First Time Hearing Lost by Linkin Park | Suicide Survivor Reacts 

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Just hearing the lyric "but I'm tired." Hit me hard cause you can hear the pain in his voice. RIP Chester

The song is full of pain. And the fact that it was recorded 13 years before Chester left gives me goosebumps.

Hardest part of this song is listening to the lyrics and remembering how he died it's heartbreaking

I was at their penultimate concert ever, in London. I went with a friend. In the end of the concert she was like "WOW Chester is SO energetic!!". My answer was: "actually. He wasn't as energetic as the other concerts I went to. Something felt off"... I sensed he wasn't alright. I wish I could have helped him.

When i first heard they released a new song i didn't know it was a unreleased song with chester. I wasn't ready and broke down when i heard his voice. They helped me get through my teen years and early adult life. Tragic that he never was able to escape the demons. He said in an interview that when he was alone, that was the worst time for him as he found it harder to ignore his demons. So hearing that in the song just hit so damn hard. I love that they put this song out so many of us who have been hurting from his death could hear that amazing voice once again on a " new " song.

“Listening to the voice of a ghost” is a good way to put it, and illuminates just one reason why this song has a haunting quality. The other is of course how Chester left this world. He always sang/screamed about his personal turmoil so well. But now that he’s gone, it just rings even more real, and much too real, than ever.

What’s both interesting and heartbreaking to me: we’re listening to a time capsule of emotions we felt 20 years ago, and are STILL feeling today. We’re hearing them in a filter of a friend who lost the battle that ALL of us are fighting. It kills me that Chester’s lyrics are consistently described as a “call for help.” They are only considered such because of hindsight. Because this is a friend, like Cornell, like Cobain, like Strnad and so many others, who have lost the battle we are all continuing to fight. “I try to keep this pain inside, but I will never be alright.” It’s a lyric that reminds me how, as of 2023, we are far more empathetic to this thought process, and can recontextualize it into something healthier; but when he wrote, performed, and felt it 20 years ago, we either couldn’t or didn’t. I also connect with his delivery of “But I’m tired.” When everything is said and done…I’m tired. There’s a yearning for understanding, for release and validation…but the world moves too slowly. I wish we could tell our friends how much they’re loved and supported and cared for before it’s too late…as much as I hope they listen…

This is so bitter sweet. It's such a great feeling to hear a new LP song, and be excited, and happy. But hearing that haunting voice, painful lyrics, and the memory that Chester is no longer here. It hurts. It's emotional. But it's beautiful

I’ve pretty much been listening this on repeat… not really, but a lot of times since it came out. It’s still giving me goosebumps… Linkin Park has always felt so relatable, even before I understood English. Once i was able to translate everything it was almost weird how relatable te lyrics actually are.

His pains went so deep and began at such a young age. That monster him that did those horrific things to him as a little boy, absolutely destroyed Chester’s entire life.

Hearing the pain in his voice, knowing what we know now.. it hurts so much... as someone who was also helped by LP and someone survived suicide myself thanks to my family intervening, this song hits me harder than I thought it would. The first time hearing it I was an emotional wreck and now that it's on my playlist and when it comes on.. I have to listen to it a few times because of how much it touches me emotionally and how much to this day I miss Chester RIP, I'm so happy they released this

This song hurts harder than past songs when I listen to them as it was unheard before his death. We all know he was begging for help he thought he was not getting and it ended him. This is more of the same and knowing that it ended him makes this hit differently! Especially when he said 'I'm tired'.....

I am a 14 year old boy and I have relatively severe anxiety and depression. I am on anxiety meds. Multiple times my depression has kept me awake which makes the feelings worse. Another thing is that my parents divorced in 2016 and before covid I was only seeing my dad ~15 days a year. Since covid though, he hasn't been able to visit so I haven't seen him in person since Jan 3 2020. Linkin park has really helped me and is still helping me through this time.

Lost is like taking one last walk with an old friend, knowing you'll never see him again.

