Full Interview: Straight Talk on Attachment Parenting 

the girl who shared that her nephew did not want to talk about his breastfeeding relationship states that her nephew is 14! does that not a ring a bell to her that that could be why he does not want to talk about it. Sounds like a normal 14 year old boy. lets see how he feels about his breastfeeding relationship when he is an actual adult. There is nothing wrong with nursing for as long as mom and baby want to. It builds security, trust and a great foundation for a wonderful relationship.

I was breastfed until I was 2. I remember asking my mom for it until I just wasn't interested anymore. I'm not traumatized or sexually deviant. I did very well in school and growing up I was emotionally and mentally ahead of my peers, even at 5-6 years old. So in my opinion there isn't anything wrong with extended breastfeeding toddlers. I'm pregnant with my first right now and I plan on breastfeeding at least until 1, 2 or 3 if I'm lucky. I want the best start for my child and I fully believe that physically and emotionally, breastfeeding creates a bond and a safe environment for child to develop.

I was never breast fed as I was adopted when I was a few days old. Despite my parents not sleeping with me at night or breastfeeding me I "attached" just fine and we're still very close today. That's not to say that attachment parenting is wrong, bad or useless but breastfeeding isn't the end all be all to forming healthy attachments either. There are a lot of adopted kids out there who aren't breastfed and that doesn't amount to "pushing children away".

I love how people who didn't breastfeed past 1 or 2 years want to assume how our children turn out. I've known people whose children nursed till 4-5 and their kids were just as independent and emotionally stable. I personally will probably be done by 3 with my son but who are you all to judge?

I love the audience participation x3!! I'm so happy Bethany has a talk show! She was my favorite on housewives.

It grossed me out to see that kid on his mother's breast. Old enough to be in school and still breast comforting. There is no nutritional benefit at that point. I think it's about mothers who want to keep their kids needing them. Both of mine were nursed for a year each and they naturally weaned themselves. Comfort and nurturing came from hugs and doing things together other than nursing. I feel so sorry for the teenage boy who can remember his mother nursing him. How terrible for him.

At 5 my son was playing ice hockey.

Thank you B for showing the entire clip!! Not having your channel locally and only seeing short clips is such a tease. So please please add more with longer clips...I should come see your show, I would so drive from the bay area to come see you and not that this matters but I am a gay woman and I find all of your topics interesting...:)

whats most important is whats best for your child not whats best for you -eg. not wanting to let go of the experience. I sometimes hear mums talking longingly about when their children/toddlers were babies etc -make sure whatever you do you are really thinking about the child first and not what you want

wow alanis looks great

I would be traumatized if I were able to remember my mother breast feeding me!

I always say it is the ones who preach tolerance the most, or who act most tolerant, who are the most intolerant. The woman on stage with the snaggle tooth, in the 1999 flowered tie-back top, accuses women who don't breastfeed their kids till they're awkwardly old, of "pushing them away". Nice. Also, her response to Bethenny's question about whether her 5 y/o knows what's good for himself, is absolute BS. "I do think that BABIES ask for what the need in terms of love and nurturing and comfort and breastfeeding"...uhhhh...FIVE y/o is no longer a baby. They are beyond crying and whining when needing "love and nurturing and comfort..." or anything. They SHOULD be able to use their words and start expressing their feelings and what they want, and to be able to converse about it, with their parents, teachers, etc. Way to stunt their emotional growth, attachment parent-ers!

The reason your 14-year-old nephew doesn't like talking about his breastfeeding as a child is because he's 14. Any association with being attached or even LIKING your parents at 14 is pretty "uncool". He also may have had interactions where he shared it with his peers and was told it was "weird" or "gross," impacting his views on it.

I applaud the gal in the blue dress.

In regards to what the child remembers and thinks about it when he/she is older, I believe that it depends on the parent's attitude towards it. I was breastfed until I was 3, I am a childhood cancer survivor and it was better for my health and mental wellbeing at that age to continue. My mom sings praises about being able to breastfeed for so long, and so I think nothing weird about it. Sure, breasts can be sexual now, but when you are young and it's a source of food it's not. Plus, it's my MOM.

