Ghosting and other dating horrors

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Ghosting is a real issue when it comes to dating online - how should we as Christians be living and responding to it? Tanya Wylie joins Lauren Windle on the sofa for Season with SALT: Ghosting and other dating horrors.
Comment if you think Lauren should share this video with the guy who stood her up!
0:00 - intro
0:48 - levels of ghosting
1:40 - have you ghosted?
2:49 - should Christians ghost?
3:39 - I got ‘BIG’ ghosted
5:22 - I got stood up
11:51 - what should you say when you’ve been ghosted?
13:23 - comment to share this video with ghosting guy
13:36 - summary
Tanya talks us through the levels of ghosting and the mistakes she’s made. Lauren speaks about her experience of being stood up. And we hear from the audience about what they would say if they got ghosted.
Follow Lauren on Instagram: / _lauren_celeste
Read her book NOTES ON LOVE: www.amazon.co.uk/Notes-Love-S...
Follow Tanya on Instagram: / tanya.wylie.92
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Опубликовано:

25 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 96

@laurencebarnes9298 2 года назад

Ghosting is so bizarre (Outside of dangerous relationships), there isn't any (or very little) investment, so the fact that someone can't just drop a small message to say "Sorry, I'm not really feeling this, but I'd love to pursue a friendship.", that a person can't show such a simple level of respect is a red flag to me anyway. I think as Christians it's a problematic secular behaviour that needs to be addressed. But that's just my take, love others as you love yourself, God bless x

@be_salt 2 года назад

All about loving your neighbour

@TokioTE 2 года назад

👏💯 Yes, same goes for non-dating ghosting i.e. any type of (non-dangerous) relationship ❤️

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

A red flag to me is when someone gets focussed on being ghosted instead of trusting God that there’s a reason it’s fizzled out... maybe they don’t want a friendship...maybe they are just moving on and it can be awkward explaining that to someone without hurting their feelings sometimes...God bless x

@laurencebarnes9298 2 года назад

@@butterflyyy8639 It didn't "fizzle out" though. Lauren was invited on a date and he didn't show up, with no warning. I just can't see how that's acceptable to do to another person in a loving way

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

“ Dating is only for you when you’re in a place where you feel resilient”... What a great comment!! 😊

@be_salt 2 года назад

So true!

@raes-world 2 года назад

Please send him this video 🤣 Loved this ladies, you are both delightful 🧡 x

@sunnylo813 2 года назад

I‘ve loved this chat!!!!! Please continue

@be_salt 2 года назад

Plenty more where that came from!

@fionaxxx3222 2 года назад

Great help ,thank you lovely ladies!

@be_salt 2 года назад

Glad it was helpful!

@darrenrozier1438 2 года назад

Very entertaining and informative. Thanks ladies!

@be_salt 2 года назад

You're welcome - more to come every Friday

@NaviAulkh77 2 года назад

Thank you for being so real. The single dating scene does come with its challenges and it’s so good that you are addressing them and also helping people deal with some of these issues. Ps I hope you sent him the link

@be_salt 2 года назад

Glad you enjoyed

@nazineful 2 года назад

This was so relatable! 😂 Thanks for sharing xxx

@be_salt 2 года назад

Glad you enjoyed

@nora-er2oy 2 года назад

Send him the link 😂👏🏼

@ikeekwueme3209 2 года назад

This was very entertaining and insightful 🤣💡...Thanks for the vulnerability ladies! Personally, I don't think it would be a bad idea to ask the guy why he didn't turn up. If he doesn't respond to that message - that's cool. Pray for him, move on and add it to your list of dating experiences. You've tried your best! 😁

@be_salt 2 года назад

Great idea to pray for him

@marcio5583 2 года назад

Absolutely love this...talking in truth.❤

@be_salt 2 года назад

Thanks!

@tonyatthebeach 2 года назад

The answer to being ghosted is to focus on you. The more you focus on you, the less it'll bother you, and allow you to wait for the right connection

@be_salt 2 года назад

And God will always get you through

@Gloriomono 2 года назад

That was really insightful and you two are so sweet. Since so many people are also new to online-dating, what are your suggestions on how to let someone know you are no longer interested, especially after casually chatting for some time?

@be_salt 2 года назад

We think they're great too!

