Fresh Prince Gets Therapized with Jonathan Decker 

Think Yondu said it best: He may have been your father boy, but he sure wasn’t your daddy.

I think one of my favourite parts about this scene is the way Phil is just able to hold space for Will. He doesn't interject or try to fix things or offer advice, he just gives Will a safe space to be himself and be with himself.

I love Mr. Avery's immediate reaction of pulling Will in. Even back then touch between men was not 'normalized'. And extreme emotions outside of angry or wrathful violence were not recognized as 'manly'. Or it was considered faux pas. As a kid I recognized a parent coming in to try to help,. That Uncle Phil was Will's dad. As an adult I realize the role of Uncle Phil from the other side. The helplessness and the pain you feel as the parent. You can't solve this. You can't stop this. Betrayal on one of the deepest levels between parent and child. Giving hope and then snuffing it out. But Uncle Phil coming in with that instant embrace expressing: 'I'm not what you want but I am here. I will pick up this responsibility you are owed. You may hurt me, you may reject me, but I love you. I'm not leaving. I'm here!' What's even better whether the show meant to or not, was Uncle Phil never left any of his children.

What's always stood out to me most at the beginning of this scene is when Will's dad is offering bullsh*t excuses, Phil forces him to confront what he's doing by offering solutions. You don't have room for Will in your truck? Fine, I'll fly him out. I'll even cover your expenses. There's no "told you so" or smug victory, he tries to stop Will's dad from leaving and when he can't, he makes Lou feel his wrath.

I find it interesting how Will is expected to get angry at his dad's betrayal, and does get angry, yet I'm glad at the end that he also (sorta) cries because that's realistic.

Will Smith and Jim Avery are so amazing in this scene. Watching them progress through the very real emotions connects so much. The scene hits so much because we have all had that feeling at some level of not feeling wanted by someone, even if for a short period. Thanks for doing this.

This is the day Will Smith became an actor. He took his personal experience and emotions,used them to express what the character was feeling, and in doing that probably helped a lot of people heal even to this day. I love it when shows like this, which are mainly comedy, go into these emotional moments. It just hits a different way.

I cry every time I see this fresh prince scene between will and uncle phil. It is just so beautiful! I am fortunate to have a very loving family but I struggled a lot to feel like I belonged in any friend group. I now realize that my undiagnosed ADHD was probably a factor. Thankfully, I now have found some great friends so there is hope and like you said, to anyone out there who feels alone, just hold on, there is always hope out there.

Part of Will's interaction with Uncle Phil was improvised, and that's why James Avery grabs him in a hug at the end, which makes it even more raw and important to watch.

I've never actually sat and watched this episode. "He's not a coat you take off and put in the closet when it's convenient." hit hard. Growing up the analogy I used with myself about my dad was being treated like a pair of jeans going in and out of style.

I needed to hear this today. As someone who cannot currently afford therapy, Mended Light and Cinema Therapy is as close as I can get until I can find a way to get the true help that I need, and they help to both brighten my day and to remind me of my worth. Thank you for giving those of us struggling this wonderful free resource, Jonathan and Co. Your work is extremely valuable to me and so many others. ~ Krista ❤

"He's not a coat you can just hang up and wear whenever you want to.." God that hit me so hard.

No matter how often I've seen that clip, I still cry ragged tears when Will yells "To Hell with him!" and then even more tears when he asks how come his Dad doesn't want him. Thank you for the wisdom you share through your channel. It is needed and valued! 🤗🥰

This still makes me cry every time I watch it.

I was such a small child when I watched this for the first time and it impacted me greatly. My dad’s biological father and him have the same relationship as Will and Lou- except his dad NEVER met him. I saw, as a 6 year old, what it must have felt like for my dad to grow up. Suddenly so much of what he put us through made sense. I’m happy to report he’s grown so much in the last 20 years or so. He’s a fantastic dad now, and I’m so proud of the journey he went on.

“Will is not a coat that you put away until you’re ready to wear it.” That line hits hard and sums up how Lou treated Will perfectly. I hope that, if I become a parent, I never treat my children like that.

The most powerful part of this scene was how Will was able to be vulnerable with Uncle Phil, his actual father figure who saw him through his triumphs and failures throughout the tome of the show. Him being vulnerable with Uncle Phil came from trust, already knowing that Phil will be there for him. That comfort and trust is powerful. It is also powerful seeing how close the entire family (aside from Lou) was and how protective they are of him even though they had their problems from time to time like any family.

