Firing Managers, What Was Your Favorite Firing? 

I like the person who had the integrity to tell the woman that it was in her best interests to take another job.

That woman who withheld medication just to get another person fired should be arrested. Why would you risk someone’s life just to get back at someone you hate

A guy with violent anger issues probably isn't the kind of guy you want to send to repossess things other potentially violent and angry people might not want to give up.

My Big boss hired his god daughter who was a freaking nightmare and didn't want to work. She was sent to all areas of the business but nobody could work with her. One day she picked a fight with me and when I finally snapped and took a step towards her to answer back, she hit me with a portable radio, cut my eyebrow, left me with a black eye and nail marks where she scratched me as I held her back from me. I was sent to the directors office and the managers tried not to smile and gave a high five. They finally could legally fire her and the owner couldn't say no. I was given a couple of paid days off and my boss slipped me some money to day sorry. Glorious.

I had a good firing once. I worked overnight at a 24 hr pharmacy chain. Someone kept urinating in the hand soap dispenser in the men’s room. This went on two or three nights a week for several months. Finally caught the person doing it one night when I started my shift. I used the restroom before clocking in to work. The bathroom was filthy, so I resolved to clean it first thing in my shift, rather than the second hour as usual. When I left the restroom the evening cashier, who just finished his shift, entered it after me. I clock in, fill the mop bucket and grab the basket of supplies, and arrive at the restroom right as the cashier was leaving them. Sure enough, the soap dispenser had been freshly violated. When confronted, the sociopathic teenage employee said he did it because “it made [him] feel superior”, whatever that means. Oh that firing was so satisfying.

I once aided in getting one of my teacher's fired Was in middle school (small private school, no more than 10 people per grade) and we had this new teacher they had to hire mid-year because the old, beloved history teacher had a medical emergency and couldn't complete the semester. New teacher was a bug-eyed, intense woman who was very clearly underqualified for the job. Her classes consisted of her reading directly from the textbook and asking us to basically repeat the reading from memory, and anyone that couldn't do it was chastised. Needless to say, she wasn't very popular amongst the middle schoolers, and my classmates became generally vocal about it, so I think word got back to her and she figured out which students had said the more colorful things about her. Fast forward a few weeks to the first test she gave, we all knew the material pretty well, but out of nowhere half the class failed. I thought something was up, because I had passed with a 100% (I wasn't one of the students on her hate radar I guess), but I waited to do anything. Next test, I decided to purposefully answer a few questions incorrectly to see if she was actually grading the papers or if something was up. Sure enough, I got 100% on the test and the same students who had failed the previous test had also failed this one. The thing is, she gave us our tests back to us (they were done in ink, so she couldn't alter any answers) and I got together with all of the other students to cross-check, found out that she was basically giving random failing grades to the students who she heard bad-mouthed her, and just giving everyone else 100's. I and a classmate went to the principal after school to explain what happened and she was fired the next day. Principal fixed the grades and took over teaching the class for the rest of the year. Talked to this principal a few years ago (he is now a close family friend) and he disclosed that when he confronted her about the concerns, she basically went on a tangent about how "fucking awful all of us were" and that we were "driving her to alcoholism," kind of implying that she had been showing up to school drunk. >TLDR: teacher got mad at 12 year olds, failed the ones she didn't like, did nothing to cover her tracks, and got fired 3 weeks into her job.

4:32 good for the guy to tell the poor woman that the company was going to screw her over, that has to be the one time anyone's been happy to be "fired". He should quit too if the company was willing to pull a dirty stunt like that

I wasn't the firing manager, but it was surreal getting called in on my day off expecting to be let go myself from a failing store, and the district manager was walking the store manager out, so they needed a shift manager on hand.

I worked security at a place where a girl kept using her child as an excuse to leave work. She then stupidly posted what she was really doing when she left on social media. I watched the entire staff come together to build a file on her bullshit and she was gone the next day. It was very satisfying to see

In one of the buildings I was managing there were thefts occurring on a particular floor on a particular shift. After both my boss and I ran countless card scans and watched hours of video, we figured out that it was two security guards. However, since we were short on personnel at the time, instead of them being fired, they were "phased out", allowed to train their replacements. Still, the thefts continued. I transferred one of the two new guards to another site in the city and ran that building, that shift, short for a week as an experiment. Since the thefts continued, I figured out that the original thieves had found a passkey that only worked on 30 rooms (this was a 24 story building and keys were made "in a series" so that work groups had access to each other's offices) and had passed it on to their replacement. A week later it was Christmas and one of the shift supervisors called off sick (she actually was sick), so I worked an overnight. I walked in the building and found the security guard in question asleep at the desk. I immediately fired her. As soon as I had a replacement at the desk I went to my office and cut off any possible electronic access for her-even though I now had her access card in my possession. The thefts stopped.

