Forgiveness is Not the Same as Reconciliation

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Have you ever heard the expression, ‘To err is human; to forgive, divine?’ Surprisingly this well-known phrase does not come from the Bible but a poem by the English poet Alexander Pope.
Today, Fr. Mike shares some great insights into the process of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration and how God offers all three stages to us in the Sacrament of Confession.
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Опубликовано:

4 янв 2022

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Комментарии : 401

@MariaPullatt 2 года назад

One time a Priest told me "Loving someone doesn't always mean you have to like them." Changed my life.

@Patrizia4Christ 6 месяцев назад

I know! So true!!! 😀

@lavenderlatte96 Месяц назад

Beautifully said 🙏

@michelelewis5666 2 года назад

Here is a prayer to start the process of forgiveness: “Dear Lord, I know I need to forgive this person, but I don’t want to. Please help me.” Believe me, he WILL help!

@lydiapicano8806 5 месяцев назад

Thank you, I needed to hear that. ❤

@thinkingchristian 2 месяца назад

I can see why Jesus tells us to pray for others - It’s so hard to hold resentment towards someone while praying for them. Sometimes, like you, I need to pray to get in the right mindset to be able to pray for them. It really helps

@BlindFaith777 2 года назад

What Forgiveness has become for me is: 1. Recognition that I’ve been hurt 2. Letting the person know they’ve hurt me. 3. Deciding if I can carry on with the relationship. Once someone has shown me their true colors and it becomes clear that they will not, can not change, I have every right to stop contact with them or alter the amount of contact with them. 4. Each time the hurt of the person that has wronged me haunts me, I pray for them. I also pray for forgiveness of any wrong I’ve done towards anyone, ever. Some people (like family members) I practice cordial contact with. I keep them at arms length, I’m kind, I’m cordial but I don’t keep close relations with them as I’m very aware of what they are capable of should I allow them back into my life on a closer level.

@mrss4278 2 года назад

How does this work with a spouse and/adult children?

@pop6997 2 года назад

It really highlights just how difficult it is to, love & bless your enemies. It's so hard...I'm 'practicing'...lol... But, if we really really think on Jesus asking and demonstrating this radical way of life....well I think some of us don't like thinking too much. The cost of this is so big.. How many actually pray for our enemies? Yikes!

@Alex-rl6ww 2 года назад

What happens if that person is a family member

@kornido7997 2 года назад

@@Alex-rl6ww @MrsS Many of us have family members we struggle to forgive but need to forgive. Wow, that's especially tough when it's a spouse or child (especially adult children). We must always aim to act with love (charity). Sometimes loving someone means to cut that relationship for some time or indefinitely because to continue the relationship is not good for you nor the other person repeatedly hurting you. (And love is willing goodness for the other. ) Sometimes justice means your perpetrator must face the fact that you're ending this relationshp for good. And justice is an act of love because it gives the person who did wrong the opportunity to learn and get better. We pray all acts of justice bear fruit.

@monicateleckisobolewski5844 2 года назад

Be careful with your last paragraph. For me seems like judgment. Who are we to judge??

@TheFinalFifty 2 года назад

While I initially thought that this came at the exact wrong time, as I'm in a process of hoping and trusting God to reconcile and restore a broken relationship, this came at just the right time. The exact, right time. His timing is perfect and he is so good.

@dianacarolinasantacruzruiz8725 2 года назад

The just same just happened to me now...this came exactly when I needed it 💛

@jesusgirl3256 2 года назад

Me too

@woofytwoshoes7711 2 года назад

Isn’t Gods timing amazing? 🤩🙏🏻

@craftncrochet9905 2 года назад

Me too

@Aggie-zs1qi 2 года назад

Ditto - this video and message came at the exact time I needed it. This has been a challenging week. I’m on the other end and had to ask for forgiveness. I hope one day that restoration of a friendship will come to fruition. In the meantime reconciliation for me and lots and lots of prayer. God is so so good! His mercy endures forever! Viva Christo Rey!