@bethanmills9802 2 года назад

Yeah I'd love to hear some suggestions for how to end a conversation well without any ambiguity!

@suziekennedy 2 года назад

Omg! I loved this lauren . Especially the comments . Not cool buddy , not cool lol

@be_salt 2 года назад

Ha, glad you liked it!!

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

I hope he didn’t get hit by a bus!! I have to say though, imo if he stood you up then it was his loss because you’re gorgeous and a lovely person... maybe God was protecting you 🥰

@be_salt 2 года назад

Totally agree!

@Janz-jd1qd 2 года назад

I think we expect better behaviour from Christians. I've had worst behaviour from "Christian" men than with guys on Match or Salt. It's really demoralising. Refreshing to hear I'm not the only person this happens to. 🙏❤️

@Janz-jd1qd 2 года назад

Or Bumble I meant! Not Salt. ❤️

@highpriesttv 2 года назад

Some people are still baby Christians…

@jo355 2 года назад

Thank you so much. It hurts when more because you expect so much better 😪

@Janz-jd1qd 2 года назад

@@jo355 Yes, we do expect more. But people are people and Christians are not perfect. Its not just men, women do this too of course. I'm in my late fifties and it appears some people dont improve with age!

@be_salt 2 года назад

Haha, glad to hear you weren't being ghosted loads on SALT! But I'm sure it happens on every app, unfortunately. Sorry to hear you've been hurt by it. Let's have grace for each other as we navigate through this - online dating is so vulnerable isn't it?!

@Broomeyx 2 года назад

SEND THE LINK!!

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

We need to toughen up and trust God with it...my 2 cents... if you get stood up, still go out and enjoy yourself; God is great company, and so are you!! 🥰🦋

@be_salt 2 года назад

He's the best company!

@paulo7507 2 года назад

if someone ghosts you it means they are not interested. Yes its very immature to do that but some people dont have the decency o let someone know they are no longer interested. Sucks but happens alot to both men and women

@be_salt 2 года назад

True, hopefully it will happens less if we have more conversation about it. We can always be growing in love as a Church

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

Cosplay??!! Are you a Christian??!! 😦

@paulo7507 2 года назад

@@butterflyyy8639 what on earth are you on about, what is wrong with cosplay?

@havenshank 2 года назад

Send him the link indeed!!!😂

@be_salt 2 года назад

We think so too!

@natasha.e9878 2 года назад

1000% send him the link!

@be_salt 2 года назад

Haha

@happymatt5512 2 года назад

That’s mean, I’ve not stood anyone up because I know from rare experience how bad it is!!! Don’t be tight, don’t stand her up!

@be_salt 2 года назад

Agreed!

@janetw1946 2 года назад

That was fun

@be_salt 2 года назад

So fun

@mathewrichards7309 2 года назад

My experience with dating is no one replys to my messages on dating sites and I find it rude that girls don't respond when you take the time to read someone's profile and take a intrest. I'm starting to think there are a lot of fake Christians. At least give someone the chance if they took the time to message you.

@tomtheentertainer_ 2 года назад

Agree 100%

@be_salt 2 года назад

Hopefully having more conversation and community about online dating as a Christian we can all grow in this

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

That is just part of online dating brother. There can be many reasons why it happens, for example, initial attraction isn’t there, spiritual differences are too great, the recipient receives too many messages to reply to them all, they’re very busy... I know it’s not easy but try not to take it personally... I have tried to date quite a few Christian men and each relationship has not worked out; it has taught me to get more thick-skinned. If it isn’t meant to be then it isn’t. I accept that. I trust God with that. 🙂

@theheavenlyjourney6702 2 года назад

I would definitely advise to not try to be but just being For example one can try to behave like they don't want out But sincerely and truly they do So simply we need to learn to do what God puts in our heart to do Where this matters is Judah Iscariot tried to be good but later failed so don't try to be just be I think when you feel like ending end in the right way Why Online dating hits away at the most rarest pursuits of trying to find love It's not a joke there's like one in twenty chances of finding the right match after chatting and getting to know someone So good luck yall That's the short note Thanks for the awesome app

@be_salt 2 года назад

It's a hard journey to navigate - thanks for your input and it's great we can do this in community

@theheavenlyjourney6702 2 года назад

@@be_salt good luck 😊

@CrossFitterinRealtime2359 2 года назад

How immature a man can be to be ghosting a woman, clearly indicates he’s not ready for a serious relationship...!

