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Funny Stories from the Roman Army - Part 2 

Historia Militum
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In this video we cover 3 more funny stories and quite unbelievable stories from the ancient world of Rome. From sliding elephants to Roman democracy, these should give you some good insight into life from the eyes of a common soldier!
Sources:
-Livy. XLIV. 1-12
-Livy. XLV. 35-39
-Appian. B. Civ. I. 29-30
Intro (0:00)
Sponsor (0:16)
Invading in style! (1:04)
Roman democracy (5:28)
A display gone wrong (8:43)

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17 май 2024

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Комментарии : 156   
@jonrunargislason1884
@jonrunargislason1884 Год назад
If time machines where a thing , I assure you taking a trip back to see a bunch of elephants and a roman legion in full armor sliding down a mountain in stages would be a smash-hit day trip 🤣🤣🤣
@AlbertaGeek
@AlbertaGeek Год назад
Those soldiers, marching past bleachers full of time travellers: "Who the fuck are all those people watching us?"
@vinnieg6161
@vinnieg6161 Год назад
I bet they'd still be wearing tunics and sandals
@merchantlime8695
@merchantlime8695 Год назад
sir whats that t looks to be a guy standing on that hill looking at us next to a metal box hope he isent a scout
@CrixusOfGaul
@CrixusOfGaul Год назад
" If my centurion rolled off a cliff, should I follow him?" and the resounding answer was yes. Possibly the funniest thing I heard this week. Great video!
@vinnieg6161
@vinnieg6161 Год назад
That one made me laugh real hard ;P
@masterexploder9668
@masterexploder9668 6 месяцев назад
Centurions in general had a pretty bad life expectancy. As officers they were dressed in more fancy clothes to be recognizable to their troops, they also fought in frontlines and were not part of usual rotation of legionary lines. Their enemy also recognized them as well, because while Romans could call them barbarians, they were not stupid. Caesar in his journal wrote quite a lot about it, Gallic Wars were a tough business.
@B1ackWolf
@B1ackWolf Год назад
Romans: have you ever been on a rollercoaster Elephant:No Romans: Would you like to?
@TaRAAASHBAGS
@TaRAAASHBAGS 10 месяцев назад
Hannibal: Loses 3/4 of his army trudging them through the mountains. Romans: L O G I S T I C S
@Kazen169
@Kazen169 Год назад
"if my Centurion rolls off a cliff should i follow him?...Yes." LMAO!!!! oh I love these!
@dda40x1
@dda40x1 Год назад
Anyone that has ever been in the military knows the answer to that one.
@Kazen169
@Kazen169 Год назад
@@dda40x1 true facts :)
@maximusd26
@maximusd26 Год назад
"the romans are right behind this mountain ! this battle will decide our fates" *Sees romans rolling down from the cliffs*
@larsrons7937
@larsrons7937 Год назад
The Macedonian commander with his cup of wine, seeing small soldiers tumbling and elephants gracefully sliding down the mountainside, did he perhaps *wonder* if he'd had *too much wine?* I can assure you that last time *_I_* saw elephants and funny little men tumbling around I *know* that I'd had too much wine.
@katarinalove8649
@katarinalove8649 Год назад
Or an eye that can see the spirit world
@kasyfulwarith5983
@kasyfulwarith5983 Год назад
Elephants Rollin down the hill: Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch Legionaries Rollin down the hill: Looks like fun, lets join em.
@goldman77700
@goldman77700 5 месяцев назад
Only the Romans could turn a treacherous mountain crossing with Elephants into a Doneky Kong Country stage. My respect for them has tripled.
@NomicFin
@NomicFin Год назад
Amusingly there seems to be a recurring occurrence of Macedonian kings being forced to flee from the Romans half-dressed. Livius described how during the 2nd Punic war Macedonia joined the war on Hannibal's side and invaded Roman territory in what is now Albania. The Romans sent reinforcements, who caught up with the bulk of the Macedonian army while they were besieging a Roman city. The Romans originally planned to use the cover of the night to sneak some men into the besieged city to inform the defenders that help was coming soon, but while at it noticed the Macedonians were apparently not expecting any enemy reinforcements to arrive any time soon as their camp was completely unguarded with all the sentries asleep. So the Romans changed their plans and snuck up to the camp, getting in through the gates before anybody could raise an alarm. Caught completely unprepared, the Macedonian army descended into chaos and the king himself was forced to flee without even having the time to put on clothes, escaping in "a state of dress unfitting for a soldier, let alone a king", as Livius puts it.
