We lived in the wealthier county area, and our kids' rec teams played against teams from the inner city. Our side would be full. Their stands would be almost empty. It was sad. Is it better to have involved parents at games or no parents?
@@barneybussey1150 Barney, I am joking. Of course it is better to have involved parents. But there is always the risk of a parent who is too involved. They are not objective. I have never had a parent say "the answer to your problems is to play my kid less."
@@yeildo1492 I was once naive enough to think politics doesn't enter into coaching decisions. Now, I know they do nearly all of the time in youth sports, and in high school. 1) In rec sports, coaches' kids get favored playing time 95% of the time. They get favorable status for all-star team selections in rec. I've seen it over and over and over. 2) I thought things would be different in HS, but they aren't. My son played HS football. He was vying for the kicking and punting jobs with this other kid. My son completely outperformed the other kid in all the practices, but the other kid's dad volunteered to take care of field and grounds. When I saw the kid's dad and the coach walking together discussing the field, I knew my son would never get the kicking job. On my daughter's volleyball team my daughter was an outside hitter. She was going against another girl who couldn't hit the water if she fell out of a boat. But her mom was head of the booster club. She was given the position and made a team captain because of her "leadership". The team was horrible. The next year, the coach and other other girl and her mom were gone, my daughter was the starter, made all-conference, and the team did better than it had in years.
@@sethcarter8385 No, it doesn't. It has to do with being a wise man, a respectful man, a mature man, a judicious man, sure. But "real" is a wholly inadequate adjective. It's meaningless on its own and is loaded with toxic ideas from our cultures's toxic recent past. The James Bond archetype. If that's what a man is I've never met one and nor would I want to
The syndrome is called "Little League Parent". It goes on in all sports. I played football in HS and D1 College, but was the worst example of being a parent in the stands. Drinking before going to a game doesn't help, trust me. I would have never figured it out on my own. One day while driving to a Hockey game when my son was a Junior in HS he asked me if I could stop yelling at him and the Refs during the games because it embarrassed him. From that day on I watched in the front entrance outside the arena, and in baseball I watched down the flu line away from the bench. I stayed out of the stands, and kept my mouth shut. Soon thereafter I quit drinking. Sometimes its the kids that have to teach the parents.
I wish more parents could learn from their mistakes like you have. I have no doubt this made you a better parent, plus you became a stronger man for it. Thank you Bill.
He's absolutely right. I was a Little League and Tee Ball umpire when I was 15 yrs old (trying to make a few bucks to buy a car). I lasted one month. I had one parent/coach tell me about two weeks into the season that if I was older, he "would have punched me in the mouth" because I made a bad call at 3rd (yes, I blew the call but it happened fast and I thought I saw it one way). Parents and coaches can be INSANE! Please don't be that person.
@David curtis the one that threatened to punch me was a coach. Some were great to work with, others were d*uchebags. Definitely taught me how to act at a sporting event
I was a basketball referee for 20 years. Stopped officiating due to Covid-19, and decided to retire. This is the best video of articulation and honest opinion of a coach describing officiating Youth basketball games. This video needs to be shared to every parent, league, school.
Most refs stink. The biases are insane. Part of that is due to the rules of baksetball being so subjective. But the other part is that while no ref can actually define what a foul is, let alone consistently identify one at full speed with players of varying heights and weight interacting....that they actually believe something fair and objective is happening. It's utter insanity.
@@willowbrook2717 Most refs stink. The biases are insane. Part of that is due to the rules of baksetball being so subjective. But the other part is that while no ref can actually define what a foul is, let alone consistently identify one at full speed with players of varying heights and weight interacting....that they actually believe something fair and objective is happening. It's utter insanity. I wrote that again so you could try to comment on it.
