I love the irony in the comments. He's doing to her what his ex did to him, yet she's the gold digger? He needs therapy. He's too emotionally damaged to be with anyone. The woman did her best to support HIM with money from HER savings and he can't even acknowledge that. He didn't deserve the abuse, and she doesn't deserve the effects of it.
Irony? Did her best? Therapy? Women☕☕. People made gender equality to justify women in the villages and west but in the cities these cows use gender equality as a way of getting what they want. Let it be after a couple of decades gender equality would be for men not cows
It wasn’t about blame, it was about basing a relationship upon a bad past relationship. Which ended in emotional abuse for her (and somewhat physical with the cold temperature he insisted on trigger a flare up in her autoimmune disease). And in the end she stayed understanding about his experiences, said that he wasn’t a bad person but just had a bad experience. And proceeded to wish him the best in life. Showing a wonderful level of emotional maturity and self respect that lots of people should have.
She says she doesn't feel like she got her happy ending but it sounds like she did. It doesn't always feel great for a long a while after a situation like that, but she has a loving home and companion and comfort in family as well as the material comforts she was deprived. Single life rocks, and I hope she gets with it and starts enjoying it for a while before she dates again.
For anyone calling her a gold digger the girl was paying for everything and had to dip into her savings to refurbish his house since the ex wife took everything she could take the husband is fine letting the wife pay for everything and I mean everything she even pays half the bills but isn’t okay when she asks for money for things and calls her a gold digger
1. She isn't his wife. She's a live in girlfriend/fiancé. 2. I see where she bought dishes and a couch. She did not refurnish the house. 3. She wanted to go out to eat. Why shouldn't she pay? 4. Multiple comparisons going "but his ex wife got expensive thing". How did things turn out with him paying for everything with his EX wife again? 5. She contributes to bills, but does not pay rent/property taxes. States that a couple degrees difference in the thermostat would only make $100/yr difference due to solar panels. 6. Brings up multiple times that he is a millionaire. 7. Brings up his vision for a wedding and she gets triggered over the price tag being too low. 8. Wants him to sell his house and move into one that she can afford? Not sure if she's talking furnishing & decorating or property tax. 9. Still pushing him to sell his house even though she "paused" their engagement and not sure about marrying him. Finally, we don't know what he was really left with after the divorce. There's an inheritance that we don't know if there are any strings or stipulations attached to. There's the house, and he has a well paying job. What did the ex wife get? Is he still trying to rebuild? Or is this just his "new normal"?
@@steve43twomen in general wants to be treated nice and if you can’t do the bare minimum don’t be in a relationship simple he had all the resources to keep her happy and loved and keep himself happy but he didn’t women love men who act except this person who wanted to fix a broken frugal man who has millions not a millionaire with frugality
Please explain how he is being abusive in any way? Some of yall claim abuse but have no idea what abuse actually is and think it’s something when things don’t go your way. In no way is he abusive, manipulative, or an ah. She is the one who had an issue with the lack of decorations and curtains…not him. He didn’t force her to buy anything or even ask her she just choose to do that but the biggest issue is when she asked for a fund to decorate the place like she thinks he cares about that kind of stuff cause news flash most men don’t. You also can’t claim emotional abuse unless you are essentially saying that she is a gold digger because her feeling of “neglect” is tied to him being frugal which would imply she digging for his gold
@@masonvolz6797She had autoimmune problems that flared up because he was being a cheapskate and turned the heater down all the time, thats one of the things, though while i think thats abusive i also think she should have communicated her issues to him (if she hadnt). He also kept comparing her to someone else and made her feel belittled and inferior. The way he treated her had her thinking unhealthily and she needed therapy for it, he called her a gold digger and had her thinking that if she tries to get him to spend anything on her even though she spends so much on him, that she is like his shitty ex. He clearly doesnt trust her and is punishing her for what his ex did. If he's not abusive, he is still a **horrible** partner.
@@JustBeingRealGuys that didn’t prove any abuse just that she’s stuck in her own head about things. Everything she said she had no proof it was just her emotions controlling her
This is just sad all around, but it's good that OP got out of this and got some help. I how they are doing well now wherever they are and that the ex will get better
I relate to OP so much. Also dated a guy whose ex left him with an empty house, thrash bags of stuff, and a shattered ego. Spent all my time doing my best to make him feel loved. The moment he felt better about himself, he kicked me to the curb and married someone else. Giving your love to these people just isn't worth it.
