I really appreciate the role of muzammil as a father and husband. And the irony is people keep asking you about the 'khushkhubri' the next day from your marriage but still talk on pregnancy is a taboo. Humna is really helping in making the pre and post motherhood journey easy for new mothers by sharing everything that women need before pregnancy and for the child so kudos guys.
In this whole conversation i just kept imagining myself how i would see myself as a real father rather than just being a money lander. I have never spared a minute to comment in my entire life but bhai and bhabi jee made me to do so. 💜
Humna is so well-spoken Masha Allah.. agree with the conditioning women have that their real job in life is to manage the house chores and children, so even when they are working equal hours as their husband, they feel guilty when the housework is not done. Unfortunately our society has forgotten the sunnah of the Prophet SAW where he did all his own work. Great discussion overall!
You should understand that it's not responsibility of a woman to do job or earn money.... A women responsibility is to obey her husband and taking care of children and home... If she earn money it's her choice, But earning money and going to work doesn't free her from her responsibilities of taking care of home and children.... Taking care of home and children should be on priority for her.... And she should feel guilty for not maintaining home and children... You are mentioning here the sunnah of prophet pbuh, how you forgot the sunnah of Prophets daughter (hazrat fatima) who do all the household chores with her own hands....
Kindly is trah ki in-depth conversation over the struggles of newly weds and young couples share Kia krn. All of your channels and instagrams of both are super motivating and helping for me to deal with my married life, motherhood, and work life. I must say Allah Jaza den ap dono ko in sab k liye Ameen.
You guys are power couple. You walk the talk. I learn a lot from both of you and takes a lot of motivation from you guys. Thank you for this platform. The podcasts have so much to learn from.
This is so real and I’m glad to be able to understand why I feel overwhelmed, guilty and frustrated . Thank you! I will share it with my husband so he understands too 🙊😄
I feel very proud to say that PwC Karachi office has a fully functional daycare service and all the corporates should take inspiration. Thanks, Humna and Muzamil for speaking about these untouched topics. This will surely make a difference. stay blessed.
Literally this podcast should be shown on TV. Mother do everything she is house wife + job then they received what u do … this all is your responsibility… you r born for it. If man do omg wow what a great man(Jannati- out of this world)… and woman (jahnumi- bekaar) in her presence husband has to do all this..
اچھا آئیڈیا تھا اس پروگرام کا۔شکریہ سلمان آصف صدیقی صاحب فرام ای آر ڈی سی نے اسی بارے میں کسی انگریز کا quote بتایا تھاکہ "THE BEST Gift A Father can Give to his Children is to LOVE their Mother."
Putting forward the perspective of a yet single person as asked for: Completely agreed with most of the arguments mate, especially the fact that society lacks inclusivity for women in many ways, let alone pregnant women, so many unannounced taboos, and whatnot. The argument I found the most spot-on is how women just lose their sense of skills and intellect eventually being left outta the convos and eventually someone who was probably on way to becoming a doctor or Software engineer, suddenly won't even know their way around computers and smartphones! Shocking... isn't it? The life keeps revolving around the kids and no freedom or dare I say eventually no real life of their own...😶
I loved this episode! As a mother of a 2.5 year old, I really wish Pakistan was a more inclusive place. My son was born in Saudi Arabia and I visited Pakistan when he was 2 months old, only to he appalled at how terrible breastfeeding is in public. I've breastfed everywhere in Saudi Arabia and now Canada including malls, airports, buses, restaurants, etc but breastfeeding in Pakistan was a nightmare. I had to request Maria B.'s sales reps to let me use their try room to feed..every time I fed outside (using a cover), men would stare and try getting a peek. It was sick and seriously isolating. I'm glad I was only there for a month but really, considering we're half of the population (if not more), we need to have more inclusive spaces for mothers!
I lived in Saudi Arabia as well for a good 7 years of my life and in Jeddah, which is the most liberal part of the country. Never saw mothers breastfeed in public there. I'm not saying this in a reactionary way to defend the people/men of Pakistan. I know women don't have it easy there but honestly I never saw anyone breastfeed in public in Saudi. Therefore I assume it was inappropriate over there too
24:47 its not just a pressure on a working woman i an a full time homemaker with three kids and alk sorts of house help but still the husband and his family need to understand tht this girl who became a part of our family she is learning how to manage the house and she will make mistakes she doesnt hav any experience of doing all this as the mother in law in the house who has been doing all this for years.... the girl needs to be relieves of tht pressure wether she is working or not.... as humna said
Humna is so right.. for any working mother, to leave your child is traumatic for a mother- BUT in Pakistan it is more compounded due to societal and family pressures and also judgement from coworkers who comment on 'how well" you "handle" leaving your young child at home + everything else!! so glad there are forums to raise these topics now - I did this in the 90s when the environment was even more hostile towards working women in general and working mothers in particular!! looking back - I am not sure how I survived those years!!! got lots of "badges of honor" of being a "super woman" but all I remember from that era is being tired and angry/stressed/judged/guilt tripped all the time!!!
You are doing a great job. I have a suggestion as per my observation. Please arrange both the mics in such a way that they don't cover the face of the speakers. I have found the guest's face hiding behind it a couple of times. It was the same scenario in the case of Suneel Munj's video. Otherwise good job and amazing content. :)
I always tell my girl to listen to both of them but she's not interested somehow but i know she'll watch on herself because a lot of her life is just like humna.
