Also, to add another point, because I'm feeling extra over-sharey today, it seemed easier to passively watch other trans people on RU-vid live out their lives and make these bold moves than to actually take control of my life and go after what I wanted. I was programmed/paralyzed to watch others doing the things I thought I was incapable or not brave enough to do.
you're so relatable and wise. thanks, man. watching you transition has really, really helped me understand myself better. take care - i hope things continue to get better for you
+Jude Romines Ahh this is so nice to hear! I'm glad that me speaking to a screen is helpful haha, sometimes I question if it is. I hope the same for you :)
I wish I read that four years ago. I'm quite happy more people are coming forward with their "not so typical" trans narratives because when I started to doubt if I were trans I was constantly looking for excuses why I couldn't be it (not already passing as male, not knowing when I was 4, being attracted to men). The thing that made me doubt the most was that so many people say that the moment they found out that trans people existed they knew immediately. I didn't know immediately, but it made me obsessed with it for years until I realised I was trans.
Thank you so much for this video, it really hit home in a way that nothing else quite has. I think I'm ready to take my own 'leap of faith' soon, as it were, I just need to stop holding myself back.
you made me tear up man....thank you, really. I've been struggling for too long coming to the realizations you mentioned, and I think I just needed to hear another guy say its ok..."I've been there too." take care man, thank you again.
+E Wooding I'm really glad you can relate :) there are always people out there who share the same feelings and have similar experiences, it's just a matter of people being open about them and then finding those people! Which is exactly why I
Wow, it's with great timing that I've watched this video. In two days I'll have my first appointment with an endocrinologist, and I'm nervious about it. I've already had top surgery, but the idea of taking T was one that I tried to push away, just as you said, in an intent to bury the dysphoria and the fact that I'm trans. It helps to see that there is someone else who once had a decisive moment, and decided to take that leap. I hope that our future brings more knowledge and joy. You really helped me today, without that being your purpose. Thanks and please upload more videos.
Thank you so much for this video! I'm starting T in two weeks time so naturally some of the old doubts have started creeping back into my head but this video really reassured me that everyone has those thoughts and that I'm doing the right thing.
+Quinn Garrison I think doubt is a totally normal human reaction to things but we've been taught to act against it, not in spite of it. Congrats on starting T man :)
Validating people's lack of surety is definitely important. So thanks for making this video. As someone who's probably... two months away from being approved for HRT, videos like this do wonders for assuaging those doubts that will always still linger at the back of the mind when making any big decision.
+tra(ns)ceur Congrats on starting T man! Yeah this is something I wish someone told me prior to starting T. I took a train into the city the day of my first shot and literally cried..even though it was (and still is) something I wanted to do...I was so scared and I felt so "abnormal" for having doubts. And you're right, this isn't necessarily trans specific, doubt is a life thing!
Thank you this has been really helpful :) I'm a trans demiguy and I've always had doubts about going on T because of the things I'll have to deal with socially and whether my family will support me at all. I've always convinced myself that I'll manage without it, even though things have only gotten worse throughout the past few years. I've only recently decided to finally take the steps I need to take T and get top surgery, because as you said, there's no point in just waiting around for things to get better. I need to do what I know will make me happy in the end, no matter how hard it will be. I love your videos btw they're very relatable and they give me hope :)
damn you're one of the guys i fallow on youtube that i can relate to the most so far!i feel really similar to a lot of things you said , and by hearing your story it really helped me a lot!it's really nice to find someone that i can actually relate to (i'm currently living in Taiwan and hoping to move back to the US after graduating uni, and its so hard to find anyone who has the same thoughts or feeling as me despite not living in a similar surroundingi now i'm repeating myself but thank you so much and i hope everything goes well for you and have a wonderful day!p.s. sorry for the bad english, i'm chinese :p
Excellent video! Right on point. I've got to read that book. I waited until I was 28 to start my transition but I wanted to start when I was 19. I had these same thoughts, especially when assessing the bureaucratic hoops to jump through, the possibility of losing my family and thought of my transition being on display for everyone to see was overwhelming. When I started T, I thought why did I wait so long, I'm so far behind, my life has been stalled for so long. But really, I'm glad I waited til I was ready emotionally and mentally. And Imogine is right, if you're obsessing over whether or not you're trans, you're probably trans and you can't will it away.
Thank you Tamar. I totally relate. I decided about a year ago that testosterone was something I needed to do for myself, but doubts and life circumstance have held me back. I finally just made my first appointment for this week to get the ball rolling on starting testosterone. I'm still terrified, but I also feel like I need to do this for myself.
Hey, thank you so much for this video (even though it's already over a year old)! I started T eleven days ago and still am somehow unsure about it because of those "I'm not trans enough" thoughts and also thoughts about how I possibly could change some points of view or stuff so that I'll be no longer trans... And I think all this is mostly because of my family how is absolutely unsupportive. You're words made me realize one more time that it's MY life and I might be able to suppress the thoughts about trans for a while but then only get miserable again. Also this part about getting through the days without needing much energy sound sooo familiar to me.. Well, thank you for your words!
wow love that quote you read from the book, I am interesting in reading the whole thing at some point. Also, I just found it interesting that you excused your fears about your reality of being a transman through trying to tell yourself that you're just androgynous or genderless. These alternatives must have seemed less scary somehow; however I am experiencing the opposite of that. I tried to tell myself for awhile that I was a transguy to avoid the fact that I'm agenger. For me, being non-binary is much scarier than being a binary transperson, and its a reality for me that I have yet to accept about myself.
+Blair Emory I totally get why you feel the way you do, 1. because not aligning with the binary can feel really scary when you're told repeatedly that gender is an either/or category and 2. because so often we try to convince ourselves that we are anything other that what we really are. I know it's tough but keep plowing through as best as you and try not to be too hard on yourself. Acceptance takes time, I promise you will get there xx
+somekindofqueer thanks for that, so much of my life is spent in fear loneliness right now, and so I really appreciate people like you for being so brave and honest to share your experiences to the public. You may not see it first hand, but it really is helpful to lots of people.
Great video Tamar! I'm only 3 weeks on T now and I can relate to so much of what you said in this video! The passage you read is quite powerful and understandable why it moved you. I waited and tried to "will it away" for literally 10 YEARS! I wasn't ready before then to do it and it I think it happens when it's supposed to happen for people. Anyway...another great video. Thank you. -Parker
+Parker Shot Thank you Parker! Isn't it ironic that we try to avoid things in life that in the end will actually help us? But I totally agree, it happens when it's supposed to happen. There's something really peaceful about going at your own pace and I'm so happy you are. All the best in your journey :)