The most powerful part of this is that this wasn't all acting. Will Smith WAS actually abandoned by his father, and this was a hard scene for him to do. That hug was NOT scripted!

When the Dad says he's going to call Will from the road. Back then, that meant he was going to drive literal hours to possibly a day before he either stopped at a rest stop or gas station and used a payphone. The context back then adds even more weight to the line.

This episode definitely hit a sensitive note with me today. As someone who was abandoned and then grew up in a very toxic and abusive adoptive family. My motto for as long as I can remember has been to try and leave people a little bit better off than when I met them whether that means to give advice just listen and be supportive or try to help in some other way. We never really understand the struggle someone else is going through in the end, but at least we can help make it a little easier. Thank you for this and all your messages of help and positivity.

I love this scene. So many complex and difficult emotions. The hug is iconic, but the one moment I love that’s underrated is Will putting down the statue. He’s so angry and aggressive, but he sets it down on the table so carefully. Even if it wasn’t intended, to me that shows both his strength in controlling his anger and also, potentially, the care and importance he places on the father- (or father-figure) child relationship. He definitely didn’t need his dad to show him how to treat his kids, but Uncle Phil certainly showed him how.

This scene hurts. My dad walked out when I was 5 and never looked back. Before he died he supposedly wanted to see me again but couldn't find me. He had dropped off money at the house so I know he knew where I lived. Turned out he had a whole other family and he never told them about me. They found out I existed after he died. Have asked why he never wanted me all my life. Will never know the answer. My mom and I had a strained relationship. I have made my own family now. I have sisters and brothers who are not related to me by blood.

you know it's good screenwriting when John is the one trying not to cry.

I remember watching that episode when it aired on T.V. I was a young teen, and that scene struck me to my core; so powerful. I know so many who feel how Will felt, myself included. We built a "family", and I am grateful for them every day. Thank you, so very much for your wise words.

I cried the first time I saw this and every single damn time after. It's just so tragic.

My father abandoned the whole family when I was around 6/7. Saw him once for five minutes when I was 17. As I walked away I knew I’d never see him again. I struggled with it for years (depression/abandonment issues/acceptance/seeking validation/etc). This scene, and movies that touch upon this subject, always get me even after all these years. Thank you for this video 😊

This is beautiful. Will Smith acted this extremely well. Thank you for sharing your insights and reminding us what it means to be a good parent, and also about creating our own family by choice. Even though I have a great family, I have still pulled people into my family by choice, and others have done that with me. All relationships take work, time, patience, forgiveness, and love, but it is worth it.

I love the Fresh Prince show. Anyone that was born in the 80's like me, or before, knows to value the best shows that ever been, such as this one. This scene is heartbreaking, I normally don't cry, but this brings me to tears every single time. My father, the only thing he gave me is financial backup. He grew up without love, so he can't give it. In my childhood, he never been there for me. He was a military man. Was a Navy Captain (Colonel), came home tired when I was already in bed. The only available time he had, was in the weekend, and then he just laid on the couch, with paper and coffee, never talking, screw everybody. In adulthood, we started to get close more. But still, if I ask him: Dad, when can I come visit you? He is saying: Come in the Winter. Which means don't come. But at least I know who he is, he never vanished like Will's father. He just was physically, but simply wasn't there. Interesting to know about the scene, I heard Will Smith talks about it: "When is daddy coming home?" It was improvised by Will, and all of the other lines afterwards, were improvised by Will Smith and James Avery. Showing how wonderful actors they were. True will pulled it out of the hat, but James responded naturally, by what he felt in the same moment. He was flowing with Will, not many can do this, this is greatness at it's best. I miss you the greatest actor James Avery.

Honestly some of the best advice on this I've ever heard. It was heartwarming to hear how you made your own friendgroup. Gives me hope that I'll be able to make my own family. Thanks for the effort you put into these videos, we all really appreciate it.

Some of the BEST acting on Will Smith's part. Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, tear-jerker!! Phenomenal! The love and affection of not just men but also Black men shows masculinity and no pretense and no fluff behind it, but pure emotion and vulnerability and humanity and honesty.

Please, make a poster that says "Your worth is eternal, some people might fail to recognise it, but it's there", I need this in my life!!

As someone who was legally given up before I was born to be adopted, I relate when he asks why his Dad doesn't want him.

