LSo it's been a month since you posted. I'm dropping a line e to give you support, no matter where you are on the journey. Just remember that waking up tomorrow morning is another chance to love yourself, and you're worth loving. ❤
I’m glad you discovered Gabor before it’s too late - but it’s really important to remember that recovery is a lifelong process. I’ve had cancer 3 times - last time was stage IV - 6 years later I am still on my healing journey. I will never be cured, but every day, through self-care, I am in a state of healing, and in that state, a cancer cannot grow. Self-care self-compassion and a strong belief in your own ability to heal yourself, that’s the recipe for lifelong healing.
Growing up in the early 1960's in school I was told, " you better straighten up, you better straighten up". I was just trying to cope with a shell shocked WWII and Korean War veteran dad who would flash back and try to kill my mom, ( an Austrian , war bride) and myself because we were Chinese. There was absolutely zero understanding from anyone in control of my life, so eventually I turned to drugs and alcohol. I'm thirty years clean now. Thank God.
Having listened to Dr. MATÉ 's talks has provided my soul with a sense of relief, that my inner feelings about myself and life are understood by another human being. Thank you so much Dr. MATÉ.❤🎉😊
I stop whatever I’m doing to watch and listen when Dr. Maté speaks. Then I internalize the wisdom, weep in gratitude and go to sleep. Thank you, Dr. Maté for your gracious knowledge.
Love this man. He speaks to my inner child. I started with depression at 12. Was sexually abused by my ex brother in law at about 14 and at 32 was a full blown IV heroin addict. Ive been clean for over ten years. Im 58 now and three years ago i found out that my ( overbearing, enmeshed but loving ) mother knew all along and it triggered me. Its driving me crazy. I truly believe i have to resolve this and heal. It hurts my kids and damages me daily. My addiction was absolutely brought on by my depression and shame from being SA'd. I have toxic shame. I can understand my mom didn't know what to do but it haunts me and distances me from her that she never acknowledged it but more so that she never asked me if i was ok. I was not ok. Im looking at why my mom did this at the same time as looking at myself as a mother Its a complete mind f##k. Ive always been told im too sensitive and impossible to talk to. Im a damn child in a 58 year old womans body. Thank you Dr Mate you help heal me.❤
I'm so sorry this happened to you! I identify and admire your strength & courage. I hope it's okay to say: I found a safe place to process and work on healing from SA on the SIAcominghomephoneline.
he's not a psychoanalyst.he's a medical doctor who worked in hospice and listened to dying patients in midlife tell their stories, concluding that most of them had personalities that led them to take care of others but not themselves, and had traumatic histories. he was fired for devoting so much time listening to them. then he went on to work with drug addicts on the street.
Thank God for Gabor Maté, all he stands for, teaches, and all the people that listen, learn and believe him! How MUCH the world needs this information and to do the healing work!!! ❤
Thank you. This explains so much as to why I am not an addicted person and my mother was. It's how you react to the trauma that matters. She wasn't sick she was traumatized.
More traumatizing than the bullying I suffered in school was my mother's reaction, when I complained about it afterwards: "What did you do to provoke it?" And her shitty advice: "Ignore it."
Gabor, God bless you…you will get through, to the middle, and then through it, to the end of tears. (“It IS always darkest before the dawn.”) The reason for the lack of understanding and acceptance of being able to make oneself “available” to really “hear” what people are saying, from deep within, is just plain old “fear of being vulnerable” or honest….truthful with ourselves and others. When people meet someone who is hurting, they will try to talk a person out of it, or get frustrated and shut down the hurt person in some way, with an insult, or a name, or passive-aggressive gossip, later…BUT most refuse to validate the hurt, or acknowledge it. “It might hurt their image”. Problem is that we now have a “gaping wound” in our culture, that WILL be in our faces, in many problematic ways. Naughty children “act out”…if you would take the older “stance”. How about “hurt people, hurt people.”?