29:35 its sooo diff for a woman to even go to the washrum.... its sooo true... and the worst part is tht sometimes other woman around u who hav gone thru all this themselves Dnt support the poor new mom...
I could really relate last part to my mom. As she was also never a part of anything major in her life except for taking care of her kids, she now either doesn't have converse in family gatherings or likes to avoid gatherings in the first place.
Great to hear from a working couple with a year child. Just to add my 10 cents here, "I guess we need to define first that if both parents are working then what is the actual goal behind it, either it could be necessary for living or women is in a career-oriented job/work. Needs to analyze the gain & loss in opting for being a working couple with baby.
Fantastic conversation guys. Love you both. More power to you guys. This is the first time I'm commenting on a RU-vid video and I'm glad that THIS is the first one. The conversation is super amazing and so educating, kudos. Muzamil bhai I think you've done so many podcasts but I think the value of this conversation supersedes almost every other, except perhaps the one with Hamza Shafqat. Hope you guys can keep doing what you both do for as long as you WANT. :)
Aap dono ek podcast unke liye bhi bana de jo husband out of country hotay hain for earnings or females he sabh sambhal rahi hoti hain or husband 2 yaa 3 saal se pehle ghar bhi nahi aa saktay apni family ke liye
I have been following your *chefs kiss* channel and podcasta. I m absolutely sure about saying this that this is one of the best podcast I have ever heard.Like seriously this podcast, these words should be out here (not there) to be listened and understood.I m a teenager and I really believe that it should be normalised.😊♥
Very nice talk . But why its always said k aurat ko permission do job ki never about k aurat ko force mat kro to earn specially if you are already not playing any sort of role at home or helping with the baby
Nice chit chat.. I want to add one more thing which is educated mothers want to take their kids at work with them but they asked nanys to keep their kids at home 😐 why not you allow the nanys to bring their kids with them so they can play as well in front of his mom.
You guys just looked at the petty aspects of things, however parenting in general and motherhood in particular is a much bigger state of affairs 1. Starting from clothes most ladies in pak get their dresses stitched from tailors so the market demand for maternity clothes is not that high. The moment there will be market needs brands will not hesitate a moment to pour in stuff 2. No harm in men helping with household and kids rearing and being at the labour room and letting the mother pursue her goals however you guys didnt discuss the bigger outcomes i.e. men then expecting to share in finances. So watch the boundaries before erasing them completely. 3. Mothers do miss out on a lot of socializing and other stuff in life which fathers continue despite being a father but how about that 3 times more rank as a mother and having jannah under one's feet. Everything has a cost and so does motherhood. Bearing a child and all that pain in raising them gives mother much higher rewards that a men never gets an opportunity for. All this is from a full time professional working women. All I mean to convey is having clear roles and boundaries will ensure healthy relationships. There can be a middle zone where women go out to work or men help in the house but the main lead of affairs outside the house should go to men while the main lead of affairs inside the house should be for women as this is goes well with their biological and physical creation also.
Good job. Every job is noble , as long as the person has a choice. In pakistan usually parents want their children to become doctors so they get better rishta. True or not. If both parents are working, joint family system cannot work. It is easier when it is nuclear family system. Every person also need their own time too. Always try to have your own place at young age. So you pay off your place at early age and save for retirement. Privacy is a huge problem in joint family system. Man’s family dont like their son too have the concept of 50/50 of sharing house chores. A big hint for working parents, when you come home take 30 min for yourself . Tell children and family members this. Take shower take deep breath. And then come to the family. Always have a support system from family members , and friends, work peer Go to gym or walks . Instead of panicking also take parenting classes before having a child. Head Starts and child cares for children are very important. In canada they allow maternal and paternal leave for 1 year, For both father and mother which is a best system. At the same time once you have children the discipline of time is very imp. Child bed time, nap time if it is consistent, this helps parents alot.
Excellent! topics Guyz now I want to ask being a husband I allow my wife to work so it is her responsibility to share the earning with her husband’s as well. Or it’s up to her its her choice and husband cannot ask what she is doing with the earning. and He keep playing the good husband role
Pasha Sahab you must know this k man is The bread earner of the house It's his responsibility to take care of ecmveryone financially And NO,you can't claim your wife's money according to Islam
@@mrpasha5893 According to a sheikh I follow, if a husband lets his wife work he can ask for wife to contribute towards things that are related to the house. E.g if both are outside workign all day and husband comes home to find no dinner, he has has to order from outside for the family. Then he can ask his wife to split the cost between them. If wife is not home that means house is not being cleaned either. So he can ask wife to split the cost for a maid. But he can not ask her to split the rent or if family goes out on weekend to a restaurant, to mall etc he can't ask wife to split food bill or shopping bill. Here is the link to the video>> ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-M0N5F3pgecE.html
@@catsgram24 yahi kaam tou rehagaya hai mardo ka ab... Kamae bhi woh, ghar kay kaam bhi woh karein, biwi kay saath kharey hokar kitchen mein khana bhi woh bunwaen, bacho kay diapers bhi woh change karwaen.... Biwi kiya karey phir...? Beth kar shohar ki kamai khae aur apna wazun barhae....? Jo na ghar kay kaam ki mukalaf hai na pampering ki....? Yahi baat tum biwi ko bolo gay jo kamati hogi...? Kahogay ussey kay you are the mother of children you also have to spend on children rather than expecting his father.... Nhi tub ap ko islam yaad aajaega.... Tub ap "aurat ka paisa us ka apna hota hai woh jo chahey woh karey" waali philosophy implement karwa ney lag jao gay.....