This band has helped me through a rough time in my life and when Chester passed away it felt like I lost one of my family members and to this day every time I hear his voice I always break down and cry

Alot of us fans felt the pain and emotions of this song not everyone felt this way but alot have .🙏

I'm just seeing this reaction from you we can all tell that Chester was in pain from every single lyric of every single song. This song If it was released back when Meteora was released we could definitely tell and he could have probably gotten more help rest in peace Chester Bennington. Fantastic reaction

I honestly love this song, it's so good. I get tears in my eyes every time I hear it. It's a masterpiece

“I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.” ― Robin Williams

thank you for this. Chester touched many lives and saved so many as well. Hearing this unreleased song was like a gut punch and this 45 year old metalhead had tears welling up in my eyes. I started having panic attacks back in 2003 accompanied by severe anxiety and depression. Linkin Park literally saved me as well. Over the last 20 years, the panic attacks have gone for short times and I could actually function but most of the time, I've been home bound. Panic attacks set in if I leave my house and even hit me while I'm at home sometimes. I've always been a big car guy that loves to build and race so its really hard on me not to be able to do what I love anymore. I know what you mean about not seeing a way through things like this. I still don't, but I hope one day I will.

“I try to keep this pain inside but I will never be alright” That hurts. I just relapsed from my porn addiction and I can’t get this line out of my head. Sad part is my girl realizing all week I’ve been irritable all week but I still haven’t been brave enough to tell her till just this morning. I’m sorry I didn’t completely appreciate you Chester when you were here

This is the comment I made last week... It's difficult to hear the ghost of someone we loved so deeply, that lost their battle. Incredibly difficult. But you described it perfectly...we're holding hands to get through it. I always thought his music was a constant cry for help. Just the raw emotion of tracks like NUMB came from somewhere... within him. It wasn't 'just a song'....this track being released posthumously simply confirms what he was saying all those years. And the horrifying thought that some of us cannot overcome our demons, our nightmares and the worst experiences a child will endure....is frightening and more than a little disheartening. We must remember that WE ARE NOT ALONE. Sharing experiences like this will stir up some of the pain we felt when we lost Chester. It must also prompt us to TALK TO SOMEONE.

Amanda, thank you. You helped me with your words. You soothed the wounds & you are a fellow LP original soldier as well. I'm glad to have - accidently pumped into your channel. I wish you well 💜

When he said "lost all my dignity" refers to him being disgustingly abused as a kid by family relative. 😔

This song was released days before the 5 year anniversary of my best friend taking his own life. I still can’t get through the song without breaking down. It’s like I hear both him and Chester in this song every time I hear it.

This song is sooooo DEEP .... Long time LP fan and I can't see this video without tearing up .... This song is Heartbreaking and Amazing at the same time ..... RIP CHESTER!!

A song, the poetry of which is an example of the worst of the worst self-talk, wrapped in such gorgeous driving music

" You can make your future self so amazing that any of your mistakes are just going to pale in comparison" -these are one of the most incredible words I have ever heard, thank you from the bottom of my heart, I really needed it to hear❤

Listening to this song will never stop hurting, no matter how many times I hear it. Even through all of January I've come to listen to it on so, so many occasions. I'm thankful to Linkin Park for keeping me here, and I always will be. Since Chester's passing it's like I've broken my heart a thousand times over and then had it put back together again, both actions done by this band and their songs. But the cracks are still there, and it's.. I don't know, I don't even think I have the right words for it all. I guess "thank you" is a good one, yet it's not enough. Still I'm going to say it. Thank you, Chester.

The signs were always there the pain you can hear in his voice was genuine that's why so many people were drawn to his music when the news broke out that he passed I was heart broken but not surprised.

I have been battling depression for most of my life. Linkin Park and Chester Bennington have always hit a chord within me. Chester's ability to emote the incredibly profound lyrics always hit me hard. It helped me feel that someone understood my struggle. Chester was an extremely talented musician who could make you feel something that you didn't think you could. Wish he was still here making incredible music!

I discovered Linkin Park in 2003 when I was 13 years old. I didn't always have it easy in my teenage years but this band made a lot of things more bearable for me. I also discovered my love for metal through Linkin Park. I could identify less and less with the band after the Minutes to Midnight era, but I will always be grateful for their music. It sounds strange, but Chester, Mike, Joe, Rob, Dave and Brad will always have a special place in my heart for what they have done for me and so many others.

Lost is a Very emotional song. Especially for LP fans as well as all the Survivors. The music video alone should win awards.

The "But I'm tired.." lyrics hit me so hard everytime I listen to this. Cause I know exactly how that feels and how relatable this song is in general. I miss Chester so much and this song is just amazing in every way possible. So glad this was released.

As you can see with your channel, you are never alone! Mental health is real and will always be taken serious thanks in part to people like Chester and survivors like yourself! Keep living your best life, so glad to see you win your battle over yourself! This is not an easy battle and many do not win, so its great to see hope is there! Thank you for doing what you do to bring Mental Health to the forefront much like Chester has done with his music! RIP Chester you may be gone but you will live forever in the hearts of the millions you have touched and will continue to touch! Music is what connects us all!