Listen to full story before calling her a gold digger.being a victim doesn't give u the right to abuse others. In the end she left him to have peace of mind.
wtf does his past experience have to do with you just because he went through that in the past, doesn’t mean you have to suffer for it, because you weren’t the one that did that to him. If he hasn’t gotten over what happened to him then why is he dating or even planning on getting married to somebody else? I don’t blame you for not want to marry him, because he was willing to do all that for somebody else that didn’t love him or even cared about him, and was probably just using him but the person that actually loves him he refuses to give anything to.🤨nah there is no point in marrying, a guy that’s not gonna help you, having a man is supposed to make your life easier and he’s not doing that for you. What’s the point of being with him then? Get somebody else to deal with that crap girl. Get out. I would have confronted him from the beginning and if no change I’d be gone. After that proposal you should’ve left. No allowance to maintain yourself and he’s asking you to pay half the bills when he can do that on his own knowing you don’t make as much. HELL NO! Unacceptable! He was taking his revenge for his ex out on you. He subconsciously sabotaged the relationship he wanted, and finally got but was too blind to see 🤦🏽♀️
Did I miss the ghosting part? Sounds like she made a clean break and I can't blame her. If maybe somewhere down the line he can convince her that he's truly changed she may give him another chance but for now, I can definitely understand where she's coming from. It's really painful when you get involved with somebody who has trauma from a past relationship and they just can't get over it
He was traumatized: but now he has traumatized her.. Sounds like he used every opportunity to make her feel small for wanting something as simple as fricking curtains!! She wasnt wrong for leaving.. Maybe after therapy he will become a better man..
Im so shocked nowadays about how much things people do when facing a problem that could be solved by having a long honest conversation. Keeping things in your heart will lead to nothing.
Being financially abused does not justify financially abusing the OP. If the man is unwilling to pay his fair share then good riddance. Hopefully the man at least keeps groceries stocked up.
If she ended up pregnant with his child she would need to sue for child support since that would be the only way to insure that his child received the necessary monetary support.
Correction: don’t be with people with *unresolved* trauma from past relationships. You’d be hard pressed trying to find someone who hasn’t been in a traumatic (in one way or another) relationship. It sucks, but it’s pretty likely anyone with dating experience has had a bad relationship in the past that left them with at least a little trauma. Avoiding dating traumatized people altogether is near impossible once you’re past high school lmao
It’s no excuse to abuse someone just because you were abused but he is trying to change give him a second chance and if you see nothing new break up but truly he was guard for what his ex did to him and all that time you didn’t talk and ask to go to therapy and other stuff you instead left him and started an new life you could’ve done so much to make your relationship better honestly he should break up with you
Honestly, I think she did the right thing for herself. I know what it's like to be a people pleaser. I've been there. Still, there's a lot of things that both of them need to work on and I wouldn't have given up so easily.
look at her comments. She posts and comments very regularly (last comment 2 days ago). She always, ALWAYS, focus on the financial part of any and every date she has. It is obvious AF she is after money and her post was just attention seeking BS.
She feels neglected. He Is hurt AND doing exactly te oposite he did, because he did not want someone with him for His money. This ould be adressed un therapy. They need to talk to find a common ground in order to be in a healthy relationship
@@adaampoole5128 And that’s a rational fear to have after being treated like that by his ex. But he can’t stay like that forever. he needs to move on. get help and work on himself. He can’t let one terrible relationship ruin him. Sounds easier said than done but he needs to try.
No, she blames him for what she said. Not for "everything". He was financially and psychologically abusing her. After hearing about her illness he basically ignored which made her physically sick... I am done. That is also physical abuse. Just no. It's amazing how sneaky he is. He even started physically abusing her without her realising that. And I've only realised it typing out my previous sentence. Dude is goood. And I am pretty sure he did most of those things consciously. Not all, but most. He is a sadomasochist. No, it is not a figure of speech. He can either be abused or abuse someone else. He does not know other ways to be in relantionships. His ex was sadistic, so he readily took the victim role. And bathed in selfpity and compassion from outsiders. Once he found someone with even less spine than himself (especially since she's fallen in love) he immediately switched to being the abuser and enjoying his own sadistic side. After all, he could not "punish" his ex exactly with guilt, and this is an important part of the cycle in these types of dymamics. His ex sounds like a complete sociopath, guilt is unknown to them. So he could not possibly compete with her. It's a "run" situation. He is like that not because of his ex. If he finds another sociopath like his ex next time, the scenario will repeat itself. And then he'll seek another victim woman to suck her blood out to refill after his masochistic ride.