I spent my childhood hearing how I wasn't wanted, how I was a burden. So this scene, just thinking about it, hits me hard. EVERY time 😢

I haven't seen this scene in years. Watching it today made me realise that, after 28 years, I've finally processed and recovered from being abandoned by my father. The first time I watched this scene, I was inconsolable for hours. The advise at the end is spot on.

It'll be thirty years in May since this episode aired, and "How come he don't want me, man?" hits me right in the feels every time.

This scene in fresh prince makes me cry everytime. I connect to the feeling of abadonment of a dad but then seeing how he is supported just touches my heart.

As someone who rarely cries, this scene gets me every time. I give it 5/5 hankies. Will's range in this scene is amazing, and James Avery is just there for him.

I remember watching my Mom's heart break as she watched the 4 of us try (and fail) not to cry while watching this scene. She hated this for us.

I struggled for years and years and years with the pain of being unloved and unwanted by my mom. For some reason it was all I could ever think about, and agonize over. I was just constantly hurting because she didn't want me, and it must have meant that I was something truly evil and terrible, and then I sought out relationships with people that also didn't love me. In part because I felt like I deserved it, and in part because it was so normalized for me to be treated badly that I just accepted that I was doomed to be treated like crap forever. I wish I had seen this video back when I was a kid, honestly someone told me recently "It's not your fault" for the first time in my whole life, and I cried my eyes out. Life goes on, and you are worthy of love.

When his uncle said nothing and just embraced him, I got serious Uncle Iroh vibes from ATLA and almost broke into tears. POWERFUL moment. BEAUTIFUL scene.

The way Uncle Phil lunged at Will when Will asked why his father didn’t want him spoke much louder than words. The fierce way Phil pulled Will into his arms really said, /I/ want you.

The writing and the acting in this scene are both so good! You said it's at least a three hankey scene and I was like "I don't need a hankey - I've watched this enough times I know what's coming and I'm prepared and I'm not gonna cry" Wrong

So true. I used to watch The Fresh Prince when I was a girl, and Lou always reminded me of my birth dad --- a narcissist who has never been a part of my life except for when he saw an opportunity for me to somehow be USEFUL to him -- as if I was some sort of tool that he could leave on a shelf for years, and then expect it to be always instantly available for whatever use he pleases (without any care for what condition he keaves it in afterwards).. You made an excellent point about how the ADULT is there to serve the needs of the child that tbey are raising -- NOT the other way around. And my past child-self came to the same conclusion that Will does on the show -- that the better father is clearly the always-caring-and-reluable fathet-figure who is there for you EVERY day,. and that they are "enough" that you don't NEED someone else in your life who is mostly-absent (and who is unreliable and cares only about what YOU can do for THEM, and who does NOT back up their empty-praise-and-false-hopes-and-empty-promises

I remember this scene. It was the first time I thought Will Smith had real acting talent. I was never in doubt of his intelligence and comedic talent, but I'd not seen him access these emotions before. I think we were privy to some truly raw emotion from him here. The fact that Will (character) clings to Phil is a huge, unspoken acknowledgment of his uncle's role in his life. Will can be cocky and glib; he could have brushed Phil off and escaped to nurse his hurt in private as he does with everyone else in his life, but instead he allows himself to share his pain and to accept comfort. Jonathan, thank you for your message of comfort and encouragement in this video. I hope that many people who need to hear these words find them.

THIS SCENE.... this scene ALWAYS Hurts..... the Answer I've always gleaned from this is Family are the people who are there for you when you need them the most, good bad right wrong most important thing is to just BE THERE

Unfortunately many people can relate to this clip (going through EMDR now) so Thank you for this video and the work you do on this channel and Cinema Therapy channel :)

I felt Will. My mother was more like a friend than a mother. She was always emotionally absent and wants willing to be there. She was only there for the fun things, but when she had to step up to the plate and take the time in being the parent she bailed out. I tried making amends, but I wasn't respected on my set boundaries after 12 years of her lying and manipulation towards me when i was vulnerable emotionally, mentally, and physically.

This hits home for me because my ex husband left us when my son was only 3. He only wanted to involved in a most minimalistic way, only when it was convenient for him. My son is about to be a teenager now, has a wonderful grandpa who loves him and has been there as a manly role model. He has no interest in his birth father but loves his soon to be step father.

Took me 21 years to find my mum but I can assure you she was worth the wait! My Birth family might be horrid people but THIS WOMAN who CHOSE me and continues to CHOOSE me as her daughter (even though I am no longer in a relationship with her son) is EVERYTHING a mother should be! Sometimes we don't pick how or who our family is and sometimes we do but there are 100% people out there that will see your worth and will want you. The woman I call mum is that for me.