Before I started working at my current retail job, there was a guy fired for sleeping on the job. When we are hired, we are informed about certain things that will get us fired, sleeping on the job is one of them. But this guy was special. He created space behind the toilet paper and hand towels. He then went to sleep. He snored, LOUDLY, giving himself away. He was easy to find, partly because of the noise and partly because his feet was hanging out. I still laugh when I think about it

"Mr Big's Disposable Douches" "123 Cotton Pony Lane". Not going to lie, I giggled a lot!

The cake one was a work of performance art. Like that manager deserves recognition for doing it so carefully.

Never fired anyone, but I did help a manager get enough material to fire someone. I was shutting down the rooms I worked in at the time before I left work (was an MA), and I was setting things up for surgeries we were going to have the following day. My friend was trying to find the surgical packs for her doctor's rooms, and we both tried finding out where they were stored. We found them, still dirty from the previous week, in a pool of stagnant water in a room no one uses. The MA that was the main helper for that doctor never cleaned them, and would call out constantly for clear fake excuses (even saw her erase her name on the calendar and denied it when confronted). I told the manager, my friend and I had to clean them, sanitize them, steam them, and pack the instruments. The girl was called into our manager's office the next day, and she quit before our manager could fire her. I was so happy she was gone, she did no work and acted like she was the hottest thing on the block, meanwhile she couldn't tell you a lie to save her life.

I was almost fired from one job because some guys offered to take me with them over the hour lunch so we could all hang out. 10 minutes from clocking out to reaching the restaurant, so I figured we'd give it 10 or so minutes to get back, maybe a bit more to account for traffic and maybe for the line at the clock-in station. That's 10 minutes down the highway, so way too far to walk, and they'd done the driving. 35 minutes after we got there, I asked if maybe we should consider paying and leaving. They told me to chill and ignored me. 40 minutes after we got there, I bring it up again. They told me to stop. They were leaving when they were done. 45 minutes after we got there, I'm getting really irritated, because we were going to be late getting back. 95 minutes after we got there, they *_finally_* started getting ready to leave. I got blasted by the boss for being so late back, and he never gave me the chance to explain. I never went out with those guys for lunch again.

Fired a few people. Some I really enjoyed telling "Leave. Now." Some, not so much. Did save one guy's job. He had a hygiene issue. As in wearing the same clothing for a few weeks at a time, never bathing, no deodorant, etc. Everyone gave him gift baskets over the holiday, mainly soaps, laundry soap included. Nope. I finally just walked up and told him flat out he smelled. Bad. Go home, clean up, wear something clean. If not, don't bother coming back. He acted shocked. Left. Came back the next day clean. No problems after that. He was a nice guy, great at his IT job. The company did end up screwing him out of a bonus, and he got even. So when he quit, put a bug in their system that when they searched for something, it gave them the answer, then deleted it from the system. Someone did an inventory of parts, it wiped it from the entire system.

Awww I cant believe they fired Ninja Computer Guy

Wasn't my firing, but a guy I knew from high school was hired a couple days after me. The first or second weekend after he was hired, he was scheduled to work and the next week he was gone. I asked a coworker and they told me to NOT mention it to the boss: he no-call no-showed and when she called him to see where he was he said "I've got better s*** to do with my weekend then to spend it at [company]" and hung up on her

This reminds me of my own little incident at my previous work. I was the maintenance manager in a factory. One new hire kept ignoring my orders and was found constantly sitting in the lunchroom by himself texting on his phone. I called out to him to get his butt of the chair and help me with something important. He snapped bavk at me with "no, you're not my boss". My respons. "Yeah buddy, i actually am your boss". He turned white, got up, poured out his coffee in the sink and followed me down. He wasn't fired that day, he was however got kicked out after destroying a machine by negligence and tried blaming it on someone else. Idiot.

Back before I had the authority to fire people I got someone fired. She was so worthless I flat out told the boss that if he ever scheduled her with me I'd just call her off and work by myself and the res to the staff said the same...

“Had to fire an IT support tech because he stole an admin username/password and used it to change his job title to Ninja Computer Wizard.” Oh, the irony... 🤦🏻‍♀️

I won't even go to my son's work (food place) during his work hours unless I'm dropping him off, how humiliating is that for a teenage kid, much less calling in to say they can't work because you decided to take a trip? That's stupid and setting up failure for them!