@bravomike4734
@bravomike4734 Год назад
So this is why roman sentries that fell asleep on duty is punished so harshly.
@jellydamgood
@jellydamgood Год назад
Oh we would know if the elephants were traumatized alright. The fact that they are calm probably meant that they were quite pleased. Which is nice.
@MrJakson112
@MrJakson112 10 месяцев назад
I think that they were just pleased with anything that wasn't them being forced onto an active battlefield
@TaRAAASHBAGS
@TaRAAASHBAGS 10 месяцев назад
Fair treatment of elephants should be a guiding principle of civilization
@Zetact_
@Zetact_ Год назад
"Your highness, the Romans are sliding elephants down the mountain like a... Big elephant water-slide." "Just let them take the city, good show!"
@HistoriaMilitum
@HistoriaMilitum Год назад
More serious videos are in the making, guys… but for now, the Funny Roman army strikes again!!
@hung-upear2659
@hung-upear2659 Год назад
and I've got no right to take my place to the human race (Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths, 1986)
@user-wg8nb2uj8y
@user-wg8nb2uj8y Год назад
really like these type of vids. the last one had me dying :)
@larsrons7937
@larsrons7937 Год назад
@@user-wg8nb2uj8y That last one I never fully got. I did get _"body shaming"_ but exactly what was he ashamed of? Was he victim of the enemy's overeagerly form of _"body shaving,"_ was he missing important parts? Or did he merely have a sore behind, or...? It wasn't fully explained.
@larsrons7937
@larsrons7937 Год назад
The "elephants over the -Alps- mountains" story I will remember for a long time. I'm amazed I never heard it before. I'm really looking forward to the next video with funnies.
@JuliusCaesar888
@JuliusCaesar888 Год назад
LMFAO Elephants sliding down quietly because they know it's easier than the walk hahahaha.
@tediprifti4348
@tediprifti4348 Год назад
Bruh the elephant one is gold
@Hoi4o
@Hoi4o Год назад
I can just imagine the elephants going down the Roman slide, going "WEEEEEE"
@aleksandarstoichev5463
@aleksandarstoichev5463 Год назад
I've watched many comedy movies and animations but that particular moment at 2:43 just took me back years ago into my mid childhood 😂 Great video as always thx for providing us again!
@HistoriaMilitum
@HistoriaMilitum Год назад
That’s great to hear and I am very glad you enjoyed! More on the way :)
@espaniolfanog1970
@espaniolfanog1970 Год назад
7:55 😂 I love this part
@songohan3321
@songohan3321 Год назад
"Violence is never the answer unless the right question is asked."
@lordpowell3788
@lordpowell3788 Год назад
I'm going to open a gun store and name it "tools of democracy"
@libertycowboy2495
@libertycowboy2495 Год назад
I may steal that! 😂
@eimantasbutkus5324
@eimantasbutkus5324 Год назад
"Insurance of liberty" would be more accurate.
@GarryDKing
@GarryDKing Год назад
So they built sleds and a protoype rail system to haul each elephant down the mountain, but they didn't think to sled down like they did for their chonky tanks? I imagine it woulda been far easier than rolling down in full armor and weapons jabbing ya all the way...
@molybdaen11
@molybdaen11 Год назад
I guess the had not enough time for that.
@Crangaso
@Crangaso Год назад
How I wish US Congress would more be like Roman. I would love to see a Red & Blue Royal Rumble!!
@jamescashin5637
@jamescashin5637 Год назад
I would bet on Red... They have the guns!
@ReaperCH90
@ReaperCH90 Год назад
The USA is probably more roman late republic than you'd wish for
@Crangaso
@Crangaso Год назад
@@jamescashin5637 Of course! Hand-to-hand only
@Crangaso
@Crangaso Год назад
@@ReaperCH90 Rome had a Purge Night. .
@vinnieg6161
@vinnieg6161 Год назад
They are pretty Roman if you ask me. They take that ''Violence is never the answer, it's the solution'' to heart.
