I attempted suicude three times because of bullying. This was back when they blamed the bullied kid for not standing up for themselves. A lot has happened in the many years since then and I'm doing well now. My heart goes out to anyone experiencing bullying. Its very hard to live through.
I once got bullied by a teacher, because I told her she was misinformed for thinking that man was not an animal. I said it as politely as I could, and I still got in trouble for it. That is until my dad got involved. Then they stood down. And this was in Texas in the early 80s. In a place where more than once, I saw a burned-out cross on people's front yards in the morning, on my way to school. I sometimes shudder when I think back on it, and what could have happened.😳
Teachers are always the worst bullies. My 2nd grade teacher bullied me and my friends for being loud and socially unaware, i guess. She even went as far as calling us retards. I don’t know about everyone else because we lost contact, but I ended up getting diagnosed with ADHD and Autism :p
Poor Sophia. She's not even old enough to grasp the situation. Why would anyone put a child (especially their own child) through a situation like that? And then claim the moral high ground on top of it? Sick bastards.
Teachers can be bullies, too. Some of them actively encourage other kids to pick on you, too. And they are adults who should know better, punching down on kids, which is even worse than child bullying.
Teachers can be so strange sometimes. When my math teacher does something wrong and gets corrected, the person who tells him straight up gets extra credit. Do they think they’ll be looked down upon by the students if they’re wrong or something? Honestly teachers that can admit when they’re wrong instead of doubling down earn more respect in my book
This is so true. I knew an ex cop who was the most racist person I ever met and he hit his kids whenever he felt angry, he had no value for human life and couldn't think outside of himself. The ex cop's kid had litteraly been convinced that being an asshole to others was his personality and he thought that if he tried being nice to litteraly anyone that he would get bullied from it, I didn't have the paitinece and mental wellness to try and sit with that kid everyday and have more talks with him but I tried. (And CPS wouldn't do anything). Additionally I've met alot of staff that work in mental wellness facilities and it's always 50/50 of the most sweetest kindest people you ever met and some really really old women who privatly wish they were still allowed to verbally abuse mentally ill people. (There was one mean guy but he's on verge of being fired, I so deepy wish the same for the women to be fired aswell but one of them is the manager so it's harder to get someone even higher up to even acknowledge whats going on.)
@@robynaustin6663Yeah, wtf is with that, like I keep hearing that a majority of nurses in training are all the mean girls from schools, it's such a weird trend I'm hearing about, I really don't understand why people like that would want to get a job caring for others.
Bullying is such a horrendous thing for children to endure and it boils my blood that adults don't intervene. They expect children to be able to solve it on their own so they can be absolved of caring. They say it as "you have to learn to be tough" and "you have to learn to fight your own battles".
Or they expect you to apologize to your bully for your bully's actions. I pissed her off like the second day of fifth grade by calling her out about her blatant lie about a gymnastics move (we both did gymnastics). It was along the level of sheer absurdity of claiming you could run a marathon in an hour. That vendetta lasted till 11th grade when she almost got herself expelled for accusing me of "something" extremely bad (I was never actually told what), which could've gotten me expelled if I hadn't verifiably been in another state at the time. She completely ignored my existence for the rest of high school. But anyway, fifth grade. She would not leave me alone. Ever. I could be at my desk (not near hers), completely ignoring her verbal harassment while we were supposed to be doing quiet desk work, but the second I opened my mouth and said "Go away", she went crying to the teacher that I was bullying her. I was ordered to apologize, but I refused to stating that the only person who needed to apologize was her. Yeah, that went well. They decided that the best way to "resolve" this situation was to make me have lunch with my bully in the counselors office until I apologized. Which totally didn't work because I actually kinda preferred the office because it was quieter. They kept trying to convince me to apologize by saying "But if you just apologize you can go back to eating with your friends". What friends? I had friends, but they were all in other classes and you had to eat with your class, I read during lunch. Yeah, I was banned from bringing books to the office. Then her friends got annoyed I was "forcing" her to miss lunch, so they started harassing me. My homework would go missing *every day* (and no homework means no recess, you had to sit on the ground next to the teacher and do absolutely nothing, even stretching was considered recess), I was falling on people multiple times a day (because they tripped me), and my lunch selection was changed to "from home" every day (and if you "forgot" to order lunch you got PBJ, the school PBJ was disgusting), and still the teacher and counselor didn't see anything but my behavior. I even made me teacher (who was very mad I was "being dramatic") watch me put my homework in the turn in tray, but when she collected it, it was nowhere to be found. The next day I watched the tray (by this point I was at the desk closest to the teacher), until my bully started leafing through it, and somehow convinced my teacher (who still thought I was doing this of my own volition) to turn and look just in time to see my bully pull a piece of paper out, crumple it up, and throw it away. And what happened? I was still sent to the counselors office during lunch to apologize to my bully (who didn't lose recess despite me losing a couple weeks of recess). Eventually they gave up and told me to stay away from her. Like great, that's what I've been trying to do all year, she won't stay away from me. She continued to not leave me alone and I continued to get in trouble for it. I could be at my desk (now solidly on the other side of the room from hers), completely ignoring her saying horrible things, and I would still be the one sent to the office "for not saying away from her". Like she was the one out of her seat during desk work, but somehow I was at fault? I never figured out why she got such preferential treatment. We moved on to middle school, she tried something similar and immediately got detention.