I was second shift supervisor in my department and HR sent me a new hire. A younger guy, who looked kind of familiar to me but I wasn’t sure why. I dismissed it and was giving him a fair chance to learn and see if he could handle the job. I had 3 guys on my shift, one a real good mechanic, and two that were learning well and great workers. I sent the new guy to do PM’s on the anodize cranes which are 32’ in the air, but you work from a scissor lift. The other two guys were working on an evaporator system because they knew how dangerous it was, and I knew they’d be safe, I was called to the extrusion press for a problem. When I return there are three guys on the evaporator, the new guy was there and had left the job I assigned him. I was upset, but sent the extra to help with pm’s and I was there to help with the evaporator, since the drain wasn’t working. I wouldn’t ask my guys to do anything dangerous, I always took those on myself. So I tell the new guy to stand back, and show him a water hose about 12’ away, telling him if something goes wrong he needs to get that hose to help me., I had to remove the damaged valve from the bottom of the evaporator which was holding about 150 gallons of acid, very dangerous for me if anything goes wrong. Well, of course the valve hangs up on the last thread and before bit comes off manages to spray right into my face. I immediately head in the direction of the hose and wait a few seconds but nothing, I realized one eye wasn’t burning and opened it enough to get to the hose and rinse my face off, then saw the guy just standing around, he hadn’t been paying attention at all, so I lit into him about responsibility and safety. And he apologized, so I told him we all have to look out for each other. By then it was near lunchtime and so three of us returned to the office and the new guy went to get something from the break room. He still hadn’t returned when lunch was over so we went looking for him, and he was not in the factory. So checking the parking lot I find him asleep in his car, I just knocked on the window and he looked at me strangely, then jumped out of the car. But he kept wandering around and was never even trying to get involved, so I finally told him he was done, that he didn’t want to work or he’d show some interest. It was a couple weeks later I finally realized he was my middle daughter’s friend’s older brother and he was always creeping on her when she went to their house swimming. So I was glad I fired him.

11:14 The fact this comment ends on "I couldn't get him out of the shack and off the property fast enough" seems rather ominous, like the OP is actually cryptically saying that they weren't fast enough to prevent the catastrophic inferno they'd just alluded to.

Jeff, the Crack Karate Guy had me in stitches. Dude seems like a bit character in a sitcom.

I was the account manager for a security contract, which meant I was the manager of four medical facilities' security teams. I had one guy that was absolutely useless. He was afraid to go hands-on, would cower at confrontation, couldn't be bothered to show up on time, and called in sick on Thanksgiving forcing me to work a double. He finally ran out of chances when he got confrontational with a nurse that told him to physically restrain an intoxicated and aggressive patient, and I got called in at 10 at night. The time wouldn't be such an issue, but my main site was three hours away from my home, and I had to be up at 3 in the morning six days a week to work a ten hour shift. I was pissed... I went in, chewed his ass like I was back in the army, and told him to turn in his equipment and leave the building immediately. He wanted to go get his jacket from the locker room, but I told two of the other SO's to escort him out immediately into the cold. I got one final **** you in when he had to walk to his car in freezing weather. **** that guy...

Not a manager but a lowly security gaurd in a hospital. The team was split into three groups, full time guards who petrol the whole hospital. Part time guards, there were two of us, both of us allocated to the ER, and casual guards that were on call to do one to one patient watch. Patients that had been detained under the Mental Health Act had to be individually nursed but as most were sedated and asleep, hospital management would have a guard posted to watch them, with a nurse doing hourly observations. The parient can sleep, the guard cannot. One Saturday afternoon I got a radio call to return to the Security Control Desk for a phone call. It was the our site manager, who gave me clear instructions. 1. Take fax from machine. 2. Procede to cubicle 28. 3. Wake up guard. 4. Tell to put his shoes back on. 5. Hand him the fax that would explain the outcomes of his actions, and remind him sleeping on duty was intant dismissal. 6. Retrive his radio, company name tag and hospital pass card. 6. Instruct him to be off site in half an hour. When I went to cubicle 28 I found him in a soft easy chair with his feet up on a coffee table, shoes off. It took some shaking and shouting, "WAKE UP, YOU'RE FIRED". The nurses had tried to wake and failed so reported him to hospital management, who called my site boss. Site boss called me as ED guard. Our role in the hospital was to provided a safe environment for the staff to work, can't do that if you're asleep.

Was a rank and file employee but saw one guy get fired for being beyond lazy at wal-mart. Came in early for my overnight shift to pick up a couple things and paid at the electronics isle and saw this guy was 'cleaning' a paint spill, and instinctively knew how I was going to be spending my time that night. Started shift a couple hours later, and all he had done was put down absorbent stuff we normally use on hazmat spills to soak up the paint, and left it to dry. His argument was "the fumes were making him dizzy" even though it was a fume free environmentally friendly paint, and he then stated it 'would give overnight maintenance something to do." I still am very thankful no little kid tried to eat the absorbent or someones dog. We had to disassemble the shelf and move the paint cans to scrape that crap off the floor, stuff I might add he was asked to do during HIS shift, and we would've helped when we clocked in....

