@@ericamartin8845she's an adult sitting at a table with her friend she was invited out with. She can do wtf she wants. She's not some stranger that just interjected. What pisses me off the off most about this clip is that regardless of the context people in the comments are using it to confirm and further their own entitlement "because family". She has an obligation because she promised, that's the only reason.
Yep. People crying here about pushing a parent's responsibility to the older child. Like no, that wasn't what this clip was about. The mom checked on her younger daughter that's how she knew about her situation, so clearly she didn't storm in the scene to shove her responsibilities to her elder daughter... This scene was about her reminding the elder daughter to take accountability for her promises... I honestly think that's one of the most important things a parent should teach their kids if they want them to grow up as adults with integrity.
Exactly... A large portion of Today's society has an issue with accountability... She wasn't passing on a parent responsibility, she was strategically parenting two different aged daughters...❤
This clip is not telling the entire story. Zoey said she would be there for her sister and she wasnt. Zoey didnt have an emergency, she just made a promise that meant something to her lil sister and then didnt follow thru. Mom is going out of her way to help the younger sister, not so much come down on the older sister
It is very important to have these conversations before there is an issue. I sat my oldest down months before she went to college. She is the best big sister now 25 & living on her own. She demands to have her siblings one weekend a month. She also makes sure that her siblings on her dad side are all just as close. Idk how she has the time but she makes it.
❤ my sister was like that growing up. We are 13 years apart and I remember in jr. High and high school going to her apartment on weekends and would be so excited when she showed up to my games and pep rallies and concerts.(was in orchestra , choir &dance ) It really is important! It also went both ways , I remember overhearing her tell someone she didn't do something because she thought about how she would have to tell us (my other sister)what she did and it made her change her mind.
These comments shows me exactly why the family (siblings) are so distant. I am the older sister and I stay ready for them if they need me. It’s not for lil sis to figure out if you made a promise to be there. lol the mentality of the today’s human being is crazy
Single parent here. I was divorced for 3 years: When my son left for college he told his little sis that he'd always be there for her. He was 18 and she was 6. They were close and played video games. I even caught him playing Barbies with her once. He left for his new adult life and barely saw her (holidays, no calls. Came by the house to shop in my fridge for food). I tried to explain to my daughter that different stages of life and that one day she will leave on this new journey too and that her brother will return as will she. I told him that when she gets older and he will try to comment on her life and pick up where they left off she wont accept it. His lil sis (my daughter) was devastated. He tried to "pick up" his "big brother" relationship with her years later. Unfortunately she remains distant. I long to hear them laughing together and acting silly as they once did. Perhaps one day...
@chocolatte522 the interest is a o longer ther for the younger siblings. same with me I'm a younger sibling... the connection that was or was possible before was broken from the lack of effort when younger so when older ... I'm used to not having u in my life that much if at all so igs like meh
Think about it, Zoey said you're just coming down on me because she wants my help and not yours. How stupid does that make her sound. Yes, her sister wants her help and she's not there for her, making Bow have to go get her in check. 😂😂😂
I tell you what it really is. Zoey went to college and got out of striking range. This is something Diane will not forget or forgive. They keep messing with the scariest one.
Great parenting Mom.. Sometimes you don’t want to talk to your parents because you NEED TO TALK TO YOUR SIBLING..SISTER OR BROTHER! Notice Diane has a TWIN, but she knows Jack has not reached that level of maturity yet about love, dating & disappointment that Diane probably feels is heartbreak in this her first time dating! Zoey should have answered the phone, because it could have been a physical emergency as well (you never know). Stay Blessed y’all!
Someone walks up to my table and tells me to go away, after I’ve paid to be there. She can pull her daughter to the side and chastise her there or we’re all going to be present for this “private” conversation, that’s taking place in a very public setting. If you’re in the public domain you can’t expect privacy.
If she hadn't promised that she'd be there I would have taken Zoey's side and said Rainbow was parentifying her eldest daughter but Zoey made that promise to Diane and anyone who has watvhed the show knows Diane doesn't like nor trust people easily so her placing her trust in her older sister is a big deal especially for her first date.
She have been trained from both not to trust anybody except for both and her sister and that's what she gets human disappointment all humans are humans There is just way too many people are just too mentally screwed up
Parentifying? You people have a seemingly bad word for everything good lol Parentifying is supposed to be a MOTHER being a Parent to her own child? That too is now bad? lol I can't please
@@mz_bi Read with comprehension and understanding if you didn't understand the use of the word you could have just asked. In this context parentifying isn't Rainbow being a parent to Zoey it would be Zoey being a 'parental' figure to Diane. Have a nice day sweetheart.