Gabor is acknowledging what many Protestant Christians have found comfort in “knowing” of Christ , in their lives. He was all about having a healthy honesty and care in relationships…in fact He came to “re connect” us with our Heavenly Father, so that we can connect in a healthy and honest way with each other….with respect for each other’s emotional needs to have healthy expression of who we are, as individuals.❤😊
I think the main reason teen girls experience depression is because at that tender age, she is still insecure AND she is discovering her higher self worth and autonomy WHILE also unfortunately coming to the realization that her gender is grossly, sexually objectified in a sexist culture. It’s conflicting and overwhelming for a girl.
Thank you for this. I believe though,that alcohol stands out from other addictions. Listening to thousands of top tables ,I believe alcoholic parents have a tendency to produce some or all alcoholic offspring.
Dank u wel !Zo inspirerend ! zijn eerlijkheid oprechtheid en zoveel kennis en onderzoek. dankbaar dat ik nu mijn trauma kan herkennen...onderzoeken en kan inzien en aan kan werken. bewustzijn.
Another Goody I spread the Mate peeps all over this community where I live in upstate NY I love Aaron and Katie Halper as well on their show Usefull Idiots Would love to bump into them someday and say hello and Thank You! In person and make them some scones to boot
Love Gabor, but I think he is a little harsh on Jordan Peterson. And to say he hopes Peterson is never on that platform (whether he means it or not) shows a bias and maybe jelousy towards him. This was a nice talk. Hearing Gabor felt very therapeutic.
Dr Maté describes how indigenous people and people of colour are predisposed to certain illnesses more than other demographic groups. He said that these things are a social malaise. Has no one yet asked what might be in the water? Another doctor did. What he found should alarm everyone. If you were bitten by a rattlesnake or a tiger snake would you go to emergency for monoclonal antibodies?
He deserves all the recognition he can possibly be awarded as in doing so we can share awareness of his work. We all know what he says is vital information to share far and wide ❤
"I think this is a deciding crisis". I retired from my Addiction Medicine and Psychiatry practice of 42 yrs. a decade ago, to work on myself and stay sober for 12 yrs. now. I was the Acting Medical director of an inpatient population of sexual/physical/spiritual abuse program in Grand Rapids, MI. I have always worked with abuse survivors, even in the face of strong pushback from mental health clinic administrators and insurance companies. Gabor is a fellow Hungarian ancestral descendent. He is one of my heroes and his wonderful book, "The Myth of Normal" is a must read to understand addiction and our traumatic society, filled with trauma survivors, at least in my 12-step meetings. Thanks for this presentation.
Gabor Mate is one of the FEW psychoanalysts that i would trust to not have financial or power agenda. What he is talking about is a HUGE problem in our culture, and he is a brave physician to speak out about the “roots of addictive behaviors. Most people are totally in denial about what kind of help is truly needed. And there are so MANY who need emotional attention and understanding. Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional families was my introduction to my lack of emotional growth, in 1984, or so. Lots of 12-steppers know what i am taking about. Thank you Gabor. Keep the “light” on.
Does anyone remember seeing, in the Wizard of Oz, the scene where the storm happened, and the wicked witch landed under the house?? If you will remember Glenda, the Good fairy, said to all the hiding “little folks”, “Come out…Come out…the wicked witch is dead”. This is what Gabor is part of. I pray for him. He sincerely cares.❤😊
This man is the light! If only I could send to my ex in a compassionate way. After 24 yrs I had to safe myself , realizing his trauma was not mine. During times of non addictive use I felt him have joy, sadly fleeing. I grew with these videos, his trauma was not my responsibility. Thank you Dr M for helping me with new discoveries 😊
As a clinician, I share Dr. Mate's work all of the time and continue to expand my knowledge. I have been so frustrated with Psychiatrists, and I am realizing so many of them are not trauma-informed! I have had numerous clients who have been diagnosed with Bi-Polar, anxiety, and depression, thrown a bunch of medication, but trauma history was NEVER asked about. I would say over 98% of my clients have childhood trauma that is impacting their lives today. I used Attachment Theory in conjunction with trauma-focused care. I also am EMDR trained and have had a large majority of my clients reduce symptomatology fairly quickly as I educate them about trauma's impact on our bodies. I also educate about the huge overlap of trauma and ADD. I honestly thought more professionals knew, but then I had to remind myself, I wasn't trained in this either. All my learning has been personal searching and lot's of personal drive toward ongoing professional learning. Thank you, Gabor!
