Funny Air Traffic Control Conversations Best JFK ATC 

"We have clearance, Clarence". "Roger, Roger, what's our vector, Victor?"

Rumor has it that Lufthansa 410 still waiting for burgers and fries

From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!" Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!" Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

“I do t think he had his coffee this morning” “*WHAT*” I’m dead!

Best one ever, A German pilot flying a Lufthansa flight from JFK into Berlin, contacted the tower in German Tower: You are an international flight, please communicate in English Pilot: I am a German pilot flying for a German Airline flying into a German City, why to I have to speak English. After a long silence, another voice with a very British accent replied "Because you lost the war, mate."

ATC: "There's absolutely no reason to rush" Pilot: "Oh dear" Yeah i felt that

"there's absolutely no reason to rush" ... "Oh Dear"...

"I want you in Atlanta" "Okay.. how's Boston?" "That'll do too" It's all about compromising. 😆

I love it when ATC calls take on the characteristics of a Discord voice chat 😂

Tower: Scandinavian flight be aware, you hav a Fokker 50 ahead of you. SK: I hav been waiting my whole career to say this, i hav the little Fokker in sight. :-)

The bird's wife is no joke. Those big birds have longer marriage than the average American marriage.

This is a long'ish story but true: . Huge storm over Johannesburg, South Africa. A bunch of flights that had come in from various parts in Europe were asked to circle around until the storm blows over. These pilots were tired (they'd been flying for some 10 or so hours and now had to circle around and wait). . Various pilots called in at various intervals asking about the weather conditions and whether they could be cleared to land. They would repeatedly get a 'negative' response. After hearing a negative response, some pilot must have accidentally put his hand on the mic button and every one heard a transmission of a pilot saying, "F%$K!!!". . That is serious. You can be grounded for swearing at that level. . Jo'burg control tower calls out, "Will the pilot who swore please identify himself."..... radio silence...... again, "Will the Pilot who swore identify himself"..... . Suddenly some Englishman came over the radio, "This is BA147, that's a negative on the F#@k from us." Immediately all the other airlines cranked in, "This is Lufthansa442, That's a negative on the F$#K from us", "This is KLM... that's a negative on the..." . Control tower got the picture and announce, "Okay guys, we've all been having a long night, let's calm down and focus on getting everyone home safely tonight."

1:48: *”WHAT?!”* that made me laugh way more than it should’ve! 😂 4:20: *”my f-cking favorite!”* *”that guy know he’s talking on a radio?”* I’m dead! 😂

Heard over military comms, someone dropped an F bomb, immediately someone called out "Who said F***?" for the next 30 minutes, contact after contact yells "I didn't say F***!" until we got bored with it.

dispatch, "are you ready to copy a speed restriction?" conductor, " yes, but this is my first time so please, be gentle." dispatch, "standby!" as he laughs off.

As an ex-air traffic controller in the Air Force, crap talk like this was never allowed not even with our FAA ATC counter parts that I recall. Damn, things have changed.

I miss Steve! He was an awesome controller

“I want you in Atlanta!” …and that’s where I lost it. lol

The British pilot is flying into Berlin and asks for directions to the gate. The annoyed controller barks at him saying, "what's the matter with you, can't you tell I'm busy? Haven't you ever flown to Berlin before?" To which the pilot replies, "yes, several times in fact. Problem was that back then we weren't landing."

Tower: Wanna turn right or left?.........Pilot: Yes........Tower: Yes, what?..........Pilot: YES; SIR!

The British airways Speedbird one was so damn British I gripped my tea close and blessed Lizzy

Back in the late 90s we flew back home from Seattle. There were two flights at the same time out of there on the same airline. I was on one and a friend was on another so I swapped. It was a good thing too. Pilot comes on the intercom. "For you passengers, we apologize for not having syrup for your pancakes this morning. " Pause............. " But you will be happy to know that the other flight found they had no pancakes." Laughter breaks out among us. Pancakes with Coke on them works out well.

I remember my sister and I took our kids to the West coast of the US from Australia in 1996, and they used to have a channel with ATC live on the plane and you could listen on your earphones. The kids were also allowed in the cockpit, so exciting for them (and me). Obviously before 9/11.

Good to see they are just goofing around and enjoying the chatter. Usually it’s very tense between the pilot and ATC

British Airways: Trying to get to the gate ATC: This, is a jetBlue plane British Airways: Dear God ATC: There's more British Airways: *NO!*

the "where do you want me?" "I want you in [Different City]!" bit always cracks me up

I love the escalation of "SEEYUH!". Kennedy Steve is also always a joy to hear.

I love the British- When the British Airlines pilot was communicating with the tower, I just started laughing louder!

I would be willing to bet that every pilot and ground controller lives for the day they can quote Airplane

That random "WHAT" got me 🤣 I wasn't ready for that

Gotta admire somebody with a good sense of humour 😸

So missing Kennedy Steve...

I miss Kennedy Steve. He was awesome

Yes….in the Navy. We had radios and we would report status on patrol on base One guy somehow managed to trip and his “FUCK!!” Was broadcasted Like many here, an officer demanded to know who gave that “fuck” Myself and the others, dutifully reported: “That is a negative on the fuck, sir, over” “No fucks were given sir.” “Can confirm, no fucks given here, sir.” “Sir, no fuck seen or given.” “The luck of the fuck not given sir.” We were drilled for our comedy It’s believed the officer laughed himself mute

Yeeha! short approach my fu***ing favorite!

3:06 Now that's what a pilot is ment to sound like!🤣

Tough job, good on them for having a little fun.

I can't blame them for having fun on a quiet day after having to be 100% professional on busy days. It's entertaining to listen to.

