Poitín is an ancient Irish white spirit invented on Halley's Comet. The comet was invented in Mayo a largely defunct wilderness of weirdos who drink like fuck and talk shight. The Capital of Mayo is Mayo City. It is stipulated on the Dublin road. All roads lead to Dublin, where knackers were invented. There is a significant Dalmatian population of 101. One of which has led to much consternation after traffic restrictions were placed near the Cross Molina by pass due as a Croatian refugees deafness led to a public demonstration demonising the truth about Douglas de Hyde being an Applebastard. He was the first member of Eaglais na hEireann to announce that Castlebar was more of a kip than Mayo City instigating an investigation by a literary society to establish why every piece of Irish Language fictional writing, since Shakespeare was invented, was burnt in a bonfire outside Newport by the Viper, a West Brit pirate, who is addicted to telling jokes and taking the piss, a tragic case of a Yorkshireman being more Oirish than a shower of chunts could ever be. Mayo believes that contraception was invented by the devil to stop hairdressers from riding intercounty footballers causing, the condom vending machine in the Nighclub in Mayo City was confiscated by native no abodes, who believed that the country people had better just "fuggin goan bout whaeva da want te te fuckin do like" before erupting into hysterical laughter and walking away looking for something else to stroke. Strokestown is famous for inventing theft in the Mayo area , not Swinford, that is a bigger phucking lie than half of those lies told about the bricklayer who wears the long socks. Irish was invented by a radical from Castlerea before inventing a story about Graine Mhaoel being a clever disguise for Henry V8's daughter. The best chipper is in Coillte Mach. The chainsaw was invented there to facilitate a Christmas Tree development programme, invented by an Eedude ambushed by RTE in a slur campaign alleging he worked in Beirut and that his daughter was riding a Gard. This was why the word Culchie was invented by Lord Exeter, to describe local hairdressers getting pregnant due to the lack of Johnnies around the town after the vending machine was stolen. Look it up , it is all there in Red and Green.Mayo is famous for recognising that until Halley's comet has interrupted the Lunar cycle, by passing its moon dust into a Holywell near the border with the Rossers, that some poor phucker from the 1951 All Ireland winning team is condemned to being cajoled into thinking that he should maybe think about kicking the bucket to give the rest of the pub talking nobodies, than inhabit the entire joke of a kip of county, to stop sounding so thick and pissing on the streets of Dublin on their annual pilgrimage there to see if the Mayo Soccer team can finally hoax the hex cursed upon them by a shower a chunts who smoke fags eating Loop de Loops, shooting pool listening to Meat Loaf. Ciaran McDonald was the best footballer to ever drop blocks. He had it tough. Imagine having to imirt pelé doing an impression of Emmanuel Petit. Forced to play entire games with his socks pulled up to his knees, after losing a dare to get half the county pregnant. He was banned from getting his hair cut.
The term " only a shower a greedy chunts ". was invented by people who attend cattle markets and think that Mayo Lamb is a delicacy. Believe you me the only delicacy the whole county has earnt the right to claim ownership of is the price of 99's in the carpark at K2 mountain which overlooks Clew Bay. Clew bay looks like a gorgeous natural congregation of Drumlins floating on water. It is an interesting geographical feature which only the Septic tanks seem to appreciate.
Curses or hex's are complete humdrum excuses for what has happened since 1951. The reason Sam hasn't made the trip is because of the magnet repulsion generated by Halley's comet.
Everything I have just written is total shight. Except for the bit about pissing on the street and their hair dressing workforce having mouths like hoovers. West Life are shight . Gang of fairies There is always next year lads. Mary O'Rourke is great craic. Knock is a real thing. It is where I speak to her and she speaks to me. She moves in mysterious ways, a bit like Ciaran McDonald floatin around the 45, as graceful as the last Gondola on the river Moy.
If anyone reading takes the hump, I have arranged for straighteners to be held every Sunday at dawn on the roundabout in Mayo City. See yiz there. Gráinne being Queen Lizzie, it is a fact. Westlife are brutal. , I know what a bog hole is. They are pure bog hole.Jimmy White Syndrome. Ask the hairdressers, they are so gifted with local knowledge. They have put in the time and effort, some of them had their backs near broken in the process. I am cheering for Armagh btw. See you at the roundabout. Thanks Bobby, we are nearly there.
7 окт 2024