@naturenut4550 2 года назад

Good one! I thought being Catholic meant I had to keep turning the other cheek and be a doormat. Always forgiving and getting walked on. This is the first time I heard about reconciliation and not exactly trusting another who has deeply offended until they earn it back.

@BlindFaith777 2 года назад

I did as well until I was 44 years old. Then I heard a wonderful homily at mass that essentially sent the same message as what Fr. Mike is saying. I was raised by a wonderful and loving mom. However, she demonstrated that we must turn the other cheek and continue allowing people to abuse us. She finally did stand up after 30 years of marriage and divorce my abusive father. However, she left him but continued to encourage me to care for him and have a relationship with him as he was my father. I did the best I could but at one point, I realized it was inappropriate for her to have removed herself from his abuse but encouraged her children to continue having a relationship with him. She was only human as we all are but her encouragement to maintain a relationship that was abusive was wrong and misguided.

@wms72 2 года назад

So did I! It actually stopped me from evangelizing someone, because I didn't want to see him "turn the other cheek."

@naturenut4550 2 года назад

@@BlindFaith777 Something must happen during that decade because I’m learning all this in my 40’s too.

@naturenut4550 2 года назад

@@BlindFaith777 Funny you should say that about your mom because I’m in the same boat. How long does one stay in an abusive relationship and suffer for the sake of religion? Being Catholic often meant the lines for boundaries was blurred because we are supposed to be kind and forgiving. After a while, I realized that while we are to forgive, I don’t think God intends us to repeatedly suffer at the hand of someone else who doesn’t want to do their part. And what does it say about those who keep turning the other cheek and not standing up for themselves?

@Gangari_the_Wanderer 2 года назад

Not only that, but forgiveness is only possible if the person actually repents of the wrong they did to you. Meaning, they recognize what they did to you, apologize for it, and offer some sort of intention to not do it again. We're expected to do the exact same thing when we go to confession. I've heard it said that if it were possible to say that God could not forgive a sin, it would be the sin you are not sorry for. And God is infinite in His ability to forgive--we're not. The most you can do is be ready and willing to forgive someone if and when they repent of the wrong they did you. Even God merely OFFERS forgiveness to us--we aren't ACTUALLY forgiven until we actively ACCEPT that forgiveness by repenting.

@Autobotmatt428 2 года назад

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things someone can do.

@MinnowCreekGirl 2 года назад

Yes it is and it's also very healing once you forgive.

@hollywoodbelongstosatan6557 Год назад

@Gabo H true

@gloriamacias2180 Год назад

Not if love is involved.

@marypinakat8594 2 года назад

*"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the Violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."* - MARK TWAIN

@BlindFaith777 2 года назад

Beautiful, I’ve never heard that.

@marypinakat8594 2 года назад

@@BlindFaith777 Thanks for your beautiful Presence☆ Stay blessed as always☆☆☆☆☆

@docpyc 2 года назад

🥰

@monicachavira4910 Год назад

Wow, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing

@marypinakat8594 Год назад

@@docpyc Just to say you are sincerely appreciated for your valuable presence☆

@Kristinemay29 2 года назад

Wow I really needed to hear this. For so long I struggled because I wanted to forgive those who hurt me (family members) but I also felt guilty for wanting to stay away from them. I thought to forgive means I should be able to let go and just ignore the hurt they caused. Now I'm relieved to know that I don't have to keep trusting them if all they do is ruin that trust and take advantage of my kindness. I'll pray for them though, and for us to possibly have restoration in the future.

@eleonoradf3395 11 месяцев назад

Same for me❤

@Bazerkly 2 года назад

"Always Forgive but Never, Ever Forget"

@r.d.durfey5862 Год назад

I have done as you said, and slowly let them back into my life. Only to have the same things happen again. I'm not mad...I forgive them completely. But unless I want to be hurt over and over...never being able to measure up, to what they expect of me. I have had to say enough. I'm sorry but you can no longer be a part of my life. I'm just done. There is so much more I would like to spill out, but talking to others about how I feel....about what has happened. Is not good to share. So I have slowly learned to let it go.