It's so depressing to watch a brainwashed kid cry out to their God, even though their God doesn't exist and won't do anything to relieve their suffering
Funny thing is that there's a tale in the Bible where a bald guy gets bullied by kids and prays for God to send bears to devour the kids, which for some reason, he totally does😂
love your videos and hearing what you have to say,but you are dead wrong about one thing. when a cop sees a bully, they dont see a future criminal, they see a future cop. coos sre all just bullies with badges.ACAB
As for the bullying my mother had to threaten to call the news because i tried to off myself because of a bully and the school, even the superintendent wasnt doing anything
God, I'm so sorry. It's sick how apathetic school systems are. But I'm so glad you had a mom in your corner to fight for you. I hope you're doing better 💕
As a Roman Catholic who grew up in a VERY closed-minded, close-knit community of all Protestants, I endured this same kind of bullying. I had no friends, and whenever I walked over to any of the neighbor kids playing in their yard, a parent, usually their mother, would either come to a window or walk outside and tell me to "Go! Get out of here, and don't EVER come back over here! You and your whole family are going to Hell and you're not taking us with you!" As a quiet and sensitive kid, I just went home, stayed to myself, and I remember crying a lot.
I prayed so often and so desperately for God to save me from my abusive household, only to be let down over and over. I was a kid, there was nothing I personally could've done about the situation. Not once did I ever feel like I was even heard. If anything, putting my faith in religion made my life so much worse
This really spoke to me. I almost joined JW when I was 14, but they creeped me out so I left. They asked for all of their stuff back, so I knew I made the right decision. Anyway, I grew up Latina in a nearly all white school. I can really relate to being targeted for being different. It sucks. Your childhood wasn't wasted. Look at you now! Smart, successful, well-informed and warning people of the evils of religion. I watch this channel all the time, though I don't comment much. Thank you.
I went to school in the 70's and 80's and bullying wasn't taken seriously at all back then. In fact, if you reported it, you were just told to "toughen up." I remember in junior high school, a kid physically assaulted me right in the middle of class during the lesson. I retaliated and pushed him. He then threatened to kill me later at lunch. During the assault, the teacher stopped the lesson and with everyone else, he just watched this spectical unfold. The teacher did nothing. He waited until we were finished and just continued the lesson afterwards. Not a word to stop.
Back in 2001 until 2008, , it was almost the same (at least in western Europe). Since the first year, the school knew I wa psychologically bullied, but I wa told I was the one who was unable to "fit with he group"(ven the school's psychologist told me so!).Mom tried to tep in, but it only worked twice when I was physically assaulted (nothing serious, but my school at a 0 acceptance policy for physical assaults).
@@grenade8572 Very sorry to hear about your ordeal. I honestly believed it would have been different in Europe. But, I will say this, all the bullying I dealt with for decades truthfully has made me a stronger person in the end. I can't say that for everyone, but for me I actually did "toughen up."
@@freespirit3891 Make no mistake, I'm isolated as well. Even today, decades later, I have trouble trusting people. In a way it's kind of a form of PTSD. And sadly it has made me hard, cold, and less willing to love or allow myself to be loved. Being bullied from kindergarten to high school senior, and then continuing into the workforce. Being bullied on jobs by co-workers or bosses, all combine to change a person. I have never been mean or cruel to someone else. Thank God, because sometimes former bullied kids grow up to be bullies.