"Remember, there's no such thing as a second chance." -House of the Dead 2

That last story reminded me of the time the father of one of my coworkers asked if she could have Black Friday off. Manager said it's a required shift. He told my manager something along the lines of, "Well she's not working because I won't let her, or I'm quitting for her".

Switching tables in between as a waitress and take the tips? Absofuckinglutely not we’re fighting & I’m getting us both fired.

I knew of an inspector who got fired for dry-labbing his inspections, filing full inspection reports without ever leaving his house.

Never fired anyone or had the ability to, but witnessed some. I used to work at a pizza place with delivery. Car toppers were required. My manager needed to run to his car, and walking back noticed one of the drivers didn't have a topper on top, but in the bed of his truck. Manager starts speaking angrily under his breath and pulls the topper out of the bed and starts walking towards the store when he looks inside the truck. There's a dude sitting in the passenger seat and just says "sup." Manager says out loud "oh hell no" and stomps inside the store. I can hear him yelling at the kid (high schooler) and the kid crying back, as if a son and father arguing. The manager is super lenient, but the kid always pushed his buttons.

6:12 I feel compelled to partially defend the cashier. When I worked at Kroger there were a lot of times I had people with a cart overflowing with groceries hand me a stack of coupons saying "I think I have a few things in there".... then if the prices wasn't discounted enough they would complain, saying I hadn't scanned all of the coupons, or that we had lied with false advertising, demanding to speak with the manager, usually to only end up still paying, although there were a few cases where they would actually walk away, and we had to deal with a giant cart full of go-backs. But yeah, I can't defend just letting the walk out of the store with unpaid merchandise.

I remember my worst time I had to fire someone, he was an older man and I really got along with him but he made a few extremely dangerous choices and I couldn't keep him around. I had to watch a grown man cry and I still feel like.shit about it

It was an accident... We had a new hire who was training his first day. As a new manager my boss informed me of his progress then told me to pass that on and that he was done with todays training to send him home. "Hey, you did really well today, great progress. Do you know your next training day? Great, we're gonna go ahead and let you go now" Boss sends me back to let him know i hadn't just attempted the worst compliment sandwich ever!

Only time I really felt pleasure firing someone I was in management position at a Government Agency. Had this guy that was a real piece of work, an alcoholic who got drunk on the job, got violent, and spent most of the time sleeping. Well because this job was civil service and union on top of that it's nearly impossible to fire someone....nearly....but not impossible. I went through the entire process that took nearly two years of documenting, putting him on improvement plans, the Union even stepped in once when he was on the verge of being fired and got him a second chance if agreed to go to alcohol rehab, which he agreed to, but never went. Finally got all my ducks in a row, got permission from HR, even the Union steward was fed up and done defending him. Called him in and gave him his notice of termination, he just laughed and demanded to talk to the Union steward, called the Steward up he says, "Nothing I can do.". The reality finally hits the guy hard, he starts crying, begging for a second chance, asking to make it a voluntary quit as being fired would bar him from government service. No dice, paperwork has already gone through, nothing I could do at that point even if I wanted to (which I didn't).

so fucking funny that that one guy couldn't WAIT to be racist until at least his second day

This was with my cousin at my job. I work at a garden center in the market area he runs the greenhouse. We had a group of summer workers. They said they were going to take a smoke break. They would be gone at least 30 minutes doing what ever until they actually got bored of wandering around and talking with other departments. My cousin figured out what was going on and told me. He met them on the side of the building and offered them cigarettes and e-cigs. (all but two refused) the rest went back to playing with phones and bashing management. My cousin took off his coat turned around for the lighter made sure they could see his "Hydroponic Manager" on his shirt. They froze and he just gave the busted look. I went out played dumb he said they're just walking around doing nothing. He told them they're all fired. When they came back to me I said they were fired and they argues with me saying how dedicated they were and they can't get fired etc. I told them to leave or get dragged out. They all left angry or crying wondering why they all got fired. Me angrily telling them again *because you did nothing now leave. After that we got slot more accomplished.

I've never felt good firing anyone. I've fired folks with attendance problems or personality defects. I don't feel good about that because I don't wish them harm, I wish them to become better. I've fired people who've stolen from the till, or sexually harassed their fellow employees. I don't feel good about that because firing isn't anywhere near enough for them.

I didn’t do the firing, we started a new staff member that the boss was gushing about how good he was and really happy about having someone to help over the holiday period. He worked a week before I even got to meet him, the next weekend was supposed to be our first shifts together, the manager was still gushing over how good his work was. On the weekend another staff member turned up instead of this guy, I checked the schedule to find that his whole schedule had been crossed out. He had told the manager that he was taking two months off over Christmas, starting on the weekend (this was Thursday) because his mother had booked an overseas trip for the family. Manager told him that if he took the time off without approval that he would not have a job to return to.