@be_salt 2 года назад

God's working on us all for sure

@joojosart7772 2 года назад

I had a similar experience. We wanted to meeet at a trainstation and have a walk but she didnˋt sho up. From some things she told me before there was a weird guy who stalked her sometimes. So I got really anxious that something might have happend to her on her way. I tried to call her and text her but I got no replies. I thought about calling the police. And some days later she finally texted me back, saying that when she arrived at the train station she was so scarred and didnˋt know what to do and after a while she turned back and left. I undeerstand that you can get in this sort of fear before a date and thats ok. But you have to tell the other person that they donˋt get worried. I donˋt know if she was just ashamed after this but she broke up the contact after this

@be_salt 2 года назад

That sounds really hard - thanks for sharing. Dating is pretty vulnerable

@twrecks6279 2 года назад

Damn. Was just chatting with a nice girl for a while there, and suddenly she's gone. Pretty upsetting.

@be_salt 2 года назад

We're sorry, lean into God whenever you face any hurt or rejection

@darrenrozier1438 2 года назад

I hate that. It's so annoying. All they have to say is "it's been nice chatting to you, but I've met someone that I'm now going to pursue. All the best in your search". Ok, it's still rejection...but surely it's more decent than just stopping talking to someone.

@butterflyyy8639 2 года назад

Lol... it is annoying though... but keep trusting... God may be protecting you from the wrong one 🙂

@henners1k92 Год назад

The best response to ghosting is simply to send the ghost the 👻 emoji.

@be_salt Год назад

Got to love an emoji

@isaacj2914 2 года назад

So it's not just us guys who get ghosted...

@be_salt 2 года назад

Nope, unfortunately it's happened to us all

@marcio5583 2 года назад

Send him the link💃

@be_salt 2 года назад

You think so!?

@pambrown3863 2 года назад

I feel bad now 😲 in my defense I felt it was going nowhere!!

@Gloriomono 2 года назад

Same here😱

@be_salt 2 года назад

Haha! There's grace - dating online is pretty tricky to navigate!

@matthewcunliffe6500 2 года назад

I find it hard to believe Lauren was stood up. I was so expecting a twist to the story! How hard is it to send a respectful message saying you don't want to pursue a relationship and hope they find someone else?

@be_salt 2 года назад

Sending a respectful message isn't difficult for sure!

@irenegamboa9860 2 года назад

Hola es interesante ese grupo felicitaciones pero muy jóvenes los muchachos pongan unos de 54 asía vamos y también asía rivales es un comentario grande

@irenegamboa9860 2 года назад

Asía riva

@happymatt5512 2 года назад

I got ghosted 👻 it’s just poor! Come on if you’re not interested just say so. I mean if the convo goes stale just add in a new conversation piece!

@be_salt 2 года назад

Good point!

@happymatt5512 2 года назад

@@be_salt It's not even hard, I mean I don't do chat-up lines or boring one liners, why? It's about the *conversation* getting to know someone on an app is the starter, getting to know them in real life. Come on, that's not hard! Driving the conversation empowers both people in experience, well you both didn't go to - carting / meal out / movie / etc just to go quiet, right?

@CarlCampbellMusic 2 года назад

The guy obviously has commitment issues 😅, probably saved you from a lot of issues

@be_salt 2 года назад

True

@nathandeporto9549 Год назад

Share the video with the dude.

@be_salt Год назад

Haha

@BBRC7612 2 года назад

Those types of demonic treatment is of the devil with egos and suggests some don't want to get to know others.. More forced and rushed.

@be_salt 2 года назад

We can do better and love each other well

@Taboo111 2 года назад

Send him the video let him know that his behaviour wasn't cool

@be_salt 2 года назад

Yess!

@darlingjazmin 2 года назад

Ghosting is just God telling you: Is not for you... So be actually grateful😊 you don't know what you're getting rid of... ( YOU Don't try to be God's voice by ghosting🤣) PD: Do not send the link my Dear; time waisting...

@be_salt 2 года назад

Too true