Hi Aisha! You've made some really good points. I agree with you on most statements that you've said like how it is not good that Somali culture gives the mahr only when divorce happens. This is wrong. Now, I wish you made a disclaimer because there are some good men who plan to pay the woman the mahr and they do it in a reasonable time. Nothing crazy like 20 years. Even some do it in installments over time. Also another thing is if he does not have the mahr ready they can islamically agree on a later time to receive the money. She should see if the man is honest, hard working, and trustworthy. If he is then she knows she will get it. Also the last thing I wanted to say was, there is nothing wrong with getting a $500 dollar mahr even though you said she should not. Even the prophet ﷺ daughter recived less. The Prophet ﷺ said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Narrated by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3279. And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said to a man who wanted to get married: “Look (for something to give as a dowry), even if it is a ring of iron.” Agreed upon. Abu Dawood (2125) and al-Nasaa’i (3375) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas that ‘Ali said: “I married Faatimah (may Allah be pleased with her) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, let me go ahead with the marriage.’ He said: ‘Give her something.’ I said: ‘I do not have anything.’ He said: ‘Where is your Hutami shield?’ I said, ‘I have it with me.’ He said, ‘Give it to her.’” Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i, 3160. This was the mahr of Faatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), the leader of the women of Paradise.
I do agree on some point you’ve said. I don’t put everyone in the same boxe but what I’m saying is, we all know our Somali brothers and we also know our culture. So, why should a sister take a risk of “I will agree on receiving mahr after” while she deeply knows that majority of the time, shes never receive anything! It is her haq to ask 500$ or 50k$, in that case she has to choose someone who is able to pay what she’s asking. She cannot choose someone who doesn’t have anything and force him to give 50k$.
@@AishaAhmedG Yes you are right. If she wants a mahr that most men cannot afford she has to look for the men that can provide this to her. Also the man should be able to give her the mahr now instead of later. If he cannot then that means either the mahr is too high OR he is a stingy man or he does not value her. Both people should be kind and understanding towards each other's circumstances.
My father never loved me so i left home at 21. Got married to a narc whose abuse made me become a believing Muslimah. Two kids later 2 divorces later and no mahr in sight
Hhhhhh somali men give the mahr just when they want to divorce the wife. Unfortunately, we don't pay the mahr in the marriage table, it big problem. On other hand most of the somali men are poor when they are getting married. The girls do good thing because they facitate the marriage, but it is not to good to don't give them their mahr. In Sharia the mahr must be paid immediately as the marriage contract taking place. You talked good topic.
They is no need to facilitate anything. Our women need to understand that a man should work hard to get married. I know many many men who are poor but work hard! If they want to, they can. So no excuses honestly 🤲🏽
Also sister, why so obsessed about mahr? If they agreed on it later then it is later. Some people ask for £5. Surely she has gotten what she wants if she didn’t ask for it. Mahr doesn’t matter unless there is abuse. The guy should take care of his family. And if she does t get her mahr, Allah will reward her with something better. Humans are not perfect. And why should a Somali father be responsible for his son-in-law paying mahr? It is the marriage that is important. Not the mahr. And agreement is and agreement. It is between the bride and groom. I haven’t gotten my mahr after 9 years. But I have gotten more than that over the years by his spending on me and our kids. Why shouldn’t I wait for my husband? My father is completely unaware. And it is not his responsibility. And I did not grow up with my father either. He was the standing Somali man and hardly saw him until I got married and had kids, and he found a use for me in his old age. That’s life, but Alhamdulilah. Allah created us Alone to face life alone. Let’s do our best and advise each other to salah and patience
Sister, your father was absent (like 50% of the Somali fathers, shame on them BTW) so we cannot ask you what was he doing. But let me tell you something, it’s not normal that you waited 9 long years to get your mahr and it’s not normal also to ask 5$. Our Somali sisters should begin to know their worth. Your pregnancies, giving birth and so many others worth 5$?
@AishaAhmedG , you're diminishing your worth even more by being so obsessed about Mahr. You said, "Somali sisters should know their worth for being pregnant and giving birth!" Don't you know the RIZQ of children is more valuable than the little MAHR?! The children are for both of you, not for only him. Even in our culture, mothers always benefit from children more than fathers do. MAHR and Children which one will you benefit more when you get old?! You're right and it's true that you get your MAHR early because it's one of your rights (الحق) and will be his problem and a burden in the HEARAFTER if he doesn't gave unless you pardon him or his family or children pay it on his behalf. Negotiate about your MAHR but never be obsess about it or be a barrier of your marriage. Life is too short, count on it.
@@moji3863 I agree. I ask him for what I want and I think it’s enough what he has given me. I see the Mahr as a bonus in case I fall on hard times or I need it. Him providing for us and helping us is more important than any mahr. I appreciate my kids more :). The trouble I went through, I went through for myself and my kids not for him. Alhamdulilah. My life is far from perfect but Allah has blessed me. My challenging marriage was a way to increase my wisdom and independence. Love my strong Muslims mothers❤❤ May Allah grant ease to all who have difficulties Amiin❤
Sister where is your hijāb? Please cover yourself if u want to post yourself publicly, this is not permissible in islam for you to post/expose urself publicly with uncovered awrah. U can not be seen and recognised by non mahram. Cover yourself ukhty astaghfirullah have hijāb
What is Awrah and what is uncovered awrah? You mean my face? As I wear Jilbab and hijab I don’t know which awrah your talking about. Just for your information not only to this sister but all the rest who are telling me to cover my face : NIQAB IS NOT OBLIGATORY IN ISLAM.