@@grenade8572 Everyone has different results. Only later in life did I learn how to fight physically, verbally and legally. After that, I spoke my mind to anyone, often standing up to new bullies or defending those who were being bullied. (Nature helped too by making me 6' 2", 200 lbs.) The worst bullies I've ever faced were in the workforce. Bullies on the job backstabbing for a promotion or bosses who think they are dictators above the rules. In situations like that verbal self defense and knowledge of the law served me more than fists.
I was bullied in Junior High by a group of the popular girls, and I never spoke up, never stood up to them. I just couldn't figure out what I had done to cause them to pick on me. Now I realize that they did it because they knew they would get away with it - that there would be no consequences. I wish I had stood up to them - even once.
Yeah, you are better than their games. Sorry, that happened too. I sometimes stood up for quiet kids. I was pretty aggressive and was willing to lecture to them.
As a kid I was abused at home, bullied by some kids at school, and I in turn bullied others. Thankfully I was able to get out of all that and become a better person. It's definitely a shame and guilt to carry forever, knowing that you took the hurt and ugliness inside of you and used it to hurt others.
27:57 and 44:36 it’s curious that Caleb is prevented from comforting/assisting his sister during her time of need. In the first clip he looks concerned and about to comfort Sophia when their mom pushes past him to get there first. Then in the second clip the crowd keeps them apart. At 39:01 he overhears her prayers but doesn’t go talk to her, but this is after their parents gave them the lecture about prayer at family study. Maybe I’m reading too much into it (probably) but it’s just curious to me that they don’t choose to allow Caleb to say or do anything about the matter.
Constantly feeling on edge and afraid of interacting with others because of experiencing bullying makes it so much more difficult to make friends and relate to others, you feel guarded and like you need to protect yourself. (I was bullied as a kid and the faculty didn’t do anything about it so I ended up switching schools)
I infamously once ran away from school because I was being bullied. I told the POLICE that I would kill myself if they made me go back. I ended up in a residential facility (technically didn't pass the burrito test) and while they technically offered education there, I didn't learn much. I've never been good at following class stuff (all my best learning has been self guided)
Or they just flat out make the situation worse. My school tried to make me apologize to my bully for her actions, and then acted like I was just deciding to "act up" when all her friends started bullying me. Because apparently it was my fault I fell on someone who tripped me.
What doesn’t help is that teachers and principals don’t care if you were bullied. I had teachers side with my bully when she stole a marker from me. If I went after the bully, I was the one in trouble. There’s no way to win.
Yep. I told my bully "Go away" and I was the one ordered to apologize. And when they finally gave up on that after a few weeks of lunch with my bully in the counselors office, I was told to stay away from her and continued to get in trouble because she wouldn't stay away from me.
My bullies manipulated me to think that it was my fault. Strangers were reaching out to me to tell me that my bullies were abusive to me but I still didn't fully believe it. Then one of their friends showed me a leaked message of one of my main bullies bragging about how it was funny to hurt me and she enjoyed it. This was when I realized that they knew what they were doing, and they liked it.
My bullies were super psychological and I was kind of happy to know years later- when these girls became women and had kids- had stated in a hs reunion chat that they regretted hurting me and they would have freaked if the same happened to their kids.
Well, having kids really can change a person. My uncle was an addict and was kind of a brat his whole life but when his son was born he quit and went to rehab, now he's out and spending time with him and I couldn't have been prouder😅
I used to be afraid of dogs if they were loose, bigger than me, and barking. My mom said, "they can smell your fear." Like, just find a way not to be afraid and the dog won't bark or attack. HOW CAN YOU NOT SHOW FEAR??? To me that's like blaming the victim.
The "smell your fear" thing is incorrect, but the point is to not _act_ afraid no matter how scared you are, ie running away, because that might cause the dog to chase and potentially attack you. That's not victim blaming, it's advising in advance to keep your wits about you even in stressful situations.
I don't understand that - the truth is that I have always been a dog person and can almost always tell what they are thinking at any given time. Honestly, I've always gotten along better with canines than with other humans: dogs don't lie to you, they don't hide their true feelings and are easy to get along with.