@rosyreverie 2 года назад

I needed this. It’s the first time I’ve heard that forgiveness doesn’t get rid of the hurt and the pain. I’ve always felt like in order to forgive I needed to ignore the pain that others have caused me. I can forgive, but they no longer have my trust.

@catherineo8689 Год назад

Doesn't that mean that when someone does something you don't like (hurts you) you must end the relationship? It's pretty hard to have one without trust. I do agree trust needs to be rebuilt; it should not just be given away endlessly. But forgiving your neighbor 7 times 70 times implies you trust that person enough to repeatedly give them chances.

@creativechristiancontent Год назад

@@catherineo8689 Forgiveness is purely based on the fact that we should forgive (70x7) and it’s not felling based. Trust or don’t trust forgiveness in not dependant of trust they are separate

@DWallization 2 года назад

Jesus' restoration of us after we do confession is absolutely worthy of Fr. Mike's praise, but it is also very convicting. This whole video I was thinking about how tragic it is whenever you've injured a relationship to the point that restoration takes years and trust is severed. Then he hit me with what Jesus does for us every time we go to reconciliation. We are truly not worthy for Him to enter under our roof.

@AbsurdScandal 2 года назад

Don't be afraid, as Christ said to Peter! The very reason we are supposed to forgive is out of love (and because He forgives us,) which means we consider the other person worth forgiving - gifts are by definition undeserved yet we give them because we value the other person and consider him worth gifting! Though we certainly don't deserve God's forgiveness, He considers us worth forgiving and even reconciling with Him, so we are certainly valuable to Him! Our undeservingness and lack of merit shows how much we're loved!

@ShadowKing1993 Год назад

It’s ok to forgive someone but not want to reconcile with them. Especially if they continue doing the wrong things to you over and over again. To me forgiveness is when you’re no longer concerned or feeling hatred toward that person. Letting go is part of forgiving.

@Ark-co1zq 3 месяца назад

I Agree

@angrypotato_fz 2 года назад

Thank you, Father Mike. I never tought about counting the debt first. Forgiveness rooted in justice, that's wise.

@uncleRek 2 года назад

Matthew Kelly: "...the more you love someone and the more that person hurts you, the harder it is to forgive." "...it is my need to forgive not the others person's need to be forgiven." Also, thanks Fr. Mike this video taught me I had reconciliation backwards.

@Gravitywalker20 Год назад

Good and wise video from Fr. Mike. I've also found that a huge part of the process of reconciling is that the person who hurt or wronged you MUST be repenting as well. It is impossible to reconcile without repentance.

@daztan1101 2 года назад

Blessings from Colombia Fr. Mike 🇨🇴

@stevenmorgan6164 2 года назад

Thank you Father very helpful

@jasonx4590 2 года назад

I just got done with an awful 2 year relationship she lied ,cheated , psychologically abused and used me. Father I have so much rage and hate in my heart how do I get over it.

@sherrywhite1517 2 года назад

Go to confession. Keep going to confession as often as it takes. I once was in situation where I went everyday for three days---the priest said maybe I should move. I told him, the Lord wanted me there and I wasn't leaving but it wasn't easy. The Lord eventually helped to work it out. Several months later the person I'd had the trouble with died--we were at peace with each other. God is good!

@anamirta8035 Год назад

Love yourself

@goodone5590 2 месяца назад

Sorry buddy

@JAam430 Месяц назад

This where it gets tricky for me as well. You don’t have to forgive or forget this person, if you do they will abuse again. Maybe in time you will heal and forgiveness will come but don’t assume they have changed.

@filipkarwowski6510 2 года назад

Kindly friends in Christ, pray for my girlfriend (in particular) and myself

@mariebella1354 2 года назад

♥️

@giannarose6503 2 года назад

You got it!

