I Gift My Stepdaughter a House as Her Pre-wedding Gift and She Uninvites Me So That Her Real Dad Can Come. So, I Tell Her That I Won’t Be Paying Anything Now. #redditstories #redditupdate #askreddit
At the end of the story, him telling the wife she can come back home. Nope, she can come to get the rest of her stuff. At this point it's not about Lilly anymore it's about getting divorce
When your wifew spends a few months living with her ex-husband and says, "...we made a mistake..." it means, "I was sleeping with my ex-husband" and she was likely the one behind all the drama in the first place.
By her decision to leave her husband to support her daughter just shows that she doesn't understand what it means to be married. As sad as that is, I believe he needs to move on. The only thing that would change that is her doing some serious soul searching and repentance and telling him exactly what she did that was so wrong. Even then it would be a long painful road for both of them...and that is if she was truly sincere AND had not cheated on him.
Lily wanting a relationship with her bio dad is unerstandable is fine, but throwing her step dad under the bus is not ok after everything he did for her.
There is nothing wrong with a mother supporting her daughter. HOWEVER, the wife supported the daughter who was raised by OP and then turn her back on him. I'm shocked OP isn't more pissed at the wife. At the end of the day, she's the one who took vows, not the stepdaughter. I'd be giving them both the boot because they only see OP as an ATM. The moment the money ran dry all of a sudden, "they made a mistake". The only mistake made was marrying this woman and helping raise her child.
How many months did she live with her daughter and ex-husband planning a wedding and taking a honeymoon? You're right, "she's the one who took vows" and more likely than not has been cheating for years. It seemed too easy for her to do.
@@user-hx6dk9om1s Yeah. I can understand moving out for a couple weeks to help with the planning. But she stay afterwards for like 2 months. There's no reason to do that unless she was cheating on her husband with him trying to play family with her ex.
@@dcg590it’s too bad he can’t prove that she only used him for the financial support, if he could he could sue her for every single penny he wasted in this douche canoes
When my Sister got married, she had our step dad walk her down the aisle. Because she saw him as he actual dad. Even at this point both her and I had reconnected with our biological father, but he didn't raise us. So there was no point in letting him do so. So for the OP's step daughter to do this to him just means that she never saw him as her actual dad. So it isn't petty to withdraw. She betrayed the OP and she may not have verbally said that she doesn't think the OP is her dad, but her actions sure did.
You and your sister sound like awesome step kids to your step dad. I was lucky enough to have my dad all through my wedding but sadly lost him just 2 months later. If that weren’t the case and I had a step dad growing up that treated me well, it would be a cold day in hell that I wouldn’t not only invite him to my wedding but also do all the fatherly duties at the wedding. When someone raises you out of the goodness of their own heart and not out of obligation, sometimes those relationships are stronger than those made from blood
His wife went back to the ex to shack. Bet they had an ongoing affair for a year. Dude should be contacting a divorce lawyer instead of considering forgiving the daughter one day.
What I don't understand is why the wife didn't come back after the wedding or why she had to move out to help with the wedding. He was betrayed by both of them and is better off without either.
@@user-hx6dk9om1s that's what happens when you're a simp nowadays. you get stabbed in the back, left for dead and then just accept them back after they had their fun because you can't stop being a simp.
What I don’t understand is even if he didn’t walk her down the aisle, why couldn’t he attend the wedding? She can have friends, but not the man who raised her? This can’t be real.
When she said “people can change” you should have said “yes, you’ve changed a lot and not for the better”. I’m livid and it’s not even happening to me. Seriously, take that house back. You’re not wrong, she is entirely wrong.
Heard a similar story before but no house gift. Long story short stepdad walked away leaving the so called happy family foot the bill. And stepdad lived happily ever after!
Did anyone else expect the dead beat dad coming back just try and either get the house or move in because he was broke or something? Like if you thought the same.
I read something similar to this story. In another story,it was stepdaughter calling the biological father, and Op canceled the wedding venue and also the mother stood by Op, and the daughter engagement was called off.
oh yes I'm sure that was his idea. his daughter probably gushed about how the step father had bought her a house and did other caring monetary stuff he probably thought he was made. stupid little girl was coned by bio dad and lost a lot.
Thinking from an Asian standpoint (I've seen this firsthand with my sister's situation), I see it more as: He didn't want to do the hard part of raising her and taking care of her when she was young. Now that she's old enough and able to earn a living, he wants back so that he can take advantage of her.