@@arlenesobhani8739 Even as a child I was like this - the idea of being afraid of a dog just never occurred to me: it’s humans that I always held with loathing and distrust, not canines.
It's crazy, years ago I distanced myself from my childhood friends just because they wouldn't sit with me in the kingdom hall twice a week. It's crazy, today my new JW friends have distanced themselves from me just because I'm not going to sit in the kingdom room twice a week anymore. It’s amazing what a kingdom hall can do. LOL.
When I was in school in the 90s there was a no tolerance policy for fighting. So even if the victim didn't fight back they'd get suspended for the same amount of time and when back in school they'd have to shake hands and make up with their bully and agree to get along.
Yep, my schools had that too. They were forced to modify that policy when a few 12th graders punched a 6th grader unconscious. The school was literally going to give him (and his hella brave friend who literally tried to shield him with his body) detention. The kid ended up the the ICU (the friend wasn't nearly as badly injured) and the school still assigned him and his friend detention. That was quickly reversed when the parents sued the district. They would also give anyone who "ran to watch a fight" detention. Even if the fight was started by someone being thrown onto your lunch, you were at the scene of the fight, you got detention. It's a bullshit policy.
Schools won’t do anything about bullying, despite all their claims to “zero tolerance”. They just hope the parents of the victim will put their kid in a different school, so the problem goes away.
And if it's a group of bullies, always go for the leader (even if they are siblings). He/she gets whacked on the chin once, and the others will usually stand down. They just want to watch the shenanigans. They do not really want to get involved, much less in trouble.
In my teens, I was bullied. If my imaginary child would be bullied, I kow he answer: 1) Reporting the bullies to the school 2) If t doesn't work (according to the imaginary child), reporting to the police AND getting a lawyer involved (writting a very official letter to the school and he bullies' parents) AND getting involved the child's protection services. 3) If it still doesn't ork, slapping the bullies vey hard in their face. I was peacefull an quiet for 6 years of bullying; it will never happen again (I don't care if I'm sued. As it would be he very first time I'd get in trouble with the justice, and as I would have get involved everyone, I'm pretty sure I'll be fine - in my country, suing is not as wild as in the US).
This! Like you said, Sophia is praying for a fix to her problems and she’s not getting that fix. It was heartbreaking when she started crying and told her parents ‘I prayed for it to stop but nothings happened.’ Instantly reminded me of the horrific numbers of children in that organization who are experiencing SA every night and praying for it to stop and not getting any answers to those prayers! Also made me think of the various churches we visited after we left the cult. They all used prayer lines, prayer groups, etc believing that that would increase their chances of getting their prayers answered by praying as a group. Very bizarre. What continues to puzzle me also is how all the churches had/have stories to tell of how without a doubt god answered their prayers! Make it make sense man. 🤔
I've been paralyzed since two days after my first birthday, and i got HORRIBLY bullied in elementary school. I walked with metal forearm crutches when i was in elementary school, and the one time I truly stood up to a bully, I knocked him in the head with the rubber tip of my crutch, then bawled my eyes out when he started crying haha. It worked for a couple years, though. I did that in second or third grade, and i wasn't bullied badly again until 5th grade when i had a group of boys throw rocks at my head.
I can't tell you how much it bothers me that the creators adultified the bully so much. Even her name, "Angela"? That alone sends a very specific message about children who are not a part of the religion. To be fair I share your sentiment about her being cool in the future though LOL
I embarrassed my bully infront of the entire grade, the everyone-is-laughing-and-pointing-at-you kind of embarrassment. She avoided me like the plague everyday after that.
I had an entire school in Michigan target me because I stood up for someone else. My mom was also working at the school, but when she had me move schools, she found out they were going to fire her over it and she ended up quitting before they could do anything. The entire town refused to talk to us after that save for the kids who switched from that school to the one I went to before moving to Virginia. Turns out those kids were actually really nice, but didn't want to say anything in case they became targets themselves.
I think the bully is really depressed about her grade and trying to play it off. Maybe she’s looking at physical abuse when she brings this grade home.
I am glad this came out at the right time. The advice for my kid's bullying is needed. He is not showing fear or anything but it is getting out of hand. We will be going to the superintendent now. I went up there 3 times.