@@elizabethorfalo I don't think anything healthy can be built with him. When you realise he actually started abusing her physically by deliberately ignoring her illness... It's a sneaky abuser, basically a sadomasochist. When his partner is sadicstic, he takes a victim role. If he finds someone more submissive than him, he becomes sadistic himself. And he enjoys it. She was sharp enough to catch that... Yes, he enjoyed abusing her while prerending it's he who's the victim. No, that girl needs to run and not look back.
OP has commented on her own posts 2 or 3 times a week for months and it is pretty obvious she is a gold digger. The 1st thing she says about how her most recent date went is if the guy wanted to split the bill or not...
Because she's now hyper focussed on it, because of this ex relationship??? He had an ex that was using him for money, so the next time he definitely didn't want to get used for money, so he went out of his way to try as spend as little money on the relationship as possible. She came out of a relationship, where she had to pay for every relationship-expense, so now that she's going on dates...she definitely doesn't want that again!!!! And normal stuff like a guy not wanting to pay for the entire bill makes her go...is he the same as ex? Is this a sign that he's an MRA and that he would eventually make her pay for everything? It doesn't actually make sense but that's how hurt people behave. Hurt people don't want to get hurt again and will excessively try to prevent that. Another example of that type of thing would be: for example with cheating. Before cheating, you might consider it very invasive for a partner to demand the passwords to your phone. And after being cheated on, you might not be comfortable anymore without that password and might see refusal as a sign that your partner wants to cheat.
Financial abuse doesnt exist... Or If it does, you know a woman coined that term and invented it out of whole cloth. Everyone saying read the whole story she isnt a gold digger... She is indeed one and people dont know how to read subtext. His plan from the beginning was to use his tactics to chase away any woman who isn't more interested in him than his money. It worked. His plan chased away a woman who cared too much about his money ! The thing is that this poor guy will likely end up alone or ( could be and ] a guy who specifically toys with younger woman who are obvious gold diggers. The sad fact of the matter is that for wealthy and well off men : 9 out of 10 woman are [ if not only ] mostly interested in their money. Before they ever even marry them the thought pattern is : "If we ever divorce i will be well off" These woman are really already thinking about divorce long before they are even married... And honestly it is sick and twisted ! Who programmed these woman into thinking like this ?¿¿ Was it the media ?¿? Their parents ?¿? What is it that causea woman to size up a divorce before they are even married. Reminds me of that video where : A woman divorced her husband and finally fought for and won full custody of the kids. She was so happy, excited, and delirious to the moon and back.... Until she learned how much money she was being awarded. Then her face just dropped. You could see how upset she was... and honestly ?¿¿? You could tell she wished she didnt fight for the kids because she didnt want them. She wanted the money that she THOUGHT was coming with full custody ! She wanted to be "for the streets" with a full time nanny / live in caregiver to her children. It is sick and disgusting. It is actually evil when i really think about it... evil to the corw !!!
Let this be a reminder women blame men for what other women did to those men. Women also blame men for what other men did to those women. The winning move is to not play the relationship game, pump, dump and move on.
Sorry but it's not her responsibility that he has PTSD, she did everything to reassure him and tried to help him to a cheaper life to help with his financial situation mentally. She paid for everything to not make him worry but felt neglected because he didn't treat her the same way back.
wtf does his past experience have to do with you just because he went through that in the past, doesn’t mean you have to suffer for it, because you weren’t the one that did that to him. If he hasn’t gotten over what happened to him then why is he dating or even planning on getting married to somebody else? I don’t blame you for not want to marry him, because he was willing to do all that for somebody else that didn’t love him or even cared about him, and was probably just using him but the person that actually loves him he refuses to give anything to.🤨nah there is no point in marrying, a guy that’s not gonna help you, having a man is supposed to make your life easier and he’s not doing that for you. What’s the point of being with him then? Get somebody else to deal with that crap girl. Get out. I would have confronted him from the beginning and if no change I’d be gone. After that proposal you should’ve left. No allowance to maintain yourself and he’s asking you to pay half the bills when he can do that on his own knowing you don’t make as much. HELL NO! Unacceptable! He was taking his revenge for his ex out on you.
You're absolutely right, it's not fair for you to suffer because of his past. A healthy relationship is a partnership, and it sounds like you deserve someone who can fully support you.
![[FULL STORY] My fiancé is extremely frugal, and cheap.. I plan on calling off the wedding, leaving..](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