@philippschwartzerdt3431
@philippschwartzerdt3431 Год назад
As always romans engineered the sh*t out of every challenge presented in their way 😂😂😂
@brianfreeburg3469
@brianfreeburg3469 Год назад
The Roman's were true minecraft fans XD
@AdelVinss
@AdelVinss Год назад
Yay Part 2! Let’s gooooooo 🙌🏻
@nothingleft3473
@nothingleft3473 Год назад
I absolutely love when the music changes from serious war music to that fun and slightly goofy music 😂
@christosangelopoulos7694
@christosangelopoulos7694 Год назад
Imagine walking close to mount Olympus in the 3rd Macedonian wars and seeing a Roman war elegant sliding down the slope of the mountain.
@speechless7478
@speechless7478 Год назад
A new way of conquering a world, sliding down the hill, to make enemy die laughing
@mikevictory9455
@mikevictory9455 Год назад
Thank you guys! Keep up these unique humor vids on the legions!
@cjclark2002
@cjclark2002 Год назад
He should of known how immature the soldiers would react, cmon. I mean these are the same people with ancient graffiti art of dongs and crude inscriptions everywhere.
@maximilian_k.2453
@maximilian_k.2453 Год назад
Really enjoyed todays show! Very well researched and even presented with a delicate touch of humor, keep it up!
@firekid631122
@firekid631122 2 месяца назад
Sucks that this episode didn’t get as many views - I loved this one and the last fun stories episodes
@micahistory
@micahistory Год назад
That's a really funny story about elephants. The romans sure were ingenious
@jobengals86
@jobengals86 11 месяцев назад
that first story actually brought tears to my eyes with laughter, hilariously well told my friend, great video.
@micahistory
@micahistory Год назад
Lol would've never expected a story about a Roman commander stripping himself naked...
@joeblack9525
@joeblack9525 Год назад
Actually fights in parliament are good indicators of democracy. They never happen in autocratic countries parliament, cos difference of opinions are impossible and no reason to fight there.
@danielg3924
@danielg3924 Год назад
great point, humans be humans after all, can't help but want to pull each other's hair every once in a while
@RexGalilae
@RexGalilae Год назад
Yep but as we can see, too much democracy is inefficient too and polarisations eat at the country from within We saw this decay in the late Roman Republic and are starting to see it today
@devildogu1284
@devildogu1284 Год назад
Yoooo awsoooome vidz keep em uuup
@thehybrid4608
@thehybrid4608 Год назад
I was having rough times, for a couple days. But, thankfully - your video gave me heartily chuckle.
@borislee3170
@borislee3170 Год назад
Constantine's legion is here !!!
@whyarepeoplesubscribingtom9861
more series like this please
@jarnMod
@jarnMod Год назад
We need more of these. Never enough
@clarkstartrek
@clarkstartrek 5 месяцев назад
“Clad in his purple-bordered toga and preceded by his twelve crimson-clad lictors, all bearing the axes in their bundles of rods, Gaius Popillus Laenas walked east. Now he was not a young man, so as he went he leaned upon a tall staff, his pace as placid as his face. Since only the brave and heroic and noble Romans built decent roads, he was soon walking along through thick dust. But was Gaius Popillus Laenas deterred? No! He just kept on walking, until near the huge hippodrome in which the Alexandrians liked to watch the horse races, he ran into a wall of Syrian soldiers, and had to stop. “King Antiochus IV of Syria came forward, and went to meet Gaius Popillius Laenas. “‘Rome has no business in Egypt!’ the King said, frowning awfully and direfully. “‘Syria has no business in Egypt either,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas, smiling sweetly and serenely. “‘Go back to Rome,’ said the King. “‘Go back to Syria,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas. “But neither of them moved a single inch. “‘You are offending the Senate and People of Rome,' said Gaius Popillius Laenas after a while of staring into the King’s fierce face. ‘I have been ordered to make you return to Syria.’ “The King laughed and laughed and laughed. ‘And how are you going to make me go home?’ he asked. ‘Where is your army?’ “‘I have no need of an army, King Antiochus IV,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas. ‘Everything that Rome is, has been, and will be, is standing before you here and now. I am Rome, no less than Rome’s largest army. And in the name of Rome, I say to you a further time, go home!’ “‘No,’ said King Antiochus IV. “So Gaius Popillius Laenas stepped forward, and moving sedately, he used the end of his staff to trace a circle in the dust all the way around the person of King Antiochus IV, who found himself standing inside Gaius Popillius Laenas’s circle. “‘Before you step out of this circle, King Antiochus IV, I advise you to think again,’ said Gaius Popillius Laenas. ‘And when you do step out of it - why, be facing east, and go home to Syria.’ “The King said nothing. The King did not stir. Gaius Popillius Laenas said nothing. Gaius Popillius Laenas did not stir. Since Gaius Popillius Laenas was a Roman and did not need to hide his face, his sweet and serene countenance was on full display. But King Antiochus IV hid his face behind a curled and wired wigbeard, and even then could not conceal its thunder. Time went on. And then, still inside the circle, the mighty King of Syria turned on his heel to face east, and stepped out of the circle in an easterly direction, and marched back to Syria with all his soldiers.” Colleen McCullough, The First Man in Rome, pp.265 - 266,
@olympusentertainment2638
@olympusentertainment2638 Год назад
Love it, need it, got to have it.