In terms of the "they use the name of jehovah" thing, that actually helped me kinda save my boss's kid. He brings his 2 year old kid in to work sometimes when his wife is busy and has his grandma help babysit (she runs payroll). The other office worker there is JW, and one day when I went in to get my paycheck, I overheard a bit of a cartoon the kid was watching. It distinctly said that "we want to make jehovah happy". Nobody uses the name jehovah except the JWs, from my experience. When I was able to discretely talk to my boss, I pointed out that he should check what the kid is getting to watch and that I heard it mention jehovah. The boss is not JW, so he was pissed his kid was essentially getting preached to against his wishes. Never heard those cartoons in the office again.
Every time I hear a guy with a sawed off muffler screeching the tires on their car I think "wow. I really wished their parents loved them more as a child. All that emotional neglect is loud. Really hard on my ears."
This is my favorite series of yours. Dropping a tip incase the 'YT gods' aren't favorable and take your $$. Thanks for taking your time to talk about this
Looking back, I wonder if the temple priest actually r4p3d Hannah... taking advantage of her grief over not being able to bear children, and that was the real reason she had to give her child to the temple to serve.
i liked the idea you said about going to a trusted friend and having them punch you or something so you're not afraid of it anymore, so your bully can't use it to scare you anymore. like it sounds weird but it makes sense on a mental level.
Girl bullies are the worst because you usually can't get them in trouble. Their way of bullying is being fake nice and other weird psychological stuff that they can explain away if someone tries to get them in trouble.
I got choked and pushed into desks by this boy when I was in the 6th grade (I was a girl and he was a guy who'd been held back a few times so he was strong asf and a foot taller than me) and my teacher didn't do ANYTHING. After I moved I found out from someone else he got expelled for a bomb threat. But honestly? I'd rather be bullied by him than by the other girls that bullied me. He was purely physical, but the girls were mean. They excluded me, talked about me behind my back (in a loud whisper way so I could hear), and criticized me for everything. It got even worse after they found out I was bisexual (after someone stole my diary and read it). That affected me a lot more than the physical damage that boy did to me.
Not a JW, never a JW. I took care of two bullies in my third grade class while walking home from school. I was and still am a practicing Catholic. I believe in justice! I did tell the teacher, numerous times, and the principal. Nobody did anything, so I took matters into my own hands, or shall I say, fists, feet, etc. Not only did the two boys back off, but word got out and nobody messed with me.
Owen’s advice on bullies is good. Absolutely tell a parent, teacher, or other authority figure who can help! And also, bullies act how they do to get some emotional needs met. Don’t give them what they want. As Dr. K of Healthy Gamer said, be a terrible loot box. The actions of the bully are not your fault, but it’s good to do whatever you can to make them stop
Most of the time when God answers prayers, the answer is: NO, Not now, I'm watching Netflix, Who is this?, sends to voice-mail, or his most popular reply: GHOSTS YOU.
you are right about bullies. most of them went on to be criminals. I remember some who robbed liquor stores some were arrested for assaults . most were in and out of jail
Nothing like childhood mistreatment and a bit of martial arts training to make you less afraid of bullies. I'm the same age as you, and when I recently went to grad school, there were seriously bullies there who tried to physically and emotionally bully me. It's pretty damn pathetic. I'm too old for that shit and told them straight that it wasn't acceptable, but it's amazing how many people just let it happen as bystanders.
Gees, poor Sophia's life looks hellish, and I say that having been bullied a lot as a kid myself. On a less serious note, one of the ads that interrupted this video for me was for some self-defense thing; and the timing was just hilariously perfect, right when Sophia was running down the hall from the bully.
I’ve always hated when shows portray bulling like this. It worries me that a child will suffer from real bullying, but not recognize it because they think it needs to be this obvious.
Yeah, they don't mention that Hannah and Peninnah were *both* married to Elkanah, and that Hannah was considered *worthless* because she hadn't produced a child.. Mind you, as they're the kind of people who seize on their daughter's misery to promote their religion, it's not really surprising that they think this is an uplifting story.
Hannah and Benina's story is so flippant. Benina is breastfeeding, is constantly tired for taking care of children he puts in her and in the end he still loves another woman more. He is purposely creating a tension between his both wives and then just letting them deal with it. That's such a twisted, wicked and anti-feminist story, especially when we are portraying the exhausted mother as a villainess.