@BlessedLifeLoveandFaith 2 года назад

I will.💛

@JMJ1219 2 года назад

Will do.

@sncnutrition7118 2 года назад

Flawless video

@JonSimon93 2 года назад

Just read this in my Holy Hour today! Thank you Fr. Mike for bringing more clarity and wisdom to the topic of forgiveness. It is truly one of the toughest things to do. I want Our Father to forgive me, so I keep trying.

@fr.jeremiahcaughran6191 2 года назад

Thanks for this. Excellent and wonderful explanation of this triad! I appreciate the aspect of understanding the actual debt and in essence, "adsorbing it into yourself" in forgiving someone, exactly as the ruler did with the indebted servant. Understanding that a few years ago utterly altered my approach to explaining forgiveness. The acknowledgement of the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation is absolutely needed. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation, let alone, restoration. All three take time for us humans. And it might only be forgiveness that gets accomplished in this lifetime. However, with God all three take place, more or less, simultaneously, because he has fully understood the debt we owe and dealt with it through Jesus so that all of this can be extended to us to bring us back to himself. Again, thanks for all of this!

@HyruleDude 2 года назад

For me, forgiveness is not letting a wrong cause you to wish any harm to the person at all. Aside from that, leaving , letting go and walking away are all ok and Does not negate forgiving a person of their wrong. So, always wish the best, and be ok with any blessings a person gets who does you wrong, but feel free to remove them from your life and sometimes, you should.

@millier9658 2 года назад

Such an important topic. I have really battled with this since I have an unloving and simply toxic mother. Yes, my Christian heart wants to forgive, but I also realise that I don’t have to necessarily reconcile and forget the pain and hurt this person (hard when it’s your own mother) has caused me.

@catherineo8689 Год назад

I think there is not only difficulty in forgiving what was done, but mourning the true loss there, too -- the mother you should have had, and deserved as any child does, and didn't get.

@ay9063 2 года назад

Thank you Fr. Mike for this message.This came right on time!! Forgiveness-Reconciliation-Restoration. I loved the reconciliation analogy with the car it helped me understand the concept a lot deeper. I will continue to pray for healing with my family. If Jesus can forgive me and trust me so openly. I have to extend the grace to others. God Bless and Peace be with you Father.

@ld1z0n 2 года назад

This has come at the right time. I am finding it hard to forgive a situation and it constantly plays on my mind, even when it's been months now. It's hard not to think about it when they live right next door. I don't plan to talk to my neighbour, as that is my boundary - we do not need to be friends. I hope this is okay. I hope to one day reach forgiveness and not to be so angry about it, for my own wellbeing

@ld1z0n 2 года назад

@KAP_GIRL Oh no, it sounds like we're going through very similar things. I know I will never receive an apology from my neighbour as they think they're always right, so I feel like it's on me to try to move on which I'm finding hard to. I hope you can get the fresh start you deserve, with moving houses. I'd love to move but we just bought this house less than a year now, so I feel stuck. I love this house but not the situation. I will pray for you :) hope to hear back some day about hear how you are feeling.

@goodone5590 2 месяца назад

@@ld1z0nwhen my neighbor tries to bully i scare him with my voice cause its loud and i warn him, it works . you just got to stand up for oneself

@GuadalupeLopez-tz9df 23 дня назад

I pray my Mom sees this video and understands that I forgive my brother for what he did. I also forgive my siblings for not being supportive. This does not mean I have to be around those who have hurt me. Thank you so much for this video

@johns1834 2 года назад

Good stuff. Clearly goes beyond; "fool me once, shame on you, and fool me twice, shame on me" thinking. Thank you.

@jean6061 2 года назад

I forgave...and then learned something that needed forgiveness all over again...then another aspect came up and this requires forgiveness all over again. I'm struggling with the deep hurt this has caused, the deceitfulness, but I do recognize the value for all in forgiveness. It really helped to hear you say that reconciliation can happen or it need not. Initially, I thought I could work toward that but now I realize I need to protect myself more than I need to reconcile. Thank you, Fr. Mike.