@@johntallanger4036 So apparently thinking and reflecting aren't in your wheel house. But it appears that attempting to intimidate is. Just a suggestion, take a step back and read what you wrote (twice) and compare it with what this coach's message is. I'm certainly not going to suggest that I am perfect. Rather I have found that when I reflect on my actions that I have to continue to strive for excellence. This approach helps me to keep from being so harsh when it comes to judging the actions of someone who is doing something that I have never attempted to do. Here's some food for thought. I have competed up to and including the collegiate level, coached both boys and girls youth sports, coached men's fastpitch softball, and officiated a number of sports from the Jr. College level down to 8 yr. old level including everything in between. It was not until I became an official that I realized that I really didn't know the rules, let alone the mechanics, even after all of those years of competing and coaching. Its not as easy as it may look. And something that dawned on me was that officials really don't care who wins the games. That includes me. But hey, maybe you're perfectly right. Maybe its all utter insanity. Rest assured, there is a shortage of officials nationwide. Maybe its time for you to join us and help bring the level of expertise to an acceptable level?
@@willowbrook2717 You're totally missing the point. So i've written it one more time for you to try to directly comment on it. The rules are completely subjective and fake to begin with. It's all biases. It's just a fantasyland that is based on whatever internal biases the individual has mixed with social pressure. There's really nothing more to it from what I've seen and never have I even heard a satisfactory explanation of what a foul is from a practical standpoint.
Youth football is circus. I stand as far away from adults as possible. They’re dreadful for the most part. Many of them smoke weed AT the game and bet on not only the final score but side bets. Unreal
Yep. As a former middle school and high school, this is absolutely correct. I made 20 bucks for a middle school game, $58.00 for a high school game. We were constantly yelled at, and most parents have no idea of the rules and their applications.
@Thack spot on. As a baseball official I’ve done team rule clinics in the winter to teach the coaches and the players the rules and how to use them during a game.
I have never seen this guy ever, but I have such mad respect for him, especially when he can separate himself from taking over his own children's coaching.
My first year as an assistant high school football coach, I heard the head coach make this statement... He called a meeting of all the parents before the first practice...No players, just parents... His strongest statement was "I am the head coach and these are the assistant coaches...We coach football to your boys...You do not coach your boys...If you wish to coach, get a teaching job here and I'll be overjoyed for you to join the coaching staff...Until then, we are the coaches, not you..."
@@CIA_Is_aTerrorist_Orginization The point of the piece is that parents should be cheerleaders in the stands. They should not be yelling out their own forms of coaching advice during a game. That advice should come from the bench only. That's what this coach is saying. At no point does he say you shouldn't coach your own kids. He simply says that if his kids are on a team he's not coaching, he'll defer to the coach who is. That's correct as well. I don't think the first commenter in this thread listened to this guy very carefully.
ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!! Every parent of every youth athlete needs to watch this. More importantly every parent needs to watch this. The lessons in this video aren't about sports.....they're about life.....you know.....the real world that will knock kids on their asses and not even give a thought about looking back if parents (myself included) don't prepare our kids to deal with adversity and fight their own fights.
Because Frank Martin was an undervalued HC while at Kansas St before leaving. He’s an extremely honest and passionate coach and widely respected among the NCAA ranks. I’ve heard him speak at a clinic once (10 year retired coach myself-now 7 year official veteran) and it was incredible to hear his mind on the game.
As a coach/teacher/parent that video is tremendous. Like so many others I give up my time to coach youngsters because I have had my time and want to pass my skills on to kids/young adults, I don't expect to get verbal abuse whilst I am helping your kid. I love working with kids (I was one myself back in the mists of time), but parents can make it so hard at times.
I've coached 19 years from middle school to high school, and this has only gotten worse. I had an opposing coach tell me "wow, you're lucky, you've got a lot of assistant coaches in here tonight. Sad part is, you've forgotten more about basketball than they've ever known."
I know up here in Canada many youth sports leagues make the parents sign a Behaviour Conduct aggreement that spells exactly what is expected of them. Parents who violated it no matter what the sport was or where it took place would be warned first time, but larger infractions would be immediate removal. Once three major infractions occurred the parent would be removed for the remainder of that year. The infractions would be cursing at players, officials or other players. 2nd being under the influence of alcohol or drugs 3. Entering the game instigating a fight with another parent, coach, official or players. Allowing these things to happen loses good coaches, officials and other volunteers.