I encountered bullying, it's never just a bully, but rather nerdy kid versus everyone, you get picked as a target, the whole class will join in. Just how it goes. But I always made it clear that I would fight back, and in doing so balanced things out, over all my school experience was aight.
I was a child of the 80’s. Talking things out didn’t work. I got my ass kicked for being different until I fought back and took out all my JW frustration on the person picking on me until they finally respected me because I didn’t take their shit!! Afterwards I had a decent amount of worldly friends. Back then fighting back physically was respected. That was my experience growing up in Orlando, FL.
49:10 - Owen, I grew up Pentecostal, far right, etc. Down in Honduras. I think I've shared this before but I was shot down on a redrum attempt and survived. This was in 2016, december. I've spent the last 6 years trying my best to overcome ptsd and depression and anxiety with the help of therapy and medication... but no, people insist "you couldn't have done it without gawd" guess who began deconstructing a few years ago as well. Who has two thumbs and began deconstructing a few years ago. 👍👍 this guy! I value and love myself so much more now that I know that I'm capable of doing things without any intervention, of course, other than the medical attention i've received. Life is so much more enjoyable like this, knowing the potential that is in me and also the potential in every person to do good and to overcome their hardships Take care, brosquito, your content is awesome
Owen just casually talking about a fight left me so confused at first. Because I was not expecting it. I'm so used to thinking of him as some peaceful person that I was not expecting the edge lord badass 😂😂
Owen's method of deferring to authority is supposed to work, it usually does for non minority groups. You don't know the authorities don't have your back until you ask. It's valid because it should work. While Owen suggests holding your own, mirroring, there are times in minority situations where that's dangerous. Fear is valid, and running is a valid response to fear. Not all majority populations hate *your* minority. Your power is with them. Find your friends.
When I got bullied it was because people thought I was weird and annoying I just turned it up to a million. Whenever I saw my bullies I acted more weird and annoying so that they would actively want to avoid me. It worked too. I saw one of they years later and she made a rude comment about my voice but when she recognized me she shut up. I wasn’t physically bullied though so I wouldn’t know what to do about that. My strategy only really works for verbal bullying.
Not "some random guy." He was the priest at the temple. And we christians say something similar to this day. "Praying for you/God bless you." We're not ordering Him to bless you. We're saying the shortened version of "May God bless and keep you."
I have a classmate who ALWAYS prays before every meal. He needs to say a prayer before the food gets to his mouth. I honestly don't mind, he does it quietly and relatively fast. He's the only one that prays before every meal so it's common for us to be mid conversation, sitting down after reheating our lunch or whatever and he suddenly just lowers his eyes, sorta covers his mouth with one hand, and starts mumbling to himself (or god) for a few seconds. It's always weird because he doesn't warns us to pause the conversation making us feel like assholes but other than that no one cares. Anyways, I've seen him forget his prayer a few times (not often) and the look on his face when he already has that first bite of food in his mouth and he hasn't prayed yet, brakes my heart. Of course he's gonna forget sometimes, he is excited talking with friends about a new technique he learned at his clinical internship while starving and everyone else just pulled out their lunches and started eating, of course he'll forget and dive in with us. Yet the look of pure fear in his face when he realizes he forgot is sickening. Why this young man, still in his teens, at college, following all the arbitrary rules of his religion, needs to fear omitting a prayer? Doesn't he believe god to know he's a good boy following all the stupid rules and there's no evil intent just because he forgot to thank god for the meal that he had to work to buy and then cook and pack all by himself? I honestly hate how some Christians can't acknowledge their own effort and success because everything is "thanks to the Lord", I hate how scared they are all the time, all the "I can't do this because I would go to hell", they are terrified and all they are getting from that religion is more fear and a worse self esteem. I'm all for freedom of religion and what not, but there's a point when this stuff is plain harmful (and I'm not even talking about the really sinister shit) ( I know about his prayers because that's what I've observed, we do talk about the bible and stuff, he's open about his religion, he has tried to convert me in the past, but he has never done anything like telling me he needs a minute to pray or something.)