Thank you for this reaction. I have been binge watching reactions to this song and I think I was waiting for someone to connect to it in the way I have, knowing all of Chester's past (at least what he spoke about in interviews, and Mike and he wrote in their lyrics) and sharing so much of those thoughts and feelings. Sincere thanks

Don't watch the LP video, watch her face and you will see the emotion. Keep it positive bab, you are an inspiration to these young kids. You are beautiful.

Man this song I love Linkin Park chester got me through the absolute darkest time of my life ik they have for a lot of u guys to RIP Chester

Knowing it was just a moment, a night alone, and thats all it took... I couldn't listen to Chris Cornell or Linkin Park for almost 5 years without sobbing. Truly an amazing soul and I feel for his friends and family and the guilt of "what could I have done? In that moment?"

This man's voice basically defines my childhood, maybe even my whole life up through college. Losing him 2 months after graduation felt like losing a close friend. I had much the same reaction when I first heard the song. It was very odd to get to hear his voice again. It was at the same time comforting yet sad. RIP Chester, we miss you.

As someone who had struggled with their mental health for over a decade, linkin park REALLY helped me through. However, listening to Lost, made me go back to their other albums and being as young as I was, I didn’t understand that a lot of their stuff was a cry for help, or something that should have made us think something was up

Sorry if someone already said this already, but watching you press the headphones into your head, trying to drown out the world and lose yourself in the song was ...... amazing to watch. As with millions of others, LP got me through many an anger-filled day and tear-filled night. Seeing your reaction..... just.... yes. I get it. Thank you.

After months...this song still sends tears... In dark minds, the mind is easily broken by recognizable lines. Love your show, even youtube didn't show you for a long time in my feed.

When I loaded Lost up to listen for the first time back when it came out, I thought I was ready. I knew the general vibe cause I read the interview with Mike Shinoda and I knew that it was from the Meteora era, and that it had been slated to play after Numb, but the band felt the album was heavy enough and decided to keep it off. I knew it was going to hurt. And I held it together pretty well. Until the 2nd verse when he says "But I'm tired" and his voice breaks a little bit. And the tears started welling up. And then when it got to the bridge and he says "I tried to keep this pain inside, but I will never be alright" I stopped the song and broke down. I love this song so much, but it hurts to listen to it.

Been awhile. I'm glad you're so close to 50k subs!!!!!

Hey Amanda, It's Rob hun. Just catching up on some of your past videos. Always nice to see your beautiful face and hear your calming voice. Just want to share alittle about myself. As a child I grew up in foster homes and group homes. And I was in & out of mental hospitals. And my wife Katie passed away in 2012 from a form of muscular dystrophy. Long story short her family turned out to be the family I wished I'd always have. Thank you sweety for the advice you give and the stories you have shared. Now & always, much love, Rob❤

My reaction to this song was the exact same…. Chester and Linkin Park meant so much to me. Losing him broke me knowing I’d never hear a new song with his voice… Getting this some was a blessing that broke me

Out of all the reactions of this song i have seen, yours was the one i was looking forward to the most.

Hearing Chester's Voice Again Is A Soul Punch Great Chester Will Never Be Forgotten!

When I see your reaction to Chester’s voice, I’d like to be there, hug you and say “Yes, I know, it hurts. That’s why it helps..” LP are not just a band, it’s way more, but not everyone understands.. If I could make a wish, I’d love if everyone could feel and understand how deep gheir music is. Big hugs Amanda 😘

Such a raw emotional reaction. I'm in..... subscribed!!!!

It's just so beautiful and heartbreaking. Especially the accompanying video. ❤️

Chester is one I'll never get over , this band was the closest thing to therapy as a depressed kid in a world that doesn't believe in mental health. R.I.P Chester Bennington.

I remember feeling excited to see this "new" song by LP pop up on my Spotify when i got in my car and I was actually with my lil sis which attempted suicide once herself. And halfway through the song i just had to stop the car and look at my sis and seeing i wasn't the only one with teary eyes. We paused for a sec and decided to continue listening to the song. The emotions we felt throughout the rest of the song were bittersweet. On one hand the music arrangements, the classic feel, Chesters voice, was just amazing and would put a quick smile on my face. Then on the other hand you can hear in his voice the pain, the same pain my sis went through and feeling how they both went into this dark lonely place, their inner voice screaming...which is what i hear throughout the chorus every time he yelled "LOST!", i actually hear "HELP!!!" I know the trauma his family and friends went through after his passing, as i still feel mine a year later after literally saving my sister from the darkness she had fallen into. I didn't know others had reacted the same way we did a month ago, it just goes to show we are not alone in this, mental health not only affects the person who has it but also those that surround them. Thanks for sharing this reaction...God bless

Young lady.... wishing you happy trails, warm sunshine, and godspeed.