I've been a store manager for a few big retail companies my worse firing was a guy who came back and went into my office while I was alone with two guns strapped to his chest and was hoping to intimidate me and ask for his job back Luckily nothing happened but it was a scary moment.

Walgreens one at like 6 minutes, there's no way I'd just leave if I was that customer. Imagine trying to convince the cops the lady behind the counter said it was ok for you to steal hundreds of dollars worth of stuff.

That one about the guy and his kid's fake ER trip. I would TOTALLY tell my wife my get-out-of-work lies. That's just a no-brainer

When you're too early for the good comments

The guy who was afraid of confrontation sure wasn't afraid to flip the guy off on his way out. Maybe that's just the thing he needed to get over that.

That first story is great. I wish more bosses were like that one. It seemed like they were literally risking life and limb for their employee.

I manage a staffing agency for child protection and disability. One of our client managers crashed their company car, then issued her resignation and I rocked up to work and she had left the car just destroyed in the work parking lot. Her resignation was for a months time. Needless to say I pulled her into the office and fired her effective immediately. She told no one and I didn't find the car for a good 3 hours and then my business partner said she is resigning and I wondered why. I found out 🤣🤣. The thing is with the amount of on road time they do we have a Fender bender every few months. The crash was not that bad but she thought leaving it for me to find was a good idea? Very weird and she was a strange women. K suspect she was drunk when she crashed the car but I had no proof. She stunk of booze when I fired her. She was trying to get out without paying the excess of the insurance claim....that's what she told me anyways. That's not how it works lol

Not my firing, but it’s a decent story anyway. Guy had just been promoted to a shift supervisor at my fast food job, 18 years old and right out of high school. He was a family friend of the Store Manager, but he was a good employee, decent kid, except he liked to drag race in his new car in his free hours. One night he tells us he’s blown out his tires racing and damaged the rims; needs full replacement. Pretty soon after we see he’s gotten his car fixed, and we assumed his parents paid. Until he gets caught on security cameras stealing over $5000 out of the safe. As a favour to his family our manager didn’t press charges, but he was canned very quickly.

They were going to train a new hire with felonies and obviously high to be a manager while ignoring a good employee. That's exactly how most businesses think lol.

Ooh! Had a friend senior year of high school help me get a job at a women’s clothing retailer near the school. I was there for maybe a month, and had an honor choir concert a week or so before Thanksgiving. Rehearsals were Thursday evening, all day Friday, and Saturday morning before the concert Saturday evening. My manager let me take the entire week off instead of making my schedule weird. I completely forgot they did staff meetings the third Sunday of every month, regardless of whether or not you worked that day. I got to school the Monday after, and said friend told me I was fired. I shrugged, and we went back to what we were doing. I went to talk to the manager after school, and she told me why I was fired. Shrugged again because she was actually a cool manager and didn’t come off like an asshole when telling me.

The friend story was kind of sad but I'm glad that didn't ruin their friendship

I never fired people myself but I know some "dramatic" incidents. At my work a girl (which was also my ex) got fired after bringing a crazy man to our workplace to attack me, he didnt only attack me (while she was screaming "beat him up") but also just random girls at my workplace in some rampage. She was fired the next day. Another one: my (at that time) wifes sisters boyfriend got fired because he just didnt show up on work, turned out that he was playing some videogame nonstop instead. Another one: one of my bosses at work was fired himself after calling himself in sick because of "backpain" but was spotted the same day on a funfair on various rides that day...

Only time my mom called into work for me i had swine flu and literally couldn't walk i was so weak. I was 16 and soooo embarrassed i couldn't stop coughing for 30 sec to call in sick. I can't imagine having my mom call and say i just decided to go on a road trip so i won't be there. Lol

My favorite was I had a co worker that I had never talk with before say my team sucks just like me. This were the first words ever spoken to me from him. I was slated to be in a manager position the next week but I was the only one that knew. The next week his eyes were the biggest I have ever seen someones eyes get as he noticed I am now his manager. In the weeks following I had caught him violating several policies. It takes 4 different write ups to fire someone. So it took about 2 months to finally get him gone. It's was my very first termination and felt good but also bad at the same time.

Working retail this older woman was hired as a supervisor with no retail experience. The entire management team had to hold her hand through the simplest of tasks because she had no experience. She also acted like a friend to the cashiers instead of a boss. I got reprimanded because she made a false statement that I called her friends (cashiers) ‘lazy’. Then she condescendingly asked I was ‘all right’ after the reprimand which let me know immediately it was her. Not long after she and her ‘friends’ were fired for theft and fraud. I asked the boss if my reprimand could be removed and he said of course because she obviously wanted me to leave them alone so they could steal. Good day. I should have asked if she was ‘all right’ when she was being walked out.

I had a new hire trainee who only showed up for 3 days out of a 2week training period. Felt good to tell him he didn't make the cut. I've got several stories along these lines.