My family is Catholic and my mom and her siblings grew up with their mother telling then they don't pray and believe in god enough since he did answer their prayer. Their father did similar physical abuse to yours on top of not feeding his family (while eating expensive food in front of them), took advantage of his daughters, etc. The cruelty of saying something like that to a child is something I can't fathom. I was bullied a lot, especially by boys, which I now think is because I am a trans guy and didn't realize it yet. And the one time I reacted to bullies was when they only bullied me once. A group of girls were purposefully walking slowly and preventing me to pass them while walking back home, so I got angry, waited to be by a snowbank and pushed one of them into it to pass them. So I agree with you: it's worth learning to stand up to bullies, especially when authorities don't want to do a thing about it.
Thank you so much for talking about the school experience and bullying. I am going through a grieving phase of my own childhood not so much for directly related religious reasons but for passive WASP related reasons. My family never wanted a child who had a learning disability, or gained significant weight from eating to self regulate. It hurts to look back on because my siblings and my cousins openly suffered with anxiety and got a lot of much needed help but because I was overweight I wasn't "worthy" of mental health care like they were because my coping mechanism was a sin. At 30 something years old I'm finally feeling like I'm not drowning anymore and I don't eat as much because I'm not going through life feeling constantly physically threatened or unsafe. If anything I'm making plans that make me remember I want to be alive for the next 5 or 10 years, which is a still very new and welcomed concept for me. Thank you. There's two types of people in this world, one that says "I suffered so you should as well" and one that says "I suffered and I want you to have it better than I did" and I think its clear as day you are the second one.
21:25 Actually, that kind of toxic gratitude does sometimes transfer into even the most well meaning families. My parents did expect me to thank them every day for bringing me into the world and everything they did for me, and to never complain or talk back, or disagree, just obey. My parents aren't bad people, in fact we are closer now that I'm grown up. But that was the message in the past for a lot of kids my age. So, I do think the way we think about God transfers to the family, for better or for worse.
Ngl I really did enjoy when Caleb elbowed that random kid at the water fountain and said, “That’s my sister!” Then bro just shrugged and left. It just reminded me of myself and how I get so proud of my sister for doing the most random things.
40:56 point of order. *Some* gay people can be "bad," just like some straight people. Bullies know no sexual orientation. And thus, neither gay people nor straight people are immune to being cruel to others. It's a choice, either way, that has nothing to do with sexuality.
I have to remind myself that you're quite a bit younger than me. They did a lot worse than punching me in the face. It eventually became sexual in nature. My resource room gave me a pamphlet to show me how to not make a spectacle of myself, so I would be a target. Basically, it was my fault for being noticed. What I did to be noticed was be in academic classes with normal kids instead of accepting the LD education they offered.
YOU were "making a spectacle of yourself?????!!!!!" Of course! Blame the victim! WTF!! I am so sorry you had to put up with that garbage! Hugs from San Diego, California. :) :)
Completely unrelated to religion, I was bullied in middle school. It's a lot harder when there's *no* threat of violence. Nobody ever broke anything of mine, nobody ever acted aggressive. I only ever got snide comments and body language that sent a clear message that I was socially unwelcome. And it wasn't one kid or even a small group, it was half of my grade. I don't even know what I could have done, no piece of anti-bullying advice even feels relevant.
From what I’ve seen, girls play mostly mind games and a girl standing up and talking back to them usually results in a nails-out, vicious brawl and they get bad. I’ve seen pulled out hair and blood at these. Most guy fights don’t get that bad.
I have a coursemate whos a Jehovahs witness, she is one of the nicest people ever and she gets weird stares all the time. I try my hardest to protect her even when she isn't aware, she doesn't deserve any of it, people are so fucking mean for no reason at all.
I tell you there is NO system of educating children that works. The current system is so broken that kids are depressed and suicidal by the time they are 12 (speaking from experience, though I'd been miserable in school for MUCH longer. I started hating school and having nightmares about it in grade THREE because I was bullied by everyone, teachers students, everyone) I used to BEG to be homeschooled because I wanted to learn but school was horrible. (My parents told me they weren't qualified to teach me, which is hilarious considering the stereotype of homeschool parents) homeschooling works if you have oversight and groups for kids to get together for socializing, but oversight is hard. Honestly our education system needs an overhaul from the ground up, the factory line education doesn't work. Even the majority of private schools aren't helpful. And they are just as likely to indoctrinate kids as homeschooling.