DLH 410: Have you been here on the radio about 4 hours ago when we came her? Kennedy Ground: I was not on the radio at that time. DHL 410: Ah shit! absolutely killed me 😂

It’s funny and wholesome hearing the exchanges between people from different countries. I like the exchanges between the American pilots/ATC and our British cousins in this. 😂

0:43 "ah sh¡t" Lmao

ATC: Sorry about that, I don't think he's had his coffee this morning- Other JFK air traffic controller: *Harry Potter and the Audacity of this air traffic controller* Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks

So nice to hear them talking lightly and chuckling. Very stressful job.

Some of those were pretty funny. Good to know true professionals are in charge!

Wonder if anyone started off with “Ground Control to major Tom” 😂

my favourite wasn't a tower conversation it was a hostess on the plane. She apologized for the captain's bouncy landing calling him Captain Kangaroo.

For times like this I'm so happy to know english and understand the jokes 🤣 this is hilarious

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P for pilot) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget!

I don't think he's had his coffee this morning.... W H A T ! ! 😂

2:07 and that, kids, is how I met your mother.

The funniest I've ever heard. 20 years ago, JFK Tower, Aircraft takes off then says to Tower " Kennedy Tower you got time for a quick question"?...a quarter second goes by..."We okay but I'm not too good with State Capitols"!

Pilots have to be the funniest breed of humans I know! The more I listen to these the more I can decipher what they’re saying without needing subtitles. Thanks for the great content! 👍🏼

It's nice to see actual pilots also liked the movie.

Tower: „Uhm I want you in Atlanta“ Pilot: „okay…how about Boston?“ Tower: „ that would be good too“ lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣

“That dude know he’s talking on a radio”😂

The banter between atc and 115 heavy had me smiling

Kennedy Steve is an absolute legend. Others have learned from him...

I must have picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue

I heard a great story (,I hope it's true,) about the legendary Chuck Yeager, apparently he had to guide down a damaged aircraft piloted by a much older and higher ranking Colonel. And Chuck kept calling the pilot "son",-------- ,"you're doing fine son, drop altitude a little son, turn left son." I think only Chuck could get away with that.😊

OMG I do miss Kennedy Steve so very much...

Kennedy Steve. A legend.

LMFAO It sounds almost like there's a regular guy in the ACT that's making jokes, I love that! This is freaking gold!

Nothing like hearing airline employees drop the age old Airplane! Jokes

😂😂🤣🤣I got water coming out my mouth, laughing soo hard, thanks, and bless you guys🙋👍

4:05 I love the banter XD

It gets me that in this day and age and with the technology we have, the comms are still so filled with static and unclear. If you turn the subtitles off, how much of this do you actually understand?

These controllers do a heck of a job. I got headsets on a flight once and listened to the tower. It took me 5 minutes to put them down. Way to stressful for me!!!

I like to think JFK would be proud that this is going on in his memorial airport

The film Airplane is over 40 years old and yet remains a cultural touchstone.

Gotta love seeing people having fun on their jobs.

I LOVE Kennedy Steve!! I hope he’s enjoying his retirement as much as his Pilot enjoyed him

1:46 had me in stiches, XD. No wonder I like games like Destiny 2 cause the dialogue is lot like listening to these. LOL I do wish I could have shared these with my dad cause the both of us always loved a good laugh and also we liked planes, he even knew how to fly a small plane and a paraglider. He was awesome!

People often forget that people doing these kinds of jobs are human too, so, everyone, from office workers to scientists often have this kinds of fun

@ 3:35 "No reason to rush!" LONG pause. "Oh Dear." XD

Is really good hearing Kennedy Steve...I miss him

3:36 I knew his response was going to be "oh dear"

"SEE YUH...UH!" "hehe." 😄

Hahaha brilliant! love the Airplane! Quotes 😁xx 😂😂🥰

As a retired controller who worked the NYC for 8 years, we learned how important it was during heavy traffic periods to use positive ATC control instructions to minimize misunderstanding and potentially conflicts…it was a lesson we took seriously however during slow periods a little humor and deviation from standard phraseology was good for both pilots and us.

The "WHAT!?" At 1:48 made me do the most indignation wheeze snort of my life. You got me so hard on that, haha

There's no Oh Dear like a British Oh Dear

I can just imagine the ATC ordering deliveroo and the pilot seeing them approaching the plane as the ATC says "here's your burger and fries you wanted"

Kennedy Steve is the best!

Buddy didn't have his coffee this morning lol 😆

Whenever someone says “Roger roger” like that I think of the computerized voice coming from the Battle Droids in Star Wars

"Yehaw short landing my fucking favourite" LMFAO

I wish I could be in the tower or on the ground when Lufthansa Yankee tango is there it’s my favorite 747

Ouch. The last pilot is definitely gonna get in trouble with the FAA for swearing on comms

i work at yvr (vancouver intl) usually during the morning rush of inbounds gotta say, when ba(in their a380) did come, they were always a fun group to have another fun one, to this day is the monday & wednesday dallas arrivals from AA. those guys are hilarious

Who doesn't miss Steve? Sigh.

3:39 (in the voice of Arnold Rimmer) Ohhhhhhhh dear! 😂

That 'heheh' was the cutest heheh I have ever heard heheh

I like when these are captioned. It’s easier to hear

The ATC in Boston roasting the JetBlue plane in the jets livery made my cry💀💀

1:48 When buzz said hes a space ranger

Delta 245: Do you want us to shut down or do you want us somewhere else? Ground: I want you in Atlanta! Delta 245: Ok... how about Boston?

Why on earth and skies there is so much banter with the Jet Blues? 😂

The random WHAT got me sobbing.

Yeeha! Short approach! My f****** favorite!

“Oh Dear” 😃😃😃