Their not breastfeeding at high school! Mothers that breast feed usually have a good bond with their child where the child is open and feel very comfortable to talk. We should let children be children for as long as possible.

i was breastfeed til i was like 3 or 4 maybe? idk i just remember one day being like no i want cow milk not this. my mom also left me sleep in her bed when i got scared til i was like 9. i have a great r/ship with my mom and i'm very independent.my mom was is a very loving mom and thats how i want to be. i think i will do the same with my kids. i will try to breastfeed as long as i can if i can. health-wise and bonding wise it is very good for a young child. u just do what feels natural kids don't have to be independent at such a young age, i think they grow up naturally getting more independent you dont have to tell them ur too old for this-normally they will tell you when they're ready. obvi tho a teenager or pre-teen even should not be still sleeping in bed with parents (yes I know ppl who did this) or breastfeeding.

I breast fed my daughter until she was 2 and I then weaned her. She was ready. My son is 6 months old and I plan to go the same length. But I do not think that it is a problem to go until about 4 or 5 but that should be the limit.

I'm 17 and i would remember my mother breast feeding it would kinda creep me out idk why but it would somehow and I guess any teenager would feel the same way as I do girl or boy same thing

I think the cut off age is when the child becomes aware that it "isn't normal". When the child becomes embarrassed to nurse in public.

People's reactions to breastfeeding a toddler is hilarious in America. I know people who have been breastfed to 6-7-8 years old and this very common where I come from. 4 is the average age to wean. The kids don't have psychological issues, and are all very independent. My friend was breastfed till 8 years old... Right now she lives in another country from her mom, she works, travels, is a very kind and extremely independent woman at 32. People in America just have no perspective when it comes to nursing... And of course... Boobs are seen primarily as sexual objects. Ugh.

Holy fucking shit humans fuck up their children so much. Especially moms. They just wish they'd never have to leave their child.

I know thanks for the information i just missed Ellen so much

props to the moms who can do this, but I personally not comfortable with the idea of breast-feeding that long

I agree with the comment that the US is hell bent on separating their children as soon as they can from the family ie breastfeeding, getting them moved out ... etc. Where you will find in Europe and the Asian countries, families stay together as long as they can.

Well, my kid stop in the exact day that he made 1 year, because he wanted to. He just refuse to be breastfed, he refused me and it was painful (more physically than emotionally), mas we were OK. So, from my little experience, kids stop when they are ready.

this really seems to be more about the moms not letting go. if i dated a guy and found out that he had breastfed until whatever age and that he could remember it, i would be freaked out. i would think 'if he looks at me, will he think of his mom?' and i think it would always be in my mind. or what if i child i was babysitting tried to nurse from me b/c he did it with his mother? how would a child understand that not all women could nurse him? and how would you respond without traumatizing him?

Reminds me of all the disturbing scenes from Game of Thrones (Lysa and her kid). No offence but this is not for me.

She said a baby knows what they want and asks for what they want…. Girl you are talking about a 5 year old that ain’t a baby.

In the uk there is a 19 year old boy that still breast feeds

I live in NYC...very liberal when it comes to things like that. I was brought up in a conservative christian home though...

I think it's not really beneficial for kids to breastfeed them after they reached the age of 5. Not because it's not healthy, just because of the public reaction. Later on they will feel some kind of shame.Attachment Parenting is not about breastfeeding in public, it means to be near your child emotinally and give them the feeling you're always their for them,but you have to set the boundaries.I was raised that way, without the breastfeeding and i'm still very close to my parents.

Most of the breast feeding moms say that it calms their baby down and relaxes them, I think it's best to teach them adult ways of how to control their anger and emotions and to find adult-like ways to express it...If they are having a hard time in highschool do you give them the boob? People say they are raising a child... but no... you're trying to raise a successful adult...

Mothers need all of this, not the children.

This is so weird..a 5 year old cannot possibly know what's best for them as she said.

is ellen ever gonna come back

She used to breastfeed at birthday parties, graduation parties, holidays, etc where people she didn't even know would attend. While i understand breastfeeding is a natural thing, I think she should've taken him somewhere private, not everyone is comfortable seeing a strangers breast out for everyone to see. Nope I'm childless :)

Gtfo there are other ways to comfort a 5 year old and be a great mother 🤦🏻‍♀️

its the mother and the childs choice when to stop , i dont undertsand why there is such a problem with it... very sad

when a kid is 5 of course he thinks feeding at the breast is what he wants, hes still a little kid !!

Why, why, why all the controversy always comes from people who 1) never had children 2) don’t have a family. Not that i never done that, like until i was 22 or something, then you get pregnant and all you know is that YOU DON’T KNOW SQUAT!