@user-cl5vx9em4e
@user-cl5vx9em4e 11 месяцев назад
They laughed at his small ding dong😂😂
@boii3542
@boii3542 Год назад
Would love to see more of these! Great video :D
@MM22966
@MM22966 Год назад
"WANNA COME ELEPHANT SLEDDING WITH ME???!"
@giannisbalis7369
@giannisbalis7369 Год назад
We need more of these videos !
@LordWyatt
@LordWyatt Год назад
Why don’t we just use our shields to slide down like the elephants. Are you disobeying a direct order, Quintus? …Damnit
@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez
@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez Год назад
Quintus that shield is not yours to misuse! Now shut up and roll down the mountain like the others! :)
@LordWyatt
@LordWyatt Год назад
@@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez yes Imperator
@arshisspeed5668
@arshisspeed5668 Год назад
Ah yes, this is the history we should be taught in schools I never got to learn about how civilized the Romans were in their debates, or how amazing their military tactics of sliding down mountains were 🥴
@yashbheda3335
@yashbheda3335 Год назад
Make part 3
@bilboplayedminecraft3322
@bilboplayedminecraft3322 Год назад
I'm very glad I found this channel
@jeffbeland3280
@jeffbeland3280 8 месяцев назад
"A swelling in the groin." A badly healed wound? Or an STI?
@benderrodriguez5425
@benderrodriguez5425 Год назад
Bodyshaming then: hah!! You got scarred in a fight. Bodyshaming now: you live an unhealthy lifestyle, take care of yourself.
@emmanuelcolar7032
@emmanuelcolar7032 Год назад
Pls do more of this, also was playing war thunder while listening lol
@cmsxjc
@cmsxjc 11 месяцев назад
This video is a testament to the subjectivity of comedy
@TrentCantrell
@TrentCantrell Год назад
This may be the most eloquent rebuttle to having your junk laughed at. Great content.
@Fish-ub3wn
@Fish-ub3wn 11 месяцев назад
wow this is sooo good.
@robertjarman3703
@robertjarman3703 Год назад
That bathtub scene makes me think of Archimedes.
@SarimDeLaurec
@SarimDeLaurec Год назад
On be bit with the rolling down the mountains I kinda expected a yeti somewhere on the foot of the mountain.
@fpvillegas9084
@fpvillegas9084 13 дней назад
I think Napoleon and his army also did this during the Marengo campaign in 1800.
@hashbrownz1999
@hashbrownz1999 11 месяцев назад
Elephants are *really* smart. They probably did, in fact, enjoy the rollercoaster ride. At least a little.
@zigastupar
@zigastupar Год назад
Invasion i love it romans pulled so crazy move that Macedonians just surrendered
@benketengu
@benketengu Год назад
Thank you
@Ncertshahayyi
@Ncertshahayyi Год назад
More legion videos
@JuliusCaesar888
@JuliusCaesar888 Год назад
MORE MORE MORE FUNNY STORIES FROM ROOOOOME
@gmanbo
@gmanbo Год назад
Why haven't I herd of this before 😭😭😭😭. The great roman army sled race 😭😭😭
@trolol3pacanov
@trolol3pacanov Год назад
Finally we got a new video
@1987SOMAR
@1987SOMAR 11 месяцев назад
Tools of diplomacy 😅😅😂😂
@BLASTIC0
@BLASTIC0 Год назад
MORE! MORE! MORE!