@@mz_bi parentifying is when the parent's responsibilities are placed on the oldest child that oldest child is expected to raise their younger siblings and carry the emotional responsibility for them.
If you arent taught to keep your promises at home you'll learn the extra hard way when someone doesn't keep promises to you. Its part of home training that doesn't end just because you're 18. Theres so much to learn about your place in the world and strengthening your relationship as an adult sibling. This is teaching her how to be part of the village that takes care of each other. Parents won't be alive forever. You have to make yourself relevant to your siblings before the glue that holds the family together dies. Also its never a great thing to get snippy with your mom when youre in the wrong. I love this show for choosing to work these hard things out
This is truly correct. When my daughter was 11, she loved her cousin, but she had her new adult life, and my daughter was so hurt. She is 31 now, and the pain is still there. They looked up to them, and they needed to realize that.
What do y’all actually expect people to dooooo omg 😭. Omg should she be soooo sorry that she had to grow up like literally every living person on this planet and get a job and pay bills and raise her OWN kids? Y’all are missing the point of the video here. Damn let that woman live her life wtf she’s 30 years old. This girl simply made a promise and failed to come through. Y’all are comparing completely different situations here.
I get that, my oldest sister is adopted and treats us like adopted family n not family. My other older sister no longer believes her when she says “i’m coming to this family function this year” because she’s that unreliable, my older sister loved her as a child then realized shes a very fickle woman. We all love her deeply but she doesn’t make time for us like she does her bio family she met up with.
@@ayethebeatgooffno they aren’t… it’s the fact of the matter, she brushed her sister off like it’s nothing. And y’all making like parents were asking them to raise their siblings, LIKE NO they’re just asking not to forget about them which is the BARE MINIMUM as a sibling
Anyone who's watched the show knows that Diane is Very self reliant, or attempts to be self sufficient. So for her to reach out, it means a lot. For Zoey, her older sister who in previous seasons had shown herself as willing to try and understand and be there for her younger siblings and bridge that gap, to make a promise to Diane and then Not follow through just to hang out with a friend... That's messy and callous.
@@ezellaford1771thirteen a teenager Zoe has been their and Diane doesn’t ask for help so the fact that she did is a BIG deal that’s why her mom was getting on to her she gave her sister her word..
You are very correct, when Zoey did what she did to Luca i forgot about the show. Luca was a good boyfriend even when Zoey was toxic, and she threw him away without a second thought because she was jealous Aaron and her FRIEND had a kindling romance.
Some of you are confusing pushing parenting role on the oldest versus the sibling being a role model to their little sibling. Diane looked up to Zoey and when it came down to her having her first date and dealing with guy stuff Zoey said she would be there and wasn’t. (Accountability and support system) Not everyone wants to go to their parents about dating because they know they’ll either make it weird and awkward or etc. the point was Zoey was basically treating Diane as if she was an after thought and not a priority. She could have at least let her know hey I’ll talk to you later instead of just completely blowing her off as if she didn’t care. If watched the show or even the spin off you would see that Zoey is unreliable, selfish, and doesn’t care about anyone unless it’s to benefit her personal gain. That’s why Bow was saying the things she said because she was just tired of Zoey always treating her family as an after thought even though they did so much for her up until the point they cut her off and she had to do everything on her own. Ex: imagine your older sibling you look up too say they’ll always be there or go to your sports events and they just basically lied and never went to any of them and when you try to connect with them they blow you off and want to play victim when you try to hold them accountable for not being a good sibling/being there for them when you needed them to be. We all have out personal in the family we go to that aren’t our parents.
I just know the whole lot of y'all are going to have an extreme hard time living I could not see it before but it's not the whole work-life balance that's out of balance BUT it is everybody's mental philosophy Ppl HAVE TO always remember in this today's society where everything is at everybody's fingertips "One can NOT ALWAYS get what one ALWAYS wants "
@@alliwishis_2 Zoey. Once you’re off at college, you don’t wanna be tied down to your family anymore. Sometimes, to the detriment of others, including those closest to you
@@togaprentice9927 This part I definitely can see and most definitely know from my own experience and others who have had the same experience as I had And that's coming from all the way from the 60s to right now to this point It is just so funny that a lot of people who have not either gone off to college or still just in high school cannot see and understand this as well and I know Diane was looking for help in dealing with her relationship to someone who is different from her But she also needs to be much more resourceful BECAUSE of the fact that Zoey is not always going to be there and if she is she is not always going to be right about many things and that to me is the most disappointing part
Don't blame gen z for this 😬 this is a teenager routine as old as time. I'm sure your granny was telling her momma not to pull up on her at the malt shop. Teens are often angsty, impulsive, and self serving, because hormones are high and parents usually pull back with the support, guidance, and active interest in their hobbies. They also get that taste of freedom for the first time. It's important to remind them to stand by what they say.