@mirellaramirez691 2 года назад

Thank you Padre Mike for feeding the sheep! I feel so blessed on this Mexican Mother’s Day that Jesus, through Nuestra Señora Virgen de Guadalupe in Mexico, gave us His Mother as well as Himself, and the Blessed Holy Family❤️💕❤️💐. Tender words!

@christineradecki2786 2 года назад

I've had to do this with my son in law. Being able to trust again is imperative. I'm not at that point yet but I pray for God to continue to guide me. This is so helpful. God bless you Father Mike.

@nancyjohnson5483 2 месяца назад

I have been searching for an explanation, this covers it beautifully. Thank You.

@jasonvaello3568 10 месяцев назад

I definitely needed this. Thanks Father Mike

@simplyalexandra5241 Год назад

Thank you Father Mike. Beautiful words.

@stardustmkm7377 Год назад

Thank you Fr. Mike!

@ernestoguzman7195 2 года назад

Father Mile, thank you!!!!! I needed that!

@michaelavillanueva3562 2 года назад

Amen! What a beautiful way to put it. Thank you for this father.

@dakotaescher1 2 года назад

As always wonderful words of wisdom.

@KMC597 2 года назад

Beautifully said- thank you.

@AmyD 2 года назад

Thank you.🙏🏼❤️

@bekind6763 2 года назад

Fr. Mike, Thank you and God Bless!

@kjosemaria9373 2 года назад

This is absolutely rich, Fr Mike! God bless you!!!

@optango95 2 года назад

Beautiful words 🙏

@ryancarter5559 2 года назад

Wow! What a powerful message. I needed this.

@ethangunn7526 10 месяцев назад

Father Mike ❤🙌

@timeich8376 2 года назад

Once again, blown away.

@robertsandoval4699 2 года назад

Thank you Father Mike. You explain Forgiveness very well.

@mjLes18 2 года назад

Fr Mike thank you so much. God bless you.

@valentinafyorh7749 2 года назад

Thank youuu!! This was on my mind this week. Fr Mike you have clearly explained that it is OK to let go of certain individuals in your life but still forgiving them!

@taiscdias 2 года назад

It’s so beautiful how much God loves and trusts us. It makes me comfortable. Thank you for this video! 🙏🏼

@montanamornings8526 2 года назад

Another good video. Thank You. I know your not doing the Bible in a Year again but I have started it this year. Excited to get to it in the morning. Praying for you too Fr Mike

@dulcemariatovar9744 2 года назад

Oh my goodness, this was so beautiful. God bless you Father Mike! Greetings from St. Bernard’s Parish in CA!

@Patrizia4Christ 6 месяцев назад

Healing and wise words Brother Mike. 💖

@cleomanuel4459 2 года назад

This helps me a lot. It brings clarity to what I am going through. Thank you Fr. Mike. Thank God.😘🙏

@paulparsons1401 7 месяцев назад

Thank you father for sharing

@hksuperstar 2 года назад

Thanks for the reminder of what is forgiveness, Fr. Mike.

@mycatholicfaithlivingstone845 4 месяца назад

Thank you so much. I've been really struggling with this issue. Really helpful

@user-kr3li1mx7k 6 месяцев назад

These have been bothering for such a long time. Thank you Fr. Mike for explaining these processes. I don't have to be so hard on myself now that I understand.

@richardrobertson1886 6 месяцев назад

I see this at the most providential time possible. Thank you, my Lord.

@patriotwife3920 2 года назад

I'm getting it. Thank you, Father.

@soulspeaker1979 7 месяцев назад

Dear De Schmitz I want to thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. Your video's have helped me alot with what's been laying very heavy on my heart.

@joyyoung3319 2 года назад

Thank you Father Mike. God Bless you! Looking forward a lot to the Catechism in a Year in 2023.

@veronica8061 2 года назад

Wow Father Mike, I never looked at forgiveness that way!! This really helps! Thank you!