"There's a lot of people getting fired with names starting with J..." Yeah, that's because in English, more names start with J than any other letter. My friend and I made a list once, we came up with about 40 names.

My company was fired by a patient. The patient was a nightmare, calling for all kinds of after hours visits when this person should have only had one a month, one of the patient’s “opening” had been surgically moved, which made it difficult to access to give care. The patient was upset that the on call refused to come to her home after a previous altercation. (Pt told her to never come back). I defended the on call person and the pt fired us. Boss called me and said “I don’t care what you did to tick the pt off but …thank you!”

They call me Quick Draw McGraw at work, but I feel bad about almost every firing. I have, however, fired a couple of people for stalking customers, perpetrating domestic violence at work, and a few other doozies. In middle management, you just savor the extremely rare opportunities to be a force for good.

On the coupon book thing. If the customer doesn’t have I to ready a cashier doesn’t care. Pay and get out. We shouldn’t have to go through your coupon book for YOU.

i feel like the one where the guy's car broke down, the dude could have just not called the supervisor lol? also it makes it seem like he didn't tell the manager WHY he couldn't make it, like just saying "his car broke down" would be a pretty good reason why someone couldn't make it on time

Ah, the girl at 19:00, having "Brown bottle flu" - I worked at a metal finishing plant in college (we made turbine blades for nuclear reactors) and two guys there were drinking buddies, meaning both would be "sick" at the same time. We always knew the REAL cause because of that, even without any social media (this was the late 70s).

Most satisfying "firing" I did was when I was walking up behind a very large co-worker approaching a staff half his size, punching his fist into his palm, ordering her to do part of his job. As he grabbed her, I reached up, grabbed his hair, and punched my thumb into his right eye as hard as I could, and dug and twisted, trying to sever his optic nerve. (I was not completely successful) We were on camera. I was fired, but he never worked in that field again. There was nothing courageous about what I did, but it was very satisfying.

I wonder if humans can get fired for talking about their encounters with me too much

14:00 when I worked at Burger King, a manager once tried to frame me for my drawer being short. Being new and gullible, I signed the write-ups well, the store manager and district manager suspected the manager of stealing money so deliberately made the safe over in terms of money. He fell for it and was fired the next day when the money came up missing.

I worked for an old gal who ran a very popular restaurant in my small town. There was a head cook that had been working there for 27 years. He pretty much ran the place. She caught him smoking a joint out back and calmly told him " hey, you can't do that here" he said "fuck you, bitch" and walked off throwing the whole establishment crazy. She was the sweetest gal ever and wasn't even giving him hell. She told me before she passed that there is still a thousand dollar check for him in the office. Who does that?

The cake party firing does indeed sound like the tastiest firing in this thread

I had one firing where I was happy to get rid of an employee. He was lazy, brought down morale with his work ethic and would call in or leave early if the night dragged on. So he finally had enough points to get rid of him. Had my paperwork ready and just needed HR to give the all clear. Found out the day he was getting his walking papers a supervisor from another shift told him he could file for fmla and save his job.

We had a manager at the store I work at that told workers his first day as a manager that he enjoyed firing people and they only give him a reason. He lost his job a few years later.

4:28 this is my greatest fear whenever I do freelance for a temp agency. This shit ought to be super fucking illegal. Luckily, the temp agency I got my current job through has a contract in place specifically to protect me. As long as I showed up and didn't drink on the job, I was entitled to that job. I wasn't entitled to being hired full time, but they could not just squeeze the life out of me and then chuck me out for any asinine reason.

I didn't fire anyone but I was talking to the manager when it happened. Manager walks up to me while starting at a text she got from a coworker. "X says they aren't coming in because they have an appointment with the DMV." I never heard of having an appointment with the dmv before, even if they did have one why were we just learning of it? But that wasn't the kicker. "Isn't it a national holiday today?" Reason we were so busy. "Shouldn't the DMV be closed?" I asked. Manager nods glad I picked up on the same thing. We look it up and yep the DMV is closed. Manager took a screenshot of the notice on the DMV site that stated the holiday closures and sent it to coworker a long with the message of "don't bother coming back unless you can provide me with something official and dated from the DMV after your appointment today." And yes they could've done that and my manager could've checked because the dmv was actually in a center up the block. They never came back. Saw them once about a month after it happened and we asked why they went with the DMV of all places given how easy it was to check.