Ongoing professional development is the name of the game. Sadly, for many understandable but inexcusable reasons many in the field don’t dedicate themselves this way and hide behind their professional title.
Not that Gabor would think he deserves a Nobel prize or to be noted for his work in humanitarianism, his ego is not there whatsoever but he totally is worthy of such things. In a world where there is so much hate and hostiliry, he is a voice of a gentle dove that we need. We are incredibly blessed to be graced with him. I'm so glad I have come across him. He gives me hope.
@@giselabottcher3184 that is a great idea and one worth pursuing. However, I do not know where the petition would go for consideration to award him with a nobel peace prize? I am from Australia myself so would not know how it would work in the European countries?
It’s exactly because he doesn’t have that arrogant ego that many “famous” people have that he is so admired and credible. He can admit his faults and be honest about the lifelong process of self actualizinv rather than pretending to be perfect like some do!
One of the very few in the medical profession who comes public with research results and practice experiences very personal completely honest and committed to generations suffering. Personal appearance is more effective than standing behind publications only. Thanks for the great TALK interview 🙏
When is the last time this guy went to visit his son? The thing is many parents expect the grown child to visit them but when the table is turned the parent will not leave the comfort zone, although they expect others to leave their comfort zone.
Addiction is the primary problem if it's life threatening. my personal mantra that has formed over the course of 20 years is, "Don't teach a drowning man how to swim." Get him or her or them out of the water first. Once a person has gone beyond being able to make new choices in their addiction, it becomes communities' responsibility to help them at least survive, stabilize, so they might have a moment of personal clarity. Not many have that in the midst of the body struggling for breath.
I am so thrilled with the prospect of ridding myself of the shame which was never mine to own. I am working on a poem because it will be help me see it from various prospective and I am anxious to see where it goes.
If we think children are alienated, stressed, and increasingly suffering from "the diseases of despair", just wait to see what's coming. Save them from that inevitable suffering. CONTRACEPTION.
In Afrika they're grown up when they're 2 years!different cultures..but the death sentence is something which drags down the quality of a country's culture. We can seek!
Thanks Zillions 🙏 For such Wonderful Insight Dr Gabor ...MAY YOU LIVE INFINITE Years to Impart Your this Precious knowledge To Mankind ..Shiv GOD Blessings To You n Your Family ( From Nepal 🇳🇵)
I am debilitated and paralyzed with panic attacks. HOW THE FUCK COULD HE DO THIS TO ME? HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW????? I'm all alone in the world. Desperately painfully ridiculously: ALONE. I'm in hell: with no escape. I don't see a way out. I'm drowning, suffocating. I'm in so much pain. Submerged in darkness and blackness. Flooded with terror. No light at the end of the tunnel. My only prayer is to die. This pain is killing me. Trauma and emotional turmoil. I am miserable and devastated. I hyperventilate with panic attacks. I CANNOT, DO NOT: BREATHE. I am abandoned and betrayed; discarded like last week's garbage!!! I just want to die! I can no longer bear this hell that I'm in. I just don't breathe. The pain is too unbearable. Panic and terror and trauma flood every cell of my being. I'm so desperately all alone. My world, my life: was changed, completely, in an instant. My heart is shattered. My soul is raped. I have severe PTSD. SEVERE SEVERE SEVERE. I am left devastated and despaired. I am anguished and tormented. I am haunted and I am in agony. I am terrified and I am traumatized. I AM DESPERATE FOR PRAYER. THIS EMOTIONAL TURMOIL IS TORTURE. DROWNING. SUFFOCATING. I am traumatized. every cell of my being is submerged in PTSD. he raped me. my so-called best friend; he raped me. maliciously intentionally viciously brutally intensely: raped my soul. discarded me like garbage. CONSTANT PANIC. having the devil inside him, is a legit explanation for what he's done to me... how will I get through this? how will I heal from this? he purged all his dysfunctions onto me... because he's unhealed and because he's fucked, I ended up being the collateral damage to his un-wellness!! HOW WILL I EVER HEAL? I