One thing my mother taught me was be aware of what you do because you never know who is looking up to you when you make a promise do your best to keep it
Don't make promises because if something comes up then somebody needs to be put on hold and it's not the person who made the promise. Life can be disappointing, it is what it is
@@R-DinHono… your word is your bond. If “something happens” is the excuse you’re rolling w/ then promise or not u shouldn’t tell anyone u can do anything. There was literally no reason for her to break her promise to her sister.
I am so thankful to have siblings who would be and are there for me in a small and big moments - even though some have spouses, children and stressful jobs. Thank you, God!
I’m the last of my siblings and if they made a promise to me, you bet your butt I’m looking forward to it and I will feel neglected (did) if they didn’t follow through but I’m an adult now and I don’t have kids but if I make a promise for my nieces, I’m doing it
I love the way my four girls are there for each other. They get on each other’s nerves 😆 but I have watched one cry and the others fall into place. It’s a beautiful thing to watch… crazy butts. ❤
Grownish is exactly what every teen and tween needs to see. The choices you make and how you treat people will follow you and shape who you are as a person. Zoey was selfish and bratty on Blackish, and carried that same self centered behavior to Grownish. However, type of conversation should have been had years ago, and that attitude checked. Parents should also know their kids and who they raised.. Lol Zoey was literally a mini Joan in the making looking back on it 😂
I am the oldest sister and I don’t speak to my younger siblings. They don’t respect me as the oldest and knowing just a tad bit more than them. My sister has ruined my life in ways she doesn’t understand, ruined me joining a church. The list goes on actually for us to be cool or even speak again would be at a funeral. And not mine.
I am an older sibling by choice. I’m a member of multiple families because I missed that sense of belongings with my own. But I always promise to be there for my younger siblings. Funny enough I was at work yesterday and my ma texted me that my little sister had threatened a teacher in a similar fashion that I would. I dropped everything I was doing and called to talk to my little sister and teach her that she was far above resorting to violence. Apparently she calmed down and hearing my voice really helped. I could never imagine letting my life get so busy that I wouldn’t be there for them.
Never seen this show, but the comments tell me that the kid is a horrible person who probably deserves much harsher than the polite little chit-chat her mom is giving. A lot of shows depict parents as having more kids with the understanding that _they_ can now dip in and out at their leisure because their older kid is a free babysitter regardless of their feelings on the matter; I've never seen the sibling equivalent of verbally promising to be there for the big game and bailing for so-called 'work'.
This is what family is...showing up for one another when needed. Top #1 issue in this country is a lot of ppl are individualistic and selfish....it breaks families apart.
I'm the eldest sister, and I would never purposely leave my sister hanging. I'm 8 years older, and I used to take her everywhere with me. We've been best friends for so long, and our bond is very strong.
Keep your word sister. Feeling like a sister (older or younger) has your back goes a long way with building character, emotional fitness, mental strength and the list goes on. Makes you into a stronger, and more stable human.
I love my siblings so much, I want to be there for them for anything and everything. Never make your sibling a promise and then break it. Your word means nothing if you can’t hold a promise to your sibling, the closest person to your DNA and heart.
I get it. My sister and cousin brought me to a party when I was 19 years old I had no idea and left me there. I don't agree with the fact that I was irresponsibility but at the end of the day I would never have put myself in the position that they put me in. I almost got raped because of that situation and I can forgive them but I'll never forget it. It was truly traumatizing.
Literally brought tears to my eyes. I have two daughters 4y and 8m and I hope they can always be there for each other the way my sisters and my family has always been there for me and vice versa.
My mom when I tried going to college and do my thing and would call me frequently about my little brothers behavior like if I was his mom and I got so tired I quit school to be closer to home and just now get attacked and told im a loser for not finishing school or doing something my little brother suffers from depression and other mental illness I would be told if he killed himself it would be my fault for not being a caring sister when I was trying to just work on my career.
There’s two kinds of people; little sis gotta figure things out on her own and family doesn’t let family down. Both are valid tbh…personally, I’m on Bow’s side. She chose you to be there for her. You agreed to be there for her. Now you got an obligation and you don’t go back on obligations especially with family.
This just makes me miss my older sister. I never got to have a real relationship with her before she moved out. Now I just feel forgotten. Love your sisters while you can ❤️
I'm the youngest of 6, I don't depend on none of my siblings because they have their own life plus I don't have time for their bs.. Especially when it's consistent bs.
My mom always told me and my brother that we need to be there for each other because one day they wouldn't be there for us. We've held to that since childhood. I fought for him when he got bullied and he fought for me when i got kicked outta the house at one point. We've supported each other through so much and even in our 30s we still do.
Honestly Zoey’s attitude towards a lot of things in this show and grown-ish in real life probably would’ve got her knocked up side the head a few times, at least by me bc girl bye 🙄
The lesson to be learned here is that your family is not always going to be there for you. This is something that happens in life and you have to deal with it! It is one of the major lessons that you should learn growing up. People have their own problems and their own lives, and they just cannot stop and do everything that they promise it is what it is. You need to learn to accept that and move on and learn to become self-reliant. Yes, she let Diane down but that is part of life and you're going to have to deal with that! No matter how much you may promise that you're going to be there there's going to be sometimes in life when you just can't be it is a major life lesson that everybody has to learn. Yes, family is supposed to be there for each other but, at the same time you're going to have to learn to be there for yourself.
Let’s stop that shit right tf now Diane was always self sufficient she always made it happen on her own so for her to call you at all after you looked this child in the face and said you would be there and blew her off for mfs you see everyday that was rude and selfish stop tryna make this into a you got to fix stuff by yourself moment because this isn’t one of those moments for the most part Diane didn’t need Zoey she stuck up for herself she did stuff on her own but this was her first date and the person who promised her they would be there said fuck her the lesson that needs to be learned is if you can’t keep a simple promise don’t promise anything especially being there for someone when you don’t care about anybody but self
I’m the oldest in my family & made sure even during my college days to be present with my siblings. I was excited to go off to college & didn’t realize they were heartbroken when I left. I came home a lot. Always remember your presence is the biggest 🎁
This is why you should go to school out of state!! Im the youngest and the expectations of the oldest sibling is wild! Making them the third parent is sick. Its like you all are married your parents and helping to raise their kids!😂
I am also an OLD older sibling, and while I appreciate mom looking out for her younger daughter just wanted to pop in and say that there is also SOOOO much pressure on us older siblings and it gets so hard! Parents, please remember that you had child(REN) not one child and a "born in caretaker". It all starts with the parents and how you want your children to interact with each other will reflect how you are as parents to ALL of your children!
This was a promise made to a sibling that was not kept …and it was a promise of the heart… if you’re not up to it then “go away” let the one who is willing do the job. What you don’t do is flake after taking on the lead role.
@@damaralpage don't act like you're so perfect. You mean to tell me you've NEVER EVER broken a promise before? Even if that wasn't your intention to break that promise? Siblings are still human and Zoe is also a young adult still trying to figure her own ish out. That doesn't mean that Zoe doesn't love her little sister it means she made a mistake and she's allowed to do that.
I GET THIS!!! and its sad that alot of sister dont have any bond cause the older one decided the younger one was insignificant...i was that younger one and me and my sister are not close despite me trying to be ...i gave up
I totally understand this dynamic. What's worse is when they do not have the emotional intelligence to understand what they did, so the relationship stays fractured into adulthood and old age.
You know it's crazy. I see a lot of people in the comments saying that this happened with their kids or what their older sibling. Without recognizing that no one ever was there to do this for the older sibling. Why do younger siblings need so much extra care? I feel like a lot of first borns especially, are parentified and don't realize it until college grants true freedom.
As the eldest sibling in a stereotypically toxic and melodramatic Asian family, I agree. However, this girl *promised* her sister. The mother just reminded her that she made a promise to come through when the circumstances arise. You gotta keep your word, especially to the ones who rely on you and respect you. Otherwise, just don't. I think the focus here is the value of treasuring your family AND having a word of honor. If you promised to be there, gurl, you gotta be there.
Your word is your bond. If you promise something follow-up or you are just another untrustworthy person. It has nothing to do with older or younger siblings. It has to do with honor and respect.
I hear you, but in this instance the eldest volunteered to be there and she bailed. Rainbow (Mom) wanted to be there, but Zoey not only volunteered but she also (figuratively and literally) pushed Bow out.
That's not always true. My oldest daughter had her older cousins, 2 nieces from Dad's side and 1 niece from Mom's side. It doesn't have to be a sibling.
Usually, the oldest or first born child has a special bond with the parents, grandparents, godparents or aunties and uncles whom they can count on. Likewise, in most families, there are also older cousins who can replace an older sibling.