Linkin Park: Hybrid Theory, Meteora, Minutes to Midnight, and finally A Thousand Suns; those were the only albums I ever purchased in my life, because Linkin Park has always been my favorite. The way Chester sings, with such pure emotion, and what he sings about, these songs were my escape after my dad died when I was 16, then my Grandma a year later, and I was forced to move back in with my mom and her abusive husband. When Chester killed himself, it absolutely devastated me, and I tear up every time any of their songs plays. 2 months ago, the woman I've been with for 12 years, and married for 8, left me to be with her ex. She moved back home, and now I am completely and utterly alone, thousands of miles from anyone I know, so when this song came out, given the situation I am in, it hit me so hard. I get why he did it now. Robin Williams as well. Caring about people and wanting to bring joy to the world, means that you take the pain from others because you think you can shoulder that weight. You try to make others happy, try to make them smile, or laugh, or just not feel like shit, and it takes a toll on your heart. Great men like them pour absolutely everything into others, leaving nothing for themselves. I miss you Chester.

It does hit hard when you realise that Chester isn't with us! I have always found LP a release from my depression but this really hit me hard and left me struggling. I am in a safe place with family.

Hearing His Voice Again Hurt's So Much Than Everything 😢 NOVEMBER 10, 2023

One of Chester's last belts, at 2:36 in the music vid (6:50 in your vid) sounded like he was screaming from inside. It broke my heart to hear his pain.

loved your reaction, thank you for sharing, i really loved this song and i cried a lot feeling every word, greetings

That part where you say you don't know where to pause, that frame u stopped the video on is the exact frame of Chester in the "breaking the habit" video, then it shows him falling into the abyss....i miss him so much, Linkin Park helped teach me things my dad never did, when nobody was around for help their music made the emptiness bearable. Chester had a past exactly like mine and when I found that out i understood why i understand and relate to the feelings he wrote about. It helped me see things i couldn't or didn't want to see. Hearing him on a song nobody has heard is really heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I just hope he isn't hurting anymore. I was waiting to see whether or not you would make a reaction video to this song. LLCB, LLLP, sending so much love to everyone, everywhere. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Don't get lost in the bad memories, try to stay in the good ones.

Just found your channel. Wish I found it sooner just seeing you were your emotions on your face makes me feel better

HI Amanda love from Ireland, great reaction again ❤

Chester sung like an angel but screamed like a demon R.I.P he was amazingly fantastic and amazing

2:32 is exactly how I felt it was surreal to hear his voice so long after his passing

I cry every time I listen to this song. You can just hear his pain and sadness in his voice 😢

Chester was my Idol 🥺 I have also Depressions 😌 He helped Me to be motivated 💪🏻 I also was crying, when He sing "But I'm tired" 😭😭😭 I became Cancer last Year with "only" 31 and my Dog passed away, few Days before my Chemotherapy 😥 It was such a hard Time fore Me, but I never give up, to fight the Fight between Me and my Depressions 💪🏻

Chester waa so special this amd his other music continues to be light for those of us in a dark place😊

Love this reaction and breakdown 💙💯

That expression you made the second the chorus started. That right there. That's the expression. I'm still never ready to hear it and it hits every single time. Man

I heard this song for the first time like 2 weeks ago and my god it's so good but it's so dark and sad but i know that feeling. It still feels crazy how all of chesters songs were like this but i just never saw it until he was gone. I always just jammed out to linkin parks songs

It’s stuff like this that kept me going while growing up with depression, it’s crazy how music helps and understand you more , if I didn’t find heavy metal back then in my teens I honestly wouldn’t be here now at 27, idk what childhood trauma or depression effects with me being an adult now I just know that I don’t feel like the way I did before cus I got so used to just living with it

Thank you for listening to this and talking about mental health this way. as someone who works in crisis intervention and suicide prevention: We need to get past these stigmas.

Linkin Park has always been my comfort band, to know that im not alone in my darkest moments. After Chester passed in 2017, it was two weeks before my 18th birthday, should have been the best time of my life but it was the worst. No other death had hit me so hard in my life before. After feeling that pain of loss from suicide, i never thought about it again cause i didnt want anyone to feel like that because of me. Then covid hit, times got tougher. And in 2020 i lost one of my closest family members, my grandpa, to suicide. It all came back again. Same pain but much much greater. Now 3 years later and it still hits me like bullet from time to time, but im trying my best to be okay. What brings me comfort, is that they're both in a better place

Hey Amanda. Love your reactions and your message to those of us who are struggling with depression. I was hoping you could do a reaction on the Disturbed song, "The Light" it helps me daily listening to it and puts my mind at ease. It has a great positive message. Thank you for all you do.