If the wife ran off with her ex-husband and daughter for 6 months to plan a wedding and honeymoon, they were likely having an affair, but for how many years? The wife had the best of both worlds, a Chad and a simp. She thought she didn't need the simp anymore. Blame the daughter if you want, but the wife seems to have been cheating for years and likely manipulated everything to get her Chad back.
Send the wife them papers too. There is no reason for her to move in to help with the wedding. She could've done that from her home. Her and tom was going down memory lane and she was throwing that ass. Especially she staying there months after the wedding, yeah she was throwing that ass in a circle that's why she said we've made a terrible mistake. I bet you did now sign here
I’ll bet it was as much down to the Bio dad’s manipulation. I was the same with mine whenever he wandered back into my life again, the craving for acceptance and validation just makes you act irrational. Fortunately I was 13 when I realised it was something I was never going to get, I kept him at arms length for the rest of his life. It’s weird though but as soon as I stopped wanting or needing acceptance the more he seemed to be around but I never trusted him again and took all his promises with a pinch of salt, so was never really upset when he never came through on them.
I agree. There was no other reason for her to stay there for like 2 months or more after the wedding. I understand leaving to stay with the daughter before the wedding. But staying for so long afterwards was weird.
Good afternoon from Mississippi!! You handled this awful situation the very best anyone could. You gave your heart to Lily and she betrayed you, your love, your kindness, as well as your wife did. Was she hoping to go back to her ex or something? She should’ve supported you 100%. You were there more for Lily than she was. You handled it all the right way. Lily is not a little girl anymore, but a grown woman. Let her come to you after she figures it all out. You were gifting her a house because of the relationship you had and your love for her. She betrayed that love and trust. Let bio dad buy her the house. You were absolutely right not to give it to her. She should not expect you to. Your wife should take your side because you did nothing wrong but love and take care of Lily. I wouldn’t let the wife come back until she agreed to counseling. They both need to put on their big girl pants and get their heads out of the sand. If you let them back in your life, I would set some ground rules so they don’t hurt you like this ever again. I wish you well and God Bless!
This fool doesn't realize that Sara was most likely with her ex during the separation when she was with the daughter. Hence, "We made a big mistake". Don't take either one back!
I wouldn’t say that for sure that she was but I can’t fault your logic, but she was stuck in the middle of an impossible situation and she took a side. The one she could live with and the one I would expect a parent in this situation to do but I wouldn’t invite her back if it was me even if I knew for sure she wasn’t with the ex.
I wouldn’t say that for sure that she was but I can’t fault your logic, but she was stuck in the middle of an impossible situation and she took a side. The one she could live with and the one I would expect a parent in this situation to do but I wouldn’t invite her back if it was me even if I knew for sure she wasn’t with the ex.
OP is a SIMP to even consider forgiving these lowlife mother daughter duo, who saw OP only as an ATM. OP should cut his losses and focus on his happiness alone. Lily and Sarah are two peas in a pod. Sarah could have knocked some sense to Lily as a mother, reminding her about their past and her deadbeat father, but she didn't do it, which is a clear sign that she was okay with what her daughter was doing.
F-lily! Omg op, you were a dream step dad and the audacity of lily to disrespect the overwhelming luck that her mom found such a wonderful man. Keep the house away and spend it on yourself. Your charity work for the disadvantaged product of a divorce should now be over. Bio-dad only came around long enough to look good at the wedding and get that place of honour, and now it’s over so he has no real interest in the real work, the real commitment.
I pity daugher a bit (not because of OP's actions). But I wholeheartedly support OP's actions in stopping financial and emotional support. Moreover, I think he is wrong in inviting his wife back, since I believe that daughter wasn't the only one 'reconnecting' in those six months, 'we made a mistake', lol.
This girl could have both at her wedding. I don’t understand why she is excluding her step-dad. She needs to grow up and have the difficult conversation. Instead she ghosts her step-dad. Sad.
Is this ai story? Op keep on asking if he should let Lily reconnect with the biological father and all the memories stuff. Like just get to the point, what happened next?
Glad I’m not alone in this side*😘theory…..registered with feelings of so much utter common sense & normalcy that I’m having trouble classifying it as an assumption 😑
All they see OP as is a cash dispenser. The stepdaughter showed her true feelings and how fickle she is, and his wife shows she not a loyal woman. OP is better off without them.
His wife moved out for 6 months and did not talk to him for half a year to plan a wedding 🤔, yeahhh she was cheating and left him probably for her ex and when that did not work out she wanted to go back to her back up plan
The OP's decision to take back the house and not pay for the wedding is totally called for because as the old saying goes:"ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS"and sad to say always will, now Lily needs to realize that her bio dad Tom can't and shouldn't be taken seriously for any reason whatsoever and put him out of her life for absolute good measure and never look back afterwards, and op should also decide to leave both Lily and Sarah behind as well for his own mental health's sake period.
