Go pound sand life update  

You are so brave speaking out of what is going on. No one should treat anyone the way you have been treated. My heart goes out to you ❤

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and trusting us with your experiences. People with disabilities are so susceptible to medical abuse, and you are brave for speaking out against it. Your journal also is going to be a great place to let it all out. ((hugs))

This is so scary to listen to, especially as a disabled person. I’m so sorry you’ve faced all that!

Oh sweetheart. I’m gonna cry too. That’s not right at all. I’m so sorry. As a chronic pain patient I know, it’s so hard for us to stand up for ourselves in the first place. Let alone have someone come into your home and take advantage of your situation. Sending you gentle hugs ❤

I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles with your home healthcare aides. I’m glad you were able to find someone you trust who is going to be able to assist going forward. I have two chronic illnesses, and both are invisible. This has lead to a lot of self worth issues because there are times I just can’t do the things I’ve planned, and my family has made full big time adjustments to their diet because of ingredients I can’t tolerate. It’s one thing when I have to make a concession or accommodation for myself; but asking others to make those same accommodations even if I pay for the swap makes me feel so horrid. I’m trying to give myself grace to internalize that even on my best day, I’m unlikely to start the day with the same amount of spoons as someone else. It’s a daily struggle to stop comparing myself to people who don’t have chronic illnesses, or who I feel end their day with so many more spoons than me and have been so productive. I’m working on progress, not perfection; because needing help or accommodations doesn’t make us unworthy. We are just as worthy of love and compassion as any other human. I’m sorry you went through something so horrible and that people took advantage of your good nature. I also forgot to mention before, but I think your journals for your family members are so special, and such a labor of love. I won’t have children of my own, but I treasure my nephews and niece and might start something similar for them.

I feel like disability and morality have gotten so muddled together when they literally have nothing to do with each other and I hope you can remind yourself that you’re allowed to exist in spite of others. That’s an affirmation I lean on a lot. You’re not a bad person because people have chosen to treat you poorly. I appreciate you so much and hope you’re feeling and doing better. Naming the traumas can give immense power and I am hopeful for your journey to healing the psychological wounds you’ve experienced. Wishing you safety and happiness 💞

Have you heard of the spoon theory? It’s exactly what you’re describing with the gumballs. Maybe look it up when you have a moment ❤or if you feel like it.