Ive only recently come across this song,also why am i not getting notications for your channel? smacks youtube, but love this song so much. Ive recently be dignosed with DID and so feel this for timmy.

@Mental Amanda, thank you for having the courage to openly speak about your struggles with addiction and emotional and mental health issues. It takes real courage to openly speak about these issues. I'll be celebrating 23 months clean and sober on the 17th, which is St. Patrick's Day, ironically.

So sad...Such a wonderful singer and band, sadly missed is an understatement....So glad I saw them live , just the once but an amazing night...RIP Chester....

Didn't have the opportunity to see then live or meet them. But the thing about linkin park and Chester is you didn't need to meet him to see the big heart he had for people. His music helped so many people alone. His music definitely helped me and a whole generation. R.I.P to the GOAT!

This song almost made me cry. It’s hard not to cry. I can’t wait for the 20th anniversary of Meteora. Chester would be proud. 🥹 Thanks for reacting to this Amanda. Stay safe. Edit: seems like yesterday, that this was all over the news that Chester committed suicide. Edit2: also seems like yesterday, since I first started listening to Linkin park , back in 2007

So amazing to hearChester again and so incredibly painful. I'm so afraid knowing how hard Chester fought through his life and how many bright lights he had in his life and he still couldn't win the fight... I am so afraid.

Hey been awhile hearing his voice not only brought back nostalgia but it also brought back times of darkness but this band has been my light and has saved my life when I was younger

I have a lot of trouble listening to this song. I've dealt with really bad bouts of depression in the past, but just hearing those lyrics really hit me. Earlier this year, I was listening to a lot of Linkin Park and while I've heard them before, I was listening to the first two albums a lot in a really rough time of my life and I found myself relating to some of their lyrics. It was so weird to me and it was comforting in a way. I see why a lot of fans credit their music for saving their life. Their music is cathartic as hell. Music can be incredibly therapeutic. Rest easy, Chester. Edit: if you haven't already, I highly recommend you check out The Messenger from LP's A Thousand Suns album. It was one of those songs I heard during that period early this year and it legitimately felt like a hug in a song.

Love your reaction. It's right hearing chester again it's like seeing a ghost telling you how he felt and gets deep in our soul. Also saw your video lullaby from nickelback and loved it too. The song savin' me it's also incredible. I think you would like it. That one and remember when from bad wolves

Hi and sorry for bothering. I know that I've never reacted or commented on any of your videos so far. Don't get me wrong please, you are doing a great job and I'm very happy to see that someone, somewhere it's trying to help as much as possible. I just wanted to let you know that I really appreciate your work and your dedication. I'm from far enough away so some "things" are totally different then what I experience but regardless of that you are doing a great job. Congratulations and keep going 🤗 Marian Craiu (Romania)

There were so many times Cheater was reaching out for help but everyone thought it was just music

Linkin Park was my main band for my own mental health support/emotional release etc., after chester I thought I would never find another as helpful, and although I did (citizen soldier, your first reaction to them was spot on) I was also very excited to hear this "new" song. It is definitely another good one.

Chester gave a voice to the experiences of a generation. LP made us feel as if we were not alone. It will always break my heart that Chester lost his fight as he did. He touched and saved so many... I weep that the world or the fates didn't do the same for him.

Thank you for shareing the reaction and expierience with us. Stay Strong. Excuse , my hopefully , not so bad english

Great song. Great reaction.

"but I'm tired' hit every single person watching this video.

There is another song also called "'Fighting Myself'' that came out with the new 20 year box set its just as good 🥰

"But I'm tired, I will always be afraid..." 😭😭😭

His voice saved countless.

i was listening to final masquerade that day

The song „Easier to run“ is also very deep song!

You can check out all the numerous demos LP has released throughout the years as well to Underground, as well as their pre-HT stuff, many are available on RU-vid

I REALLY wish this song was released back then cause if ever there was a song that was a total cry for help it was this one and maybe we could've gotten Chester the help he needed RIP Chester Bennington u were a legend and always will be we miss u and love u

Just started watching your videos. It’s good to see someone understands pain and can see how others feel. 🙂 Where can we recommend songs?