Just recently: fired a security officer who was assigned to a secured, badge-access only facility because he had been bringing in his homeless friend that he didn't trust at home with his wife and kids. I oversee about 50 contracts so it's hard for me to check in on all of them all the time. I just happened to stop by that site one day for unrelated matters and the HR manager stopped me. HR Manager: "hey, who was that officer working last night with Barney?" Me, puzzled, because no one else was working last night: "let me go look at the CCTV." Less than ten minutes later I saw Barney leave the facility, go to his car that was off camera, and then come back with his friend in tow. He even went as far as dressing him up as one of our officers. Needless to say, I called him and asked him who that was, as he was WILDLY out of uniform. Barney: I guess I'm fired? Me: Yeah. Barney: When can I reapply? Me: You're going on the "do not rehire" list. Barney: Oh. How long does that last fore? Me: Please turn in your access badge and uniforms. Barney: Okay.

"Taking the kid to the ER" story, I had to laugh. My second date with my now-wife actually was taking her son to the ER after he dove off the bed and hit is head on the way down.

I live the way text to speech says "mwahahahaha"

Basically guy missed like 10 workdays In one month no call no show. His dad supposedly dies he was offered two weeks off to deal with the arrangements flat out refused to take them. Claimed he was insulted that we would think he needs them. Then didn’t show up for 5 weeks and tried to show up and act like nothing happened. Every day he missed I had to do his job and mine so I kind of hate this guy at this point so I tell him he’s fired he literally cries on his hands and knees and begs for his job super awkward. I say no boss says you are fired. He tried to use me as a reference like two weeks later told them how unreliable he is and we found out about a year later his dad was still alive also I think he sold all of our information to hotel telemarketers cause every employee started getting spammed with calls. If you read this Dustin get some help you nut job.

"firing people is really hard" I'm pretty sure it all depends on the person that's being fired

7:50 poor guy. Don't know anything about him but it sounds like something awful might have happened or is happening to him. Considering his reaction to being fired I'd like to think everything the company did for him, did in fact help him. 9:50 triggered her son's autism attacks?! Those aren't fun for the one having them, trust me I've been there, and they are scary+ they leave you with a massive emotional hangover

I am not a manager. But I witnessed a firing that made it quite acceptable that I lost my job as well. A very arrogant employee that believed himself above firing made it clear to all that a mass firing was coming. He said, "You lazy sponges better start worrying. Your jobs are in extreme danger. You did not make yourself indespensible, like I did." Many were very terrified of the upcoming mass firing. When the day came, a manager came in and started calling names. Joshua,"the indespensible employee," was on the first list, as was I. I was not an arrogant peace of fecal material like Joshua. I knew I could be fired and nobody is indespensible in any job at all. At the end of the calling of the first, rather large, list, the manager said, "Your position has been terminated with no chance of ever being returned. Your departments have been dessolved." Though I did lose my job, I went to my locker, very close to Joshua's locker and said to another coworker, "It looks like we made the bottom of the pile list. I knew we all suckled at the scum on the bottom of the bucket. There was nobody here that did not deserve to be fired long ago." The coworker got wise to what I was doing since she had to hear Joshua's doomsaying about how so many would be fired and he was indespensible." She laid it on thick also. She replied, "Oh, I knew my time was limited. Although, I do not suck as much as many others, the fire list was spot on. Everyone on this list was on borrowed time." She then looked straight at Joshua as he was looking at us and continued,"I have absolutely no idea how some of the more worthless employees made it this long. I can think of one that everyone hated, especially upper management." Joshua left holding back tears. The coworker, I was conversing with, and I left disappointed but laughing. It was oh so satisfying to watch Joshua treated like worthless garbage.

Son in the ER Story: I thought it was going to be the one where guy called off work because he had to take son to ER and was later seen on the Jumbotron at a local Sports Game Broadcast...

Reminds me of the story that Jordan Peterson told about his friend who was the firing man/contractor. How cutting the dead weight improves a company's performance...

The one and only time i had to fire someone. I worked taco bell, shift manager, and this new hire wasn't there long. A month, at most. But dear God, he at first used a big pocket knife as a work knife, and once told he couldn't use it, used throwing knives instead, like that was any better. Thats not what got him fired, though. One day, he was sitting with me on q break and started talking about how his now ex broke up with him because her mother made her. He then proceeded to tell me he was going to buy a handgun after work and SHOOT THE WOMANS TIRES OUT. Yeah. That was terrifying. I excused myself to the office (i was the MOD at the time) and called store manager. Sent the kid home on my managers request (tell him we Dont have anything else for hi n to do today) and had to completely shut the store down and lock up because he was now considered a dangerous threat, and we had to wait for cops to come. Definitely not the way you want a work day to go.

Wow, alot of J's.😆🤦‍♂️

Even though it got him fired, the Ninja Computer Wizard has my respect

Favorite firing? Wow. Ohh. I see now lol

One of the best quotes I heard from my job a few years ago: “The hands you refuse to shake on your way up will become the asses you will kiss on your way down.”

07:25 I feel the timid guy! I'm just like him or even worse...