She easily could have invited both her dads to her wedding. She didnt need to cur off her relationship with you to build one with her biological dad. I'm so sorry your child did this to you. You dont deserve this pain! 😢
Forgiving isn’t the problem. Trusting her again is the problem. Forgiveness is as much for you as it is for her. That angst will eat you up inside if you don’t. Allowing yourself to trust her again however, will take a while. Emotional hurt takes Much, MUCH longer to heal than physical hurt. Those wounds open up on a whim for no reason at all. Take your time and heal or you Both will suffer for it.
It's not as if Lilly had not been disappointed throughout her childhood. I could almost understand, but NOT excuse, her thinking if she had not seen him at all during her childhood either, but she had. I know plenty of people, since I was a child myself, who said unequivocally that their stepfather or stepmother was their real parent, not the biological one, so there really is no excuse. Lilly was just too spoiled by having the unconditional love of Op until she just pushed it off the edge of the Earth, so to speak. I'd be rethinking my marriage to my wife also, because she went along with it. I don't think I could have gone to the wedding if I were her.
It’s not always like that, as you grow up when the bio parent keeps popping in and out your life, you need to validate yourself to prove to yourself it wasn’t you that made them go away. I was fortunate at the age of 13 I realised it was my dad and not me that was the issue but not everyone in that situation is that lucky. All those that hold me up unto that point how he was going to let me down, I hated them and that need for validation just reinforced it.
I get the whole inviting the biological father to the wedding, but excluding the man who was there for you for the important moments just for the man who basically abandoned you is just petty and cruel. Kudos to the Stepdad for sticking to his guns and making the stepdaughter realize the error of her ways.
How the hell can he feel sorry for lily when she knew exactly what her bio dad was like, in fact everyone knew what he was like. He let her down at every single turn and now she expects him to be there from now on because he apparently changed. I can guarentee in a few years time the bio dad will try and creep back into lilys life, and she will be gullible enough to let him.
Never put all your basket into a kid that isn't blood. My dad learn that the hard way. My mom past away when we (5 kids, me and my bro and sis) were young, and my dad got re-marry, my step mom came with 2 kids, youngest 5 year old (Son), and oldest 12 years old (Daughter). My dad raised them treated them better than us because he wanted to please my step mom, he help them with loans and everything, while he told us to do it ourselves. 15+ years past, my step mom past aways, their kids convince my dad to get us to pay for her funeral, after much disagreement, we did. Then the day after we put my step mom in the grave, both of her kids abandon my dad (they were living under him with their mom), and no contacted him, making him come back to us and he was so sad, one of the last thing he told us "I wish, I wouldn't of threated you all so bad in favor of those good for nothing kids of my wife (step mom)" my dad past away 4 months later, and the good for nothing kids of our stepmom didn't show up or contribute to his funeral.
Lily is free to make her choices for her wedding. That being said, OP is too. He doesn't owe her a thing and altho she shud, she doesn't, this isn't the first reddit story where the child is ungrateful.
No u did the right thing taking back the house! Her cutting u completely out of her wedding is so petty and wrong! I feel like she only wants u around when it benefits her! And Her bio dad can buy her a house then! My heart goes out to u. But you r truly a real dad and your an amazing man! Never change..
Dont forgive and dont forget. Tom might reappear again in several years and Lily will do the same. She is a grown up woman, not a little girl - she should know better who is good and who is bad. Its the end of the family
This right here is absolutely One of the reasons why men should not get involved with single mothers. He raise that girl for 15 years how did she say thank you by uninviting him to the wedding so that her deadbeat father can come to the wedding I would be done
"we are so sorry it was a mistake, after 2 month he had already disappeared again not answering to lily or sarah" ummm why tf are u in contact with ur ex after moving out of ur house to "just help with lily's wedding prep" dude it is so obvious she cheated with her ex, planned to leave to rekindle the lost family and then he left again after getting the 🐱 a couple last times. prove me wrong
Don’t let yourself be disposable in someone’s life. They will throw you away whenever it’s convenient. It’s time for you to live a life where you matter.
Do not trust her one bit. She may try to get close to you to try to see how she could set you up to get the house and more please keep away from her Do not trust her not one itsybit, plz,plz, plz.
