestly I’m still getting to know myself within the context of my growth. But I see examples of being direct, being cold and quiet, and acting on action. So far it seems that my shadow self uses tactics depending on the circumstance and people I’m dealing with
You are so welcome, Paris! Unfortunately, life isn't always sunshine and smiles, especially when dealing with certain types of people. We should be prepared for that as well 😉
Mines is avoidance and withdrawal/detachment/cold/distance 😮💨. Thanks for this video I’m definitely learning a lot from your channel and trying to apply your tips & advice to my life. Great video 💕
I know I'm a year late but I'm already starting to tear up watching this. And I know I'm going to have to start and stop this to check in but I really appreciate the amount of compassion shown. Whenever I get upset or a show this side, I often feel guilty instead of trying to understand this as being protection. Thank you for being you and don't change. 😊
I appreciate that, Madeline! Just want to make sure we are familiar with all the tools in our toolbox. Especially the things that will help and protect us in tricky situations 😉
Saw this vid upload and immediately liked😄 love the channel. Mine would definitely be manipulation and I *definitely* eat the cons. I feel like I should also try and implement the talk it out above perfecting mine. Thank you!
Welcome, Jessica! Absolutely, when used correctly our dark side can be such a great protector. Being feminine absolutely does not mean being walked all over 😉
I actually do a combination, but I do like the direct approach most of the time. But as I have grown older I realise each one has a specific purpose and sometimes works better. For example I use avoidance for smaller things.
You are so welcome, Clara! I always appreciate hearing that😊 I spent the holiday weekend mapping out tons of new content for you ladies - so, there's much more to come💕
IMO it is important to embrace the dark side of you just as you embrace the light because both are powerful. Live in such a way that if someone should speak badly of you, no one would believe it.” - Zig Ziglar . ". The best thing I have learned is to master my emotions. The verbal ques I use the most are "let me give this some thought", and my fav "I see" these words are followed by me removing myself from the situation immediately with no further explanation.
Okay so I find that my shadow side is a combination of some of these tactics you named. Manipulation, revenge, and avoidance! Revenge has never worked out for me in the grand scheme of things and I stay away from that one now but it has definitely been my got to in the past. Its too petty and childish and I have learned my lesson with revenge and in my opinion should be avoided. Now avoidance is still very much present in my life and Manipulation I dont use often but I have, nothing malicious, but its one that ive dabbled with. However, the silence/withdrawal seems to me to be thee most effective especially for women like myself who are very laid back and pleasant a large majority of the time, nice and always smiling. So if I were to just go silent/withdrawal the person would be trying to figure out what they did wrong and likely try to make things right. Now that wont work on my man because he is not one to be ignored baby and that mess would backfire on me so fast in a situation between him and I 😂😂😂😂 Thank you for this video dear! I love your channel so much praying for your continued success and blessings overflowing 🙏🏽❤️
I just observe what's going on around me and act like I don't know that somethings going on and than depends on a situation/person but I find the right time and place to either get closer to them in not too much fake manner, somewhat like we're both agreeing on being in good termes or if it's not possible I show them that I'm not to mess with without being rude or hurting them, more like letting them know by my attitude that I know what their up to and that I could outgame them if necessary But honesty its all only if I'm stuck with those people for some reason, I like to just cut off negativity whenever I can and enjoy myself and my life
Always so blessed by your videos. You seem much wiser than your age. My shadow tactic is similar to your, I just simply redraw to my own space and mind my business
Thank you, Bernedette! I'm so happy my videos provide some value for you😊 Absolutely agree - if people refuse to respect our boundaries silence and withdrawal is one of the best tactics, in my opinion.
Nice nasty is definitely my shadow tactic. I got it from my Mom. We both know how to sweetly get our get our point across with just the right amount of sting. I do veer too far into sarcasm at times and when that has happened, I've people make the exact comments u mentioned in the cons.
This was absolutely genius I think it is your best video I have watched! However I will say that my ex gave me the silent treatment till it was stonewalling an abusive it can easily feel to someone like you were punishing them and make them afraid of you! It did me.
💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💕💕 thank you so much for talking about this..ty n you are right on all your words keep posting..you are from heaven sent. Enjoy your day and journey as you show us the knowledge I personally thank you sending love from Memphis 💕💕💕💕💕💕
To add to the cons of responding with actions is that avoident personalities and strength in numbers people tend to hide behind you to fight their battles and you attract enemies wherever you go,but the best pro is that those who know you trust you completely that things will get done when you're present or at the very least believe you to be not exaggerating when faced with difficulties. This is the shadow I struggle with a lot
Good video, good message I like the action type of dark side. This is something that I want to practice more of in conjunction with the direct talk that I am used. 1.Can one apply more than one tactic ? 2. Can one be able to change the one that is currently there?
Omgoodness thank you so much for this video revenge would be to much for me personally but maybe the silence one might work thank you so much for covering this cus i never know what to do . Until now 😊
I definitely used to be the revenge type and I’ll still leave a negative review. But I am now more of the distance and silence from type. Because it is so much unlike me so my silence of my presence is felt
If someone is rude to me I usually ice them out and then forget they exist. In some situations I’ll call them out and be completely straight up. I’m trying to shake off my too nice personality and people pleasing tendencies…I hate that kindness is taken as a weakness because I’m naturally a peaceful person and don’t like being combative. I tend to think karma will take care of people and I’ll win in the end. But then I have pretty good boundaries so if I sense some mine is toxic I banish them immediately. Prevention is better than cure.
My shadow tactics is straight to the point where is my some of behaviour seen as fault to some people , if they are clearly pointing me or say my name i’ll gladly to show my shadow tactics wich is argumenting what i believe and point out their beliefs is not alway true with a little bit savageness
