I was lying awake with my eyes closed in bed and my husband started playing this. My eyes popped open and we both busted out laughing. Now we're both wide awake 😂
"Its time to turn this mush into muscle. No more crying, 'Mr Kimble, I have to go to the bathroom!' Nothing! THERE IS NO BATHROOM!" - Arnold Schwarzenegger, "Kindergarten Cop," 1990.
My English teacher overheard me talking about this to a friend during our poetry unit and even though he didn't hear me say the title, he asks in front of the whole class "is it go the fuck to sleep?" That was one of the funniest days of that class. The fact he was familiar with this was awesome
@@I_have_a_70_i_love_it_thoughLMAO! Hysterical that you’re Eric.Cartman. I was a teacher and my sophomore students nearly shit their pants when they discovered that a couple of my favorite movie scenes in the the world was Uncle Fucker and Kyles Mom’s a Bitch from the South Park movie. That year whenever I was having kind of a rough day and it was noticed, someone always found a way to get close and whisper/sing “Shut your fucking face uncle fucker” and I’d start to laugh. I’m a very old woman now and occasionally put the movie in my dvd player just to laugh.
@@ElphbaNightelf-jx4xl hahaha you seem like you’d be an amazing teacher and I’ve been watching South Park for awhile now because I had no internet and it was the funniest dvd we had And I’ll agree with you the kyles moms a bit*h was hilarious I was rolling on the ground for at least 3 minutes after that
As a 31 year old single dad of a 5 year old who tries his best. This is so relatable at times, I swear I can't watch this without dying of laughter every time.
Oh, no you don't. You have nooooooooo idea. People think they do, but not until you have had an official "good bye party" on your games, everyone knowing you ain't coming back, you just don't know....
This helped me go the f*ck to sleep and I am a 44 year old man without children. I am greatly appreciative that Samuel L. Jackson is my father in this moment.
"How come you can do all that other great shit, but can't close your eyes and sleep?!" Beats me, idk why falling asleep has been literally the hardest thing ever for me lately...😭😂
He could just do regular kid's books and SLJ them: "Would you eat them in a house?" "F no! I would not eat them in a mother- house! I would not eat them f-ing here or there! F, I would not eat them ANYWHERE!"
"The big, bad wolf, huffs, puffs and blows the piggie motherfuckers off into the wastes. The piggies than built a house out of some shitty old ass wood they found in the wastes, and the wolf found them, the big bad wolf, huffed, puffed and blew the motherfuckers away into the wastes" - the best I could do for a funny joke
Funny story with this. So about two years ago, my mom was spending the week at my house. I had a smart tv, which will automatically switch from Netflix to RU-vid if I decide to connect my phone to it. Anyways, my mom didn't know I had a smart tv. Well one night I decided to go to bed early, but I couldn't sleep because she was binge watching "Once Upon A Time ", up until 11 or so. I'm not a night owl. So I decided to send her a "divine message". Using my phone, I casted this very video to my tv. Her reaction was priceless. She said, "F you, Netflix, let me watch my show. " XD
“I know you're not thirsty, that's bullshit! Lay the fuck down my darling” My brother swears he's hungry whenever he has to go to sleep, my Dad definitely understands how this feels. Lmao Edit: Sorry for messing up the words-
Child: I can't sleep without getting a drink Samuel L. Jackson: I see the council has come to a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I have elected to ignore it.
There are already 2 sequels, which are titled, and I quote, with a line from the book in brackets: You Have to Fucking Eat (The sunrise is golden and lovely. The birds chirp and twitter and tweet. You woke me up and asked for some breakfast, so why the fuck won't you eat?) Fuck, Now There Are Two of You (I have wonderful news for you, darling. A little brother or sister is coming----what fun! As for me, my life's pretty much fucked now, because two's a million more kids than one.) And a children's version of Go The Fuck to Sleep called "Seriously, Just Go to Sleep" which changes stuff like the whole "I know you're not thirsty, that's bullshit stop lying" line to "I know you're not thirsty. You just had a drink. Stop goofing around now, and sleep." These are gold LMAO
@@thecommoncollector Does this sound like AI? AI generated voices don't have the inflection and they have strange artifacts in the voice. Also this was made 5 years ago
Yeesh! You can tell the author was under major stress when he wrote this. Well, his daughter WAS only two at the time and I heard that most kids at that age still have no concept of time.
My son is 2. It is 11:41 p.m. currently. He is dinosaur screaming and throwing his cars. This probably won't end for at least another hour. I felt every word this man narrated in my soul.
@@nikkibear1334 My brother is 8. It's 11:51 PM. Currently he is dinosaur screaming and beating crap with his blanket. This was supposed to end an hour ago but doesn't typically end until another 10 - 30 minutes from now
Parents: *complaining that the book is inappropriate* The rest of us: can you have some sense and not read it to kids? I’d think it’s pretty obvious it’s meant as a laugh for mature adults, not meant to be read aloud.
Bullshite, I play this every night for our kids....My wife thinks I'm magical putting them damn kids to sleep. I hope eatables aren't harmful to children....nah they be kool.
One of my favorites! It’s hysterical and frankly, if you’re a parent, grandparent, or roped into babysitting your young niece or nephew, you’ve been there!!
Have you tried colored noise i.e. brown noise, green noise (feels like a hug), or frequencies? 528 Hz is one of my favorites. Or sleep stories. 🤞 You find sleep soon
I used to work the night shift in a nursing home and when we had residents that couldnt sleep we would read this book to them! (The ones with a sense of humour anyway) Never put any of them to sleep but gave us plenty of laughs!
@@RubyIsWeird No one does. And our brains work in such a way that homonyms can get their way into stuff without us realizing, regardless of if we are aware of the difference. I still write "it's" sometimes when I really mean "its" and more oddly, write "think" instead of "thing".
I love how it slowly transitioned of him reading really soft until him getting impatient, then trying to compose himself then ultimately getting frustrated and annoyed lmao
I can honestly say this story is relatable. The agony, the despair, and the feeling of defeat. As a child I was forced to read my father bedtime stories every single night. All I wanted to do is go the f*ck to sleep.😔😢
@Zephyrean I really hope you’re not talking about me. Please don’t restart the drama MontcomHorror created. It is so immature, and I am not a made up persona. I really can’t be bothered to deal with your nonsense.
The Writer is a genius, and the way Samuel read it out was perfectly right. Remember those nights. Weird kids grown up but I still can't get sleep 😫🤣🤣🤣👏
I feel this is more special than all the other videos on the internet now is because that’s actually Samual Jackson saying this. It’s not AI or someone cutting it together, he sat down and read this 😂