@josephzammit8483 2 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-PlanPV2J4cA.html

@danielleneri4031 2 года назад

I had to do this New Year's Eve night. I had a friend who I was fairly close to for 8 years. She has broken so many promises to me and I have forgiven her but I had to let her go. It was (and sometimes still is) very painful.

@josephzammit8483 2 года назад

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-PlanPV2J4cA.html

@gugatena4990 2 года назад

Gracias Padre! Muy claro y liberador! Gracias!

@pezsworld2909 Месяц назад

At long last how to understand this all! Thank you, thank you !

@mrstnfmly 2 года назад

Thank you for clarifying this :)

@maggieb5326 2 года назад

Thank you Fr. Mike for so clearly explaining the process of forgiveness, reconciliation and restoration. It was very affirming.

@nataliehowell6229 Год назад

Thank you Father, your message has given me so much peace. Blessings 💙🙏

@michelleferrao8888 2 года назад

Thank you Fr Mike 🌟 Reconciliation heals the soul.

@mariebella1354 2 года назад

Thankyou for another knowledge father ♥️

@imeldamuchlove 2 года назад

Right on time🙌🏽

@Ray-iz7tv 2 месяца назад

Thanks!

@lauriceday5976 Год назад

This is huge! Thank you!

@phine999 2 года назад

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Fr. Mike! I was really hurt by my close friends just yesterday and was struggling so much because it was also on my birthday...but then your video pops up. It's so consoling to be reminded of how loving God is, how much of His grace we need though we don't deserve and how small our hearts are compared to His. I'm learning...daily, to forgive and hopefully grow in my ability to wisely reconcile with those who've hurt me, also learning from St. Theresé's model of humility (enduring others' offenses with love and forgiveness) in the ordinary. God bless you always!

@budokarate6212 2 года назад

This was excellent, Fr. Mike. Thank you. 🙏

@joelpolanco4682 2 года назад

Thank you so much! This really helped me out today. Sometimes it’s hard to know how special the sacrament of Reconciliation is! So it’s Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Restoration! The last part is my favorite 😁

@jaynex903 2 года назад

Thanks Fr.Mike you made things quite clear and sortable..... It was all jumbled up for me until now.

@rc3088 2 года назад

I needed to hear this. Thank you

@algobo 10 месяцев назад

This is so important, everyone should learn this. And knowing this keeps us safe from danger as well. At least that is my experience. Thank you so much for this video! ❤

@margaretannwoods4869 Год назад

This is so great!! Thank you!!

@the_internet_332 2 года назад

THANK YOU

@KevinBrown-rp7fu 2 года назад

So, you posted this a week ago. Today when I was getting into the car to play Day 12 of Bible in a year, Spotify wouldn't play. I couldn't get it to load. So I went to another podcast, THIS ONE and what a message, and right when I needed it. I just had an issue with a loved one and bam, God gives me this. God works through everything and knows what we need and when. It is actually "Bananas" to quote my favorite podcaster to realize how much he loves and cares for us.

@swedishcrusader 5 месяцев назад

Thank you for this video!

@yogagrace1 2 года назад

Thank you! This is very helpful ♥️🙏🏻

@georgiadavis8983 2 года назад

Thank you! Makes a lot more sense now!

@passionflower0820 2 года назад

I have been praying for guidance, thank you

@joolz5747 2 года назад

Hard when the person who hurt you is nearby and involves your family in the hurt and it keeps happening and hurting and the person believes they did nothing wrong. Never ending. Awful.

@terrancemcclendon456 Год назад

Right like you're wrong for bringing it up

@HyruleDude 11 месяцев назад

Sounds a bit narcissistic. That’s an incredibly difficult and whole new level of situation to deal with.

@Mayormyk123 2 года назад

I needed this...thank you

@preciousmaggie3604 2 года назад

Thank you Fr.Mike for the wonderful explanation! Forgiveness, Reconciliation &Restoration May you keep on spreading the gospel of our Saviour Jesus Christ! May God continue to bless you