I'm pretty sure the "ninja computer wizard" did something else very subtle but dropped the name change to cover the accessing. Probably living on that code now.

17:46 Here's the other story: "Remember J? Well Jeff I guess didn't have a bathroom in the RV. So he did his business in a five gallon bucket. We kept finding them on the property after we fired him. J found one, didn't know what was in it and went to throw it away. Now, we really didn't know what they were at this point. He goes to toss it in the dumpster and the lid came off. Coating J in shit and piss. I was right by him when the smell hit me. He starts puking, I start puking and I send him home for a long weekend. That wasn't just it though. He had loosened the lug nuts to the company truck. I did a pre trip on the truck Friday before I drove it. Locked it and came in Monday. Had to make a parts run and did another pre trip. Find the front tire's lugs were loose. Pry marks on the door to the shop. No cameras outside the shop, just on the front lot. So we called the cops and he was banned. He came back the next night and I was there. I had to call the cops and we were told to get a court order to keep him off. The cop said that right in front of him. I guess that got through to him and we didn't have a problem with him. I did see him about 5 years later in town and he came and shook my hand and apologized. After he left, I went to the bathroom and washed my hands for 3 minutes straight. The buckets man, they haunt me."

My roommate and I (this was 2002) were bus drivers with Laidlaw in Illinois. Our big company, and 3 other bus companies had all gathered to discuss safety policies and changes being made to drop off rules, IN GENEVA HIGH SCHOOL. My roommate, I’ll call him Juan. Juan had found a bottle rocket earlier that day, and brought it with. During a break, we’re at the water fountain, no one by us, and Juan lights the rocket. I walked quickly to the meeting so I’d be seen and have an alibi. Juan tried to play it off like nothing happened. There’s a lot of yelling and name calling, Juan is being a smartass. Meeting ends, I tell Juan he lost his job for sure, he says “no way. They can’t prove it!” Next morning our boss Kevin Smith (this was a black dude, nice guy, not the filmmaker 🙄😂)calls Juan into his office. He got fired. He was told he almost lost our bus Company a huuuuuuge contract. That was the best firing I witnessed

Lol at the 'buhahaha' in the Veronica story

I got lost and had to eat the pizza. CLASSIC!

My boss got fired this Friday for sexual harassment. He's always watched the female customers, not glance or catch a quick look, but actually stop and outright stare. I would tell him. "I'll be right back." Which is code name for me using the restroom. So he would ask me. "You have to potty?" Gross. Earlier on Friday I found out he had walked away from the department to follow a woman around for two minutes. Meanwhile he got mad at the coworkers working under him who stepped away from the department to use the restroom or help a customer. A customer had lodged a complaint against him. Originally I didn't know it was sexually harassment because the first I found out about the firing was through him to which he told me someone had lodged a complaint against him, he didn't tell me sexual harassment. After he left, I found he had written "MFer." All over everything. Thing is, he did make belittling comments to the female workers and we really did catch him following the female customers. Yet somehow he thought it wasn't right. We're all glad he's gone now.

Fired a lot of people over the years...first one when I was 19. Overall it isn't that bad. Usually its usually after working with them to approve or they do something extreme ...so its rarely a surprise.

When I was a young lad I worked as a minor manager in a big warehouse that did a lot of seasonal stuff so we would hire big rafts of newbies for busy seasons and then after things slowed down again the managers would all get together and decide who got the cut. That was the first time I've ever had to decide who gets fired and was the single most unpleasant and distasteful things I've ever had to do for work. I've avoided such situations ever since.

That timid guy who was so nervous he couldn't perform, but then flipped his manager the bird... I would've called him back into my office and asked, "whoa whoa whoa, where's that fire been? Use that in your job, and you're re-hired."

3:10 "There are a lot of people in this thread getting fired with the name j...I'm beginning to think it's all one guy." 🖨🖨🖨🖨🖨🖨🖨🖨🖨 Bet his resume resembles a box of old dot matrix paper. 🤣

Had a very strange guy I fired. Was a custodian at a large facility and was religious to the point of being a little scary. He would sit in the sun in a down jacket when it was hot as hell and would be in shirt sleeves when it was cold as heck...almost like he was punishing himself. Was thinking abt firing him but he worked like a dog. But one day one of his coworkers was loading some stuff into a truck and he jumped in the truck and drove off with the guy hanging on the back. Shortly after he was fired I read about him in the local paper. He had been hired as a pest control inspector and while inspecting inside the home attacked the lady homeowner. Fortunately her daughter was home and scared him off....he's on the offender website now.

Nobody anywhere has ever had to fire anyone. People fire themselves.

My boss was using his next door neighbor, who was the personal manager for a very old company, to hire his own people using their good name. After I got skipped over for lead of my own department, I quit and exposed it to the other company. In response, he tried to tax me for $4000 that I never got a check for.