Okay this "conversation" has taken a new turn. I'm against someone breastfeeding a 5 year old. I'm not against a mother breastfeeding her infant. As for the cover all women should cover up when breastfeeding as I mentioned before not everyone is comfortable seeing a complete strangers boob.

Would you mind offering your evidence that attachment parenting makes children more dependent on comfort? I've been working on a thesis for five years now and all of my research actually demonstrates that attachment parenting fosters independent thinking. Check out Dr. Sears and Sears. The woman who has an opinion who never had a child along with the person who is 'in school studying it' is not a good source of information.

Excuse me, this is insane!

Your problem is that you might have breasts and sex but judging from your comments it seems that you still have a very child-like mind. When you have grown up a bit mentally you will understand what being a mother is all about: doing what is best for the health of the baby. Much more importantly, if you think you are likely to have sexual thoughts about a baby if you breastfed it you should not have a child until you have had therapy, whether you breastfeed OR bottle feed.

I know I think that's definitely too long

Don't always believe in statistics, that's what breastfeeding moms always bring up. Attachment parenting does make kids more dependent on comfort. Don't get me wrong i support breastfeeding even up to age 2 maybe even 3. In public, I think women should be even able to breastfeed without having to cover up. I just think some women don't know how to let their babies grow up, it's not like the kid is going to turn into a teenager right away.

I have a child who if I allowed would eat candy every day and would never ween himself unless I stepped in and stopped it because I know better and am an adult, not a 5-year old! Same goes for breastfeeding.

I don't understand how people can have their children decide what gender they want to be at 3 but if they want to keep breastfeeding you are a bad parent

I think they're embarrassed to nurse because society keeps telling them it's bad, even though the rest of the world thinks it's beautiful and nurturing.

Well for starters breastmilk is very good for him and not addictive like sugar. Secondly, how do you know this if you made the decision to stop and not him?

I think it's kinda gross to feed your child when he/she is older than 3, I wouldnt want to remember any of the breast feeding with my mom (and I'm even a girl). As a child you don't see anything wrong with it since you don't know better but once you grow older and you see breasts as something sexual, it can get pretty icky and awkward when you think about those times your mom breast fed you, it can maybe even be scarring. No matter how you try to justify it, I think it's very inappropriate.

lol @ the lady..Breastfeeding a 5 year old would be freaky in any country, not just america...I lived in Senegal and France most of my life, and spent a year in the US and i was shocked when i saw that some american women do this...I mean, breastfeeding a kid for emotional support?that's just sick. Their health argument isn't even relevant, because when you're no longer baby food provide everything you need. your mom's milk is no longer the only/best option

Going to food for comfort is a horrible idea. Just in my opinion. I agree with some of the attachment stuff actually can make a child more independent. They may not be afraid doing things. They know they have a safety net so why not go for it. A!ot of this long term breastfeeding is more for the mom not the child. are these kids even potty trained? I wonder.

His breastfeeding history would probably be beneficial in weeding out shallow women who care about such trivial matters. He'll wind up with an open-minded woman instead.

These women are nuts!

i understand breast milk is healthier for a child but an older child pump and put it in a cup

Yes, that slacker ought to man up and find himself a job so he can buy his OWN milk. Seriously, your baby is your baby forever, and at 5 if he needs comfort, he needs comfort. Trust your instincts and don't stress about what OTHERS perceive to be 'normal'. And trust your baby, he will stop when he's ready.

I mean NYC in general is pretty liberal about mothers breastfeeding in public.

If I was breast fed until5 and remembered it all I'd be horrified. No thanks

I thought it was inappropriate for her to do that without a cover. If she had used a cover then i wouldn't mind. I'm 23 :)

Well, now that 35 yo women are called « young woman », seems that everybody’s getting younger by the minute. But i agree, 5yo is a toddler. 7-15 a child then 16-28 a teen (joke).

But you wer "grossed out" because you wer brought up diffrent. at ten i can understand u might not understand but now just dont look. i just dont see what the problem is

Humans are mammals. If we look at all the other mammals, weaning occurs when secondary teeth begin to erupt. In human MAMMALS, secondary teeth begin to erupt as early as five and as late as seven. Ergo, humans, like other mammals, would have a natural weaning window during that time. We are a judgy, judgmental, ANGRY lot and we seek validation for our own choices by condemning every one else for theirs. This isn't going to work, folks. Normal -vs- Not normal... this is normal, get over it.

