Frustrated with an Addicted Loved One?

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It's easy to get frustrated when it's about someone you love. These thoughts of frustration with your addicted loved ones are proof of your love for them, and are completely natural. In this video, we'll go through the common thoughts one by one and reassure you that you are not alone in this journey.
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Опубликовано:

15 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 36

@VERONICAGARCIA-kh1le 11 месяцев назад

I’m having thoughts “I can’t believe your putting me through this” “I’m a fool, I should probably leave”

@kklife8700 11 месяцев назад

Amber I just want you to know how much your videos have helped me in dealing with my addicted son. He is in recovery 64 days sober and like a brand new person. I always felt like I needed to control his life but it wasn’t until I let go that he went on his own and sought out the help he needed. I realize now that he is able to handle his life on his own. I support from the sidelines. I would hug you right now if I could❤️Thank You

@PutTheShovelDown 11 месяцев назад

Awww, that's wonderful news. I'm so happy for you guys 😃😃😃

@adeleb3098 11 месяцев назад

I consider leaving - often! But my income is way too little. Many people, who know me well, regularly mention how I'm not the same. How I lost my sparkle... ugh! 😞

@Quartzone6145 10 месяцев назад

Its just so hard isn't it and it's a lonely place

@VenaJensen 6 месяцев назад

I feel the same

@shellysunshines 11 месяцев назад

I feel seen. You stating the "I wish it was over" thoughts as clear as day struck me because I have been feeling that way recently with one of my family members.

@corissaperron4256 6 месяцев назад

Amber, I’ve been watching your videos the past two years & need to say how grateful I am that you exist. This channel has been incredibly helpful, insightful & truly life changing. Your honesty is refreshing. You obviously genuinely care about those struggling and the families struggling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your work.

@dailyorangepill3338 11 месяцев назад

Adult children blaming parents for their struggles keeps these people stuck in angry, anxious, and depressed feelings, and interferes with their ability to think about what they could do to make their lives different.

@JamesCantrell-lg1iz 11 месяцев назад

Your fantastic helping so meany understand addicted loved ones. I just lost a loved one due to drug addiction

@susanwright3012 11 месяцев назад

Your words are exactly my thoughts that I cannot say out loud. I feel ashamed for even thinking those thoughts. My AH has been abusing alcohol for over a decade to "treat" anxiety and deep depression but spiraling out of control this entire year. The chaos and recklessness is becoming overwhelming. I try to focus on my self care (mental physical spiritual) and thankful for your videos.

@sharonbarnes9080 11 месяцев назад

This is just so so true that keeps one awake at night. What I’ve found is that I need to keep finding my place of peace in the storm. And I think the most difficult is feeling that if you talk to anyone, they often have unhelpful advice. Each day might have a different answer for that situation. How to keep loving the person who is in there somewhere is often what it’s about.

@angelsshare. 11 месяцев назад

You just gave voice to my every thought, thank you. Especially the Secret Thoughts.

@PutTheShovelDown 11 месяцев назад

Glad it was helpful!

@amritadasgupta568 8 месяцев назад

It's the most exhausting experience. I started from loving him madly to completely hating him to a level to even avoid meeting him or talking to him. It's crazy

@catherinecox8921 10 месяцев назад

Both addicted spouse and addicted child. The “I just wish this was over” is tormenting, especially when you’re constantly told it’s a disease. How do I find mental peace? I often feel like I’m being punished for something I did wrong and I don’t know what it was that I did. Will I ever be paroled, pardoned, forgiven? I still have so much shame for staying with my spouse instead of leaving, but staying was the only way I could guarantee they wouldn’t be with him if he was drinking and driving. I was terrified about what they would be exposed to on their dad weekend without me running interference.

@brettcordes3602 11 месяцев назад

The line between supporting an addict and the suffering of one’s own mental health is a thin one. At some point, you have to prioritize one’s own well-being- if for no other reason…to better support the addict.

@blessedbythebest6227 11 месяцев назад

Definitely agree!!

@colleen.f.s 11 месяцев назад

Exactly spot on. Your amazing insight feels so healing. You are saying feelings that I couldn’t say as clearly as you did. Thank you.

@lokilee1731 11 месяцев назад

Im weeping like a baby while listening to this. Nightmare... 😢

@vclocals5536 6 месяцев назад

Truth

@renee8030 11 месяцев назад

I would love to see you do a video like this for siblings and even grandparents. Your videos are amazing & come along at just the right time. ❤💚

@vivianblair669 11 месяцев назад

Have this thought every day

@robins3672 11 месяцев назад

This is so spot on.