Thank you, coach. I’m at a loss for words on parent sidelines these days. Yes, when I was growing up there was one or two parents that would do this, now it is not uncommon for it to be a majority of a sideline. And it’s not even limited to their own kid anymore. Some people feel like they have license to talk to other people’s kids. Passing this video along.
I dont think I could befriend anyone who doesnt like this guy. Its cool theres 500,000 view on this video but it should be in the millions. This was phenomenal and spot on.
I was at a lacrosse tournament last weekend and there was - as always - a group of parents constantly complaining on the sidelines. They were directing it mostly at the younger ref on the field. At one point, the older ref walked up to them and said, "do you know there is a nationwide shortage of officials in all youth sports? Do you want to know why? It's because of parents like you!" and walked away.
The parents that complain the most are the ones that bring the kids late to practice and games. Yet if you ask them to volunteer all you hear is “I don’t have time” We have one coach that paints houses and 99% of the time,he’ll get to practice with paint on himself,yet the teams parents still get mad at him for whatever reason. They obviously don’t see the dedication he has for his team.
That’s why I started coaching because if you have a idiot coaching your kid telling him the wrong things you have to either coach from the stands which I don’t agree with or you become a coach which is what I chose.
Love it, I have kids that play and some of the things parents say are insane. We have a shortage in referees because of parents. The parents should just sit there and be quiet.
I played, coached and refed basketball in Kentucky. Playing was my favorite but reffing was a close second. Loved it! Didn’t have the nerves to coach. Too much stress.
This video should be sent to all the parents who sign their child up for sports and make the parents sign an agreement that they have watched this video and agree if any parent involvement dealing with the ref their child will be ask to leave the game and sat on the bench for next up coming game. Thank you
This certainly applies to parents who think they know more than the teacher of ANY subject. I taught high school band for 35+ years and I could write a book about parents who thought they knew more than I did about designing and selecting music for a halftime show and what route to take to Walt Disney World and selecting band uniforms and - well you get the picture.
TBF I used to have to give my high school band director directions to away games and band comps on the regular, he had issues with getting directions from Yahoo back in the day lol.
Everything Frank says here is right. I coached youth football for years. Simply put, the kids were great, but the parents were anything but. Youth coaches love what they do and do it "in spite' of the parents, not because of the warm, family atmosphere.
@@ggss6879 No, I played many years in west Texas, the most die-hard football state in the country, Then spent a rewarding career as a firefighter. So, are you always this wrong, or just this time ? Either way, I sure viewers will appreciate your keen wisdom and insight.
I agree. I played football at D1 school in the late 80’s and was an all American both athletically and academically and now a board certified pediatrician in the state of Pennsylvania and let me tell you parents today are far different then my parents and my friends parents. My god if I complained about my coaches to my mom or dad they would say suck it up and listen to your coach. Great times, made me tough minded.
This is spot on, I'm in my 3rd year of coaching my sons youth basketball team, coached 4th , 5th, and now 6th grade. I try to teach the kids, when they make a mistake or whatever, I don't yell at them, I show them why its wrong, and I teach them how to correct it., they are youth kids, I had this dad who had two sons play on my team, he was coaching them from the stands, and was trying to coach them during practice as well, It got so bad that 1 of his sons would just being a ball hog. During practice another caoch addressed him, and told him, you need to sit down and let the coach, coach, and during one game, the refs actully threw him out of the game, because he was yelling and screaming at his boys, I was coaching one way but he was telling his boys to basically just the opposite, it was so confusing to them. This year they are not with us, and I am so Glad..
I just recently started coaching my sons little league team (5/6) after years of coaching high school varsity and legion and its tough. I don't expect the world from those boys, but I do expect them to listen and be respectful. Occasionally I'll raise my voice to either get their attention or simply because their spread out over a field and I definitely get raised eyebrows, especially from the moms.