I have a theory that these women are doing it just because of themselves and because it makes them feel better as moms. They're not really thinking of whats best for the children. I can't believe that breastfeeding a 5-year-old is benefitting the kid in any way.

"Time to mature" the child is 5 years old! How mature can a 5 year old get? I feel like were overly sexualising this whole thing. If Americans stopped thinking about breast feeding a child as another way to sexually exploit a women's body than this topic wouldn't even come up. Plus it's not like the child is going breast feed at the age of 8 or until they are even teenagers because THAT'S when they start to become more independent. The teacher has no clue what she is talking about.

a five year boy should not be breastfeeding they need to have their own soothing skills why does a five year old have to suck momma's breast because they had a problem?? this is about the mom speaking to the woman in the audience, delivering a baby does NOT give you inner knowledge on the long term development effects of breastfeeding delivering a baby effects your OWN hormones and may cause you to lose some objectivity to me, raising kids is about the kids i need to do what's right for the kids long term and find all kinds of ways to comfort my kids, express love to them, etc. without doing things that might interfere with their autonomy issues or social development have you spoken to a child who was breast feed that long and is now grown?? do you wonder what they would say ?? yes, i HAVE borne children, i have nursed and raised kids --- and was involved in the 70s and 80s with a large group of moms who did nurse up to as old as maybe 4 yrs, old sometimes and were very attachment style the kids are in their 20s now, early 30s, starting there own families i know about 8 of them well, 15 of them altogether, 5 or 6 are parents already NONE of these kids are doing /will be doing this with their own kids..... interesting..... if you think you know best because you bore the child, it's about YOU the idea of the child being "ready" or "knowing what they need" is a little strange do you think that way with every issue? when they can take a bath? what they should eat? sweets? sleeping schedule? at least, bare minimum, talk to moms who did something like this, whose families you know and respect, AND whose children are over 18, 21 years old..... Those ladies on stage are getting their information from attachment parenting resources, NOT from a broad base of reliable medical associations and studies. Health effects of breastfeeding to any tangible degree ends at one years old. And , this is absolutely NOT a bottle fed culture, at least in middle and upper classes, not since about 1967. What world cultures are nursing normally til 7 years old? Are these first world countries where there is great nutritious food available?? As parents, and as moms, I think I would encourage young women to learn about child development and to try to obtain a feel for the long haul, the overview.

No comments? First!! Aww yeah ;D

hell no! you should not go after 1.

I meant to add that NYC is a liberal place when it comes to things like that.

Don't worry, mama, only the idiots or the ones who haven't experienced motherhood judge.

Omg (---_____---) they are children! for Christ sake children!!! Biologically speaking they aren't suppose to wean until they are seven! In America we give our ADHD kids drugs and medications, and natural breasts are so terrible and awful? Ughh. There is nothing wrong for independence during adolescence but when under 9, they are babies.

Yeah but they are still eligible for breastfeeding and they still benefit from it too!

you have just plucked that from the air. Not true.

i think its damaging for that kid to be 7 before shecwil

Ew my stepmom's sister used to breast feed her son until he was 5 and it was so disgusting. She would lift her shirt and just whip out her tits in front of everyone during holidays or other various family gatherings. For example i remember her son fell on the floor and hurt himself and he went running to her, lifted up her shirt and sobbed as he sucked away. I was just grossed out by it. -_- and I was freaking 10 years old at the time, so even at a young age i knew something was off.

REFER TO JOHN BOWLBY

a 5 year old is no longer a baby... sorry but its true

I think attachment parenting is really great and helpful for kids up to six months or maybe even a year. But kids 2 or over need independence and to experience the world in their own way. It is harmful for kids to be sheltered this way and it's not realistic for kids to learn on par in their age development-wise when this is going on. The only thing this is benefiting is the mother. She is getting an emotional need met this way and in my opinion this is selfish because the mother is putting this need over her child's developmental needs.

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Most kids are done after 6 months. It's the kids who don't want it anymore because it doesn't feed them properly. I wonder what Alanis does wrong to make her kid feel like he still needs it.

Oh gosh. Grow up!!!! Feel sorry for your wife if you are married and if not your future wife.

i dont wanna come out judging or anything but if your child can walk to your breast its time to stop! imagine finding out the guy your dating breast fed until he was five?? thats a deal breaker for me...