@CartoonHistory
@CartoonHistory Год назад
2:24 but the most trouble were the elephants! hahaha yep.
@digge2210
@digge2210 Год назад
After this, Hannibal march in the alp is pure comedy
@mitraajdgargantua7960
@mitraajdgargantua7960 Год назад
anyone can explain what wound is exactly the "sweling in the groin" @9:38 ? please
@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez
@JonEtxebeberriaRodriguez Год назад
It seems that the guy might have had one of his genitals disproportionately bigger than the other
@zalaweyker8007
@zalaweyker8007 Год назад
Probably he had sores or bruises on his unmentionables from having to ride a horse in tough conditions. Possibly even blisters.
@SlayerGodOfDeath
@SlayerGodOfDeath Год назад
tool of democracy , sound like how my school work with other school ??
@bastet9994
@bastet9994 Год назад
The drawing at 4:36 screams "eureka" to me.
@owim
@owim Год назад
cool
@HoneyBadger1779
@HoneyBadger1779 Год назад
8:25 You should read Charles Dickens commentary on the American Congress pre Anerican -civil War. It was so dysfunctional that France and Britain ( The European powers are really just a big family fighting over land) influenced the civil War because they wanted to take their land back and figured they could, and they wanted to stop the cotton price skyrocket.
@RENATVS_IV
@RENATVS_IV Год назад
Funny indeed! We have to acknowledge the creativity, especially with the elephants xD
@KatonRyu
@KatonRyu Год назад
I imagine any Macedonian in the mountains that day would've picked up some excellent Latin swears as an entire legion tumbled down the mountainside.
@ICaligvla
@ICaligvla 11 месяцев назад
Someone should make a semi-historical Brooklyn 99 style comedy of Rome 😭🤣😂
@bigcoin7939
@bigcoin7939 Год назад
where can i sign up for this lmao
@egillskallagrimson5879
@egillskallagrimson5879 Год назад
I shit myself laughing, no kidding xDDD
@bengunter6219
@bengunter6219 Год назад
Who in there right mind would challenge a bunch of veterans to a street battle
@SebastianA.W.
@SebastianA.W. Год назад
roman democracy is the best, if no sensible agreement can be reached trough reasonable means, unreasonable means shall be adopted to beat some sense into the more dense.
@travisteriele2903
@travisteriele2903 Год назад
Only the names change not the man.
@dukesilver702
@dukesilver702 Год назад
MORE
@giannispsillias7964
@giannispsillias7964 Год назад
That’s some oversimplified sh*t right here hahahaha
@richardhaw9757
@richardhaw9757 Год назад
thats probably a hernia
@micahistory
@micahistory Год назад
Please visit Micahistory 2, it would mean a lot!
@molybdaen11
@molybdaen11 Год назад
Does that mean that jears on horseback do horrible things to your spear?
@Jreb1865
@Jreb1865 Год назад
Those nutty Romans...lol
@aramisortsbottcher8201
@aramisortsbottcher8201 Год назад
10:10 why is he turning sideways though?
@DickDickerson01
@DickDickerson01 Год назад
See violence solves problems kids!
@martino7263
@martino7263 Год назад
What wrong had the guy in the last scene? I didn't get it.
@Fatherofheroesandheroines
@Fatherofheroesandheroines Год назад
Elephant tobagoning?
@r0ky_M
@r0ky_M Год назад
169 B.C. first recorded snowboarding elephants.
@chickenassasintk
@chickenassasintk Год назад
My like and comment
@da_poopoo_dealer3152
@da_poopoo_dealer3152 Год назад
Within the first minute of the video i was thrown off by the war thunder advertisement as im playing war thunder. I love this game, although heroin would be a better way to waste my life😁
@davidblakley6806
@davidblakley6806 Год назад
FALL IN down the mountain
@ringdk1830
@ringdk1830 Год назад
Sounds like politics alright
@anhdang1502
@anhdang1502 Год назад
🤣🤣🤣
@90candelarioL
@90candelarioL Год назад
I think people forget, all people who lived before us regardless of the empires they belonged to acted like selfish immature people 😂
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