@nicoleevaherbst7306 11 месяцев назад

I definitely felt the "When your spouse/partners attention is on something else all of the time" part because its SO TRUE. I thought maybe it was just his personality type but perhaps what you are saying is addicts and alcoholics have a difficult time with focus and prioritizing the right things in general. It felt like pretty much everything came before our relationship ---> "Quality time" with his alcoholic mom/sister/uncle etc, social activity with other like-minded folks aka drinkers, having "a good time" and making plans with said people etc. The fact that his behavior was compromising our future plans for an engagement and starting a family just didn't seem to phase him much. Evidently I was the problem...🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

@D6EH 5 месяцев назад

Not even second, I was always last. My partner didn’t even try, regardless of how I approached it (and I used all of Amber’s techniques). I got tired of it all, especially the “don’t give me an ultimatum” nonsense. My advice: run, don’t walk, as fast as you can. Let them suffer alone. Save yourself.

@Quartzone6145 11 месяцев назад

I actually feel sometimes when things are bad with my partner that I was acupuncture dead so thar I didn't have to hurt anymore. I love him so much and to see him a lovely person sober and sometimes a awful person to me when he's using is heartbreaking

@christinafisher6169 11 месяцев назад

I wish this was just over or I just don't care anymore. That's how think. I just started taking care of myself. I've noticed that I have changed as a person. We learn from each of our relationships and we take what we learn to the next one, wether it negative or positive, determines if we can be a better friend to the next person.

@laurasibley6293 11 месяцев назад

Anger that my partner's foster family see me as the bad person for leaving. She's seen as the injured party. I'm the shitty person for leaving to save my life and my sanity. I just want to tell them every damned awful things she ever did: getting arrested for dealing, the drugs, the booze.... But that's not my business to do that. But it's killing me being the bad guy. No one's heard my side of the story so no one's on my side. The unfairness is depressing and isolating.

@PutTheShovelDown 11 месяцев назад

Hi Laura, I'm not sure if you've seen this one, but it's on that exact topic: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-n4S4C52CrBU.html

@Thee-AmateurAn94 10 месяцев назад

Why can’t I have empathy for my diabetic mother she has pain in the feet, health problems to do with her blood sugar and pressure. I know these things to be true. My uncles have blood pressures issues as does my dad, my older brother seems to have stress issues. I act like I don’t see it. I work everyday and pray they get better.

@puff6404 6 месяцев назад

All of them in regards to the spouse

@melissad.6722 11 месяцев назад

My partner is recovered from Crack addiction is functioning and working but now smokes pot daily and heavily on weekends. He says it keeps him off harder drugs. Can this be true? I think he should still be working the 12 steps, going to meetings and be in active recovery not making pot his "higher power" giving it all the credit for staying off Crack and using it to regulate his emotions etc.. is pot an active addiction?

@rinina9452 11 месяцев назад

I have had ALL these thoughts. Hes been sneaking around doing cocaine and being drunk all the time and now He’s threatening to buy prostitutes now bc I won’t “have fun/party” w him. And he buys perverse items and send them to our other business address that’s three hours away. When I confront he says it’s not my business. When I ask to address the addiction he’s in denial and combative. I’m exhausted. And he’s disruptive to my goals always trying to stop me from getting off of HIS stupid selfish hamster wheel. This is NOT a marriage. He’s financially abusive too. I’m trying to get my stuff in order bc the s*** will hit the fan and he will end up in hospital bc that’s how bad it got the last time. And correct, he didn’t learn from almost dying. The absurdity.

@davidcasson5602 11 месяцев назад

Hi Amber ,,,Am I not enough,, I used to think 🤔 that at the start it was just very ,very frustrating that they would be blind drunk when I got home and therefore I was unable to do anything with them that evening, in fact it was difficult to stay in the house . Gradually as they are drank more and more often , I began to believe that it was me they wanted to blank out . Eventually though ,, after drunkenly biting me while I slept, due to her secretly , so she thought, drinking after I fell asleep ,it was decided she should rent a flat at the top of the street. On the 1st evening in the flat ,she was sat on the sofa , looking like someone who was about to binge with no one to stop them , at this moment I changed my mind it was nothing to do with me ,, it was just ADDICTION

@LilT2o00 11 месяцев назад

Never been in a relationship, no family, and my friends we're at that age now where they're focusing on their careers and starting families themselves, so at least nobody has to get stressed out over my relationship with a bottle