HAVE SEVERE PTSD. SEVERE SEVERE SEVERE. he's given me severe PTSD. SEVERE SEVERE SEVERE. some of the most toxic and sick people come disguised as people that love you... he came disguised as my best friend... I AM DYING OF EMOTIONAL PAIN. THE GRIEF AND TERROR ARE ALL-CONSUMING. the darkness. the despair. the rage. THE PANIC. OH. MY. GOD. THE. PANIC!!! the person whom I thought was my best friend discarded me like garbage. replaced me with another. I desperately want to escape the pain that I'm in: debilitating paralyzing all-consuming hyperventilating panic and grief... he violently brutally viciously maliciously raped my soul. abandoned and betrayed me. and now I don't breathe. CAN'T BREATHE. I'm desperately trying to remember this. please, God, help me remember: ✨💖✨ I was created from all light, for I am light, I fear no darkness. for being light, I can see beyond darkness!!! 💫 "Don't look for healing at the same feet of those who broke you." - Rupi Kaur Feelings are just feelings. They are not facts! They are not me! And I can let them go! ♥♥♥ God is using my feelings to train and heal my heart and my soul, for a new healthy true-love relationship: with my twin-flame... - The highest most love that I deserve, I must give that to myself, first! - In a state of loving myself, I will attract, and be attracted to: the same kind of person. - I must STOP emptying my own cup for someone that is not pouring into mine. - Love finds me! * "Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion." * - Rumi (The antidote to chaos, isn’t order! It’s harmony!)
I think, that being “personal” with those you are able to be “personal” with, is the solution. That is why there is no “blanket solution”, on a “large scale”. Caring for someone, personally, and sharing yourself with someone, (if you have it to give healthily) may encourage that one to “feel” connection that we all need. To “know” and to be “known”. It can not be “mass produced”, which is what we usually resort to, unfortunately. “Personal”, when it is agreed upon, with someone else, brings relief from stress and a feeling that you are NOT alone, which can frighten people who think that. “Personal” doesn’t make $$$.
That's a good question. I imagine he would love to know too. It seems to me like he is trying to point out that society's view on what the problem is isn't correct and is trying to bring more clarity about what the issue is as a first step. I don't think he really knows what the solution is. I don't think anybody has a proper solution yet especially since most don't even have an accurate view on the problems. (Which is what Dr. Maté seems to be trying to help correct.)
A lot of the diseases he is talking about if not all, can be linked to diet, and the reason indigenous people have such worse outcomes, is because they have had a lot less time to develop to western diets and plants, and the reason things are getting so much worse recently is because we are eating more foods that humans should not be eating! Now, when it comes to trauma, it is very likely we are going to do more of the things that cause these toxicities!
BTW my arthritis symptoms have completely disappeared since eating mostly meat, hay-fever has subsided by about 90%, there are thousands of people who's diseases have disappeared through diet!
So much value, I always feel blown away every time I listen to Dr Gabor I ALWAYS learn something new. What was the Bessel book Gabor was referring to? Is he referring to Bessel Van Der Kolt?
Everyone wants to see a better health care system but do they want to do the work necessary to change the politics around what governs these changes? We can talk forever of the problems but who will stand up in courage and compassion to see this happen?
" ....but who will stand up in courage and compassion to see this happen?" Everyone, each individual on his own for example. The more people realize those very broad facts, the more stand up for this. Everyone is responsible at first on his own.
For a very long time, I’m sorry to admit, that the Christian Church in America, has said that “expressing emotions’” or “trusting” them was a no-no. In their search for Biblical Truth, they have “missed” the compassion expressed by Jesus Christ. In John 5:39, Jesus tells the “rule makers” of the culture that those “rules” are about ME. “You DON’T KNOW ME. You learned the “rules” but you have no heart,” or “feeling” for anyone”. It is true of many people today.
Yes, they’ll preach to the hurting but are unwilling to be personal or to reveal any vulnerability that makes a connection, leaving one feel all the more alone for having opened up to share.