The OP should have been more understanding for Lilly wanting to connect with her bio dad. However, Lilly shame on her for just cutting him out like that. For not thinking about every time he was there to pick the piceas up. Sarah shame on her for moving out. That was some bs. She basically said I choose him over you to.
I dont think he wasnt understanding. As a matter of fact he understood quite well. It was the fact that she COMPLETELY EXCLUDED him on her wedding day. Even if she had asked bio dad to walk her down the aisle is a big slap in the face. The face that he wasnt even invited AT ALL was the point. Not that he didnt understand her wanting to reconnect w dead beat dad
As a father that walk down the aisle is sacred. Now I know several blended families where the Stepfather and Father have both walked the daughter down the aisle. love is fine, never exclude when you can include.
Nope, Lilly needs to apologize and she needs to make amends to OP. Regardless, she could have allowed her bio father into her life with totally excluding OP, that was silly and unnecessarily.
The daughter rejected her stepfather as family by her actions. It speaks volumes on how little she deserves Amy sort of forgiveness. For op's wife to leave after everything. The hurt and betrayal op felt. Yet she chose to comfort her daughters bad choice and allowed her to make an obvious mistake. This is all deserved. I'm not op but if I was I would not forgive any of them easily. If even at all. Op deserves soo much better then this.
Divorce her too, why did she move out just to help plan the wedding? Seems like they all played happy family and now that they've been abandoned again, they want their option B & ATM back in their lives. Get rid of the both of them!
I don't see why you would let your wife back after all of her support to Lilly and Tom, none to you. A wife should have her husbands back. It seems to me they are using you for your money.
Yeah, I was Lily many moons ago, the need for validation and acceptance can make you act completely irrational, thankfully I realised that the acceptance was never going to come. Thankfully I was only 13 when I worked it out so I never burned my bridges as much as she did.
Its gonna hurt like fire, but that child doesn't deserve your kindess. You did right by her in raising her, but now you have to let her go. Excluding you as if you're not her father is insensitive and cold.
I’m so confused, why is the wife acting like she’s Switzerland during all this?!? Pretty sure his wife was fully aware she was in contact with the deadbeat. This is beyond hurtful. They don’t miss him, they realize how much financial security they gave away willingly.
You go back to that step daughter, and your find out when you need her again, that she throws you away like the last time again. Once they show you who they are, no matter how sad they might be, you let them go. Wait till your in the hospital, she will revert to herself because she has to take care of you and abandon you while your on the Dbed.
Keep far from her she can't be trusted plus she may get you in trouble to get the house. This just dropped in my spirit while writing this comment. Be warned.
There is literally no reason for him to not go to the wedding. outright uninviting him from the wedding seems a bit orchestrated and spiteful. Maybe she's trying to make a big display of love for her Bio dad. I understand that she's trying to "earn" the love of her birth father but she did it by sacrificing her actual dad.
Shocked he did not take all the money in daughter check account or stole money at her home!!! Lily pick the wrong one and now she got go that road with her mom only!!! Wonder what he did with the house???
So after he has funded them through the child’s life they both drop him like a hot potato for Tom? Sorry but I would be asking for a divorce, he was nothing but a meal ticket
This story is so sad. Not the AH. She is very unappreciative of what she had. She is not to be trusted again including the mother. So easily they both abandoned him.
Lily's New Life Is About Her And Her New Husband. • Let Her And Her New Husband Keep The House That Is A Good Investment Into the New Couple. • Allow Her Bio Dad To Walk Her Down The Aisle. • If You Are Paying For Everything @ The Wedding, Let Her Know You Will Be There @ The Wedding. .... After All, Supporting Her Onto This New Level, Is Still Important To You. • Make A Toast Wishing The New Couple Well At The Reception. (this wedding is about Lily and her new husband) Bio Dad Is The Fly In Soup, Stay In Grace .. Bio Dad Will Crumble On his Own. • If You Need Some Healing You And Your Wife Can Go On A Vacation Where You Can Unwind And Enjoy Yourself And Re invent What Life Looks Like For The Two Of You Now That Lily Has Married. .... You And Your Wife Did Great As Parents. .... Do Not Give Bio Dad Too Much Recognition He Is Who He Is, And He Does, What He Does. ...Continue To Enjoy Your Life. Bio Dad Can't Keep Up With You. .... Let Him Fight His Own Demons .... Lily Can See The Truth And What Is Real And What Is Important To Value. .... And When She Has Children It Will Be Up To Her Husband To Protect Lily And The Children. Stay Cordial With Lily's New Husband .... Enjoy Your Life. Peace
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