I remember as a kid watching this episode and how sad this made me feel. I wanted to be there to give Will that hug and tell him it's gonna be ok. I also remember talking with my folks about it cause I didn't understand the rollercoaster of denial he went through before he broke into tears to understand what was happening and why? How come he didn't want him?

Thank you for this Jonathan. My dad left when I was 8. As daddy's little girl, it hurt me the most. I didn't have a male role model after he left but I try to move on & have forgiven him a long time ago. But I don't want him back in my life because he only wants to be in my life if it benefited him. I came to the conclusion that he is human first, dad second. My mom has been amazing as both parents.

The glare that Uncle Phil gave Lou after he asked if he was happy was intense. Dude was about to go in

Shortly after the "How come he don't love me?" outburst, the camera zooms in on the gift. It shows a father looking after their child.

This scene is absolutely heart-rending. I lost my job (of three years) yesterday so the feeling of being unwanted and underappreciated really hit home.

I think Alan Seawright said it best "Johnathan Decker- the internet's dad". Which honestly, I think he's probably the internet's best dad. Like, listening him to talk about how people are all worth something, I'm almost to the brink of tears.

Hi Jon, I just watched both Buffy Gets Therapized episodes, and then this episode. Thank you for being so vulnerable with all of us. Something that therapists rarely do is try to connect with their patients through their struggles, and share how they can relate to their patients. Thank you for taking the time to tell us how these moments you're processing with us relate to you, how you processed them on your own, and added in what you've learned through your training and experience. Now I know why you and Alan are called "RU-vid Dads." I can't say thank you enough for being so authentic! Hope you're having a good day!

This episode destroys me every time. I felt like this for the longest time. In a much better place now but wow it still kicks me in the feels

This is one of the hardest scenes and just looking at James Avery's face. You forget that they are acting. Im sure this was cathartic for Will.

This scene was some of the best writing and acting in the entire series. Gets me every time. It pulls real They had several good episodes, bit if you binge stream (don't) it, there's waaay too much obsession with girls by Will. Among other problematic tropes. The trope was overused past cringe.

4:35 "I'll call you next week" ... all absent dads' favorite line that's never lived up to

I don't know how anyone can watch that without crying. I did feel that way all the time. My father even once called or pretended to call someone to "give me away" once when my sister lied about something to him about me and he was mad at me after believing her. That and the other emotional and one time (that I remember) physical abuse always stuck with me. These videos certainly help me flesh out those feelings.

So much going on there that I can identify with. My bio dad left me as a baby and then, here I am almost 40, and my divorced step-dad who raised me left too. To anyone dealing with anything like that, I'm so sorry but please don't do it alone.

I just rewatched the episode with Will’s dad last night so this was perfect timing!

At least Lou was not able to escape "the talk"... he was ready to do it on the phone, probably a sorry excuse of a voicemail or something. That's what my dad has always done, and he's ALWAYS refused me the opportunity of expressing myself.

I found my birth mother last year and felt this exact same way. The pain and confusion are unbearable sometimes.

47 years old and this scene still gets me teared up....such great writing and acting

Even though I never experienced this, grew up in a very stable two-parent, blended family, with visitation to my father until an incident ultimately involving police when I was 10, for some reason THIS episode stuck with me to the point where I actually searched for IT specifically when NetFLIX (in Canada) licensed the series.

2:18 “Also the voice for Shredder from the Ninja Turtles”. Because that factors into the analysis HOW?!?? 🤣

Thank you for this. My blood family on my father's side don't want me. My father doesn't want me. He doesn't want me to have an opinion on anything. He wanted me to be controlled by him. Thank you again for this.

This is hitting very real for me right now. My kids (11 and 8) comes around twice a year... I'm between this rock and hard place of telling him to stick around and be consistent or go away for good. They idolize him and hold onto those 6-8 hours of memories so tightly, even go so far as using it as a weapon when they don't get their way with me. (Don't worry, I understand the psychology behind this and I don't let it get to me, at least not reactively or where they can see.) Initially he moved three states away and would only talk to them when I'd call but then he said it hurt too much to see them cause he missed them so much. Then he met a woman and had another child. They moved back to our city and lived 5 minutes away from us for two years. He saw them more frequently, but I was encouraging it and scheduling things with him. Then one day his gf took them to the park so he could stay home alone with the video games. I asked him why and he gave me some excuses along with how he didn't actually want to see them he just said yes so they wouldn't be an inconvenience to attending puppy training classes (which the kids had been attending with me for 6 weeks already). At that point we got into an argument and I told him, "I will no longer force your children on you. If you want to see them, tell me and we'll schedule it." Now we're at a few visits around Christmas and their birthdays, which are in the end of Dec and end of Jan. So they don't see him all year except for winter. We separated in 2015 and initially he was around often. Though he wasn't the best at remembering to pick them up from daycare and I often had to leave my night classes to go get them, they at least got to see him. At the end of 2016 when he moved though, that was what pushed the snowball down the hill. I'm married now to a wonderful man who is there for them 24/7. I've been hurt by their Dad many times and each time he comes around I get hopeful for them that he'll stick around, but that hope is running thin and I don't know how many more times I can handle it before I tell him to just stay away for good and get courts involved to have him removed as father. But I also know that forcing him out of his lives could cause just as much emotional hardship around the subject once my girls get even older... *sigh* Rant over.

It hurts more to realize that someone's love goes with their passive comments

As the black sheep of the family, I needed to hear this. Thank you!!!

I've got families that have stepped into that Uncle Phil role since I stepped into adulthood- and man, that's made all the difference.

One of the best scenes in telly history. What I love about it too is that Will was inexperienced with acting and nervous about the scene. Phil Avery gave him some encouragement. Will let loose with this masterpiece. I can't remember for sure but I think the "why don't he want me, man?" was adlibbed. Phil pulls him in, and whispers in his ear "now that's fucking acting!"

I feel this, although I never have met my biological father and have a great dad I still questioned (even sometimes now) why my biological father never wanted me. I'm so grateful to have my dad, so grateful that he took a responsibility that didn't need to be his and loves me with his whole heart. But this scene will always make me feel a certain way.

James Avery (Uncle Phil)'s hug at the time he did, didn't look like acting ... it felt like James (the man, not the actor) just wanted to give Will a warm, sincere, supportive and love-full hug! ... and by extension giving THAT hug to the inner broken child that Will was giving expression to. What a beautiful acting from both of them in this scene! ... and James Avery/Uncle Phil, oh what a model of a strong, caring and loving adult to take from! Here is a video of a very moving homage the main cast gave to James Avery: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--ajp52xN_gs.html {Remembering Uncle Phil}

As a man who has spent his entire life having his father fail him over and over and over again…I totally understand the way Will felt. Shoot, I’m 38’years old and anytime my father surprises me and acts like he wants to be in my mine or my childrens’ lives, I still feel like that 14 year old kid listening to him and my mom discuss that they will divorcing. It will always hurt. But I’m like Will: F him, I’ll be a better dad and friend to my kids, and husband to my wife, than that 61 year old man child will ever be.

Can you do a video on Ted Lasso? He has a lot of trauma to work through but he always stays so positive... Thank you for everything you do. Your videos are always so helpful and inspiring 💙 #believe

I remember that scene so well. It was then I knew that Will Smith will be an iconic actor for our generation. Still gives me chills!

As someone whose father left them, this scene hits so hard. It takes a lot of work to stop asking yourself, "Why doesn't he want me?' My father passed away, and I never asked, so I will never know the why of why he left.

This is one of the best scenes in TV history.

The lense of family is what this clip was intended for but I personally found it resounded loudest with my friend groups, especially through my most vulnerable periods of time where big changes were happening and I was working through a lot of turmoil. It really fucking sucked reaching out to the people who I deemed "friends" in that moment and how few (literally only one) actually reached out and followed through with making sure I was actually ok and wanting to know how they could help/support me. Your words of advice are ones that have reached me after I personally had to go through the worst of it to learn but that I hope others find before they go through the hell that I personally had to go through. Surround yourself around those that have your best intention, make your own family/support group/friend group, and know that what you bring to the table will never be undercut by the baggage that you carry. The people who love you and truly have your best interest will be there ready to help you however they can through thick and thin. You are loved, you are cherished, and we need your light in this world ❤️

