A Complication of some of the most offensive jokes Frankie Boyle has ever said. (Disclaimer: I do not own and have had no part in producing any of these clips)
Transcript of jokes:
1) They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last longer... Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!
2) Unlikely things to hear on songs of praise: and we appear to have a streaker. No, One of the altar boys has escaped from the vestry!
The next reading is from one of St Pauls first letter to Jim'll Fix it
3) Commercials that never made it to air: Lidl's own brand shampoo, because you're worthless
4)Rejected questions from this years exams: Discuss the idea that Willie Wonka was a pedophile
5) Answer: 2025. Question: What year will black people and white people finally live together in harmony, in Chinese concentration camps?
6) Environmentally you should re-use your plastic bags to suffocate your children
7) Things that would change the atmosphere at a dinner party: There is a vegetarian option. You can fuck off.
If we are all hear, who is looking after Madeline?
8) Unlikely things to hear on Question Time: I'm going to take a question from a black man, without mentioning that he is black. The man in the red jumper, please.
If Britain becoming more misogynist? Lets ask this bitch.
9) Unlikely Greetings Cards: Thinking of you at this difficult time, has given me an erection.
10) Lines you wouldn't hear in a sci-fi film: Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, its heading straight for the world trade center
11) I'm all for gay adoption , gay man would make brilliant dads. They already know where all the best parks are, they already know how to put talcum powder onto a saw bottom. I would of loved to have had a gay dad, do you remember all the stuff at school? Ah, my dad would batter your dad? LISTEN, by dad would shag your dad... and your dad would enjoy it.
12) War on Terror: I watched the footage of Saddam being executed, and it really made me think, it made me think is there nothing on the internet i won't masturbate to?
13) Answer: 60,000. Question: What is my polish cleaners name worth in scrabble?
14) Viagra is overrated, isn't it? Do you know Viagra actually takes half an hour to have any affect? I often find by that time, the woman has managed to wriggle free.
15) Answer: 50 Nights. Question: How long did it take Lady Gaga to perfect tucking her penis between her legs?
16) Unlikely things to hear on a survival show: I was first taught to eat in the bush, by a french girl i went out with at university.
17) Answer: 27. Question: How long was the trail of chocolate hobnobs i used to lure my gran through the doors of a swiss clinic?
18) Things a sport commentator would never say: Venus Williams has brought something different to the ladies game. Male Genitalia.
19) Ill advised things to say in court: There must be a perfectly simple explanation. I must have a long lost twin who has identical sperm.
20) You can get celebrity sat nav's now. You can actually get a Diana one, it just keeps saying put your foot down, i think we will loose them.
21) The worst thing to say when running for US president: I'm don't just want to appeal to white voters, i also want to reach out to chinks, warts and negros.
6 сен 2024