I can easily relate to Will's feelings in that scene,the "how come he don't want me man?" part My father left for another woman when i was around 4 years old,it was a very messy divorce. (He closed both bank accounts -the shared one and HER personal one so my mom couldn't feed my sister and I to try to force her to sign a paper who basically said he won't have to pay child support after the divorce) After the divorce,he would never use his rights to visit,a lot of people thought it was because of my mom (my mom wanted my sister and I to have a bond with him,HE didn't want to) so one of my mom's friends planned a meeting with him,my sister and I in a mall. At one point they were discussing while my sister and I were playing and I heard him say (most certainly thinking we couldn't hear) "I don't see why I should waste my time with them,I have my own life to live!". It was 26 years ago (I was six when I heard him say that) and now that he is all alone (because of all the sh*tty things he did) he wants me in his life,but I don't want him in mine. He never made me feel wanted nor worthy,even before the divorce (my birthday would be "celebrated" days before or after the actual day because he was celebrating his mistress daughter's birthday who happened to be on the same day as mine; he refused to buy an aerosol machine for my *severe* asthma but bought himself an expensive camera; and so on and so forth) so I don't see why I should want him in my life.

the Part where he went into a speech about how he did not need him was improvised by Will the original line was something like "I don't need him then and I don't need him now" Will said in the moment when James is hugging him and knocks his hat off he whispered in his ear "Now that's Fucking acting!"

We were all lucky to have Uncle Phil ❤ My ex who sees our daughters every weekend never follows through on promises of activities. Now that we are going through court he's angry I don't allow the girls to have the disappointment and I follow through with his promises.

I have an inappropriate reaction to sad stuff. This scene is so much that I laugh trying not to cry. My parents were emotionally absent and it makes it feel like you have no one

I'm 40 years old. I watched this when it first aired. I still cry every time I watch this.

Still one of the most powerful scenes on TV 😢

My father walked out of my life 4yrs ago , I’m 36yrs old now , still hurt and dealing with abandonment issues, it’s not been easy I feel I still have a long way to go 😢

powerful performances by Ben Vereen, James Avery, and Will Smith. This is a sore throat scene if ever there was one. I was there to watch it when it aired and wow my throat was destroyed.

Such an emotional scene and some brilliant acting. Still brings tears to my eyes years later.

I love how you talked about making friends with others who are going through the same thing of being sad and lonely becouse thays what I've always done and its awesome I have so many friends some closer and some not but we all care about each other and can just be ourselves. It's really helped everyone involved

I haven’t seen, heard or spoken to my dad in 9 years now not even a birthday card or anything. I also found out on Facebook that my dad (68 yrs old) impregnated a girl 2 years older than me, 27. I’m real tempted to comment asking if he’s gonna abandon that one too

I came here from Cinema Therapy. Wish more people saw this channel too. You do such great videos!

Our mom divorced our dad when I was 9, and he fled to the Philippines. It was really tough growing up without a father figure. My older brother wasn't very present since he went through issues of his own and spent most of my teen years in juvi/prison. My mom provided for me and loved me, and worked 2-3 jobs at a time. She remarried twice, but those men didn't really act like fathers; more like older friends. I spent my life trying to not be like my father or brother, which in turn lead to me being bullied for being too nice or too geeky/nerdy. But now I am a father myself, and even though I don't know what I'm doing, I sure as hell know what not to do.

I'm grateful I grew up with a dad in my life. I sometimes wonder what type of person I'd be if a didn't have a dad. I don't think I'd be the same person I am now.

When I saw this, I thought of my best friend. She was adopted when she was a baby. We met at a middle school & I didn't like her. But we were best friend bc we found out we lived about 4 blocks from each other. We went thru thick & thin even tho not speaking to each other bc of the man did tear us apart. We been friends for more than 25 years now. She did have these issues of abandoned & unloved. I give her my love & support as a sister & as a family forever.

I had a complicated relationship with practically every member of my biological family, and I can't trust any of them to want to listen cuz all they do is talk and say, "Don't think like that" when i try to explain my perspective of anything, even my view of their perspective. They always praise me when I change to be like them, which honestly only cements my spite for them, because they never ask a single question. When I say a goal in life, they say be realistic, they don't even ask where it came from even if it's small. They expect my love, even though I always avoid them. My friends online however, whenever I'm even STARTING to feel myself, they can draw that out more, and help me feel safe and wanted. I have lost almost every friend I had, but knowing that feeling, and that I have the ability to be in that position again, is kinda one of my only reasons for living at the moment. I don't even know the next time I'm going to get that feeling back, but I need to try!!!

I've asked myself that question everyday of my life, why don't they love or want me? I realized finally I don't need them I have me

My fiance was raised by his mother. His dad walked out when he was 7 and hasn't talked to him since. I know that this still hurts him because he talks to me about it. He does know that his